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A griffon interviews a grown Spike on the last days of the Kingdom of Equestria, and his personal relationship with the nation’s greatest villain. For history is written by the winners, and Spike and his mentor were on the losing side.
A possible future, set years after the show.
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This looks cool, you should make a sequel.
nice work a bit rushed in some places, but nice all the same.
I can't see Twilight being that much a of chess master, but I do find the idea intriguing.
Fair point about Twilight not being a chess master in the series, but between her brains and Celestia's example she could grow into the role. I tried to cover that in the story with the line: “Yea. She was an amazing chess player. Always thought more moves ahead than anypony but her mentor. When she turned her attention towards politics and finally figured out how to deal with other ponies…”
I enjoy the idea but... it seems like everything is Twilight's responsibility. I think it would've appreciated it more if she was just... regularly brilliant, rather than "this person invented almost everything in the world worth having." Or possibly has some kind of lynchpin that makes her so important, and everything flowing from it.
But I really like the concept of "Twilight opened the world of friendship (and the powerful world-saving/changing magic it confers) to the other races, and the ponies, used to feeling like they were the center of the world, hate her for it."
6867220 Sounds like Twilight channeled her inner Lelouch and made her own Zero Requiem.
6865813 I'm in agreement.
You know I like this, and even if I usually don't get into a story with OCs I will ready a sequel to this even if it is all exclusively OCs. I do hope you might plan for one in the near future.
This feels too much like an overglorification of Twilight. I hesitate to call it a Sueification, but literally making Twilight the foundation of future society, praised by pretty much everyone except the designated "bad guys," having her solve pretty much every problem ever, the "United Species of Equestria" drivel...
Yeah, I'm saying it. You made her a Sue. The same mare who once brainwashed an entire town and is incapable of reacting quickly to a bouncing disco ball is suddenly a paragon of rulership and friendship, where every other pony is vilified. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
And of course she's martyed in the end. This falls under a certain archetype of story that just piles on "tragedy" on top of "tragedy" until you feel like the universe has something against them.
Thanks for all the thoughtful feedback.
Lobo Argost & Xaldon Ajide, I had not heard of Lelouch and Zero Requiem before, but I looked it up online and the parallels are obvious. Is it any good?
RadicalDishonesty & Westbrook87, I see your points about the 'Sueification' of Twilight in this story. When I look at my other stories, I can see I have a weakness for that. In my defense, I don't assume that Spike is an unbiased narrator, or that he has all the information. He is likely to spin the story to make Twilight look good. And anygriffon willing to risk a winter storm in the Crystal Mountains to talk to him may also have an agenda. But as Spike and Gwendolyn are all the reader has to go on, you both have reasonable points.
If I ever do a sequel, I might have Gwendolyn interview someone who is not quite so reflexively pro-Twilight. I think it would be best if it was a canon character. Suggestions?
I would adore a sequel!
6870926 Who else be living this long to do so? But at the same time, many of her changes could've caused problems, rapid industrialization and quickly forced change would cause many problems, I mean can you imagine the problems for the Apples traditions if rapid industrialization comes about ? The destruction of the noble lines seemed rather petty to force a change as well considering there's still a (useless) king line, along with an expansion on this "War in heaven" that apparently had no problems or anything because she somehow planned it 100%
While I don't imagine Spike looking 100% at the picture, I highly doubt Twilight had everything as a perfect Utopia when the people afterwords are certainly aren't calling it one.
6870926 Well if age wasn't the issue then I would say that Trixie would be an okay first but after a bit of thought I might have to say that if you could find a cannon Changeling that we can say went to isolation like Spike in this story and that Changeling will tell Gwendolyn what Chrysalis thought about Twilight because of the Hivemind
6870926
If I may be so bold, I'd say Discord.
Neat! Short, but neat. On one hand, I think it's really bare bones, but on the other hand it gives just enough information for it to whet the appetite without overstaying its welcome. Overall, I enjoyed it. Nice work!
History may be written by the victors, but the truth is found a hundred years by archaeologists after the victors are dead.
The truth will out, as the old farts in rocking chairs say. *rocks in his rocker* GET OFF MAH LAWN!!
6867683 Twilight = Al Gore and created the Internet.
Make a sequel and make it a novel about that interview changing things in Equestria, making opinions change. That would be awesome. But thumbs up and favorite for you! Great job, I liked it!
this was very good and I could actually see Twilight doing this. though I suspect everything didn't go a smoothly as Spike tells it and I see Twilight having many mental break downs that Spike either wasn't there for or chose not to revel.
Either way I see this a very great piece of work.
Both seems to be important.
Good story!
Just one small typo:
This was a very interesting story with a fascinating concept behind it. However, I can't help thinking some of the story's potential was wasted. You could have done so much more with the story. I would recommend a full story with flash-backs to guide the reader through Twilight's eventual fall from grace. That would have been epic. Never the less, it was an intriguing story.
6870926 If a sequel is written, it will certainly need to involve someone doing more groundwork. Even if Spike is completely accurate, what he said isn't enough detail for whatever Gwendolyn had in mind. Speaking of which, what was that, exactly? Did she want the truth to know, or the truth to tell? Her question at the end seems a bit confused if not cowardly for a journalist. I suppose if she dug up more dirt than she was expecting then it would be understandable, but on the other hand she is already familiar with the conflicting opinions mentioned.
As for additional canon characters being interviewed, no specific timeline is given but longevity does seem to limit the field. The various Princesses are obvious possibilities, and Discord was mentioned. Even Chrysalis could potentially still be around. But on the other hand, surely the ponies aren't completely monolithic. There may be a town or two that she saved often enough or dramatically enough that the hometown hero aura still survives, or one that erected so many statues that they couldn't be bothered to tear them all down.
Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, faved, and liked/disliked this story. I am very grateful. It has received over twice as much attention as anything else I have posted at Fimfiction. I almost didn’t post it, because I wanted a stronger ending. But the dialogue spoke to me, so I posted it. If I like the sound of the voices so much, perhaps I should do a reading of it.
Zyrah & Starsword, I appreciate the interest in a much longer story. I agree that the idea has legs, but I’m not sure I have the endurance. The longest piece I’ve posted here is only 27K words, and I’m not sure I could even do something that long again. The productivity of many of the authors on this site amaze me!
Wroth, as the story is written, it’s clear that a long time has past since the show, but not exactly how long. A sequel could include an older version of canon characters, perhaps with an explanation as to why they lived to their ripe old age. Or it could be set far enough in the future that all of the characters with normal life spans have passed. Which would be more dramatic?
I reflexively lean toward the later, because it gives me more options to write characters I love. The situation could be like the creation of the film ‘Gosford Park’, which the director made at the time because he knew the generation that lived through that era were expected to pass on soon, and with them any chance of getting first person feedback that would lend reality to his work. Gwendolyn is digging into fact, not fiction, but she may be investigating the last days of the Kingdom of Equestria now, because a few years hence many of the people who lived through those events will have died of old age.
Dimensional Librarian, Killerokie, and FinalFan, I love the suggestions for who to interview. Several of them I hadn’t thought of previously: Discord, Chrysalis, even an wizened and retired Trixie. I am sure they would all have a much different take than Spike.
FinalFan, I agree that Gwendolyn needs to do more groundwork before she reports on anything. Spike’s word is intriguing, but certainly not definitive. And Gwendolyn is conflicted about what she should do next at the end of the story.
Alondro, agreed that we need scholars of all stripes to help us find the truth!
A question, would it be better to do a sequel as a separate story, or say that this story should have been longer and add it here? I don’t know what the custom is about re-opening a completed story. Not committing myself to anything, just wondering about the customs here.
Thanks again!
This was really good and you should consider doing something more with it, We have one dragons view on history but it is of his mother/sister/whatever you want to call them so he might side with her. if you want to contine it maybe you should haev hin interview others that knew her. Like maybe her friends if there still alive quite a bit of tiem seams to have passed Discord is prety much immortal so hes still kicking, Just a thought eather way I just want you to know I enjoyed the story.
6870926 If you want a canon character, and you want the story set in the far future, then you choices are reduced to those who can time travel.
Ergo, I suggest either Time Turner, or Starlight Glimmer.
This was a very interesting read. Loved it so so much and I hope you will expand on this in the future. There is so much potential in this and even for a grown up Spike to do something
Twilight would have got along well with Lelouch.
I agree with Spike; I hate stories where the good guys don't get the credit they deserve or are hated. Dragon Ball Z's Hercule? I have fantasies of killing that guy. FF Tactics Ramza "the Heretic" was a great character, and his best friend stole all his glory. Screw you Delita; I hope you died of that stab wound.
Humility.
6871798
6870926
There's your answer for whom Gwen can interview with a different outlook: The scion of a now-destroyed noble line, whose family gave everything in an ideological conflict that Twilight instigated and who were rewarded for their efforts with seeing their legacy destroyed—in their view, sacrificed as pawns.
You could even make it a descendant of Blueblood's. Maybe she or he even believes it was also payback for a slight done to one of Twilight Sparkle's friends at an important event back when they were all alive.
Though Blueblood or his children might also work as the aforemtioned useless king... Incidentally, what happened to Shining Armor's and Cadance's child? The future prince/princess of the Crystal Empire? Were they ousted as well?
6883855 The thing is, none of the heroes in DBZ wanted the glory and infact preferred Hercule to have it all instead, it tends to be why Hercule is trying to shove money on them so they'll at the very least enjoy some sort of lifestyle to themselves.
Plus, Hercule is a hero in the end considering he was the one who talked down Majin Buu and was the catalyst that helped provide humanity to provide the final Spirit Bomb to hit against Kid buu.
6885530
More like I hate early Hercule when he was bad mouthing the Z fighters, and his befriending Buu, while a good thing, was originally just a scam anyway which reduces the heroics of it. Plus, had Hercule not brain-washed the entire world and gave credit where credit was due, he wouldn't have been needed to help with the spirit bomb; people would have known Goku as a hero and done what he asked.
And yeah, I know the Z fighters didn't want the fame and a lot of other characters in these sort of stories are always noble about. Ramza didn't care, and Lelouch wanted to be the villain for his plan. It still doesn't change the fact that it urks me. In the case of Hercule, he was doing evil purposely, lying and dragging real heroes through the dirt for his own selfish desires. He became a womanizing bully who, even when redeemed, is still an asshole.
Amazing!
Damn, deep plot ideas.
A little rushed, but man you have some great ideas in here. If you ever decide to make more stories in this universe I'd be first in line to read it. Solid work.
You can has review!
10259086
Thank you very much for posting this. The reading was amazing and made me smile all day!
10260031
Yeah ^^’ one of these days I’ll get it through that poodle and nurse to share themselves |-(
But happy to see you smile