• Member Since 13th Jan, 2015
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KingMoriarty


I don't care what buttons you press on my stories. I care about what you have to say. That means I like comments more than favorites. Just to be clear.


E

Sunset Shimmer ran away. There's really no other way to say it. One can call it exile, tactical retreat, or even a permanent change in residence, but the facts are the same. She turned her back on the only reality she had ever known, and ran away. By the time she stopped to look back, the damage was done. It was too late. Celestia would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself.

There's someone else who will, though.


Written for Fan of Most Everything's Imposing Sovereigns contest.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 86 )

Hmm, interesting premise. Will toss this on my tracking list and read it when I get a chance. :twilightsmile:

Well now. This is definitely an interesting take on Sunhuman the Elder. And, I assume, your contest entry. Eagerly looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

8021299 Yes, it is. I just wasn't sure if I should actually say that until it was complete.

Also, not sure if this will end up being more Schemer or Warrior, so may need to change that up a bit.

8021302
Just drop a comment on the blog if need be. :twilightsmile:

8021305 Cool beans, bruh.

Now, back to desperately finishing this in time for the end of the week so I can try to measure up against so many more talented people than I that I actually haven't bothered counting how many superior talents are involved.

*reads last couple paragraphs* Well that's a twist I have seen before

I am gonna have fun when reading the entries for this.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I am intrigued and I look forward to seeing where you're going to take this story. :twilightsmile:

Nice to see a LotR reference! Now I wonder how this relationship is going to go?

This actually brought a tear to my eye which is hard to do by the way. I loved every bit of this and am left wanting to see more like at least 40 - 60 chapters more. I loved how emotional the characters where and how they each interact with each other please keep up the really good work this has been a good story and truly needs more added to it.

Interesting scenario for Sunset's time in human world. I've seen a few fanfics where Principal Celestia isn't just a high school principal, but don't think I've seen this idea before. I'm liking the interplay between her and Sunset too, especially a Sunset that isn't so vindictive as canon and a Principal that isn't so blind. Looking forward to seeing how much progress the Principal makes with her new student.

Ri2

...If she's the Crown Princess, I'm amazed Cinch can mouth off to her without getting executed.

8021907 let's see how things are different since this is an AU.

I thought it'd be even funnier if "Equestria" was now a constitutional monarchy in which the royal family are figureheads who mostly do things like make commencement speeches, perform coin tosses at major sporting events, and cut ribbons at grand openings.

Tia... She is both unimaginably far from home but, paradoxically, in many ways, she hasn't moved an inch.

This is a very interesting AU. I think that you have the right idea by suggesting more is similar between Equestria and the world of CHS than we have been shown so far. There are so many inconsistencies with the level of authority the Principals are shown to have and what you would expect of real-world head teachers or administrators. The way things are structured socially is entirely wrong and clearly intended to mirror the social structure of Equestria much more closely.

So, I'm going to be following this because you've done a good job at grabbing my attention. I just wonder if this Sunset's destiny may turn out a little different by finding herself becoming a different Celestia's Good and Faithful Student?

Sunset may be right. One Celestia may not let the other forgive her. Not if it means that her mentor can't forgive her personally.

In any case, a very touching scene... and one that, like the one before it, raises questions about the politics of this world. Still, that's far from the most important thing to worry about at the moment.

Is Vice-Principle Luna also a Princess?

Or hell, does Sombra exist in this world? Or Chrysallis? Or Tirec? Or Discord?

I suspect that Sunset will shortly get very, very irritated with how very good Celestia is and how much she reminds her of another old teacher she once had in her benevolence, wisdom and genuine kindness.

I'm fully expecting at some point for Sunset to snap and start screaming for someone to hate her. After all, she hates herself so why isn't everyone else doing the same thing?

Okay, I like this version of Celestia. Which is very surprising to me, since I really don't like Celestia most of the time... I can't help but to be on guard near people who are too powerful and benevolent, those two things DO NOT walk hand in hand most of the time. It's suspicious...

Okay if she has that much power why in the hell is she a principal?

8025027
I'm guessing that it's sort of a Prince Harry situation. Celestia has technical and legal power, but it's both customarily and practically in the hands of an elected government.

Celestia doesn't really need to do anything but she feels she should do something, but she's more into education than the military.

8025534 I explained this in the second chapter.

Celestia you have your work cut out for you, Sunset is so messed up she has no clue which way to go other then down.

So sounds like Sunset attacked Princess Celestia, and that's why she fled? No harm done (unicorn vs. alicorn) , but the intent was clear, so no wonder Sunset fears going back so much (if the portal was still open). Being absolved by an alternate version of her mentor isn't helping with Sunset's issues either.

I liked the way you framed the scene, with the road and (closed) portal offering three choices, though as Principal Celestia said not like the next town would be much different for Sunset. Sunset's going to have to move on with the way back closed, but of course the big question is what direction she'll go in.

8025553 In this 'verse, I bet Cinch will be a lot more polite to Canterlot High.

Well now, it looks like Sunset isn't immediately going evil like in OTL. How long this holds up remains to be seen.

...and the best and fastest way to gauge that is to put you through actual classes.

As opposed to, say, aptitude tests? Granted, Sunset might not even be using the same alphabet as the rest of the school, but Celestia wouldn't think to suspect that. Still, you can't test for social intelligence with a Scantron form...

I now have questions about what permits pony Applejack has for her hair.

I do love how well Sunset's initial impressions of the Humane Five carry over through the narration. In any case, this definitely doesn't seem like it'll be going in the same direction as canon. That only adds to my anticipation in seeing where it ends up. Or, if I'm wrong, just how Sunset goes from here to claiming the crown of Queen Bitch of CHS.

Sunset Shimmer? Meet the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Oh, you don't know that yet and neither do they.

I wonder if, in this world, she will be their friends or be so determined to follow her path of revenge and ambition that she will attack them as she did in the prime timeline? I could see why she might feel the need - It is in the nature of ambition for you to target those who are strong to bolster your own position and these five girls are strong indeed.

Aaaawwww! (Sniff). Why did you have to be so nice Celestia?!

"Suffice to say, I've chased the horizon too long, and I can't see the way back anymore."

Oh Sunset, you have my sympathy!:applecry:

Only Pinkie Pie wouldn't be phased by the explanation. Very enjoyable so far can't wait for MOAR:flutterrage:

You get a :moustache:

Very interesting story and I am definitely looking forward to seeing where it goes but I do have one little tiny nitpick: no teenager alive speaks like these do; and exactly how late in the morning or how many cups of coffee did the Solar Principal have that she was able to have a philosophical and Technical discussion about the nature of public education?

This chapter is so beautiful :pinkiesad2: It makes me wish that THIS was the first EQG movie.

This was a really great chapter. I loved the different take on Fluttershy, and I definitely liked that Sunset isn't staying so bitter and is actually enjoying herself.

8029052
In this world, Cinch may respect Celestia even less, because Celestia has lowered herself from her "rightful place".

8035435 That's a fair point. I suspect Cinch would at least pretend to respect Celestia to her face, however.

Tentatively marked Complete so that I can submit it to a contest it almost certainly won't win.

Well at least this Sunset is on a better road now. She will not need a scrubbing with the elements, hopefully.

8036162
Love the story. Here's to hoping that you do well in that contest!

8036162
I think you underestimate the quality of your writing. This is really good.

8036213 Yes, but some people are better.

8036215
True. We can only hope, I suppose.

8036233 Hope is overrated. I prefer to change targets before I know if the harpoon made impact.

Well that turned out nicely. I particularly liked your take on Principal Celestia; I don't recall seeing anyone tackle her in that way.

8036239
Fair enough. Still, it was an excellent piece of work. Keep it up!

Hmm. This is interesting. The redemption of Sunset through Principal Celestia was really well done, though I found that Principal Celestia being Princess felt a little off (was it just for the contest?).
It's difficult to say this without sounding like an asshole, but I mean it as truly constructive criticism. I think that this fic would do very well with a slightly different focus and set up. Building up a world where two Celestia's (probably not in contact) have very similar personalities and having Sunset forced to examine her own misconceptions would be very interesting. Personally, I think a comparison of the two worlds in terms of society and culture would be very interesting, but in this fic it seemed like the only comparisons going on were that Equestria Girls is the modern, enlightened place that Equestria is normally presented as while Equestria is a Victorian dystopia. I presume some of that was Sunset's bitterness, but one thing that struck me was the idea that Sunset would not have any idea of public education, when Equestria fairly demonstrably has some degree of public education, as we can see from Ponyville's school, and frankly, Celestia's School makes just as much sense as a public school with entrance exams similar to post-secondary education wherein Celestia has a role attached to the school, but not in terms of owning it anymore than she owns anything in Equestria, as a monarch.
But this has gotten rambly, and I'm sure fairly confused, so I'll just leave it at this.

8036279 In order;

Yes, Principal Celestia being a princess was purely done in service of loyalty to the contest prompt, though I do think it's kind of interesting regardless.

You don't sound like an asshole, you sound like the kind of feedback I wish people would dole out more frequently. I definitely agree that a more balanced comparison of the various aspects of societal difference would be more interesting, but A) the focus of the story was more emotional, and B) I was on a time-crunch.

As for the public education bit, I'd like to respectfully rebut that her main lack of knowledge shown in the first chapter is as regards who runs schools, and also this story takes place roughly thirty years before the events of the show. The perspective of Equestria being slightly less advanced in this story is mostly a deliberate choice to subtly point out that Sunset's Equestria is the past, not the present.

As for Celestia privately running her academy, I admit that's mostly just headcanon.

Interesting. The mention of aptitude tests made me wonder if you altered the story due to reader feedback, or if this was another case where we should calm down and trust the author. "Keep calm and read on", maybe?
I would like to see more of this. The ending felt a little abrupt, but perhaps it was because I was hoping to keep reading it for some time.

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