• Member Since 13th May, 2016
  • offline last seen October 2nd

TheOneWithoutAName


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Comments ( 21 )

Shes never done it with a stallion before, so how would she know when he asked her if pony cocks satisfy her?

7580883 Going further into that statement, she's probably never done it AT ALL.

7580883 Haven't actually read it yet, but the male asking such a question is not likely interested in an informed dialogue. He's trash talking her. And I'm assuming he has no deep knowledge of her sexual habits. ^_^

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7580912
True enough, but were I in her place, I would be annoyed by him assuming that. And, oddly, I'm not really into trash talk. Usually.

Just a suggestion about the content tags/warnings: Saying "consensual rape" is kind of like saying "human-on-human interspecies." It doesn't really make much sense. You probably want something more like "dubcon," which is where it's dubious whether or not the consent is legitimate. For instance, Celestia calls Twilight to the castle and says that she'll renounce her as a student if Twilight won't have sex with her (indicating a lack of consent due to being threatened into it with something she values), but the story goes on to suggest that Twilight actually finds the situation exciting (indicating that she may be taking the chance to do something she wanted to do anyway, or even that it might be roleplay between the two). This leaves it ambiguous if she agreed because she actually wanted it, or if she really didn't want it and only agreed due to the threat. Hence "dubious consent."

It's not some kind of huge problem or anything, just a suggestion to make it a little quicker and involve fewer spoilers. The story description leaves it vague enough that people might want to check the warnings in case it's something that they're not interested in, and having something like "It's not really rape, because she does want it, but they do kind of pressure her at first" kind of spoils how things are going to go down in the story. "Dubcon" typically gets the idea across without having to go into any detail. That said...regardless of which you choose to call it, I'm not sure this really qualifies. Yes, there was a little pressure, but I think you made it pretty obvious early on that she wanted to try it, was into it when it happened, and was satisfied with it afterwards. So it never really felt like it was even edging towards non-consensual, at least to me.

Anyway, as for the story itself: The dialogue and dirty talk got a tad repetitive at times, but aside from that it was a pretty fun little read, and the scenario you set up really worked well for the cumdumpster concept. At least, it seems far more plausible (and flows better as a result) since you established at the beginning of the story that Rainbow was aware that griffons mated that way, gave her a far more realistic reaction to initially seeing it (thinking that Gilda might be in trouble), but then remembering what Gilda had told her and getting interested. A lot of other fics just kind of have the character randomly getting dragged into some public gangbang because "uh, reasons?" without any real setup. That can make it kind of jarring, and when something is jarring it tends to pull me out of the story. Not that there's anything wrong with mindless clop, of course. It's usually just not my preference.

So...yeah. A few things here and there that could probably use some polishing, but an enjoyable read overall. Good job.

7581255 well, in this particular story she was overwhelmed. In my head canon Rainbow Dash would mimic Gilda in that she'd trash talk right back, and give as good as she gets.

7581439 It would be kinda sad, actually.

*taps fingers together evilly* Excellent!

7581255

thtiger is right with his statements. The griffons don't know and just assume she has mated before. And at that point in the story she doesn't care about anything else than the pleasure.

7581273

Just a suggestion about the content tags/warnings: Saying "consensual rape" is kind of like saying "human-on-human interspecies." It doesn't really make much sense. You probably want something more like "dubcon," which is where it's dubious whether or not the consent is legitimate. For instance, Celestia calls Twilight to the castle and says that she'll renounce her as a student if Twilight won't have sex with her (indicating a lack of consent due to being threatened into it with something she values), but the story goes on to suggest that Twilight actually finds the situation exciting (indicating that she may be taking the chance to do something she wanted to do anyway, or even that it might be roleplay between the two). This leaves it ambiguous if she agreed because she actually wanted it, or if she really didn't want it and only agreed due to the threat. Hence "dubious consent."

I didn't know of such a tag, hence why I was so distressed how to tag such a scene. I thank you for pointing that out, it really helped me, especially considering I'm a bit unsure about the stuff I'm writing, so I'm thankful for all the help I get! :twilightsheepish:

It's not some kind of huge problem or anything, just a suggestion to make it a little quicker and involve fewer spoilers. The story description leaves it vague enough that people might want to check the warnings in case it's something that they're not interested in, and having something like "It's not really rape, because she does want it, but they do kind of pressure her at first" kind of spoils how things are going to go down in the story. "Dubcon" typically gets the idea across without having to go into any detail. That said...regardless of which you choose to call it, I'm not sure this really qualifies. Yes, there was a little pressure, but I think you made it pretty obvious early on that she wanted to try it, was into it when it happened, and was satisfied with it afterwards. So it never really felt like it was even edging towards non-consensual, at least to me.

Glad it felt like that, since that was mainly what I wanted. I wanted something extreme and degrading, but also wanted a willingness from RD, while she was still a bit unsure about it.

Anyway, as for the story itself: The dialogue and dirty talk got a tad repetitive at times, but aside from that it was a pretty fun little read, and the scenario you set up really worked well for the cumdumpster concept. At least, it seems far more plausible (and flows better as a result) since you established at the beginning of the story that Rainbow was aware that griffons mated that way, gave her a far more realistic reaction to initially seeing it (thinking that Gilda might be in trouble), but then remembering what Gilda had told her and getting interested. A lot of other fics just kind of have the character randomly getting dragged into some public gangbang because "uh, reasons?" without any real setup. That can make it kind of jarring, and when something is jarring it tends to pull me out of the story. Not that there's anything wrong with mindless clop, of course. It's usually just not my preference.

I honestly don't know how to get dialogue writing right. I had also trouble while writing the final chapter of 'Spike the Horny Dragoness'. Barb had so few dialogues, because I simply didn't have any idea what to implement. Same goes for the dragons.

I'm glad you found the setting plausible, even though I have to admit that it pretty much represents thtiger's in that regard. In his setting Gilda got chased by a griffon and fucked on a cloud. Rainbow wanted to help her before remembering that this is normal mating behavior and then sits down in a cloud to masturbate to the scene before her. But of course Rainbow doesn't get caught or gets in on the action. That was the point where I thought how nice it would be to have her thrown in a situation where she joins in because she was discovered. Not to mention that I liked the thought about her becoming a cumdump for the entire town of Griffonstone. I think there should be more fics which end up with a character being the towns willing cumdump. It is kind of a reason I wanted to write something like this. Not to mention that I had problem writing anything other at that moment. I guess this was needed, so that I might get back to writing requests.

So...yeah. A few things here and there that could probably use some polishing, but an enjoyable read overall. Good job.

Glad you liked it! :yay:

7581278

Yup. I can imagine her doing that too. I have just written it differently since I like the part where a character succumbs to this and is willingly being the towns cumdump. I probably could have procrastinated that bit, but I think or hope it works out this way too.

So are hippogriffs not a thing in this universe?

7612401

Depends on your interpretation, since I didn't mention it, but my personal opinion is that griffon superiority would be better demonstrated if a griffon baby would grow in Dashie's womb, rather than a hippogriff. It would better demonstrate the believe of superior griffon genes, which I don't mean in any way offensive. Just saying it would probably suit the story better, if we would actually think or maybe even write further. :pinkiesmile:

7613978
Bah. The whole thing can be easily seen as such :
Consider the 3 pony races, Unicorn/Earth/Pegasus, it's mix-and-match when it comes to genes and 2 Unicorns can end up with a pegasus foal, if at least 1 of them had one in their ancestry.

So, though it's on a different level, it wouldn't be hard for one to say that 'Pony' + 'Griffin' could have several possible results. Like : Pony(probably a pegasus more often, due to the griffin gene), Griffin, or Hippogriff (the lion half of the griffin get substituted to the ''horse'' part).

http://kingdomofbeasts.weebly.com/griffins-and-hippogriffs.html

Of course, Pony+Griffin relationships would certainly be a very uncommon thing, at this point in time(in the series itself, IF it could be a thing), considering that friendship stuff is only beginning to resurface in Griffin society.

7581255 why talk about what you act like when talking about how rainbow dash acted

7644388
Eh, thats a fair question. I don't really act like Rainbow Dash. But I guess I was still kinda thinking it was weird to just roll with his thought that she had such experiences. Plus, for a lot of guys, knowing that it was her first time is probably something they'd enjoy right? Though, I guess the griffons would have made it an insult somehow.

7613978

Needs chapter 2 where she's pregnant

7646484 I think it might have been not wanting to admit that before that she was a virgin, probably because Rainbow talks about how awesome she is and admitting that she was a virgin might have been incredibly embarrassing for someone so "awesome".

I imagined Morgan Freeman's voice reading this, I died laughing XD

" And the griffons are quite intent on showing her how superior they are compared to the mushy ponies. "

Just you wait until you're shown some pony justice, ya beaked bastard.

pet

Such a lucky Dashy, I hope her new pimp Gilda is good to her.

That was one adventure she will keep for bragging right :trollestia:

7646490
And Twilight and friends come to save her.


7613978
So. No Silver Quill.

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