• Member Since 13th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen June 9th

QueenMoriarty


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Sequels1

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The Crystal War. A battle so long and brutal that it has shaped an entire era of righteous bloodshed. Ponies don't have slumber parties, or read bedtime stories to their foals, or even so much as smile. And when they do smile, it's the kind of smile that would keep ponies of a more peaceful era awake for days.

The madness of Sombra and his slave army claims lives every day. Soldiers in service to Celestia fight tirelessly to hold onto even a shred of what Equestria used to be. Its citizens do everything they can to feed the bloody machine, from canning food to holding funerals.

And at the heart of it all, there stand three mighty warriors. They have lost a great deal to this war, though none of them know just how much. What they do know is that they made promises back home, and they are not in the habit of breaking promises. No matter the cost.

This is the story of Iron Wing and the Demolition Crew.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 124 )

I was looking for someone who did a story on this. When dash popped up in the war part of the episode I was like "what... The actual fuck!"

If I may make one slight criticism: The tone seems more fitting of a teen rating than everyone.

6679543

YET THIS SOMEHOW AIRED...

...but I agree.

Pretty good…it would be great if u explained how her wing got like that:ajsmug:

6679632 The best part is that they are (kind of) canon :pinkiecrazy:

Can we vote to call this AU version of Pinkie and Maud 'The Rockbuster Brigade'? :rainbowkiss::pinkiecrazy:

6679552 Maybe, but keep in mind we only saw a glimpse as an outsider and the true repercussions of the battle had not been explored, unlike here where it's Rainbow's inner monologue painting a rather immersive, frightening picture.

6679701 Rock Wreckers, Demolition Crew, the Wreck-it-Wraths... Come on man, use some imagination. Pie Demolition, Inc....

6679543 Criticism acknowledged, rectified. Gratitudes, human.

6679771 one of my unfinished fic ideas used "sculptors", for a unit of earth pony / cocatrice teams

6680102 That seems unnecessarily brutal. Surely turning them to stone is enough!

6680108 It wasn't a happy world. Nor is this one, apparently. Actually, this story feels so similar to what I create that I can't halp but fave it. The only weakness is the sudden mention of dubstep, which while not bad in itself, breaks the mood somewhat.

6680160 I couldn't think of any other super-loud music that RD had a reasonable chance of being familiar with.

Can't wait to see what's in store for later. :)

I like the tone and description of her surroundings. Like others, an explanation of her scars would be good (and probably better than anything the actual writers could come up with). I couldn't help but chuckle during the "If I can't see it, it can't hurt me" line.

6680320 The scars are fairly simple: she's been fighting in a war, with an almost exclusive focus on melee. It's like a hockey player's bruises.

>Never Smiles.

Most soldiers always find reasons to smile. Whores, porn, booze, battle, brawls, camaraderie, anything. It's how they deal with Hell.

If you're going to show the Hell of war, show it as it is. Not just hippy propaganda.

6680426 How exactly was I supposed to know that? I've never been on the front lines. I don't ask my grandfather what the war was like. And this piece is certainly not intended as 'hippy propaganda'.

6680443
Eh, I guess I was a bit harsh. I said hippy propaganda mostly to avoid brining up modern political positions, but I can see how this could have came up as worse.

Really, I know this mostly from war documentaries and interviews. That, and most war stories I read go the "soldier deal with the pain with hedonism and friendship" route.

Sorry if I came off as a dick.

6680426 Fits the other part of the description. Few of those would quality as smiles by pony standards.

6680478
... Peace time Ponies never engaged in hedonistic activities? They always make love and never fuck? Always drink sodas and never booze? Rainbow Dash never showed battlelust (yes, I know the fights she picks in canon are far less bloody then depicted in the Crystal War timeline, but the basis is there)?

6681086 He's saying that hedonistic activities do not mesh with the prevailing ideas of harmony on which the nation of Equestria is founded. What part of 'it wouldn't qualify as a smile' somehow translates to 'it doesn't happen'?

For comparison, alcoholism and over-sexualization exist in our world, but are generally frowned upon and seen as a detriment. As such, enjoyment derived from unwholesome activities is seen as tainted.

It's not as if I said nopony ever smiles at all. The sentence directly after all but directly states that what brings the wartime ponies joy would be disturbing to peacetime ponies.

6681099
Ah. That makes sense. Sorry, I read that line and started fearing grimderp as opposed to the appropriate levels of grimdark. That said, I'd think camaraderie would still be valued by the old society, what with the Friendship obsession and all. Though maybe even that would be considered tainted, because it was forged in bloodshed.

Actually, it'd be interesting to compare the post war culture with the pre war one. I wouldn't be surprised if the post war Equestrian looked at the pre war nation as naive, maybe even repressive (likely to Celestia's alarm). The war could bring with it a sexual and cultural revolution.

Thank you for Father Anderson's Judus creed. :pinkiecrazy: It truly fit with the tone :rainbowdetermined2:

6681542 Glad you recognized it!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!

I absolutely how you got into her head like this. It's nicely paced and the connection between her and Pinkamina is fascinating. :raritystarry:

Just amazing! You did amazing job with Maud Pie

The amount of emotion you put in your writing is amazing!!! :pinkiegasp::pinkiesad2:

This works really well. I can't wait for the Pinkie chapter and what she thought about her encounter with the Iron Wing. Perhaps she is the one with the crush or perhaps Dash is just a bit conceited. Can't wait to see.

6686092 Give it about half an hour, and you can see for yourself.

6686104

Nice. I got to say that is faster than I expected.

By the way I loved how Pinkie looked in that part of the episode.

6686248 Okay, maybe not exactly a half hour, but pretty close.

I loved how all three of them looked in that part of the episode.

6686256

Agreed though bad ass Dash and Maud are not as uncommon in this show as a directly bad ass angry looking Pinkie Pie. That makes it a bit more unique, however they all look really epic. That is a big reason why I read your story (and others like it) as I think this alternate universe has a lot of potential fun to be had.

6686306 So, took a lot longer than I said I would, but it's up now.

Overall a very interesting spin on what we all saw in the finale. Although I do have a fee comments.

Firstly I will say that i loved Dash's and Mauds chapters. They were insightful in unique ways from polar oppisite personalities. Dashs chapter gave enough initial spin to set the rest of the commentary in a way that anyone can jump into. Mauds chapter added depth to more of the unseen elements of the story, like the connection to the earth and leg braces.

I can't say i was a fan of pinkies chapter though. Her spin was less insightful and more "kill the nonbelievers!" On top of really reitterating what we learned in Mauds chapter. While I realize this is merely a spin on what could be, and does acheive the goal of not making Pinkie and Maud the same, I feel that this chapter really did a disservice to Pinkie as a character. Shes very two dimensional as written and doesn't add anything to the narrative we have.

This was a good read and I would love to see maybe two more chapters and a rewrite of Pinkies chapter. After all we have Sombra and Celestia to account for. Good work!

6686613 I'll be honest, I had literally no idea what to do for Pinkie's chapter. Pretty much everything about her character doesn't exist without the rainboom, and I really didn't know what to fill the gap with. If you've got any better ideas, though, then by all means, let's hear them.

Pinkamena reminds me of stories about my Grandad.

Special Operations Executive behind enemy lines in occupied territories in WW2.

His job was to hate, and kill. :pinkiesick:

6687278 Huh. Didn't expect that chapter to actually resonate with people.

6687100 A good example for what could have been done (and this is just me and just a friendly suggestion.) Is instead of Pinkie being a destroyer, have her be a protector. Pinkie as a character in the show has always been one who seemed more protective of her friends in her own unique ways. Always trying to keep everypony happy and oftentimes leads to her own happiness. And while yes the Rainboom didn't occur to reveal her love as a party planner, this trait is so central to her character that without it she just comes out flat. Another key point to point out is that in the episode we do have examples of the Mane 6 occurring WITH their proper cutiemarks despite the Rainboom not occurring both in the changeling and NMM AU's, so I may not be completely off the ball.

But maybe look at Pinkie as a protector, for not just her friends and relatives, but for equestria as a whole it would add a much more meaningful dialogue and perspective to the story. Even better would be to chronicle her struggle fighting the crystal ponies when she thinks that they're under a spell. You already have "gummy" present in her head, maybe turn it into a negative force urging Pinkie to kill when she doesn't have to, or a more positive force in driving her in trying to find non-lethal solutions to her combat.

One thing however, that I do suggest in maybe reviewing would be this odd "templar" thing. Pinkie is also a character who seems to be a character who knows more than she lets on, oftentimes being the pony to point out very obvious flaws in logic, or providing odd food for thought. A deep zealot of Celestia seems extremely out of place unless it's along with Celestia's normal M/O of Love, Tolerance, and Repentance. Just food for thought.

Hope it helps.

6687393 Hmm...

It is food for thought, and it tastes good.

"They are gemstones, living jewels, organic quartz. But I am corundum."

BEST LINE EVER.

Pinkie worries me. Interestingly, I once wanted to write a fic about Limestone being a knight templar leading a crusade against depravity...

:pinkiecrazy: AAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6687422
6687393 Or have it that when she first joined she was like most fresh recruits: she believed the crystal ponies had no choice due to a spell and should be pitied. When a battle took place too close to her home and she saw her family butchered at the hooves of the crystal armies a beserker's blood-lust awoke and she turned from a protective bulwark to the destroyer of heretics. "Gummy" is the remaining shreds of her child-like innocence trying to keep her partially sane.
If you come up with other things you might do with this story, maybe have a break in the fighting where they reflect on how they came to be the way they are without meaning to do so

6687926 You flatter me, good sir/madam. Surely you have read more awesome one-liners than this.

6688061
That is true.

But this line is certainly Maud Pie's Best Line Ever.
It fits her character perfectly, and is very badass.

Well, that was powerful. I like how this Pinkamena is so different from the Pinkie we all knew. Hatred was really strong in this chapter, and for some reason, I like that. Definitely fits in with the alternate universe. Great work on this story!

You go, Pinkie! Purge the heretic filth in the name of the God-Empress of Ponykind!

Well that was fun, if a bit darker than my usual fare. Not sure why Pinkie decided to taste those brains, though.

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