"Death-Defying Stunts Aren't Exactly Deadly."
It had been far too long since Ponyville went without a breathtaking performance that reduced the entire population to clapping, stomping, whooping and hollering. Like, at least a week. The triumphant return of former pariah, the Great and Powerful Trixie, was just what the doctor ordered. Well, actually, Doctor Stable was a hardcore Hoofdini purist, and the veterinarian was on vacation that week, but it's just an expression, okay?
Anyway, the townsfolk couldn't have asked for a better piece of quality entertainment, and Trixie couldn't have asked for a better comeback. The show had definitely gotten off to what she would call a rocky start, but with every trick she and Starlight grew more confident, more bold, and just generally more amazing. Far from the illusion-shattering show of humility she had planned for the tour, it had mutated into a two-mare show of stupendous magical ability, transforming parlor tricks into true magic and making illusions more convincing than reality.
After hours of awe-inducing performances, the two unicorns finally stumbled off of the stage. Trixie managed to just barely walk straight, the result of years of performing endless encores in the desperate hope of more bits, but Starlight was not so lucky. She had poured so much magic into every trick, it was a wonder her horn was even still attached to her head, much less that her legs could even pretend to work.
Depending on your side of the conflict, it was either the best of times or the worst of times for Equestria's latest dynamic duo to be ambushed by reporters for a local newspaper.
As Starlight began to lurch into a particularly nasty fall, there was the sudden flash of a camera. She jolted back, and the two sudden motions cancelled out and left her standing stiff in the middle of the road. Unfortunately the same burst of light made Trixie spring to the side, sending both mares tumbling to the dirt.
The camera flashed again, and they tried to blink away the glare long enough to get a bead on who it was that was snapping the pictures.
"Evening, ladies! Name's Featherweight, of the Foal Free Press! Think you could spare some time for a quick interview about your spectacular debut?"
It was the sort of voice that sounded like it could be punted over the horizon, a thin, reedy and altogether weak voice that reached deep down inside most ponies and flipped that switch labelled 'Disdain'. As some of the blurs faded from Trixie's vision, she noticed that the colt's body looked just as easy to abuse, as though the space between his front and back legs was perfectly designed to nestle her hoof as she punched him into the sky.
As she had been doing with most of Ponyville's residents, she tried desperately to remember if she had done anything horrible to him personally. He didn't look like he harbored a grudge, but then again, he was a child. Children were stupid and quick to forgive.
Meanwhile, Starlight hauled herself up into something resembling a sitting position, and gave her best tired impression of a smile. "Sure, we can answer a few questions."
Featherweight gave an eager smile that begged for its dreams to be crushed, and swung his camera over his shoulder while pulling out a notepad with his wing. "Well, first off, we've all been hearing a lot of different things about this tour you're going on. From hour to hour, nearly every word of the title has been swapped out for something else, and there've been a lot of ponies who interpret that as changes in motive. Now, we've all heard you go on about it being a working title, so instead I wanted to ask: What do you hope to accomplish with this tour?"
Trixie smiled faintly. "Well, my dear, the idea for this tour came about after a lot of my performances in other cities got... shall we say, lukewarm reception. No matter how many times I told ponies about my repentance, the best I could hope for was that they stopped throwing tomatoes at me. And while word of mouth may travel fast, bad news can get up to a full gallop before good news has woken up." Trixie managed to stand up, and she put a little more oomph into her smile. "A nation-wide tour explicitly dedicated to showcasing how humble and penitent I have become seemed like a much better idea than just waiting for the bad press to blow over."
"And so far, it looks like it's paying off." Featherweight stopped scribbling in his notebook and seemed to take one second too long to think of his next question. "So, uh, I don't know much about stage magic myself, but from what I hear, the Moonshot Manticore Mouth-Dive is usually reserved for a finale. Of course, you ladies were more than able to carry the performance, but it seems a bit of an unnecessary risk to open with such a showstopper. Could you maybe clue us in on why you decided to open with something that could so easily have made the rest of the show fall utterly flat?"
Trixie shivered a little at the reminder. The dive had been planned as a finale, and moving it up in the schedule wasn't something she wanted to be talking about right now. She took a deep breath, and was about to try and make something up when Starlight cut in.
"Well, the Moonshot Manticore Mouth-Dive is a trick usually performed by two ponies, and almost impossible to solo. Since we wanted my role as Trixie's assistant to come as a surprise," Starlight gave Trixie the most subtle wink she could give under the circumstances, "it was the obvious choice for our opener. Like most of my friend's performances, the stunt at first comes off as a very prideful move, almost like claiming she could do the impossible. But the panicked reaction, the brief moment of uncertainty, and the obvious battle damage as she emerged from the cabinet..." Starlight raised her hoof to her lips and blew a kiss to the sky, the way those annoying Prench always did when they wanted to be especially stuck up. "What better way to show the flawed nature of the Humble and Apologetic Trixie?"
Featherweight's fevered transcription seemed to be throwing up smoke from the notepad, but that was probably just the blurriness in Trixie's vision. She leaned into Starlight, giving her a brief nuzzle of appreciation. A crisis had been averted, and spun into good PR at that.
"It's interesting that you mention the panic." The colt's pencil scratching to a stop may as well have been a needle on a record player. "Now, since the whole Gabby Gums scandal, our paper isn't officially allowed to dabble in gossip." Featherweight grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "But then again, we're a paper exclusively staffed with impressionable kids with no adult supervision."
"What's your point, Featherweight?" There was an edge to Starlight's words there, a venom that Trixie found herself leaning away from just a little.
"It's right there in all the buzz. Everyone who's chattering about your return to form and your glorious show of growth is also talking about your opening act. An opening act where a sad, passionless pony whom the world at large has treated like dirt, tells the entire crowd that this trick was meant to be performed with an assistant they no longer have, and then shoots themselves at a hungry manticore, screaming in fear halfway through as they realize their mistake." The look he gave her was a strange breed of a glare and a leer. "What about it, Trixie? Was it an attempt to take your own life? There's a lot of ponies who'd really like some closure on that little detail."
Why did journalists always have to ask such loaded questions? Just once, Trixie would have loved to spend an interview answering banal questions about smoke and mirrors, or why it was rabbits that magicians were always pulling out of hats. She turned to Starlight for help, but whimpered a little as she saw questioning concern on the mare's face. This wasn't a question she could dodge easily, and she definitely didn't want to give a straight answer.
"I can assure you, young one, my partner was not in any danger."
Trixie turned to look at the new voice, and dared to smile in relief. The same horned manticore from the show had just wandered up behind them, dragging along a very bored-looking handler on the other end of a dangerously thin string. At least, that was what it looked like.
"Really?" Featherweight stared incredulously at the handler. "And what would you know about Trixie's emotional state tonight?"
"I didn't say anything about emotions," the manticore drawled. "I said she wasn't in danger, and that I know for a fact."
Featherweight stopped, and stared agog at the manticore. "But I... wait, you... what?"
The manticore chuckled, the way that a thunderstorm chuckles as it rolls into a valley. "Merlin the Marvelous Manticore, at your service." With a flick of his barbed tail, he produced a business card. "And speaking as the metaphorical knife onto which your readers believe my partner intended to throw herself, I can state without hesitation, deviation or exaggeration that there was no possibility of the Great and Powerful Trixie dying tonight."
Featherweight was still stumbling over his initial reaction, too dumbfounded to even be taking notes. "How are you talking?"
"With my mouth." Merlin grinned, his serrated teeth eliciting a giggle of mock terror from Starlight. "Listen, kid, you don't spend five years taking unicorn magic to the face without picking up a few mutations. And we're not here to talk about a glorified stagehand, are we? We're here to talk about Trixie."
"Uh, yes, right, of course." Featherweight recovered, and readied his pencil. "So, could you please elaborate on how there was no danger in being fired into your mouth?"
"I assume you were in the audience, small one."
"Well, yeah."
"Tell me, did I chew before swallowing?"
The colt's jaw dropped.
"In fact, and I'll tell you this one for free, I didn't even really swallow. Just a sleight of tongue, if you will. One good cough and she would have popped right back out. The biggest danger that would have been posed to Trixie might have been passing out, and even that would just be a massive anticlimax as I had to cough her out and call a medic."
Trixie made a mental note that she owed Merlin a stiff drink when this was over.
"But that doesn't really answer my original question," Featherweight countered. "You've said nothing that suggests Trixie was aware of these safety measures."
"Do you take me for a fool?" Trixie actually found herself grabbing the precocious child in her magic. "Are you really so hung up on how mopey I was that you'll assume I didn't triple-check all the safety procedures of the most dangerous stunt a stage magician can legally perform? I mean, I know you're just a kid, but you can't be this stupid."
Featherweight shrugged, and put on a smile so dopey that it was physically painful. "Like you said, just a kid. Guess I made a mistake. Misread the situation. My bad, ladies."
"Um, I'm a dude." Merlin just grinned when Trixie spun around to glare at him.
Once he managed to talk his way out of a magical death-grip, Featherweight disappeared over the hill in record time. Trixie slumped against Starlight, and tears started to well up behind her eyes.
"If I were you," she heard Merlin stage-whisper to Starlight, "I'd hold off on asking her about the truth. I think we all need some time to think this over."
Trixie felt Starlight nod, and smiled, just a little. "Thanks for the save, Merlin."
"Any time, Trixie."
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Just for the record, this is very much a case of "this idea is just interesting enough to write about" and "I put too many hours into this to throw it away".
You should be very proud of this story, because it was funny and well thought-out.The internal consistency was there all the way and all in all it worked. The only thing I could disagree with was Trixie's tendency to wish violence on Featherweight, which seemed a bit much. Other than that, a fine and funny story.
I don't have any problem with a talking manticore either. This is the magical land of Equestria, where even cows and sheep talk, and where even birds and dogs, bees, spiders and butterflies are canonically fully sapient. (In fact, it can often bother me when an author ignores this just to make things more "normal".) So Merlin the Manticore is absolutely plausible. He's also a very funny character here, and a consummate professional. I can see why Trixie would work with him. Would you mind if I borrowed him for future stories?
7182569 It's less that Trixie's wishing violence on him, and just that I personally find him to have the most punchable design, and decided that the universe at large just conspires to make him really easy to physically abuse.
And the reason I'm not proud of this is that I've written much, much better.
Merlin the Marvelous Manticore is definitely available for anyone's stories.
Heh, well played, Merlin. Well played.
This story was great!
Personally, I'm just glad this is focusing on this part of the episode instead of it's more base breaking aspects but as that's off topic and I don't want to get into it because it'll just give me a headache I'll give you a Big Mac instead.
Obvious joke was obvious, but still enjoyable.
BAM! Surprise articulate manticore!
Yeah I had a feeling that the manicore was in on it.
OK, now that I gave this a good read, I have to say that this is the best explanation to many things in the episode, No Second Prances. First off, Trixie going into a deep emotional depression to take her own life, very clever of Featherweight to ask and it does seem like it at first, but then after everything that happened with the Manitcore stunt and him bowing at the end made me wonder just what was up with that Manitcore. Glad to see you didn't disappoint with the plot there!
Now Trixie and Starlight are a marvelous duo. A group of two ponies I really hope continue in later episodes, otherwise I'll be re-watching this episode for may years to come, but I liked how you made them... click together and blend so well. It was like they knew each other since they were born. You've really done this well with my two favorite unicorns. Love it!
Now a few things that made me go WTF?
It was really only two things, Talking... Yes talking. In all my time in the fandom I never read a fic where Featherweight spoke or a Manitocre for that matter. I had the same reaction when I saw this iGIF of twilight.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/5/1/1143682__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_screencap_princess+twilight_animated_edit_edited+screencap_loop_no+second+prances.gif
But that aside I really would have to nit pick at this to find anything really wrong with it, and I don't like doing that so that's all for now m'lord.
My verdict? To the moon.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/30/1143286__safe_twilight+sparkle_princess+celestia_screencap_meme_smiling_princess+twilight_edit_image+macro_floppy+ears.png
I enjoyed this. I would say more; but I have a lack of sleep and a high lack of brain function right now. I had to think for five minutes just to make this.
Okay, but where's the comedy tag? XD
7190237 I find it's better to assume my audience won't laugh at the same things I laugh at.
7190313
Understood. :)
"Well... uhm..." the manticore looked sheepish, as did Trixie. "Ok, we admit that was kind of a plot hole."
"Eh... plot.. hole? Is that some perverted reference to pony-manticore relations!?" the reporter looked shocked.
The manticore and his stage partner looked at each other. Should they tell the pony that their entire world was scripted by hairless monkey gods? Would it doom them all? Would the gods become angry that their creations had gained self-awareness and erase them from existence? As if using some form of literary-based telepathy involving Deadpool and Pinkie Pie, they came to a mutual conclusion. "It's true. We're lovers."
After this revelation, all manner of strange relations began, including a 5-way with the hydra... the perverted hairless monkey gods were pleased.
7182569 Merlin also finds Trixie delicious... but in another way.
*Alondro watches audience members vomiting in stanzas...*
*... and laughs...*
7184146 It's rather a catch-22 situation. If the manticore was in on it, then Trixie was faking her depression to guilt-trip Starlight into 'saving' her... which goes back to Trixie using Starlight to one-up Twilight... which makes her even MORE untrustworthy because it suggests she had this backup deception in the works THE ENTIRE TIME!
If it wasn't... then Trixie DID almost kill herself and there's no explanation for why the manticore was bowing.
Also, the manticore being in on it is really the only plausible explanation of how a weak mare like Trixie managed to capture a manticore in the first place.
Anyway, let's face facts: the episode's story falls apart the instant you think about any key facet of it. Too much was simply tossed in without the narrative shoring up the plausibility.
I prefer my completely insane explanation: the manticore was a professional stunt carnivore who was the same one who worked for Hoofdini (which is why they both looked 100% identical... ignoring the more plausible explanation of copy-pasting the vector design to save time and money in the animation rather than using two different manticore designs) and just didn't tell Trixie ahead of time because the fearful ones taste better.
7192362 You fail to take into account the most obvious explanation: the manticore is actually made of papier-mache, and is operated from inside by ten disenfranchised breezies (not everyone gets back through that portal, after all).
Trixie never was in any mortal danger. She just needed Starlight's help getting out because, let's face it, would you want to get into close physical contact with a bunch of creepy breezies? You don't know where they've been.
7192362 yeah but to be fair a lot of episodes would have major plotholes if you thought too much.
Also Silver quill made a point, which I agree, that she wasn't trying to kill herself. She went through it because the show must go on no matter what, it might be something she picked up from Hoofdini.
Also if whole manicore was on is the thing , it does not mean that Trixie would be manipulating Starlight. It would mean it was a safety measure because this the first time that Trixie has ever attempted it.
The heart felt massage is possible a just in case thing.
As for the Trixie not able to tame the Manicore she possible got it from a tamer of some kind.
Also it not mean she wasn't danger because there is still stomach acid to worry about
7192514 This is the most plausible explanation possible.
7193050 Yeah... it's POSSIBLE she got it from a tamer.
But we have no information.. The episode's narrative relies on the audience to fill in the gaps in information, something a GOOD narrative doesn't do with questionable scenarios.
This story needs more press.
7295609 It also needs more push.
Well, that was entertaining. Well-written, well-thought out expansion of the source material with a very nice twist that explains everything. Thank you for it.
7343275 Glad you enjoyed it!
Huh, guess that would explain how Trixie managed to get a manticore secured on stage with just a collar. And I find it funny how Featherweight uses his status as a colt to get away with asking those kinds of questions though I feel like he was really close to getting punted.
7569198 Enormously close. If this had happened before their reformation, he would have gone sailing over the horizon.
I don't know why you say this isn't good, enjoyed the read, and like the story, just because it's not how you would say your best doesn't mean you should think it's your worse
Lacking substance? does that mean it's bad? I eat cup noodles like an animal because they're quick and tasty, not for substance! Your one-shots are kind of like that "oh my, I need to go to sleep but this is less than 3k words...it should only take a couple minutes. Why look! here's another!"
So, you get upgraded to the full Platinum Comment Status. Which includes almost half of the thoughts I had while reading this story.
There were some witty lines but for some reason I liked this one the most, I don't even know what a voice being punted over a horizon could possibly mean but the imagery was amazing.
Just kidding, THIS is my favorite! that last one just took second.
HAH! Ok, do you have something against children? or journalists?
Too bad they aren't aware of that...
Holy mother bucking applesauce THEY DO KNOW!!
Manticores love whisky, just sayin'.
7725857 I just don't like Featherweight.
7725863 Oh, I didn't look up his character.
Holy graham crackers with cheese! I look at his character for 5 seconds and want to trip him into a puddle.
You, dear sir, are justified.
Three things.
1) The fact that you presented Featherweight in a sort of 'nerve-wracking and eager' light was both amusing and puzzling. Amusing because of these moments from the story:
Puzzling because I don't remember him ever being like that in the show. I mean, I've missed quite a few episodes - the last episode I remember watching was from somewhere in Season 6 - so maybe that's why.
2) Merlin the Manticore is an absolute delight. All of his dialogue is either endearingly sassy or just plain enjoyable. I like him. Is he an OC?
3) I dunno, there's just something about the idea of Trixie having depression and hiding it from Starlight (is that what happened?) that gets me thinking about Trixie's character and her friendship with Starlight...that's a good thing by the way.
Nice