Forgiveness Is For Others

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Starlight Glimmer, depressed over the actions of her past she goes to watch the sunset when Trixie show up and talks to her about forgiveness.

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This story is based on this video.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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Opium4TmassS

Opium4TmassS #1 · Feb 25th, 2016 · 4 · ·

I think you did a pretty good job of it.

CrystalMoon884

CrystalMoon884 #2 · Feb 25th, 2016 · 1 · ·

I liked it, the story did a very good job of giving a little but of stories to characters who really needed it, I really liked it.
I can't wait to read your next story!

Frankie2

Frankie2 #3 · Feb 25th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Yes, Trixie's and Starlight's conversation were almost word-for-word of that YouTube clip. I still liked this story though because it almost fits perfectly. Though I think Sunset Shimmer would have been a better choice. It's hard for me to picture Trixie actually saying that and Trixie is my favorite pony.

josue

josue #4 · Feb 25th, 2016 · · ·

6972468 hi so you joined team rocket pinkie pie lol

josue

josue #5 · Feb 25th, 2016 · · ·

good story you did a good job telling it

deadpansnarker

deadpansnarker #6 · Feb 25th, 2016 · 2 · ·

I likes these quick, quality one-shots. Just the sort of thing I can enjoy while having a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit. I am British after all, you know.

steelthunder

steelthunder #7 · Feb 26th, 2016 · · ·

Eventually you stop caring about the guilt.

Sirlink360

Sirlink360 #8 · Feb 26th, 2016 · 1 · ·

NICE!

PioneeringAuthor

PioneeringAuthor #9 · Mar 3rd, 2016 · 1 · ·

Hi there!

I think this story is very beautiful, and I could see something like this actually happening in the show.

However, I just want to add that it is possible to forgive yourself, it just takes a lot of time and love from others.

Anyway, overall your grammar is pretty good, although it could use a few tweaks.

"Trixie spoke her voice both smooth and calming, ..."

the adjectives "both smooth and calming" interrupt the sentence, so put a comma before and after them.

"...familiarity then confusion, before she could open her mouth to speak ..."

Because these are two sentences, put a "but" after the comma there.

Furthermore, you used "then" when it should be "than."

I know, grammar is annoying at times, but you did do a pretty good job of taking care of the story and making it clear. You also captured the somber, bittersweet mood very beautifully.

Great job!

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

DR-Fluffy