• Published 20th Apr 2018
  • 2,457 Views, 80 Comments

Curriculum Vitae - Bookish Delight

Twilight Sparkle asks Starlight Glimmer to be the guidance counselor for the School of Friendship. Starlight, understandably, needs time to process this. And maybe a few strong drinks.

  • ...

5: Final Offer

The laughing, disembodied voice replied to Starlight's words.

"You think this to be a jest? You truly think such a creatively priceless idea could spring forth from the minds of mundane political bureaucracy?"

As the smoke came close to fully obscuring all three unicorns' fields of vision, it just as quickly dissipated, leaving a single new pony in the room. A blue unicorn wearing a purple cape and pointed wizard's hat stood on her hind legs atop the Cutie Map table, her forelegs raised in confidence. Fireworks went off behind her as she soaked in the attention of her new audience.

"Oh, yes! Behold as the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixieee orchestrates all of your fates! Good evening, girlfriends! And girlfriend," Trixie added, winking to Starlight.

"Trixie, get off the Cutie Map," Starlight scoffed. "We've talked about this no less than eighty times—also, wait. You're really the one who recommended me for the guidance counselor position?"

"Indeed!" Trixie said, hopping off the table. "No need to thank me, though the Great and Powerful Trixie does accept all forms of gratitude, regardless of reason. Or merit."

Trixie made her way around the Cutie Map, to Twilight's chair, and sat in it, propping her legs up on the table. "For you, Starlight Glimmer, there is so much that Trixie will do. Including taking time out of her busy schedule to break bread with Princess Twilight here," she said, gesturing a hoof to the pony she'd just mentioned.

Twilight walked over to her chair, and casually levitated Trixie out of it—then cancelled her magic with Trixie still in mid-air. A squeak, and dull thud, followed. "When drawing up the curriculum for the School of Friendship, it occurred to me that Trixie might be a good candidate to tap for drama and theater courses. Not to mention public speaking."

"Trixie figured she may as well," Trixie said, dusting herself off, then spying those exact plans in the corner of the room. With a single eyeblink, they were replaced with a simple tea set, complete with tray, kettle, and cups. "There are several social skills that Trixie possesses that many ponies simply do not." Ignoring Twilight's wide-eyed look of horror, Trixie simply pointed to the ceiling, where the plans balanced precariously on a single root of the room's tree-chandelier. "It only makes sense that Twilight would send for the best."

"Why did the rest of the world have to tell me?" Starlight said, watching Twilight visibly hiding an urge to hyperventilate as she brought the plans back down to the floor. "Why couldn't Trixie just tell me herself?"

"If it's anything like my school," Sunset said, "since Princess Twilight runs it, she has to be the one to micro-manage the big decisions."

Twilight nodded. "Exactly, Sunset. As headmare, the task of approaching candidates falls to me. Though I have to admit, I didn't think it would be this complicated a process. I mean, to all of us here, and even the Princesses, the reason for choosing you was completely obvious."

"I..." Starlight trailed off. What was she supposed to say? She'd already said all she could and accepted the position besides. Nothing anyone could say was going to change how she felt about the situation.

She blinked—and saw Trixie standing in front of her, muzzles nearly touching, when she re-opened her eyes. Starlight took a half-step back, though not out of surprise—she was simply used to Trixie doing this on a whim and had trained herself to react accordingly.

"Starlight." Trixie nudged Starlight's chin up with her hoof. "Do you remember when we met?"

Starlight tilted her head. "Well... yeah. I don't think I'd ever forget that," she said, completely meaning it.

Trixie nodded with a serene smile. "Nor ever will Trixie," she said softly.

Trixie faced the three ponies, raising her hoof in proclamation. "As Great and Powerful as she is, Trixie sometimes has had trouble... reminding herself of this immutable fact." That same hoof went to her heart. "Especially before she met her first, and best, friend."

She walked to a nearby window, clasping her cape close as she gazed at the stars outside. "As much as Trixie loves to deny it, she used to constantly look for approval in the eyes of others. Back then, it used to be not just a metric for whether she put on a good show, but... whether she was good enough as a pony."

She walked back to Starlight, placing her hoof on the other mare's shoulder.

"But you connected with me, Starlight, in a way nopony else ever has. You gave me a real second chance, when everypony else was too scared to. And you have always given Trixie the advice she has needed, the doses of truth she has needed, and the empathy and love she has needed, to make her feel that Trixie is still somepony worth being.

"Starlight," Trixie said with a bowing flourish, "your guidance has literally saved Trixie's life. Had you not taken so many chances on me, I..." Trixie sighed. "We might not be having this conversation. That is why I recommended you."

"I..." Starlight looked for words, but none came. There was only the rapid beating of her heart, the challenge to not choke on the lump rising in her throat. "Trixie, I—"

"It's true that I'm hard-pressed to think of somepony who's been through more emotional turmoil than you, in so many flavors, Starlight," Twilight said. "But, honestly, everyone in this room can speak to having similar problems."

Twilight walked to Trixie's side in front of Starlight. "Meanwhile, when the idea was brought to my attention, neither Trixie nor I could imagine anyone being a better fit, or anyone more deserving to be seen as a role model. We didn't think you were the best candidate because of the bad things you've done or been through. We thought you were the best candidate because of the goodness inside of you. It's that goodness that allowed you to push past all of those other things, to be who you are today."

"All across Equestria," Trixie said, "Trixie has seen the faces of sad foals that she can only distract with her magic shows. Foals that you can truly help, where Trixie cannot. No one wants you to be guidance counselor because of who you've been. They want you to because of who you are."

Starlight didn't bother wiping away her tears. More would have just replaced them in a matter of moments, anyway. Pesky things.

Sunset walked next to Starlight and placed her hoof around her. "Well," she said. "Now that you've heard everything... what do you say?"

Starlight thought for several seconds, then wiped her eyes and put on a smile—one large enough to radiate the pure joy and warmth in her heart. "Nope. Can't do it."

"What?" the other three said in unison.

Starlight's smile showed teeth. "Not without you girls as my counselors. I'm still a work in progress, just like you, and I'll always need ponies—" She looked at Sunset. "Or people, to be able to talk about being a work in progress with."

"Of course," Sunset said. "We're here for you. Just like we know you're here for us."

"Thanks, you guys," Starlight said, as all four unicorns shared beaming smiles. "Hmmm. So, I'm guessing this is where we do the group hug, huh?"

"Normally, yeah," Sunset said. "But, come on. We're all best girlfriends, and we haven't seen each other in weeks. There's got to be an ante we can up, somewhere."

Twilight gasped in excitement. "Want to make out on top of the Cutie Map?"

Trixie's eyes lit up. "Oooh! You've read this month's Harmony Nights, too?"

"Page 75," Twilight said. "I never miss an issue! Not gonna lie, a Cutie Map tryst never occurred to me until someone wrote about me and my girlfriend Rainbow Dash using the table to plan our next Daring Do convention trip." She blushed. "Since then, I've always wanted to try it."

"Ehhhhh, why not?" Sunset shrugged, then cast a lazy eye at Starlight. "Thanks to a certain somepony, I don't have any innocence anymore."

In sequence, Twilight, Trixie and Sunset teleported on top of the Cutie Map table, casting loving eyes towards each other... then looked at Starlight. "You in, Star?" Sunset asked.

Starlight looked at the others, weighing her options. Finally, she shrugged and chuckled. "Who am I to reject good guidance?" she said.

And those were the final words spoken before Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer fell atop each other, and made out on the Cutie Map together, like the best girlfriends that they were.


Comments ( 54 )



"Oh, yeah, hey, girlfriend," Sunset said, winking, and gesturing a hoof towards Starlight. "I brought your girlfriend."

"Thanks so much, girlfriend!" Twilight said, winking back. "How's your girlfriend doing?"

What are you doing, Bookish?

Good evening, girlfriends! And girlfriend

Bookish, Stahp.

like the best girlfriends that they were

I don't even.

Yes, indeed.

And those were the final words spoken before Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer fell atop each other, and made out on the Cutie Map together, like the best girlfriends that they were.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I like to think that this is what they do when the cameras not on them. :trollestia:

They're all just one happy herd.

I died laughing. No seriously, I died laughing and then someone had to bring me back to life and so the process repeated. But seriously, good stuff Bookish!

And here I thought you were messing with the wordplay in the other direction :p

It's a good thing there's noone else at work tonight, or my mad giggling would draw some consternation.

"But you connected with me, Starlight, in a way nopony else ever has. You gave me a real second chance, when everypony else was too scared to. And you have always given Trixie the advice she has needed, the doses of truth she has needed, and the empathy and love she has needed, to make her feel that Trixie is still somepony worth being.


And those were the final words spoken before Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer fell atop each other, and made out on the Cutie Map together, like the best girlfriends that they were.



Aaand there goes the fourth wall.

Eh, the writers knocked it down with the journal episode. Bookish is just dancing in the rubble.


This is indeed the most fabulous rubble I've ever danced in.

Now, if all these beautiful mare's were to bring a stallion into their group, who would be the best choice? Who could satisfy all these mares? I would say Big Mac, but I think being Applejack's brother disqualifies him. Sunburst? Rockhoof? Soaring? StarSwirl......:twilightoops:


8878092 I think you'll find "none" also works.

Fillies and foals?

Girls and children?


(nah I fixed it in Chapter 3 during my final pass but missed 5, thanks)

Beeeeeest friends! :pinkiehappy:

Also, Trixie's totally fabulous here. :trixieshiftright:

Oh my goodness I just absolutely loved this!

The ending I expected, and an ending I didn't expect.

Passive aggresive romance aside, this was a good Starlight fic that I can imagine must have gone on behind the scenes with her (emotionally)

Cool cool. Yknow, I once had someone firmly insist that foal was the right word for a boy horse.


passive agressive romance

so there IS a phrase for what I was reading just now! :rainbowlaugh:

Definitely enjoyed it though. Besides the word girlfriend hilariously reaching a point of oversaturation, this really did seem like a fun plot for another EQG special or something.

If you didn't notice yet, your comment is getting a lot of downvotes. Meaning that a handful of people have read your comment and decided they disagree with it but don't care enough to actually explain themselves. You got one reply from Carapace with the slightly more firm, "no."

It has been awhile since I've tackled this topic, so maybe you're new enough to simply not get it yet. Maybe you're of the mindset that your ideas are original, fresh, and new. Or something. So I'll offer the benefit of the doubt at least for now.

Y'see, there is this mindset that a small, but vocal minority of folks on the site seem to espouse. Many of them are pretty scummy individuals, with pretty obvious and odious agenda to push. I have coined a term for them called "hetshippers." They often can be found "innocently" voicing their opinion in story comments or forum threads, about how they just simply prefer heterosexual romances over homosexual ones. It gets obnoxious though when that opinion is phrased the way you've done here in this story comment section. While you may not realize the obnoxious component (benefit of the doubt) you're engaging in the same behavior as they do, so this response.

You see, if you read this story, what is it about? It's about Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, and Twilight Sparkle. With some additional supporting contribution from some other characters. It is a story about them because someone, the author, decided to tell a story about them.

Then you bring up your "innocent opinion." About some other hypothetical story. One of your own creation and imagination. A story that involves both male and female characters not featured in this one. Like Applejack and Rarity, Rockhoof and Sunburst. Further, you describe a tired old trope to base the story around, the "harem" story centered around one largely unobtrusive, shallow, and uninteresting guy simply serving as a male reader insert focal point, while diminishing the ladies to nothing but their attention to and competition over that male.

You want that, you write it. If you don't have confidence in your skills at writing, do it anyway. It's your story, you write. Your "oh so subtle" attempts to influence this author to write your idea are obnoxious, and unwelcome.

You might think to yourself, "well, it's just my opinion." You might even take that a half-step further and say that everyone is entitled to their opinion. Perhaps even some sense of "fairness" where all opinions are at least worth voicing in order to make decisions on them.

The thing is, we've heard your opinion. It's old. It's tired. It has been voiced many times over now. Media at large beyond the fandom has spoken, listened to, and acted on your opinion so many times we've all lost count by now. You taking your turn at the mic may feel like the right thing to you, but the rest of us have already listened to your forebearers saying the same thing, with the same utter lack of relevance or importance.

So, if you're merely innocent, and this is merely just your opinion, take a step back and reconsider your actions. Does your opinion really belong here? Is this really the most polite, neutral, and appropriate way for you to speak your idea? No. It has nothing at all to do with the story you're commenting on.

So, what'll it be? An apology, and maybe crack open the word processor of your choice to write your own fic? Or was the benefit of the doubt the wrong approach for me to take? A defensive response and revealing your fitness to wear the label would indicate that.

I can't tell whether this is a Deep Feels character piece for Starlight, or a silly, fluffy crackfic. :rainbowhuh:

You know, maybe it is you people who are the scum. You automatically think I have something against homosexul relationships. All I did was ask if a stallion was introduced into a group, who would be the best. In a group of fictional ponies. Maybe you should be looking at yourselves for jumping to such conclusions.

My question had nothing to do with my likes or dislikes. Does anyone actual read what is wrote? Point out to me where I said I had anything against same sex relationships. If fact, my favorite ship is Starlight and Twilight.

Not once did it mentions the Mares were gay, bi, or straight in this fanfic. I went at this thinking they were bi.

Did I, even once say I had anything anything bad about the girls making out with each other? I even posted earlier that I like to think they do that off csmera. Then I posted a hypothetical thing, which for some reason, people like to assume means I'm against same sex relationships.

I read the fic. Gave it a like. Then asked a hypothetical question about who these mares would like if this was a bisexual situation.

God, these hypocrites. Why don't you go f**k yourselves.

Understood. You've chosen "B." You wish to be never taken seriously ever again, and simply added to the list. Will do. I apologize for giving you the benefit of the doubt.

8879671 That's just the thing. You assumed they were bi. Bookish Delight is a rather talented writer. Don't you think if she wanted these characters to be portrayed as bi/experimenting/whatever, she would have done something to hint as such? I only read the entire thing, so I may be wrong in noting that there were no such hints, but perhaps I missed some subtext somewhere. I would gladly welcome you pointing it out to me if I'm wrong, however. I always welcome a literary discussion.

Wow. You, man, are the one with the problem here. Apologize for what.? Asking a hypothetical question that has nothing to do with personal choice? If these same mare's were written in another situation unrelated to this story.

Did my question say I was against the girls being together in this story? Did I say it would be better if they were paired with a stallion? I'm waiting for you to actually point out the problem with my question.

did you write a semi serious story about starlight growing as a pony just to sneak in a soft lemon scene of the best unicorns?

i'm gonna need more of that.

The story doesn't say anything about them as gay or straight either. So, just because a girl makes out with another girl, I should assume they are gay? That sounds like stereotyping. And biased against bisexuals.

I can neither confirm or deny my actions with this story--certainly not in light of the discussion going on currently--but let's just say that, hypothetically, if you liked that sort of thing, then it may or may not happen here round these parts regularly, and you know where the Follow button is. :raritywink:

8879755 You certainly shouldn't assume they're bi just because the author hold up a sign for it. That's not how this works. That's not even how real life works. That's not how any of this works.

You know that works both ways, right? I can't just assume they are gay either.

Does this author focus on same sex relationships? Because this is the first story I read from them.

8879762 There are far more context clues hinting that they're that than bi in this story. But hey, you do you.

Context like what? I'very seen nothing that I haven't seen in a bisexual story.

8879776 You mean aside from the members of the opposite gender being involved?

The absence of the other gender in a story doesn't necessarily mean a character is not bi. I've read stories that have an all male or female characters. Doesn't mean they are all gay.

Here is the thing. I did nothing wrong here. I put a hypothetical question that is outside the scope of this story, in a situation involving these same mares. I didn't say he should add that situation to this story. I didn't say the story would be better with this. I asked who you think this particular group of mare's would choose in another story.

Then some guy here comes along and says I am against same sex relationship stories and that I should apologize for how I took a story. That just pisses me off when people do that.

If you knew anything about the person, than you’d know that on several other stories they’ve expressed a fondness for TwiStarlight, and that they think the show even actively promotes it. Was the question off topic and pointless? Yes, but you’re the one jumping to conclusions that they're trying to push some sort of anti-gay agenda or whatever. All titanhades has done is ask a dumb hypothetical question. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re the asshole here.

No, they're all pony.


...Well! Poly after all.

So, uh, is THIS kind of friendship going to be taught as well?

This story was sort of a crack fic monstrosity with a side of polyamory...

good job.

Trixie is the fanfic author, isn't she?

A wonderful celebration of the amazing pile of insecurities that is Starlight Glimmer. And her amazing girlfriends. Wonderful stuff, and I love that Twilight reads the fan fiction about herself. Thank you for this.


Oh.Okay, not the Shimmerists who actually worship the Divine Bacon Horse. Got it.

No, no, them too.

You ever seen a Shimmerism Sunday service? Them folks be cray-cray

I wanted to do something on bad human anatomy in shipfics written by horses but I couldn't fit it in without it being awkward.

"No need to thank me, though the Great and Powerful Trixie does accept all forms of gratitude, regardless of reason. Or merit."

This is perhaps the best summation of Trixie's personality that I have seen to date.

Okay, now I'm just confused as to the nature of the use of the word "girlfriend" in this fic (and yes, I'm focusing on that because it's my biggest gripe, which means the story itself is great):
Are all four of them dating, or just Sunset and Starlight, and the others were using it as a joke?

I know I'm overthinking it, but I really want an answer to that question.

ASDFGHJKL x_x :heart:

That was scandalous. Disgusting even.

The map hasn't been yet certified for make-outs involving more than three ponies. The paperwork is still in the system along with a missing form and a very bureaucratic looking teacup.

Bad attempts at humor aside (on my part), this was a delight to read and I chuckled a lot with it. Thank you for the story.

...sure why not?

Girlfriend in this context means a friend who is a girl.

Comment posted by superfun deleted Aug 27th, 2018
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