5: Conclusion
Moondancer stood at the window of a room adjacent to the west wing of Canterlot Castle's courtyard. She smiled as she gazed out at the festive setting before her.
It's all here, she thought. It's all ready. At last.
Minuette had taken care of the decorations; a rainbow of balloons and streamers adorned the area from fence to fence. Meanwhile, for reasons Moondancer couldn't possibly fathom, Princess Celestia had given her full access to castle catering. Full, steaming hot meals, and salads, complemented the snacks that Moondancer and Minuette had picked out.
Maybe Princess Celestia really does care about me that much, Moondancer thought. Maybe... enough to consider me... a possible protégé?
She let that thought, as well as the notion of all the knowledge she would have access to upon such a thing happening, warm her academic heart for a moment, then let it pass with a chuckle.
And maybe Twilight's secretly learning to be a princess, she added, shaking her head.
Putting fantasies of prestige out of her mind, Moondancer went over to a nearby desk, where the ink had just finished drying on a single paper plate. The ink was written out in an alphanumeric, coded message that she knew would be easy for Twilight to crack, but would still give her other classmates a hard time. Said paper plate was large enough to hold exactly one slice of cake, which Moondancer planned to give to Twilight, personally.
Now everything was ready.
She looked at her watch. Ten minutes left. She opened her saddlebag which sat at the corner of the room, and levitated a worn book in front of her. Positioning herself at the desk, she took out a quill, and opened to the next empty page. After a moment to compose her thoughts, she wrote.
---
Moondancer's Life Analysis Log
Entry #101
Though I have heard rumblings to the contrary for years, I never put much stock in the discoveries of science being made through means which cannot be processed by anything but the five senses, or the established principles and inner workings of our world. Meanwhile, perhaps paradoxically, I have always accepted that magic itself works in mysterious, unknown ways.
Never once did I consider that perhaps the truth behind both of my assertions might lie in the middle.
I had a dream last night. A dream laden with... epiphanies. The exact details are unimportant, but the discoveries are paramount. Electricity and magic? Far more related than either I, or Twilight Sparkle, were led to believe. All sorts of energy, in fact, intertwine.
Meanwhile, the force of emotion is... also to not be underestimated.
Today, I celebrate my embracing of the concept of friendship. It was a concept always right under my nose, but to my folly, I chose to keep it at foreleg's length. However, if the above knowledge is what embracing the joys of companionship yields, then I have a lot of time to make up for.
As will Twilight, hopefully, once I explain my proposal for a closer relationship.
I will admit to some nervousness. Our studies have thus far been a years-long, joint effort, but only to a point. Despite our extensive common ground, neither of us has seen fit to pursue anything loftier, until just recently.
Even with my trepidation, I am positive that Twilight will be more than willing to join me on this emotional journey, and in the experiments that will no doubt be a part of it. Events probably won't go... quite exactly the way they did in my dream, but so long as Twilight still wants me around, it won't matter what capacity our companionship exists in. As scatterbrained as we are, deep down, I know that she cares about me.
And I care about her, too. More than anything. The other girls were right: everypony is worth something to somepony else. For the first time in my life, I've never felt so happy to be myself.
Maybe that old, cheesy line we learn as foals is true; perhaps friendship really is magic.
I find myself voraciously curious to see if any other Equestrian scientists have had such experiences. It is truly eye-opening to have one's paradigm so shifted.
Until next entry.
~Moondancer
---
Moondancer closed her log, placed it back into her saddlebag, and examined herself in the desk's mirror. A quick fluff of her ponytail, a quick nudge of her glasses, and she was ready as she ever would be.
She nodded at herself, determined.
This is it, Moondancer, she thought. Whatever happens, today is the first day of the rest of your life.
She could hear voices approaching from the courtyard entrance. With a joyful heart, a spring in her step, and a smile on her face, Moondancer walked out to greet them.
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This is such a Bookish Delight-ish plot.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/594/212/6ca.jpg
6312573
Yeah, I'm pretty consistent and unsurprising, aren't I?
6312579 Hey, write what you're good at and enjoy.
6312615
Now you're getting it.
I'll admit, this story was emotional in a good way and a joy to read. The Moondancer x Twilight Sparkle premise drew me in, and the fantastic writing and execution kept me invested from start to finish. You played with the reader's emotions perfectly, whether for joyful moments or depressing ones. Well done.
Can't fave this enough!!!!
And then Twilight never shows and Moondancer's heart is broken FOREVER.
That characterization of Princess Celestia?
Nailed it.
This paring took off fast. O_O
6312884 I KNOW, right?
Seriously, Bookish, your Celestia is pure joy. In fact, I think of EG Principal Celestia as being like yours instead of the official version. Yours is so much better.
As for Moondancer--the love scene between her and Twilight was warm and sweet, and yes, sexy, but still with that overtone that this dream wouldn't come true. I'm glad you ended it on that hopeful note, even if it was false hope.
Bookish wrote Moonlight? Bookish wrote Moonlight!
<Squee>
Ah, I've been waiting for this — MOONLIGHT
Have to tackle it later once I get home, though — MOONLIGHT
Way looking forward to it — MOONLIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
6313015
Thanks, and I'l do you one better: I actually almost "corrected" it with "a wing and horns" just now.
That's where a 36-hour all-nighter at an airport will get you, kids!
6312961
Same way ponies grab hold of objects with one hoof in the show. I don't make the rules.
It was so cute, and sweet, and warming...
And heartbreaking...
:D Yessss the rest of it is just as goooood
I love how you ended this. Such delicious dramatic irony, but still with happy endings all around. Plus, Moonlight.
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2012/3/5/22f4a3a4-c9f0-4e40-af33-6ed473079ac2.jpg
You ACTUALLY made me think this MIGHT end well. I only have one thing to say about this ending.
Though it was still well-written and stuff so I'm still going to like this, even if I AM pissed at the ending. >:[
You are an evil genius. Many not so manly tears were shed this day.
Read, and now that's it's read, I almost want to kick you.
But only almost.
This was so sweet, yet so sad... Wahhh, I need a sequel. Moonlight is best ship!
Why, Bookish...why do you leave me with the knowledge that Twilight didn't even show up, and that she left for Ponyville and all but forgot about her in a few days...
Welp, there goes whatever self esteem she had left.
This was sweet, and sad, and sweetly sad. Nicely done, even knowing how it would end (considering there was no AU tag), you sucked me in and made me hope
So this is what it feels like, to have your soul crushed and ground into dust.
Aaaaand now I feel sad...
Also, Celestia, you're evil
I mean really, you knew you'd send Twilight to Ponyville AND you knew Moondancer would host a party for her friends. Sigh, oh well cute story none the less.
Best regards
Silverstain
Oh god my feels.
6314880
To be fair, Twilight decided not to go to Moondancer's party to research the Elements of Harmony. Celestia might have been planning to wait until after the party to send Twilight to Ponyville, but had no choice in the matter after Twilight sent her the letter.
So, when do we see the sequel in which Moondancer, post Amending Fences, works up the nerve to talk to Twilight about her crush?
6315024
True enough
It's astounding how knowing a little snippet of adventitious action of the very first episode of FiM changes the tone of this story from fluffy to depressing. Very well done.
That was masterfully written. You monster.
6315018
Conceded and fairly accurate.
To be fair, however, the scene you've depicted happens during the writing process of all of my stories at some point or another.
6315527 ... so sad...
now I want "Recreating variables", the alternate version/continuation of "Amending fences"
6315242
B-b-but... WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!!!!
After Twilight gets back and reconciles with Moondancer what happens?
Does Moon still like Twi?
What will Twi do?
AAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!
...friggin unintentional cliffhanger...
sequel?
please???
Some stories stab me in the heart. This one fired a thousand-pound spike of dramatic irony through my ribcage. You are an evil, wonderful person.
Elysium hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Tartarus a fury like a book-mare scorn'd. - The Morning Bride
6316442
Oh, this ended even better than I could have thought. That was the perfect place to stop.
Thanks for such an awesome story, Bookish. Was wondering how it was missing certain tags.
"Don't You Forget About Me"
Do you have no heart? Do you feed on the sorrow of others? Do you feel joy in proportion to the sadness you cause in your readers?
That's the only explanation I can think of for why you would so lovingly create something so skillfully heartbreaking as this. Something so well made and effective that only serves to pain the reader. Something handcrafted with extra care just to make us feel awful.
And then, just as I think it can't get any worse, you kick us in the gut with horrible unbearable irony. I already felt that this was a cry inducing song on its own. You didn't need to make it worse.
Final thoughts: good writing, good characters, good plot, needs a 'tragedy' tag. Or at the very least multiple 'sad' tags.
This is like when someone is popping your shoulder back in. They always make it sound like it isn't going to hurt, but you know what is coming.
You know it's coming and yet it still comes as a blow. Wow, there is mastery here, to say the least. Very impressive, I was absorbed from the beginning.
Also,
Like, buck this is one of the saddest things I've ever read!
An amazing piece of work
This is what I'm talking about.
I've said before, if you want your readers to actually feel and care about the romantic pairing, you have to work on it. You have to develop it and show and elaborate. You can't just throw two characters together and say "Okay, X and Y are together, now feel as though this is the romance of the century." That's like slopping cold spaghetti on a plate, slathering it with ketchup, then expecting people to treat it like it's a five-star culinary experience.
This is the proper way to do it. Explore feelings. Explore thoughts. Make us believe it could happen. Make us care.
There's some similarities with Rainbow Reflections here, in that we only get Moondancer's side of the events while Twilight's thoughts are obfuscated and she's passive. However, while I found that detracting in RR, here it works. If you think about it, Moondancer interacts more with her expectations of Twilight rather than the actual Twilight; she has hopes and dreams (and actual dreams, of the hydrated kind) with her impression of Twilight, but we don't see anything from Twilight's POV. Even when she's talking to the actual Twilight, you get the impression that it's the mask of the dedicated student we see, not the full individual behind.
(Again I'm reminded of the concept of Sonder: That you will never know another person to the same full extent that you know yourself.)
So yes. Seeing it all from Moondancer's perspective works. This is Moondancer's story, it's how she sees it, and what Twilight thinks about it all is really secondary. It leaves us hoping but ultimately expecting the final heartbreak because this is still canon.
Good story.
i.imgur.com/h1TCPAO.jpg
^
Author
But seriously, great to see another author with pretty much exactly the same ideas regarding Moonlight/Twidancer back story and characterization. It seems our fics are connected by the "also liked" tab for good reason.
I was sitting here since the first chapter thinking "There's no alternate universe tag, so This should end how i think. But there's no sad tag, so what the hell?"
Now I know. Wow.
Pow right in the feels.
6317887
I already have.
The truth is there's no sad or tragedy here- it all happens after the last chapter. (It's marked "Complete", after all.)
People who watched Amending Fences knows what happened next, but Moondancer isn't a sad pony or had her heart ripped out (metaphorically) at this point in time.
Whyyyyy doesn't it have a sad tag?