Very Sleepy
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8337907
Seeing as people view the official show having basically made zebras into African equivalents, I'm not surprised they got stuck with the portrayal they have now.
It was a rather typical fantasy for African Americans in porn long before MLP even came around.
Considering the tags and the author's usual fare, I don't believe you.
You really should have read it.
FoE ripoff
8338262
Maybe, but without the cut horns and plucked wings, so far as I care, MUCH better.
8338262
You know Fall of Equestria doesn't hold a patent on any idea that seems somewhat similar to it.
And no... I didn't actually even give FoE any thought when I was typing out this story.
8340234
Hey, if some folks sport, grow or get stripes by the end of this, I"m totally okay with it.
8340234
Interesting considering the directions you've went. If I had to guess this is going to end up like one of those interracial porn comics where the white woman gets a good BBC and leaves the white guy to get drunk in his own filth while becoming a black (or in this case Zebra) slut. I see no issue with this for some odd reason.
I like it. Looking forward to more
Eh? I'll be honest...I didn't like it. Now that's not to discredit the author at all.
One of the things I din't like was the character of Zed. I'm not sure what the
author was trying to go for with him as I guess it's supposed to replicate the
bbd fetish. However, I feel he's just an asshole who's taking advantage of a
crisis situation so he can have sex with Cadence.(another thing about the BBD
fetish that I find wrong in this story is that Zebras are normally smaller in that
area and even though the fandom and show have linked them to africans...
just because they are African culturally, they are still zebras biologically.
Another thing I personally didn't like was the choice of partner that Zed had
sex with. I don't care if it's a fetish, OCs cuckolding characters is still annoying...
especially when it comes to characters like Cadence since she's an alicorn. I felt
that there were a lot of other choices of mares that could have been bred with
(Like Derpy for example) because then it could have softened the blow of the OC
having sex with them.
The last thing I didn't like was the fact that Zed got away with it. There wasn't really
much conflict at the end...where Shining could be skeptical of Zed. I mean, yes...there
kind of is tension when both Shining and Cadence are nervous but as soon as Zed's
unrealistically large cock comes into play, game over for Cadence and Shining. If fact...
I'm pretty sure that potion they talked about was complete bull...and was only another
excuse for Zebra's to impregnate Mares...which kind of makes me hate the Zebra in this
story.
Again, I do not want to discredit the author and if they continue writing pieces like this,
even though I'd not like it and not read it, I'm sure that there are many who will and
really enjoy it for the fetish value, the actual sex scenes themselves which I thought were
nicely written. But...because of the points I mentioned, I'm gonna downvote it. I'm sorry.
8346899
It's quite alright.
For one thing, believe me when I say I'm not a fan of OC's in much of anything in the fandom. In my writing I avoid using them myself whenever I can but use them if I have to. In this story's case I wanted to use a zebra and no such official character exists in the show.
And yeah, I knew going into this that it'll be a set of fetishes not many people would like. People certainly don't like it when the 'bad guy' gets his way and gets away with it, most of all. It's safe to say a good majority of the dislikes on this story are from people who simply don't like the adultery kinks... but I wouldn't exactly be publishing stories like this if I was bothered by my like to dislike ratio.
8348265
Thank you for understanding. I wasn't really trying to be too negative but I
think I may have come across that way. Like I said, I'm sure there are many
people who'll enjoy it because of those reasons, I'm not going to judge
anyone based on a fetish they have.
I hope you continue writing as, even though I didn't like the subject matter,
the actual writing was good. Though, I do have one suggestion. I would
suggest that not all the Zebra are behind this way of "helping" Equestria
because the last thing we might need is a story depicting all members of a
race to be assholes. I'm not gonna complain if you don't use that, however,
since its your story.
Well then, personally I look forward to seeing more chapters with other wives. This story has certainly fed my guilty pleasure.
8350443 Fuck this cuck shit.
8351044
well, you probably could have said it in non offensive way...
8358225 Cuckery is for the weak.
8358260
maybe...but if that's the case, why'd you click on this story?
8358282 Surfing through clop, disappointed to find out what this was.
8358295
Oh...I see.
Next chapter?
So, when can we expect the next chapter?
Well, lets see where this goes... Hopefully with better explained background/reasoning/methods behind things than what NCN put on "canon" Fall of equestria.
Also guessing that they SHOULD have red the contract...
Not yet pushing either like-button... Nor judging anyones fetish, since all have something "in their closet".
This was a fun read :) Hope you keep going with it.
8685463
Not dead. Just having the usual problems of writing clop and being in the mood for writing.
(His ball tightened up against the quivering member) That poor basterd only got one ball
Man... what a day to be uploading a chapter for this particular story...
...I'm beginning to think Zed and his folks are up to something...
This whole story reminds me of this:
8735297
I think you're just being a bit paranoid.
There's nothing shady going on here. The contract they signed even said exactly that!
8735534
Suuuurrre. ;P
it would be kind of funny if cadence turned shinning into a mare so he could join and getting mind broken in the process then zed become there master and take the empire for the zebras while cadence and shinning are the new kings cock sock brood mares
8736879
With a changeling Invasion it will soon turn into a running gag cease to be fappable but laughable. That being said very sleepy very good chapter and looking forward to more.
Given how few couples are available, I was expecting a basic sequel and done. Going the 'zebra domination' route will certainly add longevity. I'm curious to see if you try to balance the initial premise against a more common 'forceful takeover' story, or opt soley for one or the other. One critique; Cadence's utter lack of suspicion really tested my suspension of disbelief. Yes she's kinda drugged out, but still. "Let's round up all of the guys, you know, for safety". *Smile and nod* lol. Twighlight would be a potentially hilarious side-story here, taking a complete bookish/learning approach to being kinky.
Is the story commission is that why it took so long to update
I want to like this chapter, I really do.
But it's just too all over the place.
At least Shining suspects something this time. But I swear, this seems to be going more and more into OP Gary Stu territory. Zed... I hate him, hate him with a passion. He's just so perfect and this world seems to be based on a "All women love rough sex with big dicks," trope. I expected more, to be honest but I know you're writing the stuff you want to write(which is okay, and respectable). I really wanted to like this story and I'm sorry.
I really enjoyed the clop parts in the earlier chapters but... even with her being a little drugged its way too obvious what they're actually doing and i doubt an alicorn like Cadance would just accept this. Heck, Celestia and Luna would be suspicious as hell.
If you haven't noticed yet, all zebra names begin with the letter "Z", just like all griffon names in the show begin with the letter "G".
Please tell me there's another chapter coming!
8856477
There is another chapter, but it's a bit of a change of pace as before.
Do you think we could get some side chapters talking about the other princesses and their interactions with the zebras?
It would be a shame if this mysterious disease turned all the stallions into mare's for the Zebras.
Wonder why?
Now to be fair, he's drunk.
... What?
Oh dear.
Ah. That's bad.
Oh dear.
This relies heavily on porn logic.
There have to be female physicians. Have them take blood samples, see what they're dealing with, see if there's any virus or infection or whatever that acts similarly.
8856309
I DID notice that.
Here is a philosophical challenge for those that dare: How many moral reasons can you give in favor of reproduction? Now how many can you give against it? Remember that you have to be consistent in your reasons. That is to say, If you think the reason "because you want to/feel like it" is legitimate then everything someone wants and/or feel like doing must be moral.
Well the subjugation of the white-I mean pony males is coming along nicely. This reminds me of Z-Book.
8857345
I reckon the males arent ill. Its obviously the zeebs doing but i think the reason that one stallion is in a collar is because he might be immune to whatever the zeebs ars trying to do
8857014
Well all the males do have the symptoms of morning sickness all of a sudden
8858232
If I'm honest, no I don't think I can give moral reasons for the support of this kind of reproduction, as this breaks the trust and bond that a wife and husband are supposed to share while turning as many people(in this case mares) into nymphos who can only be satisfied by Zebras due to the fact that in this world apparently every mare is dissatisfied with their husbands before the Zebra show up. I don't care if this is a porn story, I don't care if it's a fetish story, this idea and how it's written are going against every single moral and guidelines I often see for writing and... that's bad.
8858232
Ethics are spooky. A better question would be, "Why should I want to reproduce?" to which I have to say you shouldn't because if we keep reproducing then eventually a new Hitler will be born--and we don't want another Hitler, do we? Also, humans just suck, I mean, like: War? Man-made extinctions? Climate Change? Dumb people who don't leave you alone because you're something they don't like? I mean, c'mon; you know it; I know it: Humans suck; stop making more humans.
8863968
But marriage is the foundation of domestic violence (I'm not saying you want domestic violence, btw), and I'm pretty sure we can agree that domestic violence is unethical, right? So, imo, marriage isn't morally justified anyways--and historically speaking, it was never about trust, it was about property rights and reproduction, which turns this back into a discussion about whether reproduction is moral or not. And marriage is an often hierarchical social construct and hierarchies don't justify themselves.
I mean, if the situation is non-consensual, I'd see the issue (being the absence of a union of egoists, since I want society to be organized along said lines so people can actualize their egoistic desires, like the totalitarian that I am) but I don't see how polyamory or open relationships betray the trust of partners anyways. So, I mean, so long as the exchange is agreed upon by all parties and can be opted out of at any moment--if you couldn't opt out of it at any moment, that'd be rape, and not many people like being raped, and I don't like seeing people being upset, so it'd be egoistic for me to eliminate rape--without major consequence, imo, it should be considered fine.
And I see the question of ethics itself to be kind of useless and spooky (in the Stirnerite sense), since ethical systems generally speaking rely on circular logic and create an unjustified hierarchy over the mind. An ethical system is ethically justified by itself, making it circular in nature. I can't find any non-ethical justifications for ethics. One could argue they're necessary for society, but I disagree, because as someone without an ethical system, I still behave in ways that ultimately benefit others; I like seeing people happy because it gives me stomach butterflies and a sense of accomplishment; I like helping people and I like being respectful. I don't see any need for ethics whatsoever.
Regardless, society doesn't justify itself; the concept that we should act in accordance with the stability of society is based on a value system, and I've never seen any value system that doesn't justify itself without circular logic. I can't find any non-value based justifications for value systems other than the egoist one which, in it of itself, is kind of circular, since egoistic action itself is seen as a virtue. But, if you use that justification, then it comes down to wants and nothing more. What if I don't want society to exist (this is purely hypothetical, btw; of course I want society to exist)?
8863855
I'm inclined to agree.