- Member Since 13th May, 2016
- offline last seen April 17th
TheOneWithoutAName
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TheOneWithoutAName
Joined 13th May, 2016 ·
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interesting story so far, I hope there will be consequences for little timber for having sex with a timberwolf, maybe some odd STD's . Looking forward to see more.
Cute story
Great start, very sexy if low key, and yeah, eager to see where this might go.
8227295
Da-fak?
I'm loving this so far!
8227535
Unprotected sex often results in STDs. It's not something that shows up in these sorts of stories too often. But, it would be funny as hell to see Timber come down with something. Maybe a little wood rot? Some mildew that won't go away. Something along those lines.
Huh. Never in a million years did I ever think that this would be written. And because I loved almost every second of this, there are, objectively, some things blatantly wrong with this story that I feel you should be aware of. I don't normally comment on the stories I read, let alone give them reviews, but I feel like, what with this being so awesomely unique, I should give my two bits, as it were.
The pacing. While I enjoyed this story, and I know that this was intended as smut, but the pacing was downright atrocious. This might be an awesome idea, and it's meant to be smut, but even mindless smut needs to have at least some decent pacing. You just went from zero to eleven with no logical steps in between them. As much as I loved the concept, the execution wasn't all that great. As for the whole grammatical side of things, you're pretty good in that regard. Not perfect, as I found a few errors, but decent enough. The descriptors and writing style weren't fantastic, but they weren't bad, either. They were just... well, good. Not a good as in "oh, that's good!", but rather, "Eh. Yeah, it's good, I guess."
Really, your main and blatant problem lies within your pacing and flow. It just feels like you were excited to write this, and forgot to make it at least somewhat realistic in favor of just jumping straight into porn. The porn itself was nice, and fleshed out to be a pretty decent scene. It's a shame you put more thought into the sex than you did into the buildup, because it's clear that you're trying to make some kind of story out of this, if the ending and the "incomplete" tag is anything to go by. So really, this isn't just mindless smut, which makes your pacing and flow problems even worse. None of it feels natural. It feels like you just plopped a colt and timber pup into the same scene for the sake of sex alone. A reader shouldn't feel that way.
Anyway, I just wanted to give you the rundown in hopes of you writing better chapters in the future, as a lot of other people are probably just going to treat this as something to jack off to, nothing more. Blunt, but mostly the truth. I know this review might seem somewhat negative, but I really did enjoy this story quite a lot. I just feel like you could have used constructive criticism instead of blind positivity.
Welp, thanks for the story.
+1
This story will give the term 'morning wood' a whole new level.
Also, a rather discomforting thought: Splinters of wood getting in the way during intercourse. They are a pain already on every other part of the body... But if the genitals are getting messed with that, this calls for reconsideration.
Quite the interesting read. I am definitely looking forward to a continuation of this, should you happen to write more.
8227295
The concept of consequences is interesting, considering no one has done a timberwolf before. At least in this story. And I have read story about Fluttershy getting more timberlike after a few months having sex with them. With moss and all. I'm not thinking about STD in that case, but the question if it would affect Timber is an interesting one.
8227767
I really appreciate your honesty and critique. I honestly would have never guessed that the pacing was off. I just have trouble to see such things. I'm honestly better than it comes to the pure clop scenes than it comes to the rest and really developing a story. That is why this story is a good way to actually hone my skills in that regard and improve. Though I have trouble coming up with a solution for it now. I mean, I set the scene for why Timber is there, so that he could be alone for a while and get a grip on the situation with his fillyfriend. I guess I mentioned the puppy could be abandoned, though I'm not sure how to best set up the meeting between them. I am open for suggestions in any case, if you are having any ideas.
Also then it comes to unique stories. This isn't the first time I tried a female animal in a bestiality fic. I have also written one with a female black panther and one with a female Owlicious. The latter one even interestingly enough is the one where the idea for this very fic was developed. Right in the comment section Loveless and I discussed it. Just to give also some background information about how this story came to be.
8227914
Her insides are leafy. And not some thin kind of leaves. More some pulsing fleshy kind of leaves giving the colt a rather nice and soft feeling. So splinters shouldn't be an issue!
8227937
Well, I have developed a few ideas with Loveless, and we have ideas for the first three or four chapters. Rough ideas, but ideas nonetheless. Still needs development though. The first chapter was simply to see how you guys would receive such a unique story. Well, unique in the sense that timberwolf clop always is about male timberwolves rutting mares.
Splinters
+1
What an absolutely odd story... color me intrigued.
It got featured, congrats.
This bloody site, I swear to whatever is out there... it will never stop amazing me.
is this gonna be another one off chapter or is there more i dont tend to read storys from people that dont finish them
8228321
Interesting factoid, since 2013 the number of 'Everyone' and 'Teen' rated story submissions has steadily declined by 50% but 'Mature' submissions is virtually the same. Cloppers are the most loyal users of this site
8227295
The most common STDs are virus based and those don't usually jump from one species to another as the DNA makeup is so different. So you see, interspecies sex is less dangerous! And less pregnancy risk!
8228928
I will finish it. That's the plan. Especially considering quite a few people would like to see this continue.
....what....what did I just read?
This is the first time I have seen this kind of fic.....
Do go on! Please for you have caught my attention..
well this is.....interesting?
8229148
i just see you have alot of storys and people who get bored of one tends to start another and then leave the rest to burn on the back burner
Awww, this looks awesome
8229149
A clopfic on the internet
So now that has been establiashed, will he just hide her just to get some relief once in a while, or is he actually going to form a genuine relationship despite the risks and his naivetity?
Also if the Timberwolf pup will be sticking around would she just be okay with things regardless or will she want more out this?
Possibly she could end up being frustrated that they have to hide, not being able to show public affection, viewing herself as burden to him, and later finding they are not compatiable genetically. Despite her many attempts. Then there is the fact due to her magical reforming nature she may outlive him too.
Maybe Wolfie even feels inadequate due to the species/language barrier and wants to make herself look and act more "ponylike" to please him.
Maybe even somehow convincing Timber to give her a "makeover" through his whittling skills into ideal shape. Though he himself might have some reservations about such a thing.
Would Timber himself have regrets regarding his part in taking advantage of a wild animal? Especially once he learns of such social taboos and things related to concent.
Then there is the fact their coupling could bring aboit sideeffects both good and bad for them both. What with it being Equestria, a place full of odd magical occurrances a plenty.
Yet here I am asking some really uneccesary questions regarding a clop story. Oh well. Musings aside, this a clop with interesting if odd premise. Well as for what instigated things I mean. Could use a bit more build up for scenes, but otherwise not bad.
I hope in this story they don't only think of him as weird, but as well as a chance for Ponies to somehow be safe from being eaten by Timberwolfes in the future.
I'm not sure how to say this, but I would love to see this from a different angle, maybe Timberwolfes are one of the species that would slowly develop a smarter existens in the future. ( I had to think of Mass Effect right now, where the maschines kind of always only kill those races that already reached a certain level.
ah yes okay, hhhmmm I guess now it depens on how they view Timberwolfes, more as the regular kind of animals or a magical race, which is sadly a dangerous one too.
8229427 It sounds like your thought go into the same direction as mine, even if you probably described it better.
Pretty good so far. Good story idea added with a rather good clop scene, and you my friend have just earned a fav
The first ever female Timberwolf clopfic story has begin!!
I enjoyed reading this. The story has a good base to start from and the Clop was icing on the cake. I'll be keeping an eye on this.
8227295
Splinters.
Will there just be vaginal sex? or oral and anal too? I hope he sticks it up her ass next
8229856
Lets pray there will be more in the future!
8230839
I don't think she have anal. Seeing that Timberwolf have no digestive system left alone prostate.
8229427
That would be a epic thing to happen in this story XD
Being would he could probaly carve her into a less intimidating shape.
say no claws, sharp teath and ect. If this were to happen though it should be temporary.
8230318
Screw you for that
Umm... Interesting idea.... I'll see where this goes.
Me being me I could see a sequel to this or something. His former fillyfriend trying to get back with him or something which leads to whatever the plot.
Have not seen this combo before look forward to seeing this story plays out.
Well, that's one way to Tame a timber wolf
8232562
I'm not sure wich is worse
Wow I'm not gonna lie this is curios and interesting! Can't wait to see what else you come up with!
It is things like this that make me recover my faith in humanity and that it is truly great.
I really hope you continue it
8234018
As long as you don't put your faith in me. I have some rather intense and sometimes also dark smut written. So I'm not the best to have faith in.
Anyway, yes. I have some outlines for the following chapters and also know where I want it to end. It just needs some working here and there. But there will be more of it.
8234032
I wonder if it is as intense and dark as some things I've seen (and faped) that would give some people nightmares (something about a maid and MEAT).
I have only seen one thing involving a female timberwolf, and it was a Vavacung piece with a paragraph of 'story' to accompany it. Not quite enough to call a written work though. This...this made my day. Looking forward to future chapters
8234167
Vavacung = Loveless. So he also had a hand in this since he pretty much talked about that idea as we both developed it.
8234217
I was unaware of the connection
any other stories the two of you are working on?
8234232
No. Just the one idea here. Have still other stories in the work, so I'm limited on time anyway.
8234251
Well, looks like I'l just have to wait and see. And follow. And lurk around every corner wait in for new chapters
Loved It!!
I have never been more unprepared for a sentence than this right here. Honest to God, it made me stop and take a moment to fully process what I just read before I could continue.