Somewhere underground, Princess Celestia and Queen Chrysalis have woken up in a cave, in glass boxes with a box with two buttons nearby them, a ticking clock on the wall, and plenty of bombs over their heads. From a phonograph recording, a mysterious voice gives them a choice: Either press a button that will give one of them what they want or cause disaster to their nations, or wait until time runs out for the bombs over their heads to go off.
A special thank you to SecretBrony01 for proofreading this story.
Chapters (1)
It's unique...
This is awesome! It reminds me of those sorta cliche stories where the heroes get kidnapped\Trapped and a last moment redemptive action saves them.
Very unique, I liked this. Could use editing like you mentioned but I can see beyond that to the story itself. Well done. ^.^
You sorta have a few minor typo stuff but then again I was more bothered by the "starving thing". However the end still surprised me and I liked it.
Kudos.
I've seen this exact same thing in Doctor Who.
Twilight's smart
Interesting. This is REALLY interesting.
...a unique enough situation that the like is indeed earned!
Hi! I am currently proofreading/editing this story as I read it. I hope you like the small edits of mine! ;)
Interesting set-up you've got here. Always nice to see changeling-redemption handled in unique ways. Have an upvote.
6962288 "And we're off! Fingers on buzzers! Are you feeling lucky? Are you ready to play the game?"
6962288
The Osgood Boxes, I wonder if there was a spell to wipe their memories so they could start again anywhere and how often it had to be used.
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6962288 I admit, I've seen the episode too and it's obvious that I've taken an inspiration to that famous scene, yet, wrote it in a unique a way and situation. Unlike Doctor Who, this story doesn't have a mediator to prevent either of them pressing those buttons.
6962387 have you ever heard of a "Spoiler Alert"...
Also great story and I have finished proofreading.
Very nice! But honestly kinda predictable, I pretty much figured it out
6963511 It was just an idea that I wanted to get out of my head. As predictable as it was, I just wanted to do something different then what I'm normally been doing.
6963522 Gocha! i'm like that to, it was very well written though!
6963529 And freshly edited as well, the guy told me that he found a few hic-ups here and there, but overall, I'm pleased in how well it turned out to be.
6963534 Yeah! You should make a part 2 where Celestia finds out Twilight had did it
The Prisoners Dilemma, yay!
Aw, damn. I wanted to know who it was.
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Indigo mare, called majesty as well as lilac princess that means twilight likely set it up
7042665 No, I mean the one Twilight hired, not her, that's pretty obvious.
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Flash sentry, she could easily manipulate him and he was assigned to the crystal empire as a new recruit so its likely he hasnt met celestia or chrysalis
7042812 Only that it seems that Twi may not even know who it is, since he said:
"“Very well, but since I’m out of the box, if I sense anything that you want to betray me, I will call my Changelings here.”"
Well, Chrysalis, Celestia would be equally legitimate to mistrust you as your mistrust her,
to keep in mind that you might try to betray the truce.
" “Have you forgotten about what we had to do in Canterlot, at the Royal Wedding? Do you honestly think that we’ll even get any ounce of support after our desperate attempt to eat?”"
Chrysalis ... you should have thought about that before trying to take over Equestria, you know?
"“Probably not right away, but I always will be the first to offer the option of negotiation to prevent a war if I can.”"
Sure. The Changelings didn't have any qualm in attacking you. They didn't even bother to try diplomacy. And Equestrians would be to blame?
"rest with the endless planning, the recruits, the encouragement of creating the next best weapon to kill off your enemies"
Sure. Let your defenses down. Don't keep your military might up to date.
That will sure deter others from attacking you, huh?
"“Because when it comes to monsters, I see myself as the biggest one there is in this room! At least you’re doing what you’re doing out of good intentions."
Of course. Invading Equestria ... out of good intentions.
Chrysalis is blatantly stating that she doesn't care about the Equestrian lives, that because her people dies by the thousands, the Equestrians are not allowed to live either.
As if only Changeling lives mattered. Yet she's not a monster?
She and her people have done nothing else but being the same thing they reproach to Equestrians.
This story is, as far as I see it, a stream of mud being thrown at Equestria as a whole.
But is Chrysalis' hive perfect? She allows herself to talk trash of Equestria, but is she beyond reproach?
Celestia, the biggest monster? At least, unlike Chrysalis, she didn't invade nor try to enslave anyone.
Her reaction with Luna becoming Nightmare Moon was sure late, but she couldn't change what was happening at the moment NMM face her.
She did the best she could do at the moment.
Isn't that having the best intentions for one's people?
Also, granting Changelings Equestrian citizenship?
Is that really the best interest of Equestria to let Changelings, enemies of Equestria, enter its territory without having their changeling identities openly visible?
The first thing Celestia should have done was to thoroughly investigate which of the guards let themselves being bribed, and duly punish them for high treason.
If they let themselves off like that once, they're not trustworthy.
Sorry for the rant. But I had to get it out of my system.
No you're not.
It would have been better if you just go straight to the point and say that I've written a bad story.
No, they have 12 minutes left .
I think she should have mentioned that Celestia is the ONLY one in power that would give the changelings a chance. if she died but had her wishes to give the changelings a chance then the nobility would simply ignore it. and Luna would still be hot-headed. Cadence is biased because of her wedding and twilight would back up cadence
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44 + 12 does not equal 60 to get to the next hour. They would still have four minutes left until the bombs go off over their heads, as the time would be 11:56.
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And despite (hopefully) the author not being an idiot, he just took that comment for granted. Learning the author changed that just ruined this for me.
Needs a good editing, in my opinion. Your grammar is all over the place, and I keep finding myself editing in my head on the fly, which distracts from actually reading the story. Which is a shame as you seem to have a good one here.
If you fix the grammar, and maybe even give it a bit of a rewrite, you'll have a great story here. As it is, it just feels like an unpolished work. Can't really recommend it.
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Wanna volunteer?
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Not particularly. I still need to work on my own stuff. And I think I might've flaked out on something like this a while back. I'd rather not make any promises until I'm sure I'll keep them.
Doctor whooves was behind this