Flitter Gets Jealous

by CategoricalGrant

Epilogue- Hearth's Warming Eve Morning

"And that's why, all I want for Hearth's Warming is you," Spike told her, cupping her cheeks with a claw. "I'm just sorry that it took me so long..." he looked away in shame.

She leaned forward and kissed him. "Oh Spike, it's okay...we're here now."

He leaned in to kiss her again, pressing her down against the floor with some force. "I want you...Do you want me?"

"Yes, Spike! Please!" Their lips met again.

Suddenly, there were multiple knocks at the door. "Cloudchaser! Wake up! It's Hearth's Warming Eve, and we have to go babysit Rumble in a few minutes!"

"Okay!" Cloudchaser cried, frustrated. "Just gimme a minute!"

"Sure thing Miss Grumpy pants! Just don't make us late, or your crush Thunderlane won't be happy with you," Flitter giggled, trotting away down the hallway.

Cloudchaser sat up with a groan, rubbing her temples. Two full days had passed since Spike had kissed her on the cheek, and still it seemed to take up every waking thought.

Cloudchaser went to the bathroom to begin her morning routine. Oh well, she couldn't much help it. Besides, a new year was coming up.

And a new year meant new resolve.

Author's Note:

*X-Files Theme Plays*

Comments

[Steadfast Hoof]

That came out of no where. Loved it.

[Lucien Chance]

Your writing was impeccable as always.

So does this mean we get the threequel, "Cloudchaser gets Jealous"?

[Eonflare]

7811542 Wouldn't both this story and previous one double as that? You know, if multiple titles could be involved?

[CaioCoia]

Another perfection Grant

[Marina]

Perfect sequel setup! So is this gonna be a Trilogy? If so, I'm willing to bet the next one is 'Cloudchaser gets jealous'.
Right now, I'm on team Flitter. She's so cute!

[Marina]

Curious as always about how THE HELL this is gonna get resolved. I guess that's the point, eh?
Also I'd love to see Discord in the next one, I can think of lots of things he could do.

[Marina]

7811700 proper British comedy

[Sky Charmer]

I definitely know that there will be a sequel to this now, can hardly wait to read it.

[Karakorum]

Looking forward to "Cloudchaser Gets Jealous"!!!

[Guardians-of-chaos]

Real One: This will become a trilogy, right? Looking forward for next installment...
True One: No, probably a collection, we still need to know who Spike will choose and if Cloudchaser will grow some ovaries and say to Spike...
Hells Fire: -tries his best imponification of Cloudchaser, and fails miserably- 'Oh Spiky, I need to feel your hard rock scales on my soft and warm fur for the rest of my life!'.

[CategoricalGrant]

7811542
Thanks :)
Cloudchaser Gets Jealous might be in the works if this does well enough...if not, I'll move along to some "new IP", so to speak.

[CategoricalGrant]

7811700
That line is based on a real-life conversation with my PI. Recently he became quite saddened by the passing of "Manuel" the Waiter.

[Dirty Bit]

That Author's Note, though...

[Griseus]

Fight
Spell
Item
Run
Selects Run
*Griseus runs from story. 0 gp, 0 exp*

[mrk]

The ride never ends!

[Steadfast Hoof]

If this is an entry to the latest sparity contest please link the relevant contest folder!

Or just clarify that this is an entry to the contest! Thx!

[CategoricalGrant]

7817408 OK, sounds good. I'll get it done in just a sec.

[Amdazzler]

Such a good story. I do hope there'll be a sequel to it. :)

[CategoricalGrant]

7830439 Thank you! I'm not sure I'll write a sequel since the response to this was subdued...But I might!
You've read the first story, right?

[Amdazzler]

7830728
You're welcome, I have, and I enjoyed it as well. And I'll definitely be reading the next story if you do decide to continue. :)

[spiralcrisis]

And just like that I'm hoping for story number three.

[DarkDMan]

I smell a trilogy! Great story. Love your character development for all.

[CategoricalGrant]

8097717 Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Midnight Radiance]

I'm so glad I finally got around to reading this story.

What's next? Twilight Gets Jealous?

[Silver Topaz]

This story was great. I loved everything about it. Hopefully you might make another please.

[FamousLastWords]

Alright, let's check this bad boy out.

[FamousLastWords]

Spike, who was seated in view of the entryway, made eye contact with Princess Luna, each individual sending the other a knowing, awkward glance as the two fully grown mares completed their schoolfilly rhyme and shook their rear ends at each other.
When they finished, Luna cleared her throat. “Could you show me to where I’ll be staying, Twilight? I have a bag I’d like to drop off.”

Those two paragraph needed to be separated. Your storytelling is fantastic, just some formatting issues bog it down a bit.

I have two beautiful mares that are both special to me in their own way trying to knock down my door to get to me, and I intend to milk that situation for all it’s worth before I deliver my choice to them.”

s2.quickmeme.com/img/f1/f1921d92974ae33c209de896ee17540283d51f48984b314f63bd955b76c6cf43.jpg

“Sure,” she giggled. “I’ll take a hug in exchange though.”

Sir, you are a genius with all things cute.

We’re studying the pyschosocial foundations

Cheerilee is a metalhead, confirmed:

“Here,” she turned to Cloudchaser, “hold this.” She placed Spike in her hooves and got up to answer the door.

Your simple visual lines are some of the best I've read for this genre of fic. I'm being honest when I say that.

Spike scoffed a little bit. “...Gaaaaay!”

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/252/995/483.png

Cloudchaser scoffed and eyed Flitter up and down for a minute. “Well...I hope he sees right through you, because those pajamas make you look like a whore.”

You need to put Cloudkicker as opposed to Cloudchaser.

“Thank you. Future generations will sing of this sacrifice.”

Fantastic.

“Oh no, they’re all snug and warm in their hibernation caverns, the cute little guys. I just wanted to ask if you would take me on this couch,” Fluttershy motioned gently with her hoof.

wcsh6.com/img/resize/content.wcsh6.com/photo/2017/02/13/eSCALATED_1487040000699_8508527_ver1.0.jpg?preset=video-still

Altogether, I really enjoyed this one. It was very funny, had adorable moments as per the usual but also a good taste of complexity and strangeness. I liked how you developed your own theory on magic and such for the story.

On a sour note, this fic series really needs a conclusion lest Spike becomes the douche of the year. Personally, I'm voting for Spike and Flitter because that's one of my favorite ships of all time. I like Cloudchaser better, but Spike and Flitter have such a cute element to them.

You had a few formatting and gramatical errors, but nothing major. A very enjoyable story.

[FamousLastWords]

Also, the entire time I was reading this story, I kept thinking of this song. It fits so well for poor Spike:

[CategoricalGrant]

8290713

Your simple visual lines are some of the best I've read for this genre of fic. I'm being honest when I say that.

That really means a lot! Sorry for the stupid little errors that had to get in the way for you, but I'm really glad you thought this was fun!

[FamousLastWords]

8290735
Do you have any plans to finish off this series?

[CategoricalGrant]

8290737
Not in the immediate future, but the plan to finish it is in there...I just need to wait for the inspiration.
And the right time. I am spending too much of my time writing medical school applications to even think about working on a 10-15k word oneshot by myself X(

[FamousLastWords]

8290744
I feel ya. I'm in business school and running a restuarant at the same time, so time is at a premium these days. But, tell you what, you ever need help with the idea, be it for inspiration or simple editing, feel free to drop me a line.

Keep rockin', broski.

[SpikeyD]

Loved the story, it was amazing, and can we expect another continuation or is this the end?

10/10 Have a moustache

[CategoricalGrant]

8326362
I'm really glad you enjoyed! I do plan to cap this off with one last story to make things a trilogy, but it's not on the top of my priorities list atm and I don't have a full ending planned out. But, rest assured, so long as I live long enough it will happen.

[lazyreader19]

Gawd, spike is such a tease

*X-Files Theme Plays*

really the only proper ending note.

Though i feel he needs to hook up with flitter. Even if rarity was his original crush, i still feel she had her chance and was super skeevy in the first story. Psycho girlfriend style almost, seems unhealthy.

Though not sure how I'd address Cloudy, poor thing :c

[WARGAMES]

8326385
Soo?
Sequel?

[CategoricalGrant]

9669088
Hmmm

[Wikey-Spikey]

I really love this fic. One of the biggest reasons being your depiction of Flitter and Cloudchaser. It's just a fun story to read and I like revisiting it from time to time.

[DavisSentoV5]

I can't believe it took me a whole year for me finally read this! I love that this basically a bigger version of "Want it, Need it" fiasco with Spike being the obsession. Great job on this love triangle story & I hope that if there ever is a third installment, Cloudchaser finally gets to be with Spike too. Until been, I'll wait.

[Midnight Radiance]

Twilight Gets Jealous? Please.

[Shepard Dragon]

9751717
Oh yes please

[Yoshifan30]

OK so that means cloud chaser was in love with spike boy that makes things complicated wow that was a crazy story i wonder there's going to be more of this I guess we'll find out another time but this was a really interesting story nice job man

[DesiestChangeling]

There needs to be a sequel to this, where spike either picks one or both rarity and flitter so twilight then gets jealous 😂

[Pia-chan]

So no sparity... I'm disappointed.

[CategoricalGrant]

10907723
Hmm, I don't know about that! :3c

[Maymax99]

Este suspenso está a un nuevo niveeeeeelll noooooooo!!! Apoyo a flitter y si no a cloudchaser

[GrayMatter]

GIVE ME MORE STORIES! I LOVE IT!!! ❤️❤️