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Deep down, Pinkie Pie has always wanted a special somepony. When Rarity helps cheer her up, she starts to think a little more about the gem-loving designer.
What will Rarity think of this? And what does Berry Punch have to do with anything?
My first ever fanfic! Cover art by Liquid_Flames
Has RariPie and RainbowMac
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Well. I am surprised. Many 'first fics' have terrible spelling and/or grammar, often along with rather bad writing. This, however, is of a different sort, a much better one. I eagerly await to see if you will do RariPie justice. From what I've seen, I think you will.
2912762
Not bad. The story telling is a little jerky at points. You could work on fleshing the scenes out longer.
Gentlepony is an androgynous word. You might want to have used gentlecolt instead. That would make Twi saying Pinks wasn't a gentlecolt make more sense.
But yeah. Not bad. I'll keep an eye on it.
Oh, okay! Thanks for the critique!
I agree with the others for a first fic this is well polished. Certainly better than mine! I love this pairing.
Me want more, story good
The title reminds me of one of my stories! Diamonds and Butterflies!
3058605
Heh, really? Guess we had the same idea in mind at the time!
3061677 Great minds think alike!
3061874
I-is Berry Punch drunk?
3068228
Nah, she's just herself. I made her the 'villain' in this story, but I don't think she's like that in the show.
3069022 Still, there's no way this plan would work. Not only does Pinkie have an easily verifiable alibi, it is also verifiable by the pony she's using it on. Nobody with half an ounce of common sense could fall for this.
3069043
Rarity won't have an ounce if sense after she sees what happened to her Boutique.
3069199 Still, Pinkie was with her the entire time. On top of that, Pinkie is incapable of doing anything out of malice.
3069213
Still, Rarity will be pretty distraught.
3071459 Even so, who will she believe? One of her closest friends and all around nice pony, or a Vineyard owner?
YES
its a great story. and if you stop Rarity and Pinkie Pie will cry
3124576
Okay, I'll make a sequel later!
Starring these two:
And with these two for comic relief:
3124588 thank you very much
Rarity and Pinkie Pie are happy now
3124610
Epilogue at least.
You must make a sequel, or I will come into your house and cut you up.
3125462 3125978
Okie dokie lokie!
Rushed? Just a bit? But YES SEQUEL.
sigh* berry punch, your dumbass is showing
OMG this is sooooo good
guess who this is
SEQUEL! I NEED MY DASH AND MAC!
I liked this story, but didn't dash pinkie promise to not talk about something, then did? With no consequence?
A very nice story, it doesn't drag on which is good, and its well written. All in all great story
Interesting. I shall have to give this a nice review.
First, the negatives. It's short for a multi-chapter story. It could be relative in length to a one shot. And the story moves a little too fast. Also, Berry's plan, if you can call it that, is so bad, it would only make sense if she was drunk while coming up with it. Finally, I've never been interested in a second story with RainbowMac. I knew it would be in there, but the description promised one full story, and I got one pretty good story, and a second "meh" story. Surely, a "Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash tackles her own romantic issues" or something like that would have helped.
However, I must say that the characters are quite accurate. Pinkie is always the fun and lovable loony, and Rarity is the drama-queen we all know and love. And I must admit, the idea of Berry Punch, a background pony with no canon personality, as a competing suitor helps establish some conflict, even if it is only for a brief moment. I even like how you managed to show how the plan would really work: Rarity falls for it for a while, and then someone points out the absurdity, and Rarity gets over it. And Applebloom's lines at the end of the RainbowMac part of the story. Priceless.
All in all, not a masterpiece, but certainly two good stories about love and the hijinx that ensue. I give about... 4 hearts, and 3 mustaches!