• Member Since 13th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

DarkenedMoon


Who's this 'PixelMoon?' Fool, We are the DarkenedMoon, here to bring SCARY FUN to ALL!

T

Twilight's life has just fallen apart. With basically nothing left, she's forced to move out to Ponyville just to be able to afford rent. It's there that she makes a powerful, but dangerous friend named Rarity.

Rarity is one of those sorts, who lives for indulgence and breaks rules simply for the sake of breaking them, rumors even go as far as to claim she's a vampire. Twilight had always avoided such delinquents, living her life by all the rules up until now. And yet Rarity is different. The things she says makes sense, and the forbidden pleasures she offers Twilight are beautiful.

And slowly Twilight begins to wonder whether Rarity is offering her corruption or enlightenment. She wonders how far she'll let Rarity pull her along. Hopefully not enough to become a vampire.


Story originally by Epsilon-Delta but was deleted from this site. Permission was given from Epsilon to reboot this story and continue it.

Popular 5-20-18

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 60 )

Yay it’s back I am responsible for the cancelation and revival of the story

No pressure okay :twilightsheepish:

Take your time in redoing this I just hope applejack is not an A**hole this time

Vamponeeeeeeeeeeez :twistnerd:

8935426
Well she got scared after I ask too many questions about the story i think I put too much pressure on her

8935443
Oh my. That is not what she told me when I asked her for permission. At least you aren't the reason then!

nice work.

I missed this story! good to see it's up once again!

So will this reboot be just like the original up to the part where it was canceled? Or are you allowed to take liberties and change it up to your liking?

8935733
I am rebooting the original version, adding some parts and taking. After the whole original version is completely up, I will be continuing with my own writing.

8935760
Don't suppose you need some help? I'm willing to offer my support...

8935771
Writing and or story planning.

8935774
Maybe with story planning once I get through the first 70,000 words.

tracked the original, will track the reboot

I liked the original was sad to see it go, hope this is just as good as it was before.

Don't think I have ever read the original, but I like this so far very much :pinkiehappy:

"Twitwi?” Twilight asked under her breath. She'd read about nicknames like this. "Yeah...don't call me that."

lol

just to make sure she didn't blow her one real shot at a friend.

Because, as we all know, if you fail to befriend Fluttershy, you're not allowed friends anymore.

Her public yelling, her disregard for safety and social etiquette and her general devil-may-care attitude made her the single most wild pony Twilight had ever seen.

A blue pegasus dressed the same way, down to the sunglasses and leather jacket

So what else was Pinkie wearing that the similarities could be 'down to' the sunglasses and leather jacket? That's all Pinkie was described as wearing. I vote a polka dot tutu and a pair of clown shoes.

“The boss.”

The build up to the reveal would be a lot more subtle without the picture and story description.

“That word is highly offensive!” the earth pony said. “The lame have feelings too, you know.”

:ajbemused: "Weeooo weeoooo this here's the fun police, y'all got yerselves a permit fer havin' fun?!"

They said the l-word and the d-word. And then you hugged in public. That's all, you know, bad and stuff.”

I can't help but wonder if this is somehow a commentary on how delicately thin skinned people are getting these days.

“Well it is!”

“Why?”

In this AU Twilight has been nerfed down to the dumb one :twilightsmile:

Now for the typos.

Maybe it was because the fact
because of the fact

Twilight get off the train
Twilight got off the train

was rather uncouth thing to do casually
was a rather uncouth thing to do casually

on a cloud day
on a cloudy day

“Pfft! Look Pinkie. Dashie nudged
"Pfft! Look Pinkie." Dashie nudged

she just oozed elegance and grace.
Elegance and grace are synonyms.

this promoted Rarity
this prompted Rarity

So there they were, out and outcuddling in public.
Needs a space between the second out and cuddling.

Then she started walk around Twilight
Then she started to walk around Twilight

Rarity giggle a little.
Rarity giggled a little

I won't mention the 's thing because that one always confused me and it might be correct.

I find this Twilight rather relatable. I'm the same exact way when it comes to arguments and the bit where she went crazy with the candy and coffee was more or less me at a wedding once. There was free unlimited soda and I went ham. Must've had like 30 or 40 cans of the stuff, no joke.

This will take me a min to read lol.

“Relax, darling.” Rarity patted Twilight on the back. “I was only joking about that part. But in all seriousness, if there's anypony in town that you wish would take notice of you, then you need only tell me. I'd have them worshiping the ground you walk on in a blink of an eye.”

“A pity.” Rarity rested her check on her hoof and looked Twilight over mournfully. “Well if you ever do just point and I'll make him worship the ground you walk on. Thunderlane? Come dance with Twilight for a while.”

Uuhh... what? Repeatus deletus maybe?

I feel like this story is a metaphor for drugs :duck:

A nice clear cut chapter showcasing dismissal, disbelief, doubt, desperation, distraction, and finally... a decision.

Very well done! :pinkiesmile:

Twilight had been hugged before of course, by her parents. She got hugged by them once a year, on a holiday where it was traditional to hug your foals. Even then it was quick and awkward, something you did to get it over with and shuddered at the thought of. That was how normal ponies hugged. Well, either that or in a very dark room with your spouse, never to mention said hug again.

What even is this version of Equestria? :rainbowlaugh:

Also I was just about to go to bed, and then you release two chapters? :facehoof:

“Join us, Twilight! Being one of us is great!”

:rainbowderp:

ornate tomb or her.

for her (?)

and her her glowed.

I believe you mean her horn

]Pinkie nodded.

:]

“Why doIlike you?”

Did she start talking like, Pinkie speed, or is that just an accident?

Also really nice chapter

Everyone, get yar shovels and pickaxes, we goin' deeper!

twilight a strict budget

Missing capital

Nightgaurd

guard?

Also nice chapter, man you're fast.

a forleg around

foreleg

That stuff leads ponies to kill, Twilight.

Yeah... And guns kill people. Applejack, that statement is so wrong...

“Like what makes you think they'd even want to hang out with you, huh?” Applejack asked. “Some shy, nerdy type with no social skills rolls up into town and they want to shower you with attention, hang around you every night, spend all this time slowly bringing you out of your shell? I get why you act like a filly, but you really think those three are the understanding type? That they'd waste their time on somepony like you?”

Applejack is just dumb. By saying this, she pushes Twilight away from her. Just sayin' that this could be handled very differently, in a better way :applejackunsure:

Because you're not cool like I am.

O please Twi, you makin' me cringe rn

Oh? But I thought I was so boring and socially inept that nopony would ever want to be my friend!”

HAHAA, YES, using her own logic against her, I'm so proud of you TwiTwi

With that resolve, Twilight went looking for his address.

Is this foreshadowingshipping?

Plot:twistnerd:, they really aren't vampires!

Onwards friends, we must dig deepe', and unravel the secrets t'is story holds in it's core, maybe 'e can find som' treasures on tha way dawn!

Oh my god, she is so precious! :rainbowkiss:

It'll just make it all the sweeter when she finally (hopefully) falls. :trollestia:

There are times in this story that Twilight is so relatable it hurts. :facehoof:

At any rate you seem to be on a roll, pumping out these chapters. Good for you, good for readers like me! :pinkiesmile:

Jesus, what is this, third chapter in such a short time!?
Well, I'm certainly excited!

“Oh!” Realization suddenly came to his face. “You're, uh Sunset Shimmer, right?”

... I'm not gonna even

who bramble was.

missing capital with Bramble

“Basically what I know about history, literature, math and all that is exactly nothing!” Clear Skies said with a proud smirk.

And why in the FLYING **** ARE YOU PROUD OF THAT:twilightangry2:

“Hey, look! I'm still doing my coolness training, okay?!” Twilight threw the door open and turned around to face the other ponies. “But next time you get a comeback from me you're all gonna be like 'oh snap'.”

Daang, coolness training that's so cool...

Twilight was glad she came here if only because it made her realize that. It was so obvious! Your average pony was just so boring and dense. She needed the excitement and challenge that Rarity and her gang gave her. That was where Twilight belonged and that was where she'd go instead of wasting her time here.

And now she is almost if not already fully willing to join.

And she was supposed to go meet them in the woods tonight. There was no way Twilight was going to miss that now. But first there was something she needed to get.

Hmm...:trixieshiftright:

You just had to release this as I was going to sleep, didn't you?
Anyways!
*krhm*
We 're almoost to tha coor lads, keep diggin' and minin' deepar!

9027304
Also yeah, I agree with that relatableness

Just wondering have you started to finish this story yet

9028859
So why have you started posting chapters so fast

Comment posted by Kuunlehti deleted July 6th

Twilight trotted deeper into the forest, through the fog and darkness.

Starting off 'good':pinkiecrazy:

The crickets were so loud tonight, it was strange. That'd didn't mean a monster was nearby, right? No, if that was some kind of sign it would have been in that pamphlet everypony got about dreadstalkers. Twilight was just being paranoid again.

Nice, acknowleding your own flaw.

“Let's just say somepony tried to play a mean prank on us,”

Hmm... something about mud or water...

Twilight wasn't even concerned about the fact that this had been in Pinkie's hair a moment ago. Apparently that just kept it fresh.

It's just her personal pocket-dimension where time stands still, so everything is fresh like that when they're pulled out

Rarity could could just

Repeatus deletus

“Or something, yeah,” said Dash, casually knocking the sunglasses off of Twilight. “Sorry, Twi, but you're not cool enough to wear sunglasses at night yet.”

Yeah, you don't have an enhanced eyesight Twi. Yet.

“Do you want me to make them shut up, Twilight?” Rarity asked.

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

“Bus isn't a curse,” Pinkie said.

Depends. Almost anything can be made a curseword.

Great, she somehow heard it.

Pinkie power!

“B-buck.”

Hmm... I've always wondered this... Applebucking is you know, that what Apples do to their trees to get the apples fall. Now if buck is a swear...:trixieshiftright:

Twilight's heart stopped, her breathing stopped, everything stopped for that moment! She felt like she'd committed some unforgivable crime, some part of her waited for Celestia to show up and light her on fire.

"Twilight, you have committed crimes against Equestria, how do you plead?"
I wish I could link the video I'm referencing but sadly, I think it's not SFW enough. Maybe. Props to anyone who get's the reference tho. I'm not quite sure so I'll leave it unlinked

But instead she got applause. Pinkie and Dash stomped their hooves and cheered. Even Rarity slowly clapped her hooves together. Twilight couldn't help but smile. It was such a huge relief that nothing happened. Of course nothing was going to happen, but nothing actually happening was different than knowing nothing would happen.

Wohoo! Achievement unlocked: Descending deeper.

doofus!

Such language!:fluttershyouch:

Twilight nodded. She kind of did, actually.

She learned to ventilate her anger. Nice.

“Cutie Mark Crusader vampire hunters!” shouted someone lousy at sneak attacks.

Hmm... safe job you have there

Dash effortlessly flew high over the stream aimed at her then came down like a bolt of lightning, kicking the squirt gun out of her hooves. Pinkie, meanwhile, had made a game of bouncing around as the other filly tried to shoot at her, twirling about and laughing at every missed shot. She actually looked a little disappointed when Dash knocked the other squirt gun away.

Dash deals with it quickly. Pinkie juat wants to have her fun and so desides to humiliate... whichever of those three it is. No wait. Two. Right. That happened. Hmh.

This time it was a gray unicorn who came charging forward. “Vampire Hunter!” she screamed.

So there still is three.

So you want to murder ponies for a living?

Yes, absolutely!:pinkiecrazy:

“It's holy water,” said Dinky. “You'd burn up the second it touches you.

Aaah, the mud, it makes sencd now.

And just so you know, we never even intended to kill you. We were just the distraction!

Best distraction ever

Twilight saw a flash of blue light and just like that understood why their meeting spot was soaked. It was a water stone! Twilight had never seen one in person, but had read about them extensively. A single water stone could summon gallons and gallons of water in short bursts, enough so that entire desert towns could survive on the water of just two or three of them!

Never...mind(?) about the mud being holy water mud

But then Rarity's horn glowed.

The deus ex machina of this story, Rarity.

“Shall I drop you in the mud, Applejack?” Rarity called over to her.

into the mud

Applejack just continued to grunt and struggle, though much harder than before.

“Well?” Rarity lowered her just a little bit more. “Last chance to say no.”

“Y-you can't!” Applejack spat back at her.

Rarity hesitated for a moment, before instead throwing Applejack onto the island of dryness.

Wait a second... :duck:
So is Aj a vampire too? Alujack? Applecard? Hmm...

And at this point I lost my writings, GOD DAMNIT!!!!
So I'll have to do another comment for the rest of the chapter...

Well, let's see where this goes, shall we? :trixieshiftright:

I warn you, I don't remember my original rections to all of these if any, so... yeah.

“What the what was I doing?” Applejack pushed herself off the ground, glaring at Twilight as if she was the one who had just done the attempted murder.

Seriously?

“That's what I'm afraid of,” said Applejack.

Sick(?) roast

“a monster."

Now this is playing in my head.

“For your sake I hope it is!” Rarity called after her.

For our sake, I hope it isn't! :pinkiecrazy:

“What? That you're vampires?” Twilight remembered her vow. “Er- bucking vampires! If you are vampires you're at least not going to, uh, be retarded and kill me right? Cause I'm too bucking pretty to kill.”

Smooth as glass TwiTwi. And I mean glass like this

“Killing you is pretty low on my agenda, I'll admit,” said Rarity. “But I meant our house. I want to show you where we live."

Nice.

I feel like my digging joke is getting a bit bland.
Welp. Let's get going, the new chapter is already up as of writing this.

What happened to the original? I loved that story, even if the ending was.... less then fantastic. How much has been changed? Did you pick up where the other left off or did you rewrite everything?-

9031649
The original got deleted, I haven't changed anything except spelling errors, and I'm not at the part of where the original author left off. When this story gets to 70,000 words estimated, then it'll be caught up to the original.

Well that was adorable. :twilightsmile:

9031649
I never saw the original, but honestly I'm fine with that. This is good enough on it's own, whether it follows the original or not.

9031662
I wish there was a Track, but only after 70k words option on here. XD

9031649
Ending? Last I recall it didn't really end, it just stopped before the Final Chapter could be made.... or is my memory wrong and I missed an update?

9032132
No, you are correct. Check out the story on FIMFetch.

9032132
The last chapter I mean.

9032289

I would suggest changing the last chapter that I posted. It was bad and I did intend to change it significantly way back. That said, I disowned the whole thing so you can do whatever.

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