Spike and Rainbow enjoy some unconventional time together. Too bad they have to fight with their moral compasses to find their way to each other.
Written for The Fourth SpikeDash Competition.
Art by Darisper
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 21st May, 2013
- offline last seen 13 hours ago
FamousLastWords
"Late night, come home. Work sucks! I know!"
FamousLastWords
Joined 21st May, 2013 ·
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yeah, glad I left contest. I'm screwed going up against you.
Bravo Famous. I enjoyed it quite a lot.
*cough* add me to the hangout *cough*
5933686 It's over.
5933744
I know silly
When's the next one?
not bad story. i did notice a few errors here and there. you want any help with finding them?
5933786
Sure thing man. I just didn't have time to do a full edit on it kuz the contest deadline is tomorrow night. But if you have any suggestions, shoot me a PM.
5933771 No idea, hopefully they'll all get Steam and we can do a gaming lobby.
5933811
My PC can't do shit
I can't do that
5933791 alrightio then man. i'll do that whenever i can.
Man, this is such a cool concept! I really like it!
The ending really hit home, too. I know you said you actually had something more planned, but I think where you ended it here works perfectly.
The title really leaves much wanting though, given this is such a serious story...
I . . . I'm torn on this story.
On one hand, it's solid writing (if in need of another editing pass). But on the other, you have the terrible morals of the characters in play, which makes me like the story less. But you avoided the "Romance" tag, which I do appreciate. But then random "Rainbow is a lesbian because duh" cliche, so ehhhhh. But Spike doesn't feel exactly right, to me: I just don't know if I liked how you portrayed him. In the show—from what I remember, at least—he more often than not has a respectful outlook toward the mares, so I don't feel that he would go and do something like that, especially to a more important mare such as a girlfriend/wife. But Rainbow felt in character. If she would actually get past the initial giving up her loyalty, I do feel that she would keep it bottled inside. But then you had Rainbow Dash giving up her loyalty. Rainbow. Dash. Having. No. Loyalty. You know, to the one who she pledged her life to.
I just.
Back and fourth.
Somebody make it stop.
WOW
A very daring story.
5934771
My original plan for this story took a slightly different direction and had Rainbow cheating on Twilight because she didn't feel attracted to mares in general, but I didn't have time to make that work so I had to go without explanation. I know where you're coming from, though.
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/058/f/2/when_twilights_away_color_by_hillbe-d8jsnd9.jpg
All of us. . .
5934932 My goal was to write something a bit different than the norm.
5934790 I'm hoping that's a good 'wow'?
5935938 Of course, my friend
Not in for mare and mare thing but the SpikexRainbow is gold
No.....
Stop it, stop it this instance. I want to win this damned contest! I can't be competing against this!
First the semen story, now this?
Me and B_25 are fucked
5938230 Your guys' story was just as good, if not better though. I'm sure you'll have just as much chance.
5938264 we'll both still lose to the semen story
5933791 my sir I want another chapter ASAP!!!!!
Wow! It's hurts, man.
Great story.
maybe if the story continues, twi and rarity can find out. and be able to talk to each other. something could come of that.
Wow. Poor Twilight and Rarity.
Really good stuff...
needs a sequel though
Good story. Such a harsh thing to deal with too.
Great stuff, definitely needs a sequel.
Oh great, it has two pairings I hate and one I would rather die then write myself.....but at least is has SpikeDash.....I was never here.
6774959 I hate TwiDash as well. Hence it was fun to fuck with it in this story.
6775116 I'm so glad that we think of the same mind my friend. Any chance you could maybe write a Spike and Momlestia story? Maybe with a bit of Spikealoo?
6775129 I have a pretty big project I'm working on right now, but I'll try and think of something good with Celestia and Spike in it.
6775191 I understand completely, take your time. Thanks brother.
Deep.
You should be proud of yourself for inventing this (still) unique little piece.
The Spikedash competion of 2015 garnered the usual fluff-and-forget one-shots, however, this story is the sole exception. You took a chance on a controversial idea, something that caused you to lose due to a judge's ignorance, yet you walked out with a timeless fic because of it.
The sthick is that Rainbow and Spike cheat on their loved ones with one another, creating this inner-turmoil that is interesting to follow, as well as the question which of the two is better: to be unfaithful but happy? Or to be faithful but unhappy?
It doesn't cram the 'correct' answer down your throat, instead, it merely glimpses onto the world inside this idea, and allows you to come up with your own answer----props for the sucker punch ending.
The strucutre is concise and poignant, nothing unique in of itself, but packs the most punch possible within the scope of a one shot. There isn't a missed beat in delivering how scandalous and adrenaline-inducing sneaking into an affair is.
Twilight and Rairty aren't too fleshed out in the fix, but they're or supposed to be. They are the faithful spouses giving it their all to their significant other, but even at their best, it's just not enough for Spike and Dash. They are the perfect guilt-trip needed to evoke the emotion of cheating on someone who cares about you.
The fic obtains its aim perfectly, that any more or any less would hinder it. It's concise in all regards considering, and the prose is what you'd expect for famous.
This is a 3/5 if we were comparing it to other, longer fics, but a big, big, bigger than that, 5/5 for a one shot.
Thank you so much for writing us this perfect little piece
That was an extremely awesome read, wasn't sure what to expect when I saw the tragedy tag but now I see it fits all too well