• Member Since 18th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen May 30th


I write pony words that people seem to like. I also review fics and draw purty pictures, apperently. I'm an older fan of MLP, so expect a lot of 80's references.


This story is a sequel to Homework is a Real Kick in the Dick

Having added new features to her Beanis Brand Sexual Aid and Information Injector, Twilight Sparkle decides she can kill two birds with one stone by combining product testing and researching. However, the data transfer speed is a little underwhelming. Not wanting to spend another long night in the lab, Twilight calls on the aid of her friend, Sunset Shimmer.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 60 )


<commences to read>

I guess this is exactly what I was expecting. How soon can FimFiction be delivered in this manner?

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

What the hell.


I haven't even read it, but I already hate you based on the title alone.

Dammit, Fuzzy.

They could even make use of the several natural access ports to deliver some sort of brainkakke worth for sticky hot data!

Goddamit Fuzzy :facehoof:

“Yeah.” Twilight’s voice got quiet again. “Splattered my insides with diagrams of magical field theory. Squirted myself full of potential usage outlines. Creampied a load of amplification suggestions into my baby chamber.”

GODDAMIT, FUZZY! :rainbowlaugh:

I think you too just lost any rights to "Goddamit, [author] :facehoof:" with this one.
Worth it, though :rainbowwild:

Next episode of the Beanis Saga must involve SunLight, for the gods of shipping demand it!! :pinkiecrazy:

Ok, this whole beanis concept is stupid and I absolutely love it!

Why have you done this...
The Internet of Things is the Internet of Shit!

God DAMN it Syeek- wait a moment....

I'm hoping this makes it into Beanis-canon. If the fact that there can be considered to be "Beanis-canon" at all isn't too horrifying.
and not just for the SunLight


Now i wonder why this sounds so familiar :rainbowwild:

-also insert obligatory "dammit fuzzy!"-

Would it become fannyfiction then? :trollestia:

Pictured: Me, basking in all the 'God damn it!' comments;
-1945 colorized


Would it become fannyfiction then? 

I suppose it would depend on where you stuck the beanis.

Why the hell do I follow you people?

So far, I’ve only been able to theorize that I have set of very peculiar predilections.

Peculiar predilections for penile (bean)paste-pumping paraphernalia? :derpytongue2:

Are there any plans for a "Beanis-verse"? Anyone?

We're already way past that point. Hell, I've even snuck in a stealth beanis.


That's the best thing I'm going to hear today. Home and dry.

This is honestly the most I've ever enjoyed a SunLight story. It was also the follow-up the Lemon Zest data transfer story needed.

...Shadowbolts LAN party?

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver


…Shadowbolts LAN party?

Oh my god, that would be amazing.

8563401 I hope so!

Though I don't actually have any idea what the plot would be beyond that; are you getting any inspiration juices?

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

Honestly, no. I think I’m burned out in general for a bit.

I gotta just kick back and recharge for a bit before I immolate myself.

8563489 This I quite understand :twilightsmile:

Maybe if Fuzzy is doing NaNoWriMo it's the sort of thing he might be interested in looking into to add a couple of extra thousand words to his total :unsuresweetie:

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

Perhaps so, but I wouldn’t want to pressure him into doing anything he wouldn’t want to do.

8563503 No indeed. Maybe the idea just needs time to come together and stuff.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver


Knowing Fuzzy, though, when he sees this we might get this by next week.:rainbowwild:



…Shadowbolts LAN party?

That sounds kinky. But just imagine the possibilities once Twilight gets the compression down to where she can install DOOM on/in a Beanis. Gives an old meaning back to daisy-chaining.

8563583 :raritystarry: Every single weapon would be a Big Fucking Gun...

Someone's gonna want to be old school and blast from both barrels, though.

I'm not even touching the difficulty level 'Knee Deep In The Flesh' :facehoof:

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

Oh my god that double entendre.

I don’t know whether to hug you or kill you.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver




Ah, dammit. You did it again, Syee...Wait...*checks by line*

I blame you both equally.

Now here I am wondering if Sunny caught the three words or if she said them!

Not to mention the fact that I have images in my head now.

Goddess, I need a shower before I get near a keyboard.

Use plenty of hand sanitizer.


Not helping. And working at a restaurant, I’m already in the habit.

And no jokes about women in restaurants. We get enough as it is.

And Sunset has officially gone over to the dark side.

I did my decade in the food service mines. You won't find me mocking those still in that hell.

In her defense, they DO have cookies!

I finally got into management, so I can expel those that grab my ass now.

And have time to write when I get home. Speaking of...Shadowbolt stories call....

Management in hell is still hell, but hey, good for you!


That should be "patent pending", but otherwise, fun story! Two hooves up! :D

Well.., that was a bit less jokey and a LOT more erotic.

Still a great read. This universe... we need a story with all of the girls talking about this.

That’s what I told my wife when we were dating...,


Soon, the enterprise will rise up and take over life as we know it!

I will except nothing less than an entire plot of these two slowly falling in love over the glory of the Beanis told in the story of repeateded sequel one shots each more ridiculous than the last!

If you’re cool with that... and it wouldn’t be too much trouble... please?

I'm sure Majin or I will write more Beanis based silliness soon enough.

just commited a terrible sin: i increased this story's upvote count from 69 to seventy.

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