• Member Since 18th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Seeking Dusk


Myriad the ideas in eternal blossom, Meager the words ever written, such is the plight of the one Seeking

T
Source

The city itself is the same. The buildings and streets remain untouched and unscathed by what happened. The population wasn't so fortunate. As far as I have been able to tell, they are all gone now with no hints as to how, why, or where they are. Only the empty city.

I'm still here, however. Whatever end happened, I missed it.

If only I were so fortunate to say 'I fared as well as my city'. I'm still here in the suburbs of my empty city, but I'm far from the same as I was. The Limestone City might be unchanged, but I have been left with new hooves to walk on.

I have no intentions of letting an unknown tell me it's the end.
[A Ponies After People Fic][Art by Zutcha]

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 133 )

huh...neat

Absolutely love the prose, as well as having such a different perspective. I look forward to seeing all the awesome places this story takes us. I wonder how the differences in batpony biology will manifest. Will he eat bugs? Will he find it easier to wake up at night as time goes on? How does it feel to have freakin skin and bone wings? So many awesome things to come!

So, Ponies after People now has three different story types and Character Types:

The Last Pony on Earth/A: Emotion Driven character and story

The First Unicorn on Earth/Leon: Logic driven story and character

The Limestone City Bat/Robin: Random driven story and character.

I'm looking forward to this!

Oh dear, so this one starts off in the Land of Always Winter? I approve of this. Show us how a Canadian Bat Pony does it. Without going too insane from isolation, if possible.

Very good, love the description.

6049513

When I get around to finishing mine; you can get random from me :3

6049927 I look forward to it.

if he is a batpony with in fact bat wings, he should in fact an thumb on them to greap things whit it. All in all I think it great so far.

6049939

Need to finish another story update before I work on it

An electric supermarket cart? Not a bad idea, especially if you can manage some form of reliable or semi-reliable power supply. Same for the mentioned wiki download, that has the potential to be very useful depending on what and how much information it contains.

6049398 My sentiments exactly.

6049406 Fine out next time on The Limestone City Bat! *cue credits*
It would take a lot of bugs to sustain him...
First Person, particularly Journal style, gives an easier insight to the characters thoughts and mindset. Third Person gives an easier insight to the world around them. Combining the two lends to an interesting progression of the narrative, showing both the Character and the World without trying to force either one.

6049513 I'd say... okay, yeah, a bit random. Not wild random, but he'll definitely be winging it and following impulses a lot. No pun intended. Impulse and Discovery? 6049927 is more likely to give you true random.

6049520 Winter will be no fun if he can't work the power issue out. He's quite a ways away from being able to chop enough wood to last him through even a mild winter, assuming he gets a place with a fireplace and/or wood burning furnace. But the more immediate woe: no more Timmies. :raritydespair:
s3.amazonaws.com/hammerinthenews/0HTN/timmies-shirt.jpg

6049995 Batpony wings will (eventually) be a boon. At the moment? He and his wings have a rough truce: the wings do what they want to do, and they don't do what he wants them to do. When he said he had no clue what do with them, he was being literal. Needs more practice, or maybe just more time, before he can work out directly controlling them. With the fur, new legs and hooves, fangs, eyes, ears, tail, all of which were much more cooperative, he hasn't really gotten a chance to study the wings in any real detail.

6050173 A wiki download has been on my list of things to do for years, mainly in deference to unreliable internet and the lack of digital encyclopedias. I recently found a decent one that has 4.8+ million articles, Starscribe's story actually motivating me to finally download it. Still need a few more days to get it fully set up though. I'll let you know how good it is when this indexing finally finishes. Wikispecies took all day, and that was only a 400 thousand articles. Okay, not only, but still a magnitude less.

One thing Canada is know for, both on the nation and local scales, is sprawl. The cart is nice set of wheels with decent trunk space and large uncomplicated controls and an eco-friendly solution with an electric motor. A perfect entry level vehicle for a new pony looking to explore. While an ATV might offer more speed, power and range, the humble Powercart gives you comfort and ease of operation. See your local superstore to acquire your own!

Okay, salespony pitch aside, Robin might actually be pretty good for power, depending on how long certain systems can run without human input. There's a hydroelectric dam within ten minutes of town and a wind mill farm a ferry ride away. How long do those operate without control? I know Ontario's power system monitors itself and can isolate blocks if it detects breaks and such in the line, but in a situation like this? Would a dam that lacks local storage stop pumping power into the grid? Would the windmills? Must do more research...
(wow... lots of word on this response...)

6049398 6049908 6050427 Why thank you! Your words make my heart swell! :pinkiehappy:

6049939

bluemoon1996 is more likely to give you true random.

Grey ain't lying:rainbowlaugh:

My mind gets utterly insane at times and I love it:rainbowkiss:

I wing 90% of my stories with only the smallest of frameworks

Have a thing, ended up doing this instead of that other thing.
41.media.tumblr.com/b68b0d91fdaa10fd8df2c00954a6b471/tumblr_npct6lT74c1rsmidfo1_540.png
Also, hooray for more Ponies After People stories!

6050664 I wanted to write a logical character who I could slowly breakdown, but I'm right there with you on the mind going everywhere front. That would've been next on my list.

Overall, I thought it was OK. That said, it does have the potential to develop into an interesting story (I'd like to see more of the adventure tag in place). However, you need to be careful with this - it could end up being a bit same-y compared to the others of the verse.


You seem to like misusing semi-colons; allow me to correct some of the mistakes.

Also; I'm gonna rename you.

On the bright side; I don’t seem to need my glasses any more.

Besides; these eyes are huge.

The wings are weird; bluer than my fur, and webbed like a bats.

More likely; I am an odd ungulate species.

Speaking of; I’m calling the computer Darcy

I checked on a few major cities I could think of; their webpages and twitter if they had [any].

Also; I only chased my tail once!

A short sleeved shirt was around his chest; forelegs through the sleeves, [...]

Actually; I don’t know what my blood type is anymore.

I don't care if the next one is in the author's notes; no one is safe from me. Mwahahaha.

Also; credit to Canary in the Coal Mine for 'Vampire Hoofed Cat.'

There should be a comma and not a semi-colon in these; if a clause does not make sense on it's own (unless it's in a list) it should not be before or after a semi-colon. As a general rule, only use a semi-colon to replace a full-stop (period for Americans), or the word and in a compound sentence - use them sparingly. Some of these sentences can probably be edited so both clauses make sense on their own - you could do that instead for some.

Hello my Inanimate companion

Is the "I" meant to be capitalised?

They won’t fit my new head anyway, and I don’t know how to work hooves enough to try and rig a work around.

My street looks pretty empty, and it’s pretty creepy to be honest.

If you're so set on using semi-colons, you could replace the ", and" with one. Don't overuse them though.

That's all I could find. It was mostly semi-colon errors. One thing I would like to add is: don't use so many full-stops (or periods, whatever). There were a lot of simple sentences mostly grouped together that served little effect. All it did was make it boring and slow at points. I could understand if there was some purpose. But, please, try to vary your sentence types somewhat.


6050772 Definitely my favourite story artist - at least in terms of interactions.

6051973 But... the glorious Semi-Colon Empire! :raritydespair:
Yeesh, I really do love semi-colons. Never realized I used so many... The simple sentences... I'll admit to going back and breaking some. Mostly because I've gotten comments on another story that I used too many long sentences (and I ran some of my work, not this one though, through that readability checker website and it said I could stand to break some.)
I also use too many ellipsis. You should have seen it before I led the Great Purge of May 31st. Maybe ellipsis fell that day. Apparently their dying act was to curse me to use too many simple sentences.
(Fixes applied with duct tape and super glue.)

6050772 You can kill a man with the adorable factor in your art.

6052033 I was going to comment on the army of these: the thing that separates this from the main clause. But I decided to let it keep it's glory :twilightblush:

6050664 Also, same thing. I plan the beginning and the end, and wing it everywhere else.

6052398

Yay for improvisation

Cellie? He just upgraded his journal to royalty :trollestia:
Everything that needs saying has already been said by others so... do carry on.

Oh silly boy, we have our own ATV..... It's just broke at the mosmnt

ah, so he can't fly yet...
and has yet to realise how to use the tactical tk hooves...

Make sure you tell him that whenever you can! Zutcha is awesome!

Ikr. I already do. He made this:41.media.tumblr.com/29faaa22c0428939075f2ce814d2c04d/tumblr_np8gyruoBl1rsmidfo1_400.png

“Ah, son of a gum chewing fudge monster!”

“Find me in the alps!”

You got the first one wrong.
It's FUNK monster

Also the 'broken' one says beast, rather than monster.

“Find me in the alps!” Robin growled

Also, was naming the ATV "Sophia" a Blaster Master reference?

6061385 He's too caught up in the Twilight Zone. With wings his size, flight shouldn't be scientifically possible, so he's not even trying.

6062621 Any errors are due to him recalling it incorrectly.

6063329 I did not even know that was a thing. I just pulled the name out of my hat, so the speak.

6064310 Yeah, Sophia the 3rd was the name of the four-wheeled all-terrain tank from the old NES game Blaster Master. Immediately made me think of it. :twilightsmile:

okay, this was cute, and fun. Lets enjoy this one.

You and I need to get together and figure out what thestrals- scuseme, alategus abilities would be and if mine should be a subspecies, considering the little incident.

“No. None of that. Shame on you.”

Fahoo Doreys, Dahoo Foreys.

I like this second character, Jade feels like she'll be fun.

6078215 That's entirely possible. Or Night Scrolls is just crazy like that :p Robin's gonna have to relook at his initial plan if he meets any members of the other tribes anyway.
Just to mention, this was not written in anyway as a 'have that'. I've had that first journal entry done since last Friday. The 3rd Person held back completion

6078218 Those dogs seem to bring out all the references in Robin.

6078225 Fun for us. Not so much for Robin. :pinkiehappy:

Alright, that chapter got you the thumbs up :)
The story felt way rushed in the beginning and the protagonist was, hmm, not that well developed? However, he just got real good and looking back to the previous chapters he now makes sense to me. I love the part where he came up with a scientific name for himself. Alategus is way cool - best bat pony definition ever.

Jade also makes sense in that 13-year old way of making sense, especially the taking it in stride (at least at first). Interesting little family you've suddenly assembled there. Looking forward to more!

Heh, a very cute little update.

That's why you grab yourself a little propane one too... They're great for on the go:eeyup:

6079419 I have several potential answers.

6079495
o What's with that unfinished sentence?
o Why was the pool scene so happy?
o How did you know that my favorite color is orange?

6079519
O I missed another one? I thought I hunted them all down...
O It was just a moment. First time swimming as a fuzzy winged pony neptin. And it worked out well. Still feel sorry for Cala...
O My spies are occasionally effective.

Did anybody else mention that the batpony is named Robin? ;)

Ah, to b young and athletic. “Um… you need my help?” - Ah, minor typo to help out there?

And heh! The classics last on the radio.

*ring ring* Yeah ,hi. I'd like to put in a request. Could you play 'video killed the radio star'?









And now I'm making radio jokes.

Too late! You think I’m awesome

Course you are!

but considering one of his early cooking mistakes involved dish soap, vinegar and nutmeg, he counted it as a win

Just chopping the boiled eggs took a couple minutes of carefully maneuvering the knife and chasing slippery ovoids around the chopping board. The cheese was easier. Cheese didn’t try to run away.

The image was only ruined by the macaroni bits sticking to the side of her muzzle.

:rainbowlaugh:
Food and cooking jokes are best jokes! You're good at this :)
This story has really taken off with the addition of Jade.

“Nope!” Jade grinned. “You’re too old to be Robin. You’re Nightwing.”

Love it.

I really appreciate that this story is staying so light and reasonably happy.

The comedy here is top notch. I wish I could make jokes. Now that the survival crap is no longer the primary focus on the story, I can actually pay attention long enough to get through the chapter. Well played, Greykait, well played.

Another fantastic chapter, as usual. Worth the wait for these.
Five spikes:
:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

This story is looking very good so far. Overall, the grammar is rather good. I did notice a few areas where there were typos, but typos happen to everyone. I also enjoy how you write this. Especially how you do the journals and switch to third person. The story also has gotten me interested in the main character. I enjoy how you write Robin and I'm really looking forward to see where this story goes. Now then, I'm off to read the other chapters, or write my own side-story. Good luck with your own story!
‒Stahl

I'm really enjoying this story so far. The quality of it is amazing. I'm looking forward to the future chapters!

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