These things are important to ponder.
Sunset Shimmer cupped her hands over her mouth, exhaled deeply, then glared at Starlight Glimmer who was currently looking at Sunset with honest confusion while eating a muffin they purchased at the mall they were currently frequenting.
“Starlight, you can’t just kill people.”
Starlight took a delicate bite of her muffin, her body adjusting to the metal seating arrangements in the food court. “Why not?” she asked as she looked around. “And it’s not like I haven’t done it yet. I was just asking.”
“I’m just―” Sunset clenched her jaw and her fists simultaneously “―why would you even ask that?” She gnarred. “Why is that a logical question to ask for you?”
Starlight looked up. “Now you’re making the question complicated.” She presented her palm while taking another bite of the muffin. “You’re assigning logic to what could be argued to be inherently irrational neuronal firings that are justified ad-hoc in a futile attempt to bring meaning in a fundamentally animalistic and meaningless―”
“Starlight Glimmer I will slap you in the mouth,” Sunset said through clenched teeth as she pointed an accusing finger at Starlight, who slightly recoiled at the viciously vigorous finger-pointing.
“Hey now,” Starlight said before a nervous chuckle, “I wasn’t the one who brought logic into this.” Her gaze danced between the muffin and Sunset’s very angry face. “If you want to ask why I queried about whether or not killing is permitted here, that’s fine. However,” she continued as she took another bite of her muffin, “if you want to travel down that philosophical portal, that’ll―”
Sunset slammed the table with an open palm which jolted Starlight’s attention and caused her to gulp her muffin bite. “Focus!” She then leaned back into her own chair, put a fist to the bridge of her nose, then took a deep breath. “I just want to know what led to you asking if murder is permitted here.”
“Oh, no,” Starlight said as she wagged her finger, “I’m not falling into that trap again.”
“What trap?” Sunset growled.
“Murder is a legal definition assigned by court of law.” Starlight rubbed her forehead. “Killing is something completely different.” She set her muffin down and stared dead-on at Sunset. “Whether or not killing is considered murder involves a healthy litigation process and a jury of my peers.” Starlight then smirked. “I’m perfectly aware murder is not permitted, which is why I asked about killing.”
Sunset looked up at Starlight, her chest expanding and contracting as she licked her teeth. Starlight had a look on her face that suggested that she won. What she won was up for debate.
“Are you messing with me?” Sunset asked.
Starlight pursed her lips and grabbed her muffin. “What do you mean?”
Sunset rubbed her hands together. “Are you seriously suggesting that there’s a legitimate difference between killing people out of pure whimsy and murder?”
“Legally there is.”
“Sweet Celestia, I’m going to kill you,” Sunset said as she looked away and cradled her chin. Starlight raised an eyebrow as she took another bite.
“So, um,” Starlight asked, her mouth full. “Does that mean it’s okay, or…”
Sunset activated her amulet. “I need to check something.”
“By all means.” Starlight swallowed the masticated muffin bite as Sunset touched her skin, the latter’s eyes going white for a second.
After a moment, Sunset’s eyes regained their color. She paused for a moment, then eased back into her seat, her breathing now even. She rubbed her forehead as Starlight took another bite of her muffin.
Starlight bit her lip. “So how was that deep dive you did there?”
“Well, um,” Sunset said.
“Well, um?”
“Um.” Sunset rubbed her face. “The people on this side of the portal are real and aren’t constructs of your mind.”
Starlight’s eyes popped open as she swiveled her head around. “W-what?”
“Yeah.” Sunset waved her hands around. “This is all as real as Equestria.”
“How is that possible?” Starlight fired off as she put her muffin down, her face creasing. “I mean―I never…” she trailed off before locking eyes with Sunset. “I faced down a ten foot monster without magic and it was real!” She scratched her head under her beanie. “I just felt so disconnected, and clothes popped on, and I got to be the hero and…”
“And what?” Sunset asked calmly.
Starlight started shaking. “I thought this was some kind of Funtime Fantasy Land! I mean, there’s analogues to everyone I know! How is this real!” She said as she punctuated her words with table-slamming, attracting the attention of passerbys which grabbed her attention.
“Starlight, calm down, you’re attracting attention.” Sunset rubbed her wrist. “But what is real, anyway?”
“W-what do you mean?” Starlight asked like a suddenly naked person.
“I mean, who knows if any of this is real?” Sunset asked as she leaned onto the table. “Who’s to say that some outside force isn’t feeding signals into our brains as we’re strapped into―”
“Arcane brain-massaging devices?”
Sunset cocked her head as Starlight presented a nervous grin.
Starlight giggled. “I’m drawing up a preliminary design for one right now.”
“Hmm.” Sunset pressed her lips together. “So maybe traveling through the portal transported you to a future where you perfected this device, yes?”
Starlight exhaled, then regained her posture. “And since I’m weaving ethical limitations into it, killing someone except in specific circumstances would cause the simulation to malfunction!”
“Sure.” Sunset grinned.
“And… and…” Starlight raised a finger. “If I disrupt the simulation, we wouldn’t get to hang out!”
Sunset leaned back and smiled. “Whatever works for you.”
“You know, Sunset,” Starlight said as she picked up her muffin and took a large bite, “you’re the best simulated friend I could ever have.”
“You know, I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before,” Sunset said with a chuckle, “but I can accept that.”
“Good,” Starlight said with her mouth full, “because if you didn’t, I might have to abort the simulation.”
Sunset hummed contentedly.
Great ponyfeathers, Sunset thought, that mare is absolutely bonkers.
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LOL
I actually understood that reference. And I may as well say this since no one else has yet: Goddammit, Syeekoh.
Anyway, another fun read as usual.
8464739
I’m glad you enjoyed it.
And I suppose someone had to say it.
Sunset should be grateful there isn't a relish fork nearby..l
Glimglam may be crazy, but so are most mares.
8464756
Most likely, yeah.
8464757
I like to think that everyone would be crazy to everyone else if we could read minds.
SciTwi is absolutely retarded.
Starlight is absolutely bonkers.
...
I'll accept it.
8464769
Oh my god I didn’t even make that connection.
That’s great.
8464770
As far as I'm concerned, this is part of the Beanisverse. Startlight might not like that part of the simulation.
8464778
I mean if you can work this into accepted Beanis canon, that’s fine with me.
8464770
Would you mind clueing me in on the joke? I want to experience the greatness of that as well.
8464784
I can’t show you because it’d link to M rated content, but if you go through my stories, you’ll find a story with ‘Beanis’ in the title. Your journey starts there.
It's a completely reasonable conclusion to reach.
If you're a bicycle.
8464791
I mean Starlight’s a bicycle, right?
Goddamnit, Syeekoh.
You know,i got here via related stories somewhere else. Didn't even think about the author or what i was getting into.
And here i am, again at the end of another Majinsterpiece
8464795
Just keep it coming.
8464790
Imma go check it out.
Also, we are not allowed to link to M rated content in the comments? I might have to read the rules for this website again, I don't remember that one at all.
8464796
Majinsterpiece.
I like the sound of that.
8464781
Goddamnit, Syeekoh. Now I'm thinking about things.
Needs comedy tag. Pretty Damn funny
8464781
Also:
fucking lol
8464801
Not in the comments of a story that’s not M rated, no. That would be against site rules.
And this is technically SFW.
heh. this reminds me of something...
I recently read that popular fic about the diamond dogs digging up gems for their human masters, and I wondered how equestria girls would factor into the sci-fi world the author had created. one of the things I thought up was that whenever a pony entered the portal they went into a matrix-type simulated reality where they learned what it meant to be human.
the other thing I thought up was that it was time-travel + shape-shifting and that the ponies who went were trying to prevent the bad future from getting worse.
8464814
Huh. That’s interesting. We must be on the same wavelength, then.
Good story!
Past a certain point, it's quicker just to explain why killing is bad and forbidden than to ascertain if Starlight's serious or not.
I am afraid you may be missing a speech mark at the start of this line:
This explains so much about Starlight's time in the human world. Brevity was definitely the soul of wit here. Thank you for the new headcanon.
Um...this thing called the mulitverse theory, Starlight. That most people know. Infinite realities with infinite possibilites. Example: a reality where Hitler cured cancer. Don't think about it.
8464823
It probably is, yeah, but I think Sunset was just flabbergasted when Starlight started diving murder and killing.
8464835
I didn’t expect to create new headcanons with this story. That’s always an unexpected surprise.
8464839
Most people, sure.
8464793
At least a bicycle.
I know this has probably been said already in the comments but, Goddammit, Syeekoh.
8464930
It’s fine, keep ‘em coming.
8465005
…yeah.
They gave me the position at 4:30 PM Saturday when I was on my way to the liquor store for rum.
8465009
I can’t really write when I’m intoxicated because I need a clear head to organize my thoughts.
…nicotine, maybe? But I don’t think you want a smoking habit.
i need to know what went through your head when you wrote this
8465104
…it seemed like a good idea, honestly.
when i got to the end, this was all i could think of
sunset shimmer as:
media.vanityfair.com/photos/57fea8e56d65c9f44d47fde3/master/w_768,c_limit/westworld-episode-3-ss02.jpg
and glimglam as:
i.ytimg.com/vi/6Rntz_hoqDI/maxresdefault.jpg
Huh, well alright then.
8464804
Think like the wind.
Also yeah I’m a little surprised as how often the phrase “Beanis canon” has been coming up as of late.
8465152
Hey, you write two internally coherent stories, you create canonicity. It's all your own, damn fault.
Carry on, please.
As for this one, I somehow see Sunset storm the liquor store the instant she comes of age. That, or she goes on a rampage the when she realises you need better paperwork to get bourbon than to go to Canterlot High.
Entertaining story, as usual. You are spoiling us, and I'm OK with this.
I have no other words.
But... why?
My head hurts.
Good thing Sunset brought her down from that idea. Just imagine what Starlight would do to a simulated Sunburst, where she thinks she can perform any fantasy without consequences...
It's real, Glimglam. You're just a psychopath.
8465628
she has trixie for that
So... she already did it?
Still, an astute observation at the end there, Sunset. Way to go. Try not to shatter her world view any more, else she might show you how bonkers she can really go
8465109
no no no its a good story honestly but its one of those that left me asking wth have I just reed :D
8466025
I seem to get that reaction a lot, honestly xD
I can easily see Trixie walking in on this conversation and walking away scared out of concern for the insane girl. LOL. Sunset has learned well from Pinkie. Just roll with it and don’t question it.