Boulders
Maud Pie walked across the rocky wasteland of Southern Equestria. There were a lot of rocks around, and she liked that. She'd need to know all about them if she wanted to get her rocktorate. A rocktorate was like a doctorate. But for rocks. Or so Maud had been told. She figured that Southern Equestria was the best place to study rocks. There were a lot of rocks there. A lot of different kinds. That would help her study rocks.
Maud came to a complete stop, opened up the brown satchel at her side, took out a cloth, and wiped the sweat from her brow. Maud considered that she might have to come back when it wasn't so hot. Her keen eyes scanned her surroundings for any sign of shade to take a moment of respite from the scorching sun, but she couldn't find any close by.
Oh well.
Maud put the cloth back in her satchel, closed it, then started walking again. Before her stood a maze of tall, majestic boulders. Most ponies didn't go into them, because it was dangerous. She continued on at her careful pace, her eyes never leaving the rocky cluster as it drew closer. She blinked, then took a deep sniff. Salty, but earthy. These rocks had been here a long time. Sedimentary rocks. She also caught a whiff of a more metallic scent. The maze had igneous rocks, too. Good.
Within a quarter of an hour of walking, Maud entered the cluster of rocks. She scanned the towering rocks and the mighty boulders, and the corner of her mouth twitched up almost imperceptively. Rarely had she shown such excitement. She looked to a large boulder. Maybe that sedimentary rock first. It looked old. She looked at a rock tower. Maybe that igneous rock. That, too, looked old. She could learn a lot about rocks here. In the back of her mind she did regret that none of her classmates had offered to make the journey with her. Not to talk to, but just to be there for the sake of having another pony there. Even with the excitement of rocks, this trip would be dull at times. She put her hoof to her pocket and felt Pinkie Pie's letter, which said that Pinkie was always there with her. Not literally, though, so Maud still needed to brace herself for the loneliness.
Regardless, she had to start somewhere. She carefully took the cloth out once more, wiped the sweat from her brow, put the cloth back, and began walking into the maze of rocks.
* * * *
The sun started going down. That was good. The heat became less intense. But it also became darker, meaning that Maud couldn't see as well. She put a sedimentary rock the size of her hoof down on the ground and ran her tongue over the surface. Salty.
"Sedimentary rock." She rotated it to get a better view of the other side. "Taste test indicates detritus not found in other parts of Equestria. This rock is older than most rocks." She leaned in and sniffed it. "Possibly ten million years."
She took her pencil in her mouth and wrote that down on a notepad lying in the dirt next to her. She flipped to a fresh page and realized that she'd need to get a new notebook out soon. Maud had almost filled this one up entirely.
Maud put her pencil and notebook back in her satchel. She stood up and dusted her frock off before looking at the sky. She probably only had another half an hour before it became too dark to do any more research. She would need to get a base camp set up soon. She looked around at her current surroundings. No, not enough room for a camp.
Maud stared straight ahead at a rock formation, images flashing through her mind's eye as she tried to remember the mental map she had made of the rock maze. If she remembered correctly, a clearing in the rocks about half a mile north might make a decent place for a camp. She began walking towards her destination. She hopped up on the rock formation in front of her, to get over it. Doing so would save time, she figured. It was too wide around to simply walk, but not too tall to hop over. She reached the top and began jumping down the various rock protrusions, taking note of the massive rock wall in front of her.
Unfortunately, not all rocks are sturdy. Either that, or Maud simply jumped on one the wrong way. As soon as she hopped to the next rock about halfway down the formation, she felt the ground start to give way underneath her. With nothing to grab onto, and no time to hop to the next rock, Maud Pie went tumbling down the rock formations, the sound of the rock she had set loose thundering behind her.
Huh, Maud thought philosophically as she bounced off one boulder to the next like a cross between a pinball and a slinky. She began to wonder if maybe--
WHACK.
Maud Pie hit the ground, both physically and mentally coming to a complete stop.
She lay unmoving at the base of the rock wall, one sleeve of her beloved frock beginning to stain with blood. A calm wind blew through the land, gently brushing her mane away from her face as she lay there.
"Ow," she said, meaning every syllable of it.
Maud blinked slightly slower than normal and gently sat up, rubbing her head. She pressed her hoof to a sore spot on her head, then checked the hoof. She didn't see any blood. She looked down to her injured foreleg and pulled the sleeve up. Just a small cut. Nothing too serious. Maud grunted quietly and slowly got to her hooves. However, just before she could stand up straight, she hit her head on a boulder resting above her.
"Ow," she said again, meaning it less this time.
She rubbed her head and moved out of the way of the boulder. It had wedged itself between the stone wall and the formation she had just taken a tumble from. The thought occurred to her that if it hadn't, it would have crushed her. She scanned the boulder, looking for anything special about it. It was a sedimentary rock like most of the ones she had seen that day. She tapped it with her hoof. Solid. She continued looking at it, and that's when she noticed an oddity. There, at the very end of the boulder, wedged between it and the rock wall, was a small rock, slightly smaller than her hoof. She tilted her head and honed in on it. Another thought occurred to her. This one stating that this small rock had stopped the boulder by wedging itself between it and the rock wall. A ridiculous notion. A one in ten billion chance, really. But the proof seemed to be in front of her. This small rock had saved her.
Maud pressed down on the small rock with one forehoof, then slammed the other one into the boulder as hard as she could. The boulder cracked in half, and the two pieces crashed onto the ground, leaving only the rock in Maud's hoof. She moved away from the pieces of the nearly fatal boulder, and put the rock in her hoof on a clear patch of dirt. She sat down in front of it, and stared at it.
It was a small, smooth, oval shaped rock. Sedimentary, if she could guess. It didn't move, as rocks are wont to do. She gently poked it with her hoof.
"Hm."
Maud felt herself unsure of what to do. In truth, this rock was merely that. No significant value, really. She had seen thousands of them around today just like it. And yet... this one had saved her life through some strange twist of fate. She laid down in front of it and leaned in for a closer look.
"Hm," she repeated.
This small thing ensured that she could continue her research. It ensured that she could see Pinkie Pie again. It had, literally, stopped a falling boulder to do all of that. Somehow.
Boulder.
The corner of Maud's mouth once again twitched up in an almost unseen smile.
"Boulder."
She picked the rock up and held it in her hoof. Tilting her head ever so slightly, Maud ran her other hoof over the rock.
"Boulder."
Maud nodded. The rock was named Boulder. Her almost imperceptible smile widened ever so slightly, and she felt an odd rush of affection for this little rock. This rock could have been ground into powder to save her, but it held fast.
Oddly enough, now she didn't feel so alone.
"Do you want to help me study rocks, Boulder?"
The rock did not answer, but an answer was not needed. Maud already knew what Boulder would say if he chose to speak. Maud considered for a moment that it may just have a personality. She had named it, ergo it did. She stood up and gently placed Boulder in her front pocket, right next to Pinkie Pie's letter. Maud walked back over to where she had fallen and picked up her satchel, which had come off during the fall. She felt Boulder's weight in her pocket, and it said that it, no, he, was there for her. And would always be. She put the satchel back on her side, and went out to find the open spot for base camp. The sun finally went down, bathing the rock maze in darkness. Moments later, the moon rose in the sky, lighting the way for a small rock, nestled safely in the pocket of a pony who didn't feel so lonely anymore now that she had found a friend.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- BronyWriter · 1.7k words · 130 7 · 1.7k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 1.7k words · 113 3 · 1.4k views
- DerpyStarlet · 13k words · 81 4 · 1.9k views
- Feenkatze · 5.2k words · 33 2 · 1.3k views
- Feenkatze · 1.9k words · 57 2 · 786 views
- Wise Cracker · 5.9k words · 61 2 · 2.3k views
- Everyday · 3.1k words · 93 1 · 3.7k views
- CartsBeforeHorses · 2.1k words · 76 6 · 2.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.121 seconds
Total duration
911 users online
526,980 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Welp...*flips table* I'm not gonna win...
5779621 kind of disrespectful to the author if that's all you have to say.
I enjoyed it.
5779628 Not really if you think about. I typed that before reading, which indicates that I assumed that it'll be better than my entry. Call it a hidden compliment.
But if it pleases you. I thought the story was a pretty good back story for Maud and Boulders first meeting, and an interesting concept for friendship. I never considered an inanimate object pairing.
5779645 Generally, authors don't like it when all a person does it complain about how they're worse than the author is. However, I'm not up to decide what Bronywriter thinks about your compliment. If it were my story, I'd be satisfied.
That's adorable.
And now I eagerly await a potential Bloomberg story for AJ.
In more serious terms, this is a nice little tale to read of a little stone doing a big thing for a lost pony. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
This is a very good Boulder origin story, and you write Maud well too. I enjoyed it.
d'aww
I think you nailed her personality spot on. Even if you don't win this was still a great story for Maud. I'm definitely going to load it into my headcanon.
The blend of the monotony that Maud embodies combined with the shock of Boulder stopping the boulders and the actual feeling involved in this story... It's wonderful in its simplicity. It explains the backstory, and even sheds light on some of her actions in the show.
I can see now why Maud hid Boulder in her pocket during the game of Camouflage. It wasn't some gambit to win, because she never wanted to win. The point of Camouflage was never to win. Pinkie loves games, but Maud couldn't risk Boulder getting mixed up with some other rock. Not after he'd saved her life. So she hid him in her pocket, knowing Pinkie would enjoy the hunt regardless. As for Pinkie's friends? Well, either she didn't understand the difference between them and Pinkie's idea of a game, or didn't care enough to change the course of action.
Good show for a one-shot about a grey pony looking at rocks alone in a desert. Made me think.
Wow, this was really good, I like this a lot, you really seem to have captured Maud's personality here...
5780106 yeah, definitely, what you said just now also, really makes me think.
Certainly a novel origin story, and a very strong narrative voice to boot. (Given that it's Maud's, I suppose it's strong in multiple senses of the word.) Thank you for this.
*clapping hands*
The writing is definitely pretty.
If I hear the word 'rock' again... it'll be too soon
Good read though, especially that one bit about rocks...
Official EFNW Pre-Con Contest 2nd Round Review
Wow, you really know how to turn a phrase... and how to get inside a character's head. I love how Maud's voice carries through the whole story, and I really love little touches like telling the reader she meant every syllable of 'ow'. And the actual story? It's beautiful, heartwarming, and strange all at once. A very enjoyable read. The only downside is that the mechanics of how the little rock stopped the big one baffled me -- that part perhaps needed a bit more/better spatial description so that I could visualize how that happened. Definitely going to be high up on my list!
I oddly enough don't have that many thoughts about this story. I know I like it, but I don't seem to be thinking much about it.
Still, I found this:
To be the most important sentence in the story. I suppose it's typical of Maud to not give it all that much... feeling. I guess Maud confuses me. I'm typically a bit more energetic: her behavior is rather alien to me.
Hello. Just letting you know that for reasons explained here, I've added your story to the Goodfic Bin (what with me being a story approver there and all.
Have a good one!
5834523 After having read your reviews... I gotta be honest, I'm still not 100% sure of what you thought, really.
hey, how was the contest?
5849289 Dunno, I haven't gotten the results back yet.
I didn't want to like this fic. I didn't want to root for a fic where one of the friends is an inanimate object... but darn it, you just got Maud so perfectly and the way she expresses affection for the little rock that saved her life is just... HNNNNNG!
I really enjoyed this little story and I'll be adding it to my faves. Good luck in the contest!
So I read this a few weeks ago during the contest judging, but as I was reading so many stories for it, I didn't have time to comment.
I think you did a good job showing Maud's character and personality, and I like your explanation for how she met Boulder (though the reason for the name is kind of a stretch.)
While it was well written, I must say it didn't really grab me. I think the main reason for that is the pacing. It completely fits Maud... slow, methodical, staring at rocks. It's good art to have form fit the story, but... it made it a bit of a dull read. Things that should have been exciting were, through the filter of the prose, made "meh." This can, of course, be used to great effect, and that's what Maud originally was... a perfect straightman/foil for Pinkie. However, without the comic relief bouncing against the immovable object of Maud, the story weighs too heavily on the stoic side of the scales.
There were some great memorable moments though. I especially liked the phrase "Ow, she said, meaning every syllable of it." The ending was also kind of touching, as she, in her own, drag way, contemplates how close she'd come to death and not seeing Pinkie again.
5932997 Well, glad you enjoyed some parts of it. Not sure how the name "Boulder" is a stretch when "he" saved her from a boulder. I did want to avoid it being too slow and plodding. My intent was to make the whole story "off-kilter" as it were. Not boring, but charming in the way that Maud is. Hence lines like meaning every syllable of ow. To be fair, it is hard to do a Maud story alone, so I did try to make it about her thought process (her thoughts about Pinkie and such) and to not make it drag too much.
Also, when are the results going to be announced? Or have they been already and I've just been out of the loop?
5933179 On the name... I meant, he saved her FROM a boulder. If she'd named him "Savior" that'd make sense. Or "Boulder Blocker" maybe. Naming him for the thing he stopped seems a bit like calling Batman, "Killer" because he stopped so many killers, rather than Batman, because he's a man dressed like a bat. That's just my logic though, and I totally understand if you (and Maud) have your own. :-)
And I can tell you put work into the pacing, it just... well it just doesn't work for me personally. Really, I think this is highly subjective and I know it. So don't take my "dislike" of that part of it to mean you did it wrong,. It's just that I have the attention span of a rabid mongoose I think, so that part of things weighs more in my mind than it does for others. Same way I know a lot of people that consider a story ruined on the third typo, but I usually don't mind a bit if it's otherwise good.
As for the contest... yeah, results went up last Saturday! https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/476366/efnw-writing-contest-winners Beware: Comments contain lots of drama. *sigh*
Also know that I didn't actually end up with your story in any of the brackets/rounds I judged, so as far as the contest goes, my opinion (negative or positive) on the story was completely irrelevant. In other words, "It's not my fault!"
All that said, I personally think this was in the upper level of quality for the stories we received, but it just wasn't quite as much of an all-around favorite as the final selections.
5933179 Oh, and normally I wouldn't do this, but... I'm going to talk about someone else's story in your comments.
Part of my opinion may come from the fact that there was another story in the contest that also features Maud, and so it was hard for me not to directly compare the two. Again, this is HIGHLY subjective, but I found I liked the other one more than yours, and I had to sit down and really think about the "why" behind that general feeling.
I know that's a horrible thing to say, as it sounds like "Hey, here's a story that did it better than you!" but I hope we've talked enough that you know I would never mean it that way. I'm linking it and mentioning this because I want to illustrate what I mean by personal preference, and emphaize just how subjective the final difference in choices are when the rest of the writing is done well. Many of the other judges didn't like that story as much as I did, and may very well have liked your take better. Still though, if you're curious, you should read A Bump In The Road. I'm not saying it's a better story objectively, just that I personally found it more appealing.
Oh, and you're welcome to tell me all the ways I'm wrong.
5934436 *Was one of the more quality ones. Wins last year. Doesn't even get an honorable mention.*
That's disappointing. Ah well. Thanks for reading it, anyway...
Just you wait until next year!!!
I love the way you have written this origin story. I love it a lot. I thank you for writing this.
Very nicely done n_n Sweet and funy and fits perfectly for Maud.
Good origin story for Boulder.