• Published 19th May 2018
  • 2,834 Views, 72 Comments

Corruption - PixelMoon

Twilight Sparkle finds herself being led to question things she's never questioned and try things she'd never tried by Rarity. But slowly Twilight begins to feel like she's being corrupted, and begins to wonder if Rarity is a vampire.

  • ...

Chapter 16

Twilight awoke the next morning feeling a lot better. She yawned and found that the three had gotten out of bed already. Panic filled Twilight's body for a moment, but calmed down when she heard Pinkie called her name and headed towards the source of the voice.

True to form, the others were eating candy for breakfast, cupcakes and one of those cereals that had so much sugar it was basically candy. Pinkie was considerate of Twilight's dietary needs and made pancakes and eggs with banana slices for her instead. So at least Twilight didn't have to worry about dying from vitamin deficiency if she decided to live here.

Twilight was shocked at how luxurious everything was. Rarity didn't just splurge on that bed, she had the best of everything in this place. The furniture was top quality, the food was top quality, even the bowl Twilight was eating out of was top quality. It had little gold tacking on the side of it, making a vine-like pattern.

They'd shown her their library, which was far more massive than Twilight's. Rarity had collected a large volume of books over the centuries, enough to almost be a library in its own right. Many were old and rare, possibly even one of a kind, given some were hoof-written, from before printing presses were common. Above all else, Twilight looked forward to getting to look through this treasure trove of knowledge.

Rainbow Dash had a room with four guitars and a couple hundred albums in it. Pinkie had a baking room stuffed with baking supplies where she did 'horrible' baking experiments. In every direction you turned, you'd find something astounding.

On one of the tables laid a small bag of gold coins, just sitting there out in the open like it was nothing, and to those three it probably was. Twilight had read a book about coins once and recognized them from that. Each one was worth over 2000 bits and the bag must have had at least a seventy of them. It was several times Twilight's net worth, but just something you left lying about to them.

She almost felt a sting of jealousy for a moment, that they could have just so much more than she ever would, but it quickly faded. Twilight could have this, she really could! She could have wealth and friends, time and security and even more. All this just because somepony cared about her.

The only barrier was her fear and ignorance. Applejack's warnings about being a prisoner in her own body and how Rarity could never really love someone like Twilight were burned into her mind. And then there was the fact that Twilight knew so little about vampires and what living with them would mean. The second problem had an easy solution, at least.

“So, uh.” Twilight took a bit of her eggs and chewed it, looking over the vampires she was having breakfast with. Really, the strangest part was how casual it was. “I guess I should ask what the vampire rules are? There are vampire rules, right?”

“Hm. Well let's see.” Pinkie stuck her spoon in her mouth and flicked it around with her jaw as she thought. “Going into somepony's house uninvited is a big no-no. That makes you burst into fire! Holy water and anything Celestia-shaped burns us. Silver and sunlight makes us lose our powers. We're okay with garlic, though. And uh... what am I forgetting?”

“The good stuff?” Dash offered. “You stop aging once you become a vampire! Suddenly life doesn't have a time limit anymore. Vampires don't get sick and we heal from any wound that doesn't kill us and it takes a lot to kill us. You got a fifty fifty shot of surviving decapitation, even.”

“And then there's the other powers,” said Rarity. “The older you get the stronger your charm becomes. You've felt it, haven't you? It's not that you get more beautiful every year, it's the other ponies simply see you as more beautiful.”

“Okay, that's the first thing I have a problem with,” said Twilight. “Or at least I think I have a problem with it. Isn't that a little like mind control?”

Twilight didn't want to say it out loud, but all this morning she had a creeping fear about Rarity's charm. What if the only reason Twilight liked her friends was because she was being mind controlled? Slight it may be, but it would still make her feel cheated in a way.

“I'm not entirely comfortable with it myself,” said Rarity. “It's the reason why I rarely take my true form, even though these two beg to see it so often.”

“I do not beg you to do it,” Dash rolled her eyes, but then added in a mutter, “just kind of ask you to sometimes."

“I admit it!” Pinkie nodded and stabbed her spoon into her cereal. “Rarity is so amazingly beautiful like that how could I not want to see it? And it feels great when her charm is sinking it's fangs into you.”

Twilight had to agree with Pinkie that it felt great to be under Rarity's charm. Maybe as long as it was temporary and consensual, then it really wasn't too different from a hug.

“But when I'm like this.” Rarity swiped a hoof across her beautiful self. “Really I have no more mind control than all the other beautiful ponies in the world. Of course pony's want my attention, to do things for me, but that's true of all pretty mares, isn't it?”

“What about hypnosis? I heard vampires are supposed to have that. I also heard that-” Twilight braced herself. Here was the big question, about what Applejack's book said. “-well I read this book, you see?”

“Did Appledork give it to you?” Dash asked.

“Yes? It's, uh 'The Only Official Guide to Vampires' by Granny Smith.”

“Twilight, that book was written by a serial killer!” Dash slammed her spoon down over the table and leaned over the table. “Granny Smith murdered like sixty people, half of them weren't even vampires. Are you seriously going to trust a deranged ax murderer over an actual vampire?”

“Well you said to test and question everything, right?”

Rarity nodded. Dash conceded she was right and slumped back into the chair. Pinkie Pie held up her bowl to drink the last of the sugary milk inside.

“Okay, uh. Well first of all it said vampires do kill ponies,” said Twilight. “It said you sucked out the blood and soul of other ponies, burning them up for energy. The book didn't say anything about this.”

Twilight pointed to the last piece of candy on Pinkie's plate before she popped that into her mouth.

“And I bet you've only seen evidence to the contrary,” said Rarity. “We only eat sugar and never in my life have I killed another pony.”

“Yeah, you've seen us eat plenty of candy before,” said Dash, “but you ever once seen us be like 'oh, hang on a sec while we go hack this guy to pieces'. Just look at how much sugar we got in this place!”

It was true that their pantry was filled with nothing but fruits, candy, bags of sugar, bottles of syrup and honey and all manner of sweet things.

“Indeed,” said Rarity. “The evidence that we're right is all around you, and the only thing on the other side is that someone wrote something down on a piece of paper.”

“Well, that and the fact that ponies are turning up dead,” said Twilight, “like Applejack mentioned.”

“And like you mentioned that's because of the dreadstalker,” said Rarity. “Those deaths have been investigated, Twilight. I'm sure Fluttershy can tell if something is really a dreadstalker.”

“And hey, how do we know you didn't do it, huh?” Dash jabbed her fork at Twilight.

“Well-! Okay, I guess you have a point there,” said Twilight. “There's one more problem the book mentioned, though. It says vampires, like when they make a minion that minion is under the direct control of its sire. The book said it was to the point where you don't even get to move your own body any more. You're just stuck inside yourself.”

“If that was the case there'd only be one vampire controlling all the others, wouldn't there?” Rarity asked. “And yes, there is an 'original vampire.'”

Twilight wanted to hit herself in the head. Why hadn't she thought of that? Though, then again that was only the case if there was an original vampire. Twilight needed to ask about vampire history later, find out where they came from.

“And do me and Pinks really look like mindless drones to you, Twi?” Dash asked.

“Yeah! Would a mindless drone do this?” Pinkie set down her empty plates and ran over to the couch. She jumped up onto the back of it, laughing, then stumbled and fell to the ground. “W- whaag! I, uh, meant to do something else.”

Twilight watched Pinkie pull herself back up. That was strangely convincing.

“It is true that you share a mental link with anypony you create,” said Rarity. “The two of them have a direct connection between their minds and my magic. As a far older and more powerful vampire, I could influence their thoughts and actions very strongly. Though all of us share a mental link with the original vampire as well.”

“So then you admit it?” Twilight asked. “You really could force them to do what you wanted?”

Rarity wiped her mouth, got up and trotted over to Twilight's side. She put one of her hooves on Twilight's cheeks.

“Twilight, I could bash your head into oblivion with one slap.” Rarity gave her a very gentle one instead. “But I would never do it, because I love you. Just the same, I could easily force my fledglings into doing my command, but I would never want to do that. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are my beloved sisters, not my slaves.”

“Yeah, it's more like being a changeling,” said Pinkie, “but without having to do all that gross bug stuff! We can kinda feel each other's emotions a little, that's all!”

“I'd know it if Rarity was trying to force anything on me,” said Dash. “And for the record I wouldn't like it. Don't think I'm just some pushover, either. You ever see me stumble over, looking like I'm in the middle of a mental battle, well then you have my permission to punch Rarity.”

“I suppose the bottom line is I can't prove for certain they aren't mindless drones,” said Rarity, “at least, not any more than anyone can prove they aren't a murderer. But as I said, I'm not asking you to make the decision now. I'm not even letting you. Just watch everything we do carefully and learn what you can about mental links and then decide. You have as much time as you want.”

“That could work.” Twilight nodded to herself. It was pretty simple, actually. It'd take a long time to get to that level of mastery, but once she did Twilight could be fairly certain if they were being mind controlled.

Though only fairly certain. Twilight would only really know for sure if she actually took the plunge herself.

“Any more questions?” Rarity asked.

“Endless amounts!” Twilight assured them. “Like, uh. What's even next? What about that vampire princess you mentioned? Who is she?”

“Can't tell ya!” Pinkie shook her head. “I mean, I know who she is. Met her even! But can't tell you her name.”

“Yes, I suppose that's the one thing I forgot to mention,” said Rarity. “A vampire can't reveal the identity of another vampire. If hypothetically, you knew another vampire I wouldn't be able to tell you they were a vampire. I wouldn't even be able to hint at it too much. The best I could muster is to warn you if their intentions weren't very good or something like that.”

A part of Twilight thought about that. Those three warned her about Applejack a lot, didn't they? But she couldn't be a vampire too, could she? They also said something about Applejack being hurt badly by a vampire...could that be it?

Twilight pushed the thought to the back of her mind for the moment. Besides, she had an opportunity to learn more!

Author's Note:

At this point of the story is where I am starting to change a few things about this story. The original author gave me permission to change what I like about this story, and I plan on using that to my advantage. The next chapter well be most likely the same, but soon it will change drastically.

Comments ( 22 )

I'm genuinely interested to see what you come up with. Looking forward to it. :pinkiesmile:

Did Rainbow Dash have a Celestia Bobble head in her hoof? How did that not affect her?

Maybe certain Celestia-shaped items have to be infused with her magic?


If you remember in chapter 10 whenever Rainbow Dash came over to Twilight's house to listen to each other's music, the scene with the bobble head, look at what Dash says closely.

Then she remembered something she had sitting in the window, that Celestia bobble head Applejack gave her. Twilight smiled to herself. Maybe she could have a bit of her own fun.

“Okay.” Twilight thrust the Celestia bobble head at Dash, shaking it in front of her face. “Take this!”

Dash had no reaction to this at first. Then she very slowly shrugged at it. “Welp. Guess I'm dead now,” she said. “But don't go driving a stake through my heart next, thanks.”

The two of them laughed.

“But seriously, if we're gonna hang out you gotta get rid of that thing.” Dash motioned to the bobble head.

“Get rid of it? That's exactly what a v-” Twilight stopped in the middle of her sentence when she saw Dash's smile widen. “You're playing with me, aren't you?”

“Well that and I don't like Celestia, if you haven't gotten that through your head yet,” said Dash. “She's a heartless jerk and tyrant. Garbage like that belongs in the trash.”

“Rainbow Dash! How can you talk about the princess like that?!”

“I dunno! How can Celestia not care about anypony but herself?

“Because she's the only one who's immortal!” Twilight recited the answer. “At the end of the day Celestia's the only pony who matters. Everypony knows that.”

“Ugh! I didn't come here to talk about politics!” Dash put a forehoof on her head in dispair. “But we can at least agree that superstition is dumb, right? I'm surprised you're scared of throwing out a piece of plastic. It's not even a good picture of Celestia.”

The bobble head didn't look exactly like Celestia, so it didn't burn her.

Thanks for catching that. Feels like an odd loophole, but I'll roll with it.

So, found this story a few days ago, read it up to the latest chapter and I really enjoy it do far. Shades of The Lost Boys early on.

Oh no... The dreaded Hiatus tag! :raritydespair:

It'll only be until I finish to of my other stories, so don't worry. I Will not abandon this fic.

if you aren't planning to finish this any time soon, could I ghost write this for you please? I really want this story to continue, and I can write a lot and fast


We could always just like, have everyone write their own ending and then compile them together to make it like the ending of Clue.

For my own part, I'll give anyone reading this permission to continue the story, so long as you start diverging at or before chapter 16 as it is here. So long as that's not gonna ruin Pixlemoons fun. I did give him dibs or whatever.

it failed submission, they wanted me to put more paragraph spacers in. so I did, and hopefully it passes now. It's my only story, so it should be up veryyyyy soon

So..... is the story dead?


Well if you want you could always finish it yourself.:derpytongue2:

I'll sanction any ending you come up with.

I could offer my assistance in planning out the ending if you need help....

Huh. I was so desperate for more of this that I went and followed the link for the original fic. I don't think I've read an ending so viscerally dissatisfying in years. It was just very... mean-spirited. Huh.

So yeah... I'm really hoping this gets continued. In a different direction.

Seriously, though, this is great. The picture this story paints of Equestria is simultaneously hilarious and dark, and there were several laugh-out-loud moments. The murder mystery in the background is just enough spice to keep the stakes high, because it's impossible not to root for the moral decay in a society where snuggling is taboo.

nice work on all chapters so far.:twilightsmile:

The original author came back and is posting a new chapter every weekday: Final Corruption

do more chapters I like this story so far and I won't to see more of it:heart:

You can always go here.

TFinal Corruption
Twilight's smart enough to have nothing to do with Rarity and her gang of delinquents. But as her world view is challenged and as Rarity takes interest in her, slowly Twilight finds herself getting closer to Rarity and becoming a delinquent herself.
Epsilon-Delta · 148k words  ·  384  14 · 5.8k views
Login or register to comment