APRIL FOOLS: 2216 - Idiocy in Spring
“I love this show…” Discord said happily to himself from his comfortable sofa in his personal house- well, if one could consider an entire dimension to be his house. He was gazing at a television on his wall showing Twilight Sparkle as a changeling playing what looked like chess with a thoroughly flabbergasted Queen Chrysalis.
“I know,” the other Discord laughed to himself. “I of course knew her identity the whole time, but not revealing it created so much chaos that I couldn't resist just watching it play out. Of course I was also quite stoned at the time.”
Discord one gave Discord dos a high-five. “I am quite saddened that I missed such an opportunity.”
“Make one.” Discord dos encouraged with a little nudge-nudge and wink-wink. “After all, things have been pretty boring on my side of things since Serpens bit the dust. We could use a bit more chaos over there.”
Discord one pondered this thoughtfully, a big tree with blue leaves appearing beneath him. “Yes, perhaps, but the chaos as a result would potentially cause damage to dimensional barriers.
“And when has that ever stopped us?”
“We like not dying?”
“Eh, whatever. This isn’t canon anyway, sort of, so who cares?”
“Fair enough. So, where shall we put them?”
“Let’s flip a coin!” Discord dos announced excitedly, a massive circle of copper appearing in his claws.
“Heads it’s mine, tails it’s yours?”
“Sure!”
And then the coin was flipped.
“How the BUCK did you manage this?!” Tone Shift demanded, throwing the thoroughly destroyed washcloth to the ground in front of Chrysalis in his kitchen. Chrysalis looked at him before using her magic to wipe the splattered egg yolk off of her face.
“Did you just throw down the gauntlet with a washcloth?” she asked teasingly, earning a twitch of Tone’s eye.
“I asked you a question. Answer. Do it!” Tone stomped on the floor. At about the time he did, they both heard a loud POP!
“...Where are we?” Tone Shift quickly asked, looking around at the rather large chamber.
“This one was not my fault,” Chrysalis snidely remarked.
“Check,” Twilight stated smugly, much to Chrysalis’ supreme annoyance.
“How did you even do that?” she asked. “I had you cornered!”
“You should never underestimate me,” Twilight responded, her smug look not abating for even a moment. “I am, after all, the former protege of Princess Celestia, the master of chess.”
“Playing chess with your lives, in order to redeem her sister, doesn’t count.”
Twilight shrugged. “Meh, I forgave her. Friendship is magic and all that.”
“Please stop saying that,” Chrysalis deadpanned. “Who even came up with that phrase? It sounds like something for children.”
“Adults can also learn the magic of friendship,” Twilight argued. “It doesn’t have to be all explosions and death.”
“Not with our track record.”
“Err… my Queen?” Carduus said over the hive mind. “You are in Cafe’ Le Blanc right now, correct?”
Twilight and Chrysalis glanced at one another in confusion.
“Yes, why would you even need to ask such a thing. I’m enjoying an infuriating game of chess with my daughter.”
“Then why are you also shouting at a pony in front of your mother’s statue?”
“WHAT?”
Twilight sighed. “It’s probably just Thorax playing a joke or something.”
“It better be,” Chrysalis grumbled. “Are you sure it’s me, because I’m pretty sure I’m here. Let me check… yes, definitely here.”
“I’ve checked, and no drone here is claiming responsibility. Plus the other… you, is being rather rude to the poor stallion. I’m a little confused to be honest.”
Chrysalis’ eye twitched. “Twilight, this is your fault somehow.”
Twilight looked offended. “What!? How do you figure that?”
“Everything happens to you,” she pointed out. “Ancient evils, friendship lessons, Pinkie Pie. Serpens. It all happens to you and only you.”
“I would remember cloning you in the mirror pool,” Twilight argued back. “No, this one isn’t on me.”
“Well, whoever’s fault it is, could you please come here? The other you is starting to notice she isn’t alone with the stallion… and it’s scaring me.”
“You’re a Captain of the Royal Guard, grow some backbone!” Chrysalis chastised Carduus.
“But I need an adult,” Carduus stated, though his tone indicated he was joking.
“You ARE an adult!” Chrysalis raged.
“I feel like we’re stalling right now,” Princess Twilight pointed out. “We should probably see what really is going on. I mean, it can’t really be another you. And what is a pony even doing here?”
“It might be the pony’s fault then,” Chrysalis muttered. “I’m going to have words with him, and demand he dispel the obviously fake doppelganger at once!”
Chrysalis slammed her hooves onto the table (breaking the chessboard, much to Twilight’s irritation) and stood up, striding out of the cafe’ seeming with rage.
Twilight had a very bad feeling all of a sudden. It was saturday after all.
“What is this place?!” Chrysalis asked loudly, causing several nearby changeling drones to scatter in panic. “And why are there changelings here?! I don’t know any of you!” She pointed at one in a suit of armor, who flinched away. “WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!”
“Uh… Carduus…” he said, taking a step back.
“Chrysalis, calm down. Shouldn’t this be a good thing?” Tone asked carefully, before realizing what he just said. “Or rather, good for you? Equestria’s kinda screwed if so, but still!”
“The only Carduus I ever had in my kingdom was a cleansing drone! He cleaned out latrines, gutters and did janitorial work!” Chrysalis spluttered, glaring at ‘Carduus’ with a confused anger radiating off of her.
“Well, if these drones listen to you will you make sure they don’t try to eat me or whatever?” Tone asked, suddenly becoming very nervous as he saw all of the fangs on the drones looking at the two.
“I’ll consider it.” Chrysalis spat at him before looking around. Her eyes twitched as she looked at the big statue in the middle of the big room. “WHAT IS GOING ON?!” she shouted.
“I should be asking that of you, imposter!” Chrysalis, the other one, retorted as she exited her flight and slammed into the floor between the intruders and Captain Carduus. “Pony! Dispel the illusion this instant!”
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?!” Chrysalis, the first one, shouted back, jabbing a hoof in her direction. Tone Shift absently brushed a hoof over his mane, which conspicuously had no horn jutting from it.
“I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Badlands Changeling Hive! You are in my domain, and I demand to know why YOU LOOK LIKE ME!”
“Uh, I’m not a unicorn,” Tone said meekly from where he stood. “So, I can’t be doing this…”
“I knew that!” Chrysalis lied.
“Huh… telling them apart is gonna be a challenge.” Discord muttered to his other.
“Indeed.” Discord dos said absently. “Let’s just make a mild change here shall we…?”
“Ooh, we’re changing names?” Discord one asked excitedly.
“Oh, of course! The nice one shall, henceforth, be known as Chryssi!”
“Which one is the nice one?”
“Why does that drone look like the Princess of Friendship?” Chrysalis demanded with more anger in her voice, pointing at a now very confused Princess Twilight Sparkle just as the young changeling arrived.
‘What!?” Chryssi asked. ‘That’s my daughter you cu-”
“There we go.”
“Got it.”
“So… what’s going on here?” Twilight asked. “Making friends are we?”
“Friends?” Chrysalis snarked out. “I don’t think so.”
“Wow, you must be a loner,” Chryssi remarked. “I feel sorry for you.”
“Shut up!” Chrysalis barked before looking around again. “And send us back!”
“Definitely an alternate reality then,” Twilight started, walking up to Chrysalis and looking over her as a scientist would a guinea pig. “What’s your world like? What am I like there, the other Princess Twilight I mean.”
“Oh, sweet merciful Chitina it’s another one…” Chrysalis groaned in aggravation. “Somepony pinch me and wake me from this nightmare…”
“So, you’re not my mother where you come from?” Twilight asked, a little hurt in her voice.
“Considering your bull-headed brother and his wife ruined my initial plans and plunged my kingdom into a few years of starvation, all because you, or, well, the other you, noticed Cadance was being off...” Chrysalis snarled out. “I would sooner bash my brains out then have you as a daughter.”
Chryssi, on seeing her child insulted, quickly crossed the distance between herself and her counterpart and looked ready to cross horns in combat.
“YOU DARE INSULT MY DAUGHTER!?” Chryssi yelled. “Our mother, Queen Avia, would be appalled at the changeling you became in your world!”
“Congratulations. I don’t care.” Chrysalis snapped. “Also, who is Queen Avia? My mother wasn’t named Avia, and I simply took over from her when she eventually passed away."
“Well, at least you don’t have Crudelis for an aunt,” Chryssi muttered. “Not that it matters, it looks like you are a suitable replacement.”
As the argument continued on, Twilight could have sworn she saw a glowing crack appear in the base of the statue, before it vanished again.
“I don’t have an aunt anyway,” Chrysalis said dismissively. "So are all these drones yours, or did Sparkle Butt over there birth some?"
Chryssi's and Twilight's eyes widened. "W-what?"
"Birthed, you know? Popped them out en-masse to create an army capable of laying siege to the land."
Chryssi swore she was about to throw up. "I... NO! No no no no, just no!"
Chrysalis was confused by her other's odd reaction, but simply rolled her eyes before turning to Tone Shift. “I don’t know how you stomping your hoof brought us here; maybe it was just poor timing or your hoof is magic in some way, but right now, I don’t care. We. are. LEAVING.”
Tone nodded sheepishly. ‘Uh, sure…” he said, trying to hide that he had just seen the phrase ‘-yours, Discord and Discord dos.’ burned into his hoof.
“Well,” Twilight spoke up. “Unless you have a mirror portal conveniently stashed in the large ego of yours, then you’re stuck here. Too bad for you.”
“Piss off!” Chrysalis snapped before picking up Tone Shift in her magic and buzzing off, much to Chryssi’s relief.
“My Queen,” Carduus addressed. “We really shouldn’t let them leave. What if she tries to attack Princess Celestia or something and they think it’s you?”
Chryssi began to realise the implications. “Shit.”
Twilight sighed, and then took the initiative. “Lockdown the hive, now! Apprehend the Chrysalis carrying around the pony like I used to carry Smarty Pants!”
Chrysalis looked around with Tone Shift flailing in her magic and panicking hysterically, begging for Chrysalis to keep him right-side up while she went, to which she simply spun him faster out of spite. “Where is the exit…” she grumbled to herself.
“There!” another voice shouted from below. Chrysalis looked down, saw a small swarm of drones flying at her with swords drawn.
“This is NOT how I thought today was going to go!” Chrysalis yelled as she quickly flew the other way. The drones gave chase, only to pass Chrysalis completely. She had taken on the form of a candlestick and hid Tone Shift behind a wall-mounted tapestry after knocking him out.
Once the drones had passed, a little, tiny drone peeked around at them from a nearby corner. “Huh?” the nymph, Iuvenes, asked as she approached the candlestick. “Why is this here?” she asked with an adorable amount of childish curiosity. She poked the candlestick, causing Chrysalis to drop the disguise as one of her most sensitive spots just got pokes.
“Yeep!” Chrysalis squeaked, her hold on Tone failing and he dropped to the floor with a sound not unlike a wet sack of tomatoes falling over.
“You look like the Queen,” Iuvenes noted, but a frown showed she wasn’t sure. “But you also look like a big jerk!”
Tone Shift, starting to wake up, mumbled: “You are correct…”
“Shut up!” Chrysalis snapped at both of them. “How did you know I was right here?”
“My friends and I always play hide and seek here, and that candle was new! So I poked it.”
“Play?” Chrysalis replied, wording it as if it were a foreign phrase she was trying to figure out the pronunciation of. “Oh, I see. I think.” She gave an impressed grin. “You’re using such a game to improve your stealth! Why didn’t I think of that? You’re… er, hive may not be such a shitshow after all.”
“You said a bad word,” Iuvenes scolded. “And I don’t play for practice, I play for fun!”
“First, yes, I said a bad word. Fucking deal with it. Second, good, you have fun being sneaky. You’ll make a fine infiltrator. Now piss off. I’m leaving.” Chrysalis picked up a now very motion sick Tone Shift in her magic again and flew away.
“...Jerk…” Iuvenes pouted.
Just as Chrysalis made her escape, however, she had the ultimate misfortune of running into and being grappled rather violently by her EXTREMELY pissed off counterpart.
“Hold her down!” Chryssi ordered, many drones grabbing onto the other Changeling Queen where they could.
Princess Twilight, for her part, was just making notes on a pad marked ‘interdimensional relations and how they can royally fuck up’.
“Damn! How did you find me!?”
“My daughter said you told her a bad word over the hive mind,” Captain Carduus replied. “Fuck you for that, by the way.”
“Hypocrite…” Chrysalis snarled before tilting her head as she was hefted up with her forehooves covered in green slime. “Hive mind? You have that?”
Twilight immediately entered research mode. “The Changeling Egregore, or hive mind, is a startling evolutionary advantage. It allows communication between changelings at close ranges, but not much else. Each changeling is on their own unique-”
“Bored now. Shut up,” Chrysalis interrupted, earning an annoyed snort from Chryssi and a pout from Twilight.
It was during her pout (no one disses booksmart!) that Twilight noticed the cracks again, only this time they weren’t going away.
“Um, Mother? Could you look at-”
“Don’t interrupt my daughter, you half-wit!” Chryssi growled at Chrysalis, very much so ignoring Twilight at this point as ‘mama wolf’ mode kicked in.
“Or what?” Chrysalis challenged, using some of her own magic to remove the green slime at her hooves.
Chryssi had finally had enough, and with a heavily twitching eye she ignited a blade of pure magic. “There can only be one!”
A chunk of the hive’s wall nearby broke away, floating in mid-air as purple light and weird energies were seen on the other side.
“Looks like it’s breaking…” Discord dos commented.
“Aw, so soon? I had too much popcorn for this!”
By now Twilight had started to panic quite a bit. The whole universe was breaking apart, so on this rare occasion she was actually justified.
“I didn’t survive getting shanked just to die to the inevitable heat death of the universe!” Twilight shouted to herself. “Not like this! I still have three sequels to survive!”
The changeling princess suddenly realised she had done a Pinkie Pie, and she blamed the fact that the universe had literally fallen apart. Tone Shift stumbled over and showed her his hoof with the Discord and Discord Dos signature.
“Not to be a killjoy, but… we’re screwed,” he said simply.
Twilight stared at it, still ignoring the fact that her mother and her mother’s alternate were cat fighting in the corner with a crowd of changelings making bets as to who would win.
“Oh Celestia dammit, DISCORD!”
And then the universe caved in on itself.
“Well, that was short-lived…” Discord grumbled to his other.
“It was, but at least it was fun. And besides,” Discord dos gave a smirk, snapping his fingers and popping the whole of reality back to where it had been just before they started this nonsense. “We can always do it again…”
“I love you.”
“No homo, now.”
THE END
(Now back to our scheduled program)
So... this was a thing. 
This was a collaberation with Skijarama and his fanfiction Bug in the Herd.
And why not? It's April Fools, Skijarama did a reading of Change (which is pretty fucking amazing) and, well... I wanted to see my Chrysalis interact with a more canon oriented Chrysalis.
Anyway, back to darker depressing stuff (not all the time or forever though, promise!).
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Lol, so much chaos, so little time...
Discord is awesome, Cannon Chryssie sucks, 'nuff said.
Good story though, now, how to
brainwash cannon Chryssie intomakecannon Chryssie want to be a likeable character.Also, just because I can, First!
8065953 *Second. Also, the more canon oriented Chrysalis gets better over time in the story she stars in.
Three sequels to live? Wait a minute...
I was waiting for someone to release an April Fool's chapter/story.
8066093
Lol, few stories actually make me laugh, this chapter did, congratz! On a different note this was a great April Fools chapter, but did you still plan on making a regular chapter this week? Pleeaasee
Also wtf, I'm so very confused to the point of wanting to know why Discord would destroy an entire universe, sounds like some serious loss of life, y'know. this chapter also makes me want to know what changeling Equestria Girls Twilight would look like
Also
shift is part of his name, therefore, capitalized. You're welcome Tom, and Skijarama
8066238
Of course.
He put it back together and erased the event from the timeline, it's fine. As for Equestria Girls, the same as canon Equestria Girls.
"I still have three sequels to survive"
THAT BETTER NOT BE AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE
8066369 Bear in mind one of those sequels is Queen of the Hive itself.
And yes, it's a tetralogy.
this is grate I love it.
8066378
fanfilly squeal
I enjoyed this intermission
I actually wanted cannon Alicorn twilight to meet changeling twilight
... those two seriously need to get a seperate, personal pocket dimension and JUST BUCK ALREADY!!! >w<
Three sequels? Awesome.
and now cue twilight someohow getting her memory back of this and discord getting the feeling hes gonna be slapped
Damn Discord, trying to ruin another story
Dammnit
Heh
Why was this moved to at the end of the story?
9117605
Eh, just so it didn't disrupt the flow mid-way through. It's a non-canon gag after all.
9117746
Ah I see, that's a fair & reasonable. Thx 4 answering!
9126885
Forgot about that
9127462
Don't be smart, boy
9127316
I don't know how you gathered that 'I don't like her' from her lack of appearances in this universe. I like Starlight just fine (the reformed version, anyway), her lack of appearances here is mostly down to the simple lack of a cutie map to lead them there.
Which meant Our Town was never discovered, and it was defenceless against the changelings when they rocked up and started setting fires.
coughMean 6cough
Immortalis is dead. She was already dead after Celestia got done with her, but using her dark magical bullshittery to remain in the world of the living through all changelings. With that hive mind destroyed, Immortalis had no lifeline, and quickly perished for good.
You mean like literally one of the most popular FoE side fics? Not a good comparison for the point you're trying to make.
And Avia is lighthearted fluff for a reasons. A break from the dark before the plunge.
9137593
Hey, I have fun overthinking things (I just can't seem to think of why that is).
But honestly though I didn't actually expect that to be the case. I just made that comment for the sake of responding to Pinkie's comment.
9141260
Um Tempest was able to repel a beam from the Storm King's scepter which had 4 Alicorns power within it, plus magic theft doesnt' scale linerly it scales exponetially as we saw with Tirek. Discord is definately stronger than 4 Alicorns yet that boosted him more than Discord's did because each one increased his power on an exponential scale.
9151922
Ah i see. I think i was under the impression that change: avia was taking place directly after this. Everything makes sense now. XD
9153728
It takes place directly after the Epilogue, but the Epilogue is twenty two years after the chapter before it, as like in the first story Twilight was telling Avia about Queen of the Hive's events.
I mean, how could Change: Avia come directly after the Battle of Canterlot when Avia in the Epilogue is 10 and in everything but the Epilogue she hasn't even born yet? I mean, her parents meet for the first time right after the battle's end. XD
9267265
Our spellings were here first.
Radar has picked up a helicopter going soi soi soi.
9371811
Oh ok
That's right Discord it's not gay when you say no homo.
9694697
That is an error. Fixed.
9864547
Also, cows are colorblind, so the claim that bulls are enraged by the color red is a myth. Same with the "bull in a china shop" phrase. You'd actually be surprised how careful they'd actually be. (I'm a fan of Mythbusters if you couldn't tell.)
9890515
9939427
Ah a stand user, STAR PLATINUM! ZA WARLDO
9694891
So on the cover art, who is who?
9952945
Twilight on the left, which is obvious given she matches the last cover just older.
The right is the Empress.
9956240
It was till Twilight went dark
10022814
The thing about autorotation though, is that it doesn't matter how much power the engine has, if it can fly, it can autorotate. When the helicopter falls through the air, the air particles that the rotor pushes against to generate lift are instead rotating the rotor. Since an object has a finite abount of potential energy, the energy it takes to rotate the rotor actually slows the decent of the craft, being basically a spinning parachute.
It makes even less sense in your world, as every mention of the spells to keep thr aircraft aloft describe the function of the spells as levitation, which would further slow the decent of these magical helicopters. The only way this crash would happen logically in your story would be if the spells weren't levitation, but were there to assist the engine in rotating the main rotor, as a loss of power would shut off the engine, but not the spells, and then the spells would be actively resisting autorotation.
10023657
I assume you're also forgetting the fact that those spells you mention would stop it crashing burst along with everything else. When it went down there was nothing powering it, magic or otherwise. It was dead.
And the trees, again. There's a reason it's preferable to make emergency landings in a clearing. All it takes is for something to spark and hit the fuel for a fireball to occur, which is why crashing aircraft tend to try and dump their fuel. At least in planes, not as much of an option there for a helicopter.
10023701
But it literally wouldn't require anything to autorotate. It just kind of happens. If the engine has no power, the main rotor could freely rotate. All autorotation needs is free rotation of the main rotor. As for the explosion upon impact, that depends on the fuel the craft uses. If it is anything like real life, we can expect the fuel to be kerosene based, which could explode as it will burn in its liquid state. If it's gasoline based, there would be no explosion, as gasoline does not readily burn in its liquid state. As such, we will assume the fuel is kerosene based, and possible to explode upon impact. This still doesn't account fot the origin of the crash. Autorotation happens unless there is something to prevent tje rotor from spinning. Helicopters use a freewheel device to allow this, and would be mechanically similar to a transmission, which we know they know how to make, because the tail rotor runs off a transmission to resist the torque created by the main rotor.
10023725
However real-world aircraft work (I'm not an engineer, not by a long shot. I admit you are likely more knowledgable on the subject that I), the one here crashed. What happened happened. And we're arguing the mechanical structure of a fictional non-existent device that uses literal magic in its construction and overall function.
And, at the end of the day, whether you agree or not that the aircraft should have 'dropped like a stone' after being assaulted by dozens of shapeshifted changelings, it did strike those trees at speed, get broken up, and light like a match. Had it hit a clearing like the other two, it may have been a little more intact. But alas, it is not so.
That is my final word on the subject.
10023742
Alright, fair enough. I'll just pretend they shot the rotor off.
10023791
Fair enough. XD
10037620
Killing her off was a tough decision, but I'm glad you share the same thoughts about it I do. In the end, she was strong enough to decide her own fate. In her own way, she beat Immortalis.
10038387
Ḅ̴͓͔̺̖͖͂̈́̄̕͜u̴͙̥͚͚̻̤̮̇͆̉͝͠t̵͓̼̺͉̞̟͊͘ ̶̢͕̦̫̜͎͈̝̖͉̩̳̏͒͌̀o̵̲̥͖̥̞̫̒̅̀͐͝f̷͉͙̦͔̹͎̣̝̏̊̆̅͋̽ ̷̢̢̡͓͍̟͖͖̥̞͇͓͑̏̆̂̇̆̔̑͑̚͘͝c̶̡̪̲͈̬̭͚̦̤̰̤̾̓̃̑̃͒̾̓̀̿̂̉̑͛͘ò̶̙͍̫͓͒u̶͖̒͠r̷̨̧̢̢̲̪̻̲̘̟͔̳͍̪̠͐̿̃̾̏́̊́͗͝ṡ̵̨̰̠̩̞̩̝̬̝̖͗̒̃̽̿͋͘̕͝ḛ̷̢̢̫̤͓̳̻̖̽͘,̶̢̱̦̲͙̖̼̭͍̓́̃ ̸̨̡̧̧̭̔͂̆͝s̸̛̮̤͕͔̲̖̗̟̒͂͒̒̔̆̓́̃̾̚ͅh̷̡̧̺͔̙̣͖͈̣͉͉̏̐̈͆̍̾̍̽̂͋̎̋e̴͓̤̖̗̠̞͇̭͉͔̗̹̪̘̣̔̅̇͊͋̈́͋ ̴̡̳̖̮̮̘͓̺̹͎͔̏͑̈́̇͂͗̀́̈̈́͝i̴̹̮̟̦͖̩̬̞͉̞̼͊̏̂̄̌̈́͗͐̑́̏̊͠͝s̵͓͚̤̦̬̯̩̰̤̯̲̼͉̔̈͋͂͌̕̕͝͝ ̴͍͖̘͗͐̍̔̓̔̓̑̓̿̇̕ͅà̴̳͎̺͎̜͙̭̱̤̫̘̤̄̊͂̈́͛̏̍̈̈̋͌̕͠ḽ̵̨̢̝̥̞̼̬͓̻͇̭̪̍̽̒̋̽̔̓͆̽͜ļ̷̨̦̹͉̯̜͈̣̹͈̪̣̱̀͒̀̌̑̓͝.̴̝̪̣̠͚̪͚̳͍͙͓̪̰̅̊̿̑.̶̡̧̗̹̪̳͔̫̝̣̇͆̌̾͂̋͌̓͝ͅ.̵͔͔̽̊̒͝ͅ
10212140
No! She's a good horse!