• Member Since 11th May, 2012
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GrassAndClouds2


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Sirens eat by channeling magical energy through their gems.
The Rainbooms broke the Dazzlings' gems.

...well, who needs food, anyways?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 41 )

Well after that I'd think I like her to live please.

A very bitter sweet story and a nice character piece of your two characters.

I'm in two minds if the romance tag is actually suitable for it and if actual romance rather than platonic friendship would make the story better or worse.

...... all they would ahve to do is just send them back to equestria and sort thigns out there. ....

6478562
According to Twilight's research, it still wouldn't do any good. No gems, no way of eating.

Great story.

Uh... it could be possible to send them back to Equestria, where Princess Twilight could use a time spell to gather the shells from the past, and then change their properties to be able to let Sonata feed on friendship or something. I don't really know. Just a random thought. :moustache:

wlam #7 · Oct 1st, 2015 · · 1 ·

It's not bad, but this is another one of those stories where the romance aspect of it just feels pointless and tacked on. Remove the tag and I probably wouldn't have noticed any difference. Why is it even there at all, really?

6479889
I, too, don't see the need for the Ro tag.

But it's still a good story and I like it.

This feels more like a friendshipping story than a romantic one, but very enjoyable either way.

I choose to go with, "Not even Twilight knows everything and Sonata is enabled to at least subsist on background ambient emotions."

Sad little story, it makes me think of terminal illness cases. Don't really see the romance though. I thought it was leading there with the whole feeding off friendship scene but by the end that feels more like friendship than romance. Feels like it needs a sequel but it works well as stand alone.

Going with the other folks here and saying that the Romance tag doesn't really seem fitting.

Otherwise... wow. This is the best oneshot I've read in awhile; not because the plot or events are mind blowing, but just how well the dialogue and characters are written and how smoothly the story moves along. It all feels natural, and was just simply pleasurable to read.

I really loved this story. It's well written and has a good idea behind it.

Only thing I found was a misplaced character.

Applejack squeezed Sunset and winced

I think you meant Sonata ^^

That romance tag isn't needed unless you plan on this being more than a oneshot.

6483970
agreed.

As for endings, well there really isn't any believable way for it to end except for on a happy note of a solution being found. Magic being so stilted and limited is a head canon which I guess I can accept, but it's a real hard pill to swallow that Princess Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, and Luna wouldn't have a combined knowledge and creative thinking skill capable of overcoming this problem. And that's not even mentioning Discord.
Really, the only way Sonata could die would be if the ponies weren't really trying.

If you want to have a sad note still, have Sonata, after being saved, try to find the other sirens but discover their corpses in the desert. Even if she no longer thought of them as her entire world, they were still friends for a very long time, so their deaths would be shattering for Sonata.

There's a lot of cliches here. Like Applejack being able to tell if someone's lying. And the abused Sonata horse has been beaten to death, It would have made the story more emotional if you included all the Sirens, not just one. Feels wrong that all the blame gets shifted to Adagio and Aria, it also doesn't make sense for them to split up like that. Why did they stick together when they where originally banished then?

Also this line is just odd,

"I thought Principal Celestia made it clear y'all either had to apologize an' fly straight from now on like Sunset did, or leave town. And y'all chose to leave, as I remember."

. Since when did Highschool Principals get the power to banish their students? And what if they didn't? What would be the punishment, detention?

6484661
On that last bit, yeah, it was odd. The most they could do to get them out of town would be to go to the proper authorities, which believe me, is very hard to do when the crime is magical in nature. Basically, they wouldn't be able to tell the truth without losing their jobs for being crazy, and it would be morally wrong to lie and say that the sirens did something awful that they didn't actually do to get them arrested.
You'd also have to get the students all on the same page for the false crime you'll be accusing, which is also very hard to do. You ever try getting a bunch of teenagers and pre-teens to do what you want? It's impossible, and that's not even counting Trixie or the crusaders. Also, that wouldn't be banishment, it would be imprisonment.
Yeah... probably should have said they'd be expunged if they didn't comply. That's about all school faculty can do to students.

P.S.
I feel it would be better with a conclusive ending. Open endings are just annoying.

Or how about finding another piece of their eggs? I'm sure they're somewhere, unless they did the most obvious thing and decompose. Then maybe some sort of conduit, specially created for a siren, cause I mean. Siren's have to have a back up plan! Like just imagine a child siren being born only to find out their egg was to thin or something. Or a siren that was born without an egg. You know. Like there obviously has to be another way.

I just finished reading this, and immediately I started crying. The ending almost killed me, it made me want to keep reading. I want to know what those last weeks were like between these two; though I know that I'd cry all way through it. This was a really great story, thank you for letting me experience it.

I already headcanoned that Starswirl let the Dazzlings have their gems so they wouldn't flat-out starve, just be trapped somewhere where they can't do too much harm, so I really liked this story. And got really sad over it. I think the ambiguous ending is best, too, like I really want Sonata to live but it would be gloriously sad if she died. XD

I always figured that if the Dazzlings were going to die without their gems and the girls found out then they would just push them back through the portal to Equestria. That would be the most logical and humane thing to do.

Maybe the mane gang can hold hands, pony up, and rainbow zap Sonata again. Maybe turn her into a real human girl.

6622801
Except for the fact that their gems were part of their bodies in Equestria (if the flashback art is any indication). Pushing them through the mirror might end with them having gaping holes in their chests, or at least a distinct lack of a gem. Since their gems are basically their mouths, it would be like shattering their jaws.

uhhh i really hope this is not like "going home" where its a really good story that deserves a sequel but would likely never get one XD

6478574 Twilight has been known to be wrong before. In ways that make craters.

awww I hope she lives

Y'know, this story is one of those that deserves a sequel, because it's so heartwarming and sweet. However, it's also that kind of story that can go horribly wrong if you are forced to write a sequel out of peer pressure and reader demand. If you choose to end it here, leave it.

However, if you feel the heart and mind for it, I'll definitely read the sequel when it comes :twilightsmile:

Awesome read either way, and just for my 5ยข, I really hope you do consider continuing a little on this...

Would you? :scootangel:

"And you know what goes really well with apple sausage? Maple syrup! Maybe not to eat with the sausage, but it makes a great beverage!"

I actually used to drink syrup straight from the bottle when I was young, and I would have to agree with this; although it's weird at first, you quickly get used to the flavor

Haul her back to Equestria and nuke her with the Elements/Rainbow Friendship Laser. Friendship Laser fixes everything! :pinkiecrazy:

I have the theory that Adagio and Aria didn't ditch her to go their separate ways but instead so that sonata wouldn't have to see them die first because they burnt through their magic reserve faster than her and would die far sooner. perhaps knowing that sonata is the more emotionally sensitive one they didn't want her getting sad that her friends/sisters were dying in front of her and that this was the fate that awaits her. wonder if the author will make a story from the other two points of view, or maybe continue on this story(highly doubtful).

6626281 "Well, now I'm starving to death on the moon. That sucks." :derpytongue2:

6626890 That's horrible! You're horrible!

I admit, I laughed. :rainbowlaugh:

While I admit this is a pretty good story, I can't help but feel as though there's one VERY important detail that both the author and pretty much everyone who's commented on this story overlooked:

orig05.deviantart.net/dae6/f/2014/274/e/3/sonata_dusk___taco_tuesday_t_shirt_by_ianshaffer-d819wht.jpg

orig06.deviantart.net/f34a/f/2014/316/a/f/taco_dusk_by_meganlovesangrybirds-d865nh7.png

If my information is correct, those gems in no way shape or form provide sustanence for the sirens. In fact according to Twilight, the Gems only gave them lovely singing voices via the negative emotions of anyone who heard them, and when they were shattered, they only lost their ability to carry a tune.

So, in conclusion, my advice for future stories and/or sequels is this:

sharefaith.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/details.png

I like this story. :twilightsmile: It is sad, but that seems to be the point. It really felt like there should be an epilogue in which Sonata either dies or gets close to dying before being saved. That would let you explore AJ and Sonata's emotions more (don't mean romance, though not ruling it out) and maybe get the rest of the gang in on it. See how they feel when this sweet misguided girl they hated starves to death. :trixieshiftleft:

6500718 Nature can be a cruel, uncaring mistress. :fluttercry:

6629769 The premise of the story is that they do literally feed off emotions. :ajbemused:

Awesome! :pinkiehappy: An interesting take on an idea I never thought about. Kinda hate the cliffhanger, but oh well...

Comment posted by Perry Pinkie Potter deleted Nov 17th, 2015

Wow! ^-^ I love it! Please, please write a sequel/sequels!! ^-^

I like this because a definite ending doesn't always matter.

6629769
did we ever see her actually eat them?
even if she did it doesn't mean that she gets sustenance from them. It seems kinda rude to call someone out for missing details when that detail has nothing to do with the story.

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