With humanity gone, a lone pony tries to escape a prison cell.
With thanks to JCatt and Lord of Dorkness with their help pre-reading.
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- Member Since 16th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
billymorph
Hey all, I'm billymorph, a semi-professional writer, self-published author and full-time pony fan. If you enjoy my work, please support me on Patreon!
billymorph
Joined 16th Jun, 2014 ·
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Well... that was... horrifying. And Dark. And one of those thoughts I had in the back of my mind while reading the main story's premise. When everyone disappears, suddenly, the world starts to crash. And an innocent, just sentence becomes an indefinite hold with no one to save you. Damn. That's a really scary thought.
Now, huh, I sort of imagine Michael as an earth pony, for simple lack of descriptions (this is a rather straight forward and yet subtle one-shot) of wings or horn. Honestly, I hope that last thing was not his legs, but I don't know. Starving magical animal vs steel? I really don't know who came out on top, and that's sort of brilliant in its own way. You ended things at just the right place.
I like it. That was well-done.
I knew this was coming.
It was what I feared.
You did well with it, though.
...
Ugh. Your writing couldn't get more claustrophobic.
Good work. *shudder*
Yep. This is one of the darker side stories. Darker even, in a way, than D's story. His situation has nothing to do with choices he's taking building up, his situation just is what it is. Ponified in a locked and secured room with no one around to let him out. And that cliff hanger... You can't help but feel it for him.
well.... that sucks
6157121 I partially disagree. While he does start in a crappy and hopeless position, he made some choices that led up to the moment described in this story. Breaking the light, and then flushing the glass shards. That means he made the choice not to take the easy way out, and he sacrificed his senses to not have to withstand the annoyance of perpetual light and buzzing. Also, he made the choice to kick at the door rather than the concrete wall, and he might have had more luck kicking the wall.
But... yeah, the whole thing absolutely stinks for him, and he did the best he could considering the circumstances.
This story is now my favorite PaP fic. Nice work, Billy, being an actual professional writer you managed to bring some dark light into this niche community. Congrats on being the first to decide to write a short instead of a novel.
(and what's the deal with the Alternate Universe tag?)
6156730 My guess it was the door that broke or this would call for a tragic tag.
Wow, dude! Congrats on making it to the homepage of FimFiction, seeing as this was published just today! That's incredible!!
Great job!
The image reminds me of presentable liberty.
That crack. I'm like, "Is it the door or his hooves? Ack, the cliff-hanger, it's killing me!
" But you did one great job doing this... yikes.
minature
Is good. Weird premise, but eh.
Amazing work. Very dark and entertaining.
6158855
"Minute" is a legitimate word choice here. With long vowel sounds and emphasis on the second syllable rather than the first (sounds like "my-NOOT"), it's a synonym for small.
(What am I, a dictionary?
)
6160039
Never heard of that usage before, always thought "minute" with that pronunciation was more refering to a short period of time, or amount. Like, a "minute amount of liquid" or "a minute amount of time passed." A "minute rock" sounds strange to me, but if its an actual usage, then alrighty then.
6156730 6156927 6157049 6159784 Thanks guys. I don't write much dark fiction, but I really liked writing this one. Glad you enjoyed it.
6157259 Eeup.
6157121 Yeah, it's very much the survival situation pared down to the absolute minimum. Limited resources, a do or die goal and it all hindging on inginuity and resolve. In this case, very much resolve.
6157523 Thanks d-, it was a fun challenge to fit the setting down into such a tiny story. I'm so glad to hear it worked.
6158116 Alas it seems the moment in the sun didn't last long. Ah well, it's not a surprise, these in universe stories tend to lack mass apeal.
6158386 Thanks, always leave them wanting more.
6160039 6160260 Minute would probably work, but miniature was what I meant to write. Ammended.
Some of the prose rather tell-y and heavy handed, but overall this is a good read. I especially liked the bits referencing how his water ran out.
Is there any reason why he randomly turned into a pony? Did I miss something along the way, or is it intentionally vague?
6166734 this is a spin off from an existing story The Last Pony on Earth. Humans disappear but the ones that remain are transformed and they have to try and survive as a new species.
It's pretty good, I'd recommend it!
So did the door break or his leg/legs? Because I could see the latter as more likely.
Well then. It's weird to start off reading the main story, and then come on by this. Certainly shows how things in that situation can be a hell lot worse then what it originally started out as.
So. I don't suposed this will get a sequel?
Reading this hurts in all the right ways.
Sweet Celestia man, the cliffhanger... i cant take it
what happend??!!
I keep coming back to this wishing I could do more than favorite and like it. I mean seriously, I love this one. It got me interested in the genre.
cool.
coolcoolcool.
Ambiguous endings tick me the hell off. Thumbs down. A shame I can't give multiple thumbs down.
6335674
On the contrary, that is a very effective ambiguous ending. You're left wondering if Michael has finally shattered one of his hooves or if the cell door has finally surrendered before his Earth Pony strength.
In the end, how you interpret the ending is as much revealing of the nature of the reader as it is the nature of the story. I, for one, like happy endings, or the closest thing to it that is possible. Others might take a darker route. In the end, it is our inner reality that ends this tale for the author, which is the sign of a good artist who knows his craft.
6343125
That is precisely why it FAILS as an ending. There is no resolution to the story, only a guessing game left with no definitive answer. That kind of stuff ticks me off. IF you like it, well jolly good for you but as I said, I'd give the story multiple thumbs down if I could.
God I hate that. Is that him finally kicking the dog, or the door (or the cement holding the door in place) giving way?
Regardless, considering how this ended, it deserves a sequel, no doubt about it.
That is, if he succeeded in escaping.
Noticed something really weird today. Thud and my Tyra B share (apart from the same tags) the exact same word count of 1461.
Great story. Thank you.
Sequel. Calling it now
I wish there was more context within the story. I wanted at least some indication of why he was a pony and in a prison cell, or where the people who had done this to him were. And then I come to actual story and find out it's part of some setting I've never heard of. Which, y'know, explains things, but I couldn't shake that feeling of missing things.
6617747 That's because this is a spinoff of a much larger series.
6627218
6627605 ... Well there's egg on my face.
... I don't like eggs.
6343819 I stand with you half on that one! I loved the story, but hated the ending. I wouldn't go and add zeros to the number of dislikes, but I don't really like the ending. With the way it was worded and the word "crack" I think poor Michael broke his legs. Doors of steel don't "crack."
Classic ending. Nice read
Well, that was.. kinda super depressing. Very well done, but.. *Shudders* That ending.. >.> Ooowww
6893818
But steel doesn't crack.