• Member Since 9th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen March 9th

Rock Slide


Hey guys, im rock slide hope you enjoy my stories!

T
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Spike gets a visit from a truly loyal friend, but she isn't just coming for a regular visit. what does rainbow have to say? And how will it affect their relationship?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 97 )

This was expertly put together. I am loving this. But, my keen eye noticed a couple of things.

the Florneigha air and sea boat show

That needs all capitalization except for and. It's a noun.

wouldn't fall over again. Once again he started to work

You used "again" twice. It doesn't sound good.

“Spike...don’t apologize to me,”

Don't quote me, but I believe that you need a space between the ellipsis (...) and the next word (This applies for the every ellipsis, not just this one). It also makes it look better.

drake

Drake was a frequent adjective throughout the story. It got too repetitive and boring.

in their letters I mean about keeping away from Rarity

I believe that you need a comma (,) between letters and I. Another comma is needed between mean and about

“A-are you sure thats a good Idea, what about the others?”

Two things, thats needs an apostrophe ('). And, idea is capitalized.

“Spike...I can’t take your bed come on its big enough and i promise i dont bite.”

Comma (,) needed between bed and come. Another Comma (,) is needed between on and its. Its needs an apostrophe ('). There are two, i's that need capitalization.
Other than that, this was an excellent read. 10/10 would come back to see more from you.

- Altaimare

Ill fix those right away thank you so much
5934897

5934915 I just realized,

Spike blushed at that comment, only to glare as rainbow dash began to laugh out loud at him. “let’s just get some sleep.”

Rainbow Dash needs capitalization.

- Altaimare

5934961 fixed thank you again for your support

please make a sequel its so good

Nice, story. Good luck getting along with this.:yay:

This story scream sequel at me and I don't know why. Very well written. Amazing pace of the story. I love it if you plan on making a sequel I will await patiently and pray... Nice job seriously... :moustache:

Hillbe #8 · May 3rd, 2015 · · 3 ·

poor Rares:moustache: A bag lady?
:ajsleepy: It's a hard life
:raritystarry: here kitty kitty kitty
:pinkiecrazy: I foung him!
:twilightangry2: I got him
:trollestia: I banished him

Finally... A good SpikeDash story based on sheer feelings and shipping. Cool story bro :moustache: That deserves a fave.

spike gets a visit from a truly loyal friend, but she isn't just coming for a regular visit. what does rainbow have to say? and how will it effect their relationship?

Bolded letters need to be capitalized
strikethrough "effect" because it should be "Affect"

Thank you to everyone who supported me in writing this

you need a period after this sentence

It's 'affect', not 'effect'. :rainbowwild:

5935876 ill fix it when i get home i qm at work thank you:)

I really enjoyed reading this. I also want to find that jerk and... dispose of waste properly.:pinkiecrazy: It would also be the perfect excuse to use my katana. But, yeah. Great story.

A few punctuation errors here and there, needs a through proof-reading, plot is very depressive but that's not necessarily a bad thing.....the relationship at the end was nice and slow, no overly-romantic reaction from either parties which is very impressive.

Good job keeping the tone of the story even through the very end, not a lot of romance stories do that these days.

If I had to rate it as it is right now, 7.8/10, fix up the punctuation and you're golden.:moustache:

5936362 thank you so much yeah i wil edit it as soon as i get a good editor

The wave of heterosexual fics getting featured is beginning to get on my nerves.

5936531

The wave of heterosexual fics getting featured is beginning to get on my nerves.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/2/1/230313.png

5936531

The wave of heterosexual fics getting featured is beginning to get on my nerves.

i.imgur.com/VsJKx9F.gif

Are you making a squel, because that story ended a bit anticlimactically.

5936531
>Like 70% of romance stories on here are lesbian.
>Complains about the "wave" of straight stories in the featurebox.
i.imgur.com/ENvD5ld.gif

5936652 I..is that fool for REAL?

5936531 deal with it, profligate. :^)

I'll say this seemed pretty close to dodging a bullet. All his friends not only letting Spike alone like that after such a serious heartbreak, but actively telling him not to come back?

That seems dangerously close to ending up with him never sending a letter again...or doing anything else for that matter...

5937066 hugs thank you for such a huge honor

The Rainbow Confession, starring Rob Schneider, as Spike the Dragon.


derpicdn.net/img/2015/1/30/817786/thumb.png

collegetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/i.chzbgr.gif Literally the first thought I had while reading the flashback.

i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/010/856/4fcdf2e118613355b500ba5d.jpg My first thought after reading the truth.

I LOVED this story. Great pacing, great depth, just all around loved it.

Edit: Before I forget, I must add my voice the the growing chorus. SEQUEL!

5936531

Troll harder next time.

5937066

I know what you mean. This story hit home for me as well. Not exactly in the same way as yourself, but the same general idea. :fluttershysad: Brilliant story here, author. I didn't know I needed these feels...

Oh, and as an actual gay person, heterophobia actually isn't a thing—trolls excluded (and he needs to try harder, lol).

What if Spike goes on a lust rage until somepony offers?

So is there going to be a part two? I'm only asking because it feels like it could end right here, and everything should seem fine.

This got put in a group ti shouldn't be in, but I have to admit I did enjoy the story. I don't hold it against you someone else fucked up, obviously. Still, nice little surprise when I'm checking something I don't think belongs that I actually enjoyed it. I agree that the pacing is well done and it needs a sequel. Interestingly enough, there is a implication the sequel could belong in the group, though I doubt you'd take that path. I do feel really bad for Rarity though, she was obviously drugged into sleeping or thinking she slept with the guy and because of that she lost Spike who I have to believe she really did love. To have their relationship and happiness ruined like that... just... wow. Makes her story a bit of a tragedy really because she was doing what she believed as right and for it all to be a scam that has ruined her life (though hopefully it doesn't stay ruined). I'm sure a lot of people see this as the story of Rainbow Dash confessing, but I honestly found the most gripping part of the story the details of Spike and Rarity's wrecked relationship. It was quite compelling. I'd really like to see some closure and the behavior of the rest of the Mane 6 who threw Spike under the bus. Rarity never seemed to show any sort of animosity towards Spike, she likely blamed herself for what happened, but the rest their friends instead of seeing how Rarity's apparent, although not actual, betrayal affected him didn't even seem to care. Damn it all I want to see how it all ties up!

5937643 Bad!

5936531
.....I'm not one to join in the giant cluster-fluff.....but really? Go troll else-ware you bigot.

*sigh*
To author; well done....well done.

Great story and i really hope you try for a sequel at least. I really feel bad for rarity and i really want to know how the other mane 6 feel about all this, especially twilight since she is pretty much a mother/sister to spike. So either way Great story, hoping for more.

5938014 Sequel would probably be interesting, yes. Though the evil part of me thought about the possibility of this being one giant joke that backfired horribly.

But that's just me, y'know. :scootangel:

5937643

heterophobia actually isn't a thing—trolls excluded

>mfw

Hate is a two way street.

Well that was a sweet little story. :twilightsmile:

You did an excellent job on the writing though there were a few parts that dragged out, but they were so small I hardly noticed. All in all I really enjoyed this.

three hours of my life well spent!

“My feelings for you...I never saw it until now but... I never realized that I do feel the same way...well not until you said so.”

Oh, come on now, really? That's the best resolution you could come up with? "Spike is too bloody stupid to know his own feelings! Hooray, sudden happy end for everyone"? Kinda unimpressive.

5938786
Yeah, in the same way a jackboot to the face is. Violence goes one way and blood splatters the other.

5937643 Actually it does. along with black/color on white racism, and female on male sexism/misandry. Just because you arent a cishet white male, doesnt exclude you from being capable of being a hateful biggoted fucknut. Not saying you are one, just pointing it out.

Rarity's a fukken ho and spike's a beta drake for even thinking of going back with a twotiming ho. :3

5938786 Hate sure but phobia's are fears. There is certainly individuals of both those sexual orientations who are hateful, but homophobia is a fear of homosexuals and would be like "Gays will ruin families." Where as with hate it can be as simple as blaming others for your misfortune and saying it's all their fault.

5936531

The wave of heterosexual fics getting featured is beginning to get on my nerves.

...
awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/haters-gonna-hate-stairs.gif

5939389
Does one love something that one fears? The emotions are easily intertwined, in this particular instance. Where does one stop and the other start?

5939255

Yeah, in the same way a jackboot to the face is.

If one people is oppressing another, then the oppressors hate. But do not the oppressed also hate the oppressors?

A pre-meditated murderer hates, so he murders. But the family of the murder's victim hate him back, perhaps even more than he hated his victim.

Both parties are guilty of hating. To deny that makes no sense.

5939499
I didn't deny it, just point out how moronic it would be to call that an argument for the existence of "heterophobia." One of those hates is petty, spiteful bigotry while the other is that of a victim for its abuser. It doesn't compare at all.

To be honest, I can't really agree with this story. I think any of its basic plot elements on their own could have worked, but the fact that it was set up the way it was, with the intention of creating a Spike x Dash shipfic, makes it leave a bad taste in my mouth.

The Rarity subplot feels like a really brutal device to break Spike and Rarity up. I don't think it's really designed as a character bit for Rarity, because she only appears in like one scene. Instead it feels like kind of a contrivance to leave Spike romantically open (and ostracized from everyone who isn't Dash), at Rarity's total expense. If the story's plot had centered around his interactions with Rarity as a result of the wedlock problem, I think it could've gone in interesting directions. As it stands... I get a weird feeling in my stomach that it was designed to make Dash the only choice Spike has left. Which makes me really uncomfortable with everything it does to Rarity.

(On a side note, I was a little lukewarm on how all of Spike's further interactions with Rarity and most of the non-Rainbow Dash friends are kind of told instead of shown. "Everyone started acting coldly toward him and it was getting really socially awkward" over, like, actual scenes showing how things had suddenly gotten really awkward between Spike and most of friends on a day-to-day basis.)

Yeah, I'unno. I think it was competently written, but I just didn't feel it. Sorry 'bout that.

Sad, but sweet.

5939414 5938049 5937066 5936857 5936652 5936584 5936565
Hmm, I guess you're right. It's more like a................."Spike".
Not sorry at all.

Holy shit the rarity conflict was so damn brutal i had to take a pause from reading. im sure you have realized by now thanks to all the comments but there is many grammar errors. Overall i liked the story but the Rarity thing was kinda out of nowhere. Wish i could leave better criticism but the current comments do a much better job.

One thing i will say is the ending felt very flat but i really liked the conflict that caused Spike's circle of friends to diminish rapidly because of the failed relationship. Seems like something that would happen IRL.

Wow, Rarity. Unforgivable monster.

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