The Halloween after her actions at the Fall Formal, Sunset Shimmer isn't a popular student. In an attempt to show she's changed, Sunset volunteers to check over the list of costumes for Canterlot High's Halloween Party. Making sure they're all appropriate, Sunset goes a little over the top. Also, Trixie doesn't help.
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Well, I guess she went a little overboard (<< that's a word right?) with the checking..
But that's no reason to be mean!
Haha! Who knew everyone could be so judging!
Aww poor Sunset. Also likeing the story.
5128013 The students didn't understand why she was going so overboard, so they naturally assumed she hadn't change and purposely decided nobody could wear their costumes to sabotage the event.
5128051 I did!
Why the "Other" tag? Sunset Shimmer has had her own tag since before the first movie even came out...
5128767 Oh dang it, I forgot Sunset's tag! :P
5136677 Thank you!
Aww, she was just trying to help.
This will not end well
Sunsets stupid. She should have looked at each costume.
Oh, almost forgot!
"if"
Why did you end the story here? This had so much potential.
5534425 It was meant to be a short one-shot. What else could I do with it?
5534486 Well you could have had Sunset talking with the Humane Five about the whole thing.
5534490 Oh yeah, you're right! Well, if I'm ever free, I'll be sure to remember that!
That's it? That's the end of the story? Everyone hates her and she dejectedly leaves to see her friends? I don't know, the ending just kinda petered out; the story feels incomplete. It seemed more like the end of a chapter rather than the end of a story. I'm not saying every story should have a happy ending, but my big hang-up was the way it ended.
5685500 Well, we do know that she'll get accepted by her peers after Rainbow Rocks. Think of this as an example of how people still judged her after the Fall Formal.
5685546 I guess my biggest problem was that it was such an abrupt end. There was no closure. I know that they'll accept her after the movie and that they won't accept her now, but it was such a jarringly abrupt end. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Far be it from me, though, to tell you how to write your story. I did enjoy the trip, after all.
5688022 Alright.
I understand what you mean.
This story has so much potential that it doesn't live up to.
6527968
What did you have in mind?
6528290 It's hard to explain without rewriting the story, but the main thing is the ending. Rather than just two girls at once, it would have been better if you had Sunset confronted by several students one after another, each criticizing her reasons for rejecting their costumes, making her feel more and more foolish, until Flash Sentry delivered the "final blow" by saying that he should have known better than to hope that the days she tried to control what he wore ended when he broke up with her. I would have then wrapped things up by having her meet up with the Humane Five, who assure her that while they are not exactly happy, they believe that Sunset had good intentions and forgive her, although they advise her to lay low for awhile.
6530973 Good ideas.
I'm sorry I couldn't make the story as good as you imagined it. Do you think I should tweak the ending?
6531412 If you want to; it's your story after all. But yeah, it wouldn't hurt.
6531460 Alright.
If I remember/find the time, I'll edit the story.
Looks like somepony has a very keen imagination.
Seems okay but the ending feels kinda short.