• Member Since 17th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Rammy


T

"I can't believe I overlooked something as simple as feathers. It's no wonder you were having trouble. I wish I had more 'dragonish' knowledge to give you..."

Those words will have far reaching consequences when Twilight took those words to heart and contacted the one dragon that she thought could help: Dragon Lord Ember. Whom she sends will shake the very foundations of history and magic.




Book cover from PublicDomainFiles.com

Chapters (6)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 45 )

Now this is interesting. There is a distinct lack of dragon-centric stories on this site, perhaps this shall rectify that oversight?

9221945 No kidding... which is why most of my stories tend to be, if not dragon-centric, Spike-centric, who is also a dragon

Woahh INTRESTING, yeah I haven’t seen a single fan fic similar to this one! I love it, keep right, and please update fast, sorry but I love reading! And tend to get impatient when waiting on books or stories :twilightsheepish::heart:
~Ara
Edit, impatient when author hasn’t posted anything till this very day from 5 years ago, mega Oof
~Ara

9221949
Hmph, in name only... those pones have stifled him. He has no inspiration, no drive, no pride-fervor to spur him on. He has no pride! What is a dragon without pride? Nothing! Less than nothing!

Hopefully this Šizra can kindle the fire in his spirit, or he will remain naught but a whelp.

9221967

I haven’t seen a single fan fic similar to this one!

Well this is just the prologue but I can think of a few that would have some similarities as we go. Of course I know this because I cheat(aka I'm the author). It also helps that there are so few dragon centric stories (even when including Spike-centric because most Spike-centric stories really don't focused on the dragon part much)

please update fast

Well, I shall try. Sadly the longer I've been on this site the longer it seems it takes for me to write a chapter...hopefully that wont be the case with this one. At least you can take heart in that I do try and respond to every comment... unless this story explodes in popularity somehow...

This story seems like it will be very interesting.
Also are you using anything as a basis for the Ancient Draconian?

9222058 6 stories in and someone finally asks this question :facehoof:( at least I think :twilightoops: its possible I may have been asked before and I forgot or decided to be cryptic:pinkiecrazy:... Anyway long story short I can't remember which way it has been a long 4 years after all. Not that it matters since I will be using the language in the chapter titles(among other uses) with its translation so I don't see any reason to not tell or to be cryptic... okay maybe a little cryptic:trixieshiftleft::

Sadly I am no J. R. R. Tolkien and I didn't want to do what every other dragon story does and use Skyrim I looked through a bunch of languages that 'looked,' at least in spelling, dragony(aka hissy like) found one, then I replaced certain letters as follows:
D -> T
P-> Ckt
B -> S
G->Z
K-> ü
N-> Th
M->L
f->?

I know the F came up recently but I'm not sure why I don't have its replacement listed.

It's not perfect, sometimes I have to break up sentences to get what I want or mess with the thesaurus to get the 'right' translated word. I leave it to you to find out the rest.

Very interesting for sure. I can't wait to see where this will go. I really hope this is a Spike Ember story. Seeing her go so far for Spike show that she DOES care even if she is masking it behind duty. Of course even them just being good friends would be cool as well. I wonder how this ancient dragon will think of dragon culture now? Don't let the LITTLE the show has shown you fool you, dragons DO have culture and it is far far more than just being brutes and splashing in lava. The comics go way more into dragons than the show have or best chance ever will

Interesting following story to see what happens

9221978
Woah, that moment when and author you look up to replies :heart: by saying I haven’t seen a story like this one I really mean that I am super happy the story is focused on Spike, and your prologue was great! Don’t worry I can wait a while, just don’t leave a 5+ year gap between when you wright the next chapter I can think of few authors who completely abandoned great stories and just left me hanging :twilightsheepish:
~Ara

9222544

I wonder how this ancient dragon will think of dragon culture now?

Don't let the LITTLE the show has shown you fool you, dragons DO have culture and it is far far more than just being brutes and splashing in lava. The comics go way more into dragons than the show have or best chance ever will

Sadly... maybe... I will not be using the comics for anything because I don't have easy access to them or even detailed plots a la wiki so like the show I will for the most part ignore them. Also given how contradictory the show has gotten ( i mean seriously the whole pillars plotline:twilightangry2::facehoof: retconing so much of the lore from earlier seasons and not in a good way) So before I go fully into a rant mode just know I will be constructing both as we go(got to love that AU tag)

This was interesting for sure.I do have to say that this dragon didn't do a good job at all at making a good impression of himself. I mean he came off as a real volatile character to everyone. Not to mention WHAT could he have to effect Discord. I mean the guy is older than Celestia and is more or less a force of nature half the time that can bend reality to his will. So what can take him in a straight fight?

Hmm, why do I get the Feeling Šizra is possibly Spike from Gen 1.

9233105 No. But now that you mention Gen 1...
9233001

I do have to say that this dragon didn't do a good job at all at making a good impression of himself.

No he didn't but to be fair Discord did put a monkey wrench into Šizra's plans.(not that I will say what those plans were exactly:trixieshiftleft:)

Not to mention WHAT could he have to effect Discord. I mean the guy is older than Celestia and is more or less a force of nature half the time that can bend reality to his will. So what can take him in a straight fight?

Spoilers... Please read Chapter [REDACTED].

9235749 With difficulty (both in speaking and me explaining) but I shall try
Üā: oo(the oo is elongated and almost become a u at the end you will be to tempted to use you mouth to assist but don't )-ah
Sūt: sounds just like soot
Cktüis: ckt(um kh as is khan with a slight uh... try and make a loogie while saying 'kh' with hard 't" like in king tut right away)-oo(same as with Üā) -is

I did not see a hybrid coming that is for sure. I DO very much question just how quickly Twilight is going along with this. This guy at least in my eyes have come off as a full nut job who lashes out and thinks there is nothing wrong with it. The most he will admit is that 'she is not wrong' really that isn't good enough. He put countless people and loved ones in danger because the oh so wise half breed couldn't keep his temper in check. He is so old and smart but he seem to clearly be unstable and a danger because he knows he is SOOOOOOOO insanely OP that no one in the whole series can do anything to him. So why follow any of their rules and take responsibility for his actions when no one can hold him accountable. Not to mention Spike, who they ALL seem to be dismissing, SHOULD have a say in who teaches him. And I so can't see Spike to want to be talked by this insane male that just showed up and tried to kill the only family he has ever known. And if Spike was willing to walk away from dragon life before in favor of his family and his moral I am sure he would do it again. Now I know it wont happen because that wont do anything for the story but I can't help but see in truth that being Spike's actions and thoughts on this. This guy has shown NO redeeming qualities so far and someone who just shouldn't be around them.

From my knowledge a pony dragon hybrid is called a Kirin right?

by pure accident a young Uzuthscktüis egg is found by one of them...

I think Uzuthscktüis Should actually be Tzircktstelescktüis instead only mistake I wrong can’t wait for next chapter

9241402 oooops yes that is correct let me just fix that...

9241173 ooo boy let me break this down

I did not see a hybrid coming that is for sure. Good. I love flipping the script (watch out for throw away lines I'm so bad about using them later. Got to give Chekhov some love you know:trixieshiftright:

I DO very much question just how quickly Twilight is going along with this.Who said she is? Don't forget she wasn't when Discord was released either... This guy at least in my eyes have come off as a full nut job who lashes out and thinks there is nothing wrong with it. The most he will admit is that 'she is not wrong' really that isn't good enough. No, it's not, but I got to give him some faults lest I make him into a boring character or worse a Gary Stu He put countless people and loved ones in danger because the oh so wise half breed couldn't keep his temper in check.

He is so old and smart but he seem to clearly be unstable and a danger because he knows he is SOOOOOOOO insanely OP that no one in the whole series can do anything to him. That... is not entirely true... but to explain that fully in comments would be spoilers for now unreliable narrator is your hint...

So why follow any of their rules and take responsibility for his actions when no one can hold him accountable. See above

Not to mention Spike, who they ALL seem to be dismissing, SHOULD have a say in who teaches him. And I so can't see Spike to want to be talked by this insane male that just showed up and tried to kill the only family he has ever known. And if Spike was willing to walk away from dragon life before in favor of his family and his moral I am sure he would do it again. Now I know it wont happen because that wont do anything for the story but I can't help but see in truth that being Spike's actions and thoughts on this. Next chapter This guy has shown NO redeeming qualities so far and someone who just shouldn't be around them.

As the Author let me just give you a up vote to counter that down vote. Your critique was excellent. Loved your thoughts which were all on the nose by the way (everything you said I as a reader would have said but obviously can't as I'm the author and I cheat by 'reading' ahead...) Keep it up.:pinkiehappy:

The only 'bad' thing you did was the block of text which could have used a few blank lines.

Age and knowledge is it's own power. What a journeyman needs minutes of casting to achieve, a master can accomplish with a raised eyebrow and a singe word. It's all about perspective.

9267716 OOoo that perfectly encapsulates how I handle my head cannon for Twilight's ability to teleport spam (otherwise its way too OP... the show is terrible at balancing magic though nowhere near as bad with time and distance... MMMystery on the Friendship Express and Bottled up are the two biggest offenders for time/distance that immediately come to mind)

There is no Problem in character OP, I like what is Šizra and demonstrates that it is not teaching for the spike but also for the main six. And there may be Enemies Stronger than they've ever faced. Since he is one of the creators of the elements of harmony.


technique Spike should learn:

0:50 sec.

9269814 It does when OP becomes Gary Stu... Sadly for you there will be no kamehamehas (and other amine inspired attacks) for Spike.

I'm still not sure if i'm even going to be following this much further as while interesting your OC here has been nothing but unlikable and unpleasant.

The whole created the tree and elements just seems very mary sue ish.

I want to like this but I'm finding it hard too.

9332072 To quote Šizra "I caution believing everything that proceeds from Ilcktulsivitātes Hzathtola's mouth..." (that's Discord for those not paying attention/ confused)

I admit I'm walking a fine line here with Šizra's supposed 'abilities' and personality... If you think he's unlikable and unpleasant now trust me I had to tone him way done as I wrote. I actually had him lay into Twilight hard after the 'Ponies doing the right thing' line. Spouting exactly why he found that line 'irritating.'

If you stay on please continue to comment as you see fit. You won't believe how many times I've changed course for the better because of someone's comment.

Your story is really interesting so far! Don't lose hope, just keep writing, and mix it up.

9332722 I won't lose hope... hard to do that when I've managed to complete a story of 400k+ words and have the same feelings for this story as for that one

As bad as Cozy was, she was a child. Destroying her (not even "just" killing her) was crossing too many lines.
Whatever his past experiences and personal traumas, Šizra seem little more than a overpowered lunatic bullying his way around those without any hope of stopping him.

9390270
Honestly i agree. This guy even if somehow the ponies forgive which i find that to be hard to believe the readers wont forget that he killed a child when there was no need. I hope we dont get something that makes this all okay or make it where everyone understand him because that would cheapen what has just happen. I mean this is suppose to be the person to train Spike? No i cant see them or Spike for that matter wanting anything to do with him after this. Celestia already looks weak from him constantly underminding her in front of everyone. She cant have someone who killed a child..... In front of a whole school of children around. These were the children of their allies and now they will be scared this thing could show up and kill them without any punishment. Hell sooooo many kids will be pulled from this school for this. I could even see some of the young six pulled out as well

Half of the alicorn and the half dragon this is interesting, 9390270 I understand that he lived a time in climate or even war to act thus losing family and friends, that he believes that evil growing if nobody do anything can put everything to lose in the case of Cozy Glow leaves free or only a soft punishment that can make in the future to harm others and puts esquestria at risk, that takes the way by which to have created the tree of the harmony and the elements.

9390328

What about a middle term between "getting away with a slap on the wrist" and "permanent destruction of both body and soul"?
Also, I concur with with DragonPony that Šizra is in no mental condition of tutoring a child.

9390321
I went to read what it was she is a crazy psychopath and she is stuck in Tartarus. In the animation that still remains with the same personality was not changed so I was wrong, I think she has the potential to be the villain next season.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/3/35/Cozy_grins_evilly_from_behind_bars_S8E26.png/revision/latest?cb=20181017214915

9390347 9390321

Yes, I know, his purpose is to have created the tree of harmony and the elements that friendship is important and strong at the time, but it is not really appropriate yet to tell Spike he has yet to solve his past. Will not teach Spike at school, but unfortunately will have consequences of the occurrence even more will there be a discursion / debate on one side agree with the decision of Šizra and another condemn the decision. I like Šizra is a difficult character to control a good chaotic

9390270
And this dives into something I had cut from this chapter. Question: using irl parallels where do you think Cozy Glow would go after death after what she did? Hint if she is a mass murderer?

9390321
9390328
9390347
9390351
9390463

Whatever his past experiences and personal traumas, Šizra seem little more than a overpowered lunatic bullying his way around those without any hope of stopping him.

"without any hope of stopping him." Really? I pretty sure he was just stopped. And if i didn't make it clear with the less then subtle hint hint wink wink in the chapter that was the spirit of the Tree of Harmony!

Honestly i agree. This guy even if somehow the ponies forgive which i find that to be hard to believe the readers wont forget that he killed a child when there was no need. I hope we dont get something that makes this all okay or make it where everyone understand him because that would cheapen what has just happen.

and kill them without any punishment.

I'm sorry what made you think that Sizra was not going to get comeuppance?

WARNING WARNING incoming snark:

That he an alicorn OC? that he is *mock* "clearly a self insert"? One of the protagonist? If I wanted to I could cheapen it like the show writers with starlight and every equestria girl villain minus the sirens or every bad self-insert fic on Fimfiction (I see you displaced fics) (by the way, fixing it after the fact in show or in comics is extremely bad writing) but I'm not going to so relax. Give me time... Take a step back ye who just read Snape killed Dumbledore for the first time and somehow doesn't know the rest of the story.(and no that is not a Hint its just an example to put this into perspective)

~End of snarkiness~

I'm aware of Sizra's 'evilness' I can't speed things up too quickly just to 'fix' your problems with him without messing with the pacing or destroying his character.

Celestia already looks weak from him constantly underminding her in front of everyone

Oh yes I forgot putting her into a cage into tartarus next to the guy who is the mastermind behind it all who managed to not only escape once but to enact revenge while still imprisoned was such a great idea. Using the return of Sombra of all things to test Twilight "you alone must be the one" I don't need sizra to undermine Celestia idiotic choices. Also constantly? I count one time... how is that constantly?

What about a middle term between "getting away with a slap on the wrist" and "permanent destruction of both body and soul"?

hmm lets see I think i did point out that SoulSunder was the wrong move, right?
Had it occurred to you that you could have carried out the same justice against Cozy Glow with just Leafcutter?

Also, I concur with with DragonPony that Šizra is in no mental condition of tutoring a child.

This might come as a shocker but I agree.

I understand that he lived a time in climate or even war to act thus losing family and friends, that he believes that evil growing if nobody do anything can put everything to lose in the case of Cozy Glow leaves free or only a soft punishment that can make in the future to harm others and puts esquestria at risk,

replace Equestria with world and you're pretty much spot on. The one thing I would add though in punishing Cozy Glow harshly is it becomes a deterrent for other villains in trying to do something similar (and yes I'm aware of the IRl parallels with the death penalty not being a deterrent mainly because we don't apply it often enough, quickly enough, and in the public square... and before I get the rant no we should not do what i just said... our justice system is waaaay too broken for me to even remotely start endorsing applying it often, quickly, or in the public square)

Okay I think that covers everything I need to respond to... Thanks for all the comments (yes, even the negative ones)

oops missed this one: 9390463

Yes, I know, his purpose is to have created the tree of harmony and the elements

Do I really need to spell this out again don't believe everything Discord says!

9391154
I don't blame you for killing cozy glow. What you did was potentially kill a lot of entities pegasi who are living on clouds couldn't stop themselves from falling fast enough for example. What she did was quite frankly illegal in a magical world in my opinion. Most people who pull that no matter their age or tried as an adult for those types of crimes. In her opinion all friendship was was a way to get more power. In the end she was a power-hungry megalomaniac that needed to be put down. So really I don't blame you for giving her such a brutal and painful end. In my opinion what are all I did was merciful in the end cuz those cozy glow would have went to hell and then burning for all eternity for what she did.

9395246 You might want to clean up your comment a bit.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!