• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


On the Sliding Scale Of Cynicism Vs. Idealism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon, Ko-Fi.)


If you look around the multiverse, you'll find several entities who would be happy to see them, at least initially. Those sapients would be operating on dreams of free wishes and gold -- or, for the more sensible, shoe repair. But Equestria knows nothing of those tales. And so all Rainbow knows is that it's a very important day, one where she absolutely must have privacy, and that means she needs to get these miniature green-jacketed lunatics out of her life.

Must be Crackfic Week again!

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 54 )

Author's Public Note (to be read only after finishing):

The last line is FOME's fault.

:rainbowlaugh: Poor Rainbow! I can she why she dreads this day, I doubt I would enjoy it even if I had a rainbow colored hair.


...Was this the 100th, then?

I accept full responsibility.

Also, :rainbowlaugh: And wonderful touch with a Berry Punch who'll ferment anything once. Though I have to wonder where Rarity encounters addicts. I suppose fashion is a stressful industry.

Can someone explain to me what I just read/what just happened?



The miniature bipeds, however, were entirely now.



Should have been 'new'. Thankee: fixed.

Oh. You. Fiend!


Every adult pony is, at varying degrees, an addict to their cutie marks.


Rainbow either puked or pooped out Lucky Charmtm. I can't quite tell but I believe she puked them up. Apparently this happens to certain Pegasi around Equestria and some find it enjoyable.

Great job capturing the worst physical feeling short of childbirth or violence. Eugh.

That ending though. Could you imagine how traumatized she would be if a view portal opened up and she got to see our cereal commercials? Diplomacy dead before it ever got a chance.

Considering what marshmallows are made from, it’s no wonder Rainbow is not fond of warding day. She probably spent the whole night having nightmares of seeing her hooves being boiled down into gelatin.

That ending... was...
I have no words. But you have my horrified like?

Guess what I just had for breakfast while reading this...

I am both intensely curious what the 'next' steps of warding day are... and really REALLY don't want to know at the same time...

An excellent job.

Not excellent enough to save you from the eternal fires of Sheol for that last line, mind you. But excellent.

This was horiffic and hilarious at the same time. The bit with Rarity and the ending where the most funny part.

That time Warwick Davis came to Equestria..


Or maybe a leprechaun that first paid a visit to the Southern USA...


Or perhaps one who inadvertently saved a dude from the chariot of Death.



If there's really gold at the end of Rainbow, wouldn't that be a Plot of Gold?

What? How? Why?
And more importantly Why? :pinkiegasp:

*Alondro reads story... Alondro dies from the punchline* That was absolutely insane! :rainbowlaugh:

Fan may have thought of it, but you’re the one sick enough to actually post it. Your audacity simultaneously impressed and deeply disappointed me. I mean, damn...

Forgot to mention this earlier but my first thought when I saw this was like this is the most evil-looking leprechaun I've seen. It shows up first in the image results so I guess it's way more common than I thought.

...Oh good grief. :D

"What's a religion?"

See, this is why it's a bad idea to engineer a culture that doesn't ask things like "who made the world".

Also, that ending . . . eww.

Olde fantasy soft magic goes perfectly with “What” and “That was real, then” humor found in online fan fiction. Even in a story as off focus as this, you write it very well.

🎼"I've been to Hollywood. I've been to Redwood. I crossed the ocean for a plot of gold..."

When god holds open court every day and your special purpose in the universe is magically tattooed on your ass what on earth could religion possibly offer them?

Have you read Estee's Triptych? Slight spoilers, but one of the major themes is that even if many ponies treat the princesses as gods, they aren't really divine. Another major theme in the 'verse is that while many ponies do let their mark tell them how to live their lives, it does not allow for being a well rounded individual. It also doesn't explain things like "who made the world", which Pinkie says in Triptych is an example of a "foal question", a question which adults say it's silly to ask even though they don't know the answer either. Another example of a foal question is "where do alicorns come from?"

Heck yes
That punchline though :pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh:

How to Make an Estee Crackfic
Step 1: Think up one or two absurdities
Step 2: Write a normal Estee story
Step 3: Insert absurdities into normal Estee story
Step 4: Enjoyable confusion

The next words were even more indistinct, as the pony speaking them was trying to curl up into a configuration where all of the smaller parts were blocked off. "You said vore . I know that's bad."

1. Wrong kind of vore, dash
2. some of us like that kind of vore if you know what I mean :trollestia:

Wow. Yeah, did not see that coming. xD Bravos

I didn't know what to expect, so I was ready for anything. Almost.

This was fantastic.

Having read this fic, I find myself in that peculiar state of being simultaneously amused and horrified. The shenanigans themselves were entertaining enough, with the usual Estee wit, but poor Rainbow's worsening predicament evoked nothing but sympathy and mild disgust at the potential implications. For most of the story, I actually thought she was about to lay an egg. What actually happened... I have no words.

Just tell me one thing, Estee: which hole did the Lucky Charms come out of?

Oh my god this story is crazy :derpytongue2:

Only you, Estee. could take the premise of "leprechans look at Rainbow's arse" and manage to fit in your typical world-building, some good old body horror (for ponies, anyway) and then end on a gloriously hilarious one-liner.

Only you.

*tips helmet*

Boooo! Damn you for actually making me laugh at something this ridiculous.

Seems to me that Rainbow really needs right now is some Crystal Geese. :pinkiecrazy:


They could ask. The answer would likely be worse than not knowing, given there's a fair argument that it sounds like a smug git from space. Only a couple ponoes who could say otherwise, and they try not to think about it.

I can just imagine Bow having to explain Warding Day. Then my mind shuts down in self preservation.

You magnificent bastard.

Corpses on her feet. That is brilliant!

So I guess it isn't just Rarity who's made of marshmallows.

If you ever read the fic, “The Marshmallow Problem” by Karkadinn on Fimfiction and saw Twilight’s reaction towards the end, I’d imagine she’d take Rainbows explanation the same way.

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