Corruption: Third Edition

Everfree Vampire4 stories ·5 members

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Epsilon-Delta

Epsilon-Delta #1 · Nov 14th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

You should probably note that this is another alternate ending/continuation, since I think Pixelmoon still intends to finish theirs.

fanreader999999

fanreader999999 #2 · Nov 14th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

An eye for an eye makes the world go blind, therefore you should shut up and let me gouge your eyes out.

KittyPaw

KittyPaw #3 · Nov 15th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

9293311
what? lol

fanreader999999

fanreader999999 #4 · Nov 15th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

Rarity took control of the story again to continue. “You see, Applejack’s melodious friend was after revenge. She knew about Granny Smith’s murder spree as a wannabe vampire hunter, and set up the perfect, most poetic revenge for that. She requested Applejack specifically sell at her show, and charmed the girl into loving her. Then, she took her new toy back to Granny Smith’s prized orchards, and consumed everything she had spent her life building. She killed her family in her trademarked style: drinking all of the blood from their body. But that wasn’t enough for her, no, she wanted more. So, instead of killing her now useless toy, she decided upon the ultimate revenge for the apple family: to leave the last member alive, forever, so that they would always know what they had brought upon themselves.”

A single vampire wipes out an entire vampire hunting family so we're supposed to accept vampire Rarity cause... Rarity is a "good vampire"? Thats it?

KittyPaw

KittyPaw #5 · Nov 15th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

9293688
oh, having read it again, I need to be more clear. I mean that paragraph to describe applejack's entire tale. And the point I'm making is that applejack's entire basis for not liking rarity and trying to convince twilight to do the same is rooted in something completely unrelated to rarity herself. If you have a suggestion for how I can integrate what I'm trying to say, please, go ahead

fanreader999999

fanreader999999 #6 · Nov 15th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

9293796

Quite frankly, I don't even know what you're going for.

Partly because the original story isn't yours.
Partly because Applejack's story is so loaded, anything Rarity says is pure bullshit.
And partly because this is just one paragraph. There are other issues with the story.

KittyPaw

KittyPaw #7 · Nov 15th, 2018 · · · Part 17: Honesty I ·

9293994
Maybe you don't like my direction with the story, and that's ok. I don't think applejack was being mean just because she herself was mean. I don't think rarity is evil, and, to be fair, neither did epsilon. And while this is built on a story that isn't mine, so was PixelMoon's. Feel free to not enjoy my work, but I'm not writing it for you, I'm writing it for myself.

Starlight Nova