• Member Since 24th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Pyrestrike


Pessimism paves the way for Optimism

T

It was 16 Years when Twilight Sparkle was exiled from Equestria before the Changeling invasion. Equestria fell not long after, and ponies from all over the devastated nation are searching for places of refuge from the swarms of parasites patrolling the sky. Twilight's friends have searched for years trying to find a safe haven for their families as well, and they have finally found a single location not tainted by the Changelings. The only problem; it was founded by Twilight herself.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 135 )

I was searching for some adventure stories and I saw this little gem pop up! It's well written and my only quibble is that Spike didnt beg to go with her or help Twilight, he grew up with Twilight and it would make more sense if he stayed with her. I know in the episode he left her too but I think if it were a more permanent situation he would stay by her side. He is her Number One Assistant after all, plus then we get to see a giant epic dragon guarding the Twilight Citadel. Liked, Favourited and Tracked.

@Pyrestrike...
5752076

Have to agree with Blantant Chaos. Spike might turn away from Twilight Sparkle when she is acting crazier than usual, but banishment...? No way he would (believably) abandon her so easily/casually.

It has also been shown that when the situation is dire, Spike would defy Celestia and literally cross entire worlds (or rather, dimensions) to stand with Twilight.

Interesting, wonder if Celestia made it out too... Well gonna have to keep an eye on this.

I like this concept of AU; just wow. I'll give this favorite and thumbs up to motivate you to write!

so what happen to Twilight in 16 years?

love this cant wait for more

I NEED MORE OF THIS FAST!!

Comment posted by Pyrestrike deleted Mar 19th, 2015

All will be revealed in time. Besides I have a little role for Spike in the future. That's all I'll say for the matter. :moustache:

Comment posted by Pyrestrike deleted Mar 19th, 2015

Attention!!! I have made a few mistakes with the plot of the story and grammar so I will be fixing chapter 2 in the next day. Disregard the current chapter2 as some of my ideas from a other story (a tragedy) made its way into this story from my head. Sorry.
:derpyderp1:

5755720 I would suggest you find a pre-reader or editor before you release chapters. I would also suggest you to use google drive (formerly g docs for writing your fanfics then transferring it here when it's done).

Happy Writing!

I am rather looking forward to seeing where this goes. :)

Not a bad start. I will be watching this in the future. Don't disappoint us.:trixieshiftleft:

For some reason I always enjoy Twilight in exile storys. Here is hoping this one finishes.

so when is a next chapter going to be?

Hmm, impressive so far. Can't wait for another chapter to see where it goes.

I'm waiting for Twilight's return. also what happen to the princesses? I really don't care what happen to Celestia.

I get the feeling twilight is going to be a bitch throughout the entire story.

Good luck on your story dude, but I'm outta here.

so were did you get this idea from?

Very odd, this just showed up in my list as updated but there is no updated chapter. Am I missing something?

3rd Chapter is out now for all of you. Enjoy it if you can, that's all I'll say for the matter

Interesting chapter the hints are there but it seems no one is picking up on them. Should be interesting to see where this ends up.

5837980
Then will you be a dear and explain to others what the hints are. Unless you wish not to spoil fun, it's your choice and that's all I'll say of the matter.

5838125 nah, more fun to watch people figure it out. Most are pretty blatant though.
For some reason I always enjoy 'insert character' in exile stories. And this one is set far enough down the road the characters have kids of there own. Whole new dynamic added.

5838208
Surprises and Suspense, that's the only thing I'll do.
Jumpscares and Horrors are not all that await you.
If you see the clues and hints, do not be shy.
Just estimate the answers and you will get by.
But of course, I won't make it that easy.
Not a cakewalk with fresh air so calm and breezy.
The Lion awaits patiently in his den.
Until you finally reach the suspected end.
So look on brave readers! Trek unto the latter.
But be patient always. That's all I'll say of the matter.:moustache:

That is good. It looks like Chrysalis will be attacking soon. Which side was the changeling hiding in?

Well Chrysalis let's hope you're in for a long wait. I don't think the Arourian Queen will be in a talking mood when she sees the Mane 5. Also I'm guessing here that Shining Armor, Cadence, and the Princesses fates are ambiguous?

Just so many things come to mind with this story. Keep up the good work.

Dang, this is some neat stuff you have going on here. I have always liked the "exiled Twilight" stories, but sadly there aren't many good ones. This has lost of potential though! An exiled Twilight who somehow managed to build her own nation and now stands to threaten Chrysalis rule? Awesome!

I hope we get to see her motives explored - like what caused her to try and establish her own country instead of simply retreating to some faraway city of some other nation and simply living her life there quietly, and how she managed to do it in such a short time - not that many years have passed after all. And where did she find the ponies to do so. I mean, I get the impression that she formed her own country instead of taking a piece of Equestria - does that mean there were hordes of 'free' ponies living outside Equestria's borders that banded under Twilight's rule or something?

And I can't wait until the bunch manage to meet Twilight again ... for some reason I imagine that's one reunion that won't go all that smoothly. Speaking of which, I wonder where Celestia/Luna are. I just hope Cadence wasn't left to die in the caves below Canterlot.

And Singe? Why do I get the feeling that Twilight's husband didn't die but was actually captured by the Changelings and i dunno, experimented upon to form whatever that thing was they were talking about? This should be good ...

I only wish that you slowed down the pace a bit. Your story is moving very fast and the dialog and narration could use more details and descriptions. Sometimes it's even a bit hard to say who is even taking, because the scenes aren't described properly. Still a very entertaining story and I can hardly wait for moar :pinkiehappy:

5934974
I suggest you rethink your idea about Singe.
It's all in the names.
That's all I'll say of the matter

Exile is never for someone's own good; it's for everyone else's (perceived) good. Seems weird to have someone say that.

It's also usually recommended to write out numbers instead of using numerals, particularly with relatively small numbers. :twilightsmile:

5937832 Singe is probably Shiftwing's number-one assistant. :pinkiecrazy:

This is interesting. Though I must advise that you inform the reader on who is speaking what line so they could figure out who's talking. Applejack's easy, but the rest need work.

I apologize for my recent inactivity on the Twilight Citadel. I have run into a multitude of important events which require my attention. A new Chapter will be posted in a week or two, please be patient with this. That is all I have to say of the matter.

6050668 IRL comes first, after all! Good luck out there. :twilightsmile:

Dear God I've been backtracked and set back badly recently. Due to the unforseen wedding of my relatives and the baby shower of my Aunt, I'm afraid that the story will be put on hiatus until I've finished most of my plans and tasks for the month. I swear that a new chapter will be posted in due time, estimated time until a new chapter is 2 or 3 weeks. I apologize for the delay but relatives are relatives and moments like these only happen once in a lifetime. I won't let this story die on me yet and I can assure you all that I won't be procrastinating on it either. That is all I'll say of the matter.:derpyderp2:

A new Chapter for you all. If I need to change the rating on this story because of the next chapter please let me know. That's all I'll say of the matter.

Blrhp, i hope we get a new chapter soon.

So that's what happened to tia...not big surpise. I'm glad your alive again. I wonder if that pony was Shining Armor. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Great chapter BTW and now I what to know what happened to the other princesses. I still don't care about tia.

Celestia is allive? For a second I though she Was dead. And the pony they tortured and turned into a monster. I wouldnt be surprised if it Was BlueBlood.

I have a feeling that the 'creature' that was tortured was Spike.

6215817 If it is, it'll probably mean that that filth Chrysalis and her bugs are dead when Twilight finds out.

If she still even cares about him, that is.

i have a sinking feeling that i know who's in that room. does anyone remember spike being mentioned at all in the Citadel with twilight?

lest it involve him directly

This should actually be "unless", if I'm reading the intent correctly. :twilightsmile:

Also, squeeeeeeee update! :pinkiehappy: I'm still betting that's Shiftwing's #1 Assistant. :pinkiecrazy:

If it is Spike then when Twilight finds out no matter how she might feel she will destroy the Changelings. The noble Unicorn also is of interest, Possibly Fancy Pants or Blueblood? Have we had mention of Shining Armor? Bet Celestia is in a cocoon. Can't trust her I think in any other type of cage.

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