• Member Since 25th Dec, 2013
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Golden Flare


I love to create stories.

T
Source

[Displaced Story]

This day was going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I dreamed since I was—wait, what am I doing?

*sigh* I guess I should start from the beginning.

Obviously, I am a brony, as well as a Kingdom Hearts fan, and for the first time, I'm cosplaying at a convention as Vanitas from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep, except I don't have the Void Gear Keyblade. But that will soon change; I come across a stand with a shady looking merchant who had a ton of cool collectibles; Cloud's Buster Sword, Akame's Murasama, and everything in between. I walked up and I saw it: Void Gear. I knew I had to have it, so I paid for it and got it.

But the moment I touched the Keyblade...

The next thing I knew, I find myself in a creepy forest.

I've been tricked.


That's right, I'm jumping on the Displaced bandwagon! Stay tuned for the fun!

Takes place during Season 3, after The Crystal Empire Parts 1 & 2.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 45 )

Ooooh, color me interested.

Already got plans to read today, buuuuut putting this in read later for tomorrow, unless I have more time today than expected. xD

I'll stick to this in the slight chance I see a awesome Blueblood in this. The Prince of the everfree and the Prince of unicorns hanging together is a sight I would gladly welcome.

YOSH! A Displaced Vanitas story! This looks like a fantastic read so far!

That settles it! I LOVE THIS! I'm following and favoriting it!

Keep it up.

IT'S A TRAP

7355117 Ah good old admiral ackbar when you need him

I've become Vanitas, an embodiment of darkness.

And I assaulted the Canterlot Royal Guards.

Yup. This is not my lucky day.

Yup... He's screwed.

"Once again Golden, you never cease to impress me with stories like these. Keep it up and stay 20% Awesome my friend!" :pinkiehappy:

7355220

That's right, I'm a brony, and proud of it.

That's right, i'll fuck the fear to- oh were not doing that.
Well time to go on a walk.

i would like to see more please.
7354953 You mean the prince of assholes Blueblood?

7356049 After you read many stories that involve Blueblood with the main character, you would understand why i call him the prince of of assholes.

7356064 Most of those stories just use him as a scapegoat to make the mane six and their ocs look cool.

I wonder who this one is. I would like to see some more though, please.

Another great chapter!

Can't wait for more... and hopefully, one day, crossing over with this guy *Jots name on Crossover wish list*

Delsin Rowe the guy from InFamous?

I have to say the perspective changes in this chapter are really throwing me off.

Nice. I like the references to finding treasure like in the game. Well done!

Sword Master's emblem, Blood Orb, Amulet of Drakonan...My items would greatly benefit Vanitas at this point. Not even asking for a crossover, just wanna see how another writer would implement Adventure Quest misc. items to their story.

Can we please stop with the 'dimmensionally misplaced' thing? Please? It's so stupid.

I've become Vanitas, an embodiment of darkness.

But I thought that the unversed embodied negativity?:rainbowhuh:

The flares burn a golden hue...but will they blaze forever true?

7363578 Indeed, though one could easily say that there aren't any, seeing as the author doesn't show the changes very well at all.

"Well...that happened."

My thoughts exactly.

I could post a picture for this... Nah... Very Nice

OK,

Im a bit torn here. While I really do like the story, It suffers from a major flaw. It is written assuming the reader has played the video game and has knowledge of the video games world. I like cross over stories and some of my favorites are crossovers with TV shows and video games that I have absolutely no history or understanding with. Often I only realize that its a cross over story months later after reading a comment. When doing a crossover story, the Author really needs to flush out the world and try to cater to a wide readership.

The first few fights were great and pulled me into the story. The bigger battles halfway through the story, I was absolutely lost. A great example of a cross over done very well is "Monster is as Monster does by Weapons_X" Its a cross over based on the prototype video game. A game I have never even heard of. I had no problem visualizing or following the story. Another great example was the original version of "Great, I'm the New Bad Guy by Lichlord18" which sadly was pulled by the Author. The version here now is his rewrite, which while I prefer in many ways, doesn't do as good a job of dropping you into the cross over world.

Again, I do like this story, but the Author really needs to remember that a good percentage of the readership may have no more than a passing familiarity with the video game it is based on. Descriptions are important.

The Monk

7441460 vanitus literally IS darkness given form. He is ventis' dark half.

7902512 True, and looking back on my comment I realize that I kinda screwed up. I got caught up in focusing on the fact that he's the source of the Unversed, rather than the fact that he was a being born of Darkness.

To be more specific, I was thinking about how Vanitas' negative emotions are the true source of the unversed, and it was the act of splitting a heart into its polarized components that caused them to take on physical forms.

...Kinda like splitting an atom, but with more fantasy elements.

What the fuck a summon in the second chapter this is the problem with crossovers of this kind they don't let any real STORY develop before they introduce new people which means I can't bring myself to care about any of the characters because they are there and gone to quick. This isn't Game of Thrones people.

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