- Member Since 13th May, 2016
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TheOneWithoutAName
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TheOneWithoutAName
Joined 13th May, 2016 ·
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I didn't even read this stupid thing, but premise is already bullshit. In what world you blackmail someone with photos of something defaming and then ask them to do the something equally disgraceful in public. It is like: You need to kill a kitten in front of crowd, or I will publish photo of you killing a kitten. You can always say that photo is fake, especially if you are absolute monarch with excellent reputation and send blackmailer to Tartarus, but if you done something publicly, it will be undeniable fact.
9196795
Its a clop, it does not need to make sense most of the time.
9196795
Critique is appreciated but you don't have to use such language. Twilight is far from perfect. She can overthink things. Not to mention that even if the photo was fake, it could still cause a lot of damage. Or do you really think People would know the difference? There are People saying outrageous things and even though they are fake some People believe them. And that is without any Kind of proof. The stallion here has proof and real blackmail material. Twilight is a sacrificing Kind of mare. I did explain her stance in the Story.
Anyway, I can not know if this is your only issue with the Story, or if you simply dislike blackmail and/or rape stories. In both cases I do hope you didn't downvote the Story. A Story should only be downvoted after being read. At least that is my opinion.
9196795
Do you expect people to be impressed that you're stupid enough to downvote a story without having read it? Special snowflakes like you that downvote a story because the concept offends you is why the up/down vote system is too inaccurate to be useful with any sort of extreme subject matter. I mean your argument basically boils down to "Stop liking what I don't like!"
Maybe you should write a story about Celestia sending someone to Tartarus because they blackmailed her for something she actually did, then I can be a bitch and downvote it without reading it because that concept is so ridiculously stupid in and of itself. Besides that, in case you're not intelligent enough to notice, this is a clop fic. How many people that like this subject are going to give a fuck if it has coherent plot?
Also 12 upvotes on a disparaging comment when the story itself has 13 downvotes? Smells like alt accounts. Maybe I should poke at it.
Just cruising by to remark at the stupidity of the phrase ‘consensual rape’.
9196795
That aside you should give it a chance before you judge it, I for one will be reading it later when I have time.
Making stories about rape is advocating rape
9196926
Making stories about murder is advocating murder. We should arrest every author of a murder mystery.
9196926
Making violent video games is advocating violence.
See how dumb that statement sounds?
Anyway, I don’t plan to read this, since it sounds like it doesn’t end with the rapist getting gelded at the end, but I’m not gonna downvote it either. Just here to read the comments!
9196795
That's the problem with these stories. First of all I want to say that I like the premise of stories like this; the humiliation, etc. But the target selected and the reasoning behind her agreeing to go through with her actions were just fucking retarded. It would have been way better if the author had picked a pony that didn't have unimaginable political and magical power.
"Do this or I'll publish these photos."
Twi: "Do you have proof these are real?"
"I took a photo."
Twi: "That's wonderful for you. But you're coming to me with evidence of an act, so it's your responsibility to prove that your evidence is valid. It's going to take a lot of proof to make anypony believe that a royal princess - who the public is aware saved Equestria dozens of times - has done disgusting things like that."
"No, just let my friends fuck you in public where everypony can see you."
Twi: "...wait, what? Let me humiliate myself in public or you'll release humiliating photos to the public?"
"Exactly."
Twi: "So, is this the part where I charge you with conspiracy against royalty and sentence you to a few dozen years in Tartarus?"
"But let me and my friends fuck you, though!"
Twi: "GUARDS!"
9196936
To be clear that isn't a fair comparison. Murder mysteries actively tell a story about how awful the person is and getting justice, and most of the focus is on the mystery itself.
This story is just about a rape fetish.
A more apt comparison would be a book about a man who murdered an innocent, told you about it in great detail, he got away with it, and was then rewarded for his actions. STILL not something that I believes advocates the crime exactly, but it is still just disgusting.
Nevertheless, this was written poorly and has numerous errors and bad story-telling.
9196831
9196916
9196891
I didn't downvote the story judging only on a premise - that would unfair (I didn't vote at all). I just pointed out that summary really killed any interest to check it. The are thousands of ways to blackmail someone, there are thousands of ways to make someone do something obscene in public (especially in the world where mind control exist), yet author pulled out the most unreal combination. You can abuse reality in pornography, but this is "2+2=5" level of nonsense.
I generally dislike this stories (unless they about characters that I hate), but I just walk pass them - I completely understand that popularity of such stories based on very nature of taboos being fetishized, for example incest is very popular in pornography, yet most of people who like such stories don't really fantasize about their relatives, let alone assault them. So don't judge people on their fetishes only. I was just looking site front page and absurdity of summary pissed me off.
Oooh, boy! What did I miss down here, hmm?
9197009
I'm not defending this story; I'm criticizing the statement ‘making stories about rape is advocating rape’. If the sentence had been ‘making stories that paint rape in a positive or moral light is advocating rape’ there wouldn't be an issue… but that wasn't what was said.
9197018
I am glad you elaborated further.
In your first comment it sounded like you didn't believe Alicorn's can ever be blackmailed. And if you were really that angry at seeing the description, maybe you should have tried to calm down first before making a comment. With that out of the way I am interested and eager to listen to your perspective of things on what would have been the better Approach. 
Sans mind control though. I personally find that one not Fitting here. It would seem too lazy.
Meanwhile I will try to Elaborate my own reasoning towards the method I used. First off I would like to mention that Twilight is not a politician and doesn't think like one. She is an adorable and naive nerdish bookworm princess that has Trouble to see eye to eye with Celestia as could be seen on the Theater Episode of Season 8. Twilight couldn't even be honest with Celestia there and was choosing the wrong decision. Or in Season 3 Episode 1, Twilight did Freak-out about something as small as a test. She back then thought it was only a written test and still she behaved quite silly/naive. Or in the movie, Twilight and her friends showed blind trust towards a suspicious cat Person, showing naivety.
I am not saying that Twilight is dumb. We all know that she is a rather smart mare. But Twilight can easily be tricked or come to a wrong conclusion. Do you think Twilight could Keep a cool head when it came to Princess Celestia? Furthermore at first there was no talking about public humiliation. That came later. At first she believed it was just something they would do in private. He simply led her on and then, while she was flustered from seeing the Princesses Pictures he gave her the real deal. He coaxed her into it, saying how it wouldn't a big deal for a newbie princess to have a scandal. How small it would be in comparison to the scandal with the Princesses. He offered a big scandal in Exchange for a smaller scandal. So there is a reason why I wrote it like that. Additionally I would also like to note that in this Story, Twilight is a bit of a pervert closet, so the private session didn't Sound that undoable for her. This is mainly a corruption Story with Twilight in it one could say.
9196996
To answer your Point I quickly copied it from up there to down here to give you more insights.
9197009
It would be better if you could Elaborate. Your comment is hard to assess the way it is. You use a comparison, ending it with how disgusting it still would be which might imply that you find the subject matter of this Story disgusting. It wasn't clear to me if you really meant to imply something like that, which is why I seek clarification. If you don't like the subject itself it wouldn't exactly give much weight to your critique of it being poorly written because if you don't like something it might be harder for you to judge if a Story turned out well or not.
I have some experience in writing clopfics so my Quality isn't normally poor. My Prereader also didn't find anything wrong with it. The Story isn't edited yet, but seeing how I and my Prereader were looking through it, it should still be readable. Of course I can't be sure that I did deliver just as well as with my stories Prior, seeing as I haven't published a Story in months, so I wouldn't mind some more Input from your side.
I came. That is all. Keep up the good work.
Why not steal Twlight’s crown so she can revert back into a unicorn? Use the crown as leverage to make her do what ever because she does not want Celestia to know of the incident. Reason is that blackmailing in a magical world with a picture feels a bit weak but if it was with a some type of recording device (magical recording crystal etc. Sorry, I enjoy too much fantasy & Isekai stories.
I can believe we are arguing about porn. Man the times sure have change!
9197331
That’s not how becoming an alicorn works. It’s not her crown that made her one. It’s her innate abilities.
9197338
I don't think you got the joke.
9197304
I'm sorry, but I don't have the time to sit down and fully edit a chapter. That's not my job.
Although I will say two things:
1. Why did you randomly capitalize words in your reply? There was no reason for it...
2. A person can dislike something and still give an objective review of it, especially if all they're doing is reviewing the story-telling mechanics.
The problem is that the threat doesn't match to what the blackmailer wants. So he'll show some pictures of Celestia dyking it out with Luna. Who cares? Saving them from some humiliation doesn't equate to Twilight throwing her life away. Which is what would happen if Twilight got gangbanged in public. She'd lose all credibility and wouldn't be able to spread friendship across Equestria. She's also a school teacher, and I doubt parents would continue to send their kids to Friendship School after they learned their teacher liked to get gangbanged in public.
Not to mention the entire scheme from Dark Moon is unquestionably stupid. Whether or not Twilight agreed to fuck him, he's going to jail afterwards. He's a noble. He can't exactly hide or get away. Nobles aren't immune from the law, and that goes doubly when they threaten the reigning monarch.
This whole thing would be slightly more believable if the fucking wasn't public. "Let me and my friends fuck you in private, or I go public." The whole public thing could come after Twilight "fell," and she stopped caring about consequences.
9197304
I think what he's saying is "if you actually had any sexual experience to incorporate into your writing, it might not suck as much".
9196891
Triggered
9197594
replying to myself, because I forgot to add:
What the fuck is consensual rape? I've left the whole "there's a difference between non-con and rape" alone, despite how silly it is.
But seriously ... wut?
9197834
Come on dude. We were all virgins growing up, and chances are there's at least one in every social circle. Think back to all the dumb crap you heard/thought and you'll understand clop fiction.
9197834
I hate these types. If I want rape I don’t want the victim to end up likening it. That doesn’t happen in real life and comes of to me like A: saying as long as they end up loving it you can rape anyone you want or B: the author is too afraid to go all the way.
I love these grim dark porn stories. We can never really no why (I have some idea), however the second I see ether mindbreak, hypnosis, or eventual consensual rape as tags it turns me the fuck off. I can get behind it that ther bodies literally cannot take it and react without there say so. So just keep it that way. Why make them like it too. Why have this dark edgy story and make everything “ok” in the end. Rape is bad and it shouldn’t have any inclination that its a good thing. If you have a fetish and halfway though its swapped out with another wouldn’t you be disappointed.
I really wish someone could tell me why they like this type of stories. If I want some vanilla consensual shit I seek that out. If I want some dark ass rape I want dwrk ass rape. Why try to mix the too. The worse offenders is stories labeld as non-con were the plot twist is “there were role playing” that wasn’t non-con then and it’s like a punch to the dick.
9197964
I understand that it’s not “what the fuck is shit” and more why label it this way. Why go out if you’re way if you’re going to make it un-dark despite still having it be dark. At least this story has the balls to put the dark tags up. I cound not stand when author were excuseing the tags away because “they liked it in the end” that’s bullshit.
9196906
It’s really supid. Coming from some that enjoys Rape fics (as long as there is no gore)
9197452
1. For some reason there is an autocorrect Thing going on with my comments that does the capitalizing.
2. That is true, but it is strange that a Person that dislikes the subject of a clopfic would read it. That is also why I wasn't sure if your critique was meant serious or if you are a troll. I can certainly say that the Person I answer next to is most certainly a troll.
9197627
If my writing was so terrible I wouldn't have 784 Followers. Also it doesn't make any sense to assume that a Person you never met in your entire life is a virgin. I could assume the same about you and make a joke about how you are taking time to look up stories here you dislike, but I won't.
9197834
9198129
I could give you some insights about this Eventual Consensual Rape theme. It is a Thing in stories. The Rape Group does have their own tag where I got the Name in the first place. The thought behind it is to corrupt/sluttify a mare. Things that start up rapey turn more consensual as the victim might actually have a fetish towards what is done to her as an example. So, if someone had a humiliation/rape fetish, didn't want to necessarily tries it out but gets forced into it, it might do something to the mare. Or one could also go the pleasure route, making sure that the enjoyment is what leads to the acceptance in the end. And yes, that does Count mind break too.
DaWarWolf: Anyway, if you don't like Eventual Consensual Rape, that is okay. But then you don't have to stay on this Story and mention that you find it not really believable. You asked: Why mix These two? I ask you: Why not? It is not that I am too afraid to go all the way. I rather enjoy it just more to write it that way. People have different interests. For example you also don't like Rape with Gore Elements in it, like you mentioned. I could also then say that the rape isn't going far enough. There are different forms of rape just like there are different fetishes.
9197594
I was thinking about writing in a secretive bar Setting, albeit I decided against it in the end since the Setting that was wished for was a more public one. Of course there is the possibility that he could have done this over more than one session with Twilight to first work her towards this Goals. It is an idea that is used in slave Trainer games after all. But I was limited with the words, so I went with this and did actually have him coax her and trick her into doing it. Honestly, I wasn't expecting such a negative backlash. Only one Minute into it being published and I had already 3 dislikes before the first comment came in and then sparked a whole debate about blackmail instead of focusing more on the Story as a whole.
9198259
>i'M moDeRATelY poPulAR sO tHaT meAnS Im good
Huh. Well, that defense has been used by Meyer and Brown fans before. Whether there's any validity to it is another can of worms. But let's be honest, it really shows in your writing that there's no personal experience on the matter. I know I'm not the only one thinking it, just the only one ass enough to publicly say it.
9198259
No one is talking about the story as a whole because they're getting hung up on the blackmail. Porn usually has dumb and unrealistic plots. It's porn. But if a set up is so out there that my penis looks up at me and asks me what the hell is going on, something is wrong. If you're gonna destroy a pony's life, you need to have something they think is worth having their life destroyed for.
And I get that you may have been limited by the commissioner. Commissioners are usually dumb as well as their ideas. So I don't know how much of this story is you and how much is the commissioner.
As for the down votes, I guarantee less than half of those downvotes read the story. Which, in my opinion, is fine. On this website, the rating isn't a mark on quality; it's popularity (just look at Past Sins or My Little Dashie). They read the summary, and thought the idea was bad and downvoted it.
You aren't a bad writer. I've enjoyed some of your stories (I have a thing for cheating). You write a little too much rape, but to each their own. This particular idea just didn't work out. Learn from it and move on to better things.
What the hell happened in these comments.
9199161
First off, you're using "le plebbit spacing" and the arrow is for greentext. Greentext from 4chan, moron. If you're going to be passive-aggressive and insult me, at least get your material straight.
9198634
I thank you for your insights here. Though I think the Rating can be quite the Problem seeing as many might just not read a Story because they think it must be terrible if it has many dislikes. This here got a lot more negativity than Fall of Equestria which is saying something. In hindsight I probably should have disabled the Ratings for a day. That way this Story could have slipped past the Radar of People seeing it on the front side and then disliked it. But what is done is done. Now that the storm is slowly ceasing the Rating is slowly turning more favorable, though with how wrecked it is with the many downvotes that still might be quite a while and the Rating it reaches in the end still might be not as favorable still. But that is just my view on the Rating.
Anyway, thanks again for the encouragement. I won't let myself be disheartened by it and have still another few Projects to work on and finish too. So I hope to see you commenting again, on another Story and with a much more positive atmosphere hopefully.
9199883
Like being a white knight on an amateur writing site dedicated to talking, pastel ponies? Good work on that.
The biggest problem I have with this story is that it is too much and too quickly. This might have worked as a climax to a story over a longer period of time. Maybe starting small or having her be defiled in private by a large group. Then, after a chapter or two, defiling her public just in a different setting. Maybe some made up town.
The reason I say this is that, well, it just feels so unlike the characters. I will admit Twilight will do anything for her mentor but what if she snapped or broke in a different way. Just watch Cool Devices episode 11 for a good example. Or what if she decided to simply freeze Dark Moon, destroy the evidence, and maybe kill him for good measure considering how extreme he went right off the bat. What if a guard showed up on the streets or her parents?
Personally, I enjoyed the story. A prequel or a sequel would be most welcome and I think you should ignore the bad comments. This was one of the hotter stories I've read.
Starts looking for a sequel about how she comes crawling back to Dark Moon or is finally introduced into Celestia's harem...... And finds nothing....... WHYYYYY?!?