Missive
Dad,
So I’ve been looking at this page for, like, a million years, and I can’t come up with a way to start. I don’t even get why I’m writing this letter in the first place, because it’s literally useless. And dumb. And the pen is weird and it feels funny in my mouth.
I prefer, you know, getting someone else to write down what you say out loud. Way more awesome than scribbling yourself. Yeah, at first you feel kind of silly, but you have a little guy who’s just writing every little thing you say, so that’s a lot of attention he’s paying to you, you know.
So yeah, not really my thing, writing. Don’t know if you can tell. The longest things I’ve written all by myself lately were an exam and a letter to Celestia. And I kind of told you all about them anyway, so why would I talk about that? Writing to Celestia felt nice, though.
Like, I don’t know. It’s weird. You have all that stuff in your head, and you just write it out, and BAM, it all sounds so dumb and simple. “I was way too big headed back there!” you say. And it’s like, yeah, I totally was. Good thing I realized. So you explain it, and you get over it.
I guess that’s why I need to write this letter to you? This wasn’t my idea, Applejack suggested it. Don’t know what to write anyway, she just said “write a letter to your Pops, Dash”.
She called you Pops. How lame is that. I mean, woah. Way to lose cool points, AJ.
So, yeah. Writing, writing, writing. I’m writing.
Okay, I guess I should explain why I’m trapped in this room? That kind of sounds like what I should say. I mean, come on, even I get that. They’ve trapped me in here for that, they say. For my own good.
And for the guards’ sake too. Hah! You should have seen them, Dad. I scared them pretty hard. They were like, “Woah, that awesome girl is too much for us! Run!” and I was like “Not so fast!” and yeah I just realized that wasn’t awesome in the slightest and I should really apologize to them because I was a total jerk.
Way to lose cool points there, Dash.
They were only doing their job, I know that. I wasn’t exactly thinking back there, which sucks, and now I wonder if they’re going to do something about it. Although they’ve already kicked me into this room so it’s like being in jail already.
Wait, who am I kidding here? This room’s awesome. It’s a room in the castle, after all. There’s a giant bed in here and I’m counting seventeen pillows. I don’t think I’m going to spend the night here, though, so those pillows will go to waste. Who needs so many pillows anyway? Rarity?
Oh, and talking about Rarity; I gotta thank my friends. Especially Fluttershy and Applejack. I mean, the others were nice, of course, but those two really were cool, instead of just trying to be cool, you know? Everypony wins, and they’re all cool, and I love them a lot, but those two get the big prize.
But maybe I’m not being fair? All of them tried their hardest. Not a single one yelled at me or tried to pin me down, except for that last part with the guards (but I totally get it so I’m not mad) and that is really awesome.
It was their faces, you know. What irked me up so much at first was how they looked at me, I guess. Well, not just that, but I wanted to yell at somepony and they were right there and they were doing that, so there we go. Bam, yelling at your face. They didn’t seem to mind, not even Fluttershy.
I guess they were kind of in
So I just found out there’s no way I can erase a sentence I don’t like, which is absolute bogus, because now there’s that stupid phrase on top of this one and looks just dumb. I guess I could cross it out, but that’d just make it stand out more. Guess I’ll just ignore it.
Still. They were right next to me when I got the letter, you know? The letter. Stupid thing, I tore it to shreds. I don’t even remember doing that, but it was totally torn by the time I wanted to read it again, and I had ink on my hooves, so yeah.
We were having a picnic. We were all laughing and Pinkie was doing this crazy stuff she does when she gets a cake and suddenly there are balloons coming out of it. And then the mail guy spots me and yells my name, and bam now I have a brand new letter. Hey girls, look at this letter. I wonder what it is.
So I open it and I read it out loud, right? Like, that’s the coolest way to read a letter. I always do that. Always trying to be more awesome, remember? So there I am, reading, and then I get what the letter’s saying.
And I guess I kept on reading. ‘Cause that’s what I do, I’m awesome till the end. Blah blah blah blah. Then it kind of went all over my head, and I read it again, although I didn’t do it out loud this time.
That’s when they looked at me in that funny way. Guess that’s when I lost my cool, too. All the way down. No more cool points for Rainbow. Boom.
I have no idea what they said. I wasn’t really listening. Something about them being sorry, I guess. I didn’t care. But what else could they do? So yeah. “We’re so sorry, Rainbow.” “Oh, Dash, we’re so sorry.” I think Rarity was crying.
Hah.
You know, usually I would call her a crybaby, but I guess that’d be unfair. I didn’t cry, of course. I mean, I never sink that low, you know? But Rarity is made of a different material. Not me. I have standards. Pfff, crying. Yeah, right.
I did yell at them, though. I just, you know. They kept talking to me, and I didn’t want to listen to them, and I wanted to be alone, so I yelled and I ran. I think that’s when I ripped up the letter. I don’t know.
Don’t really remember where I ran. I think I ended up in some kind of park. Does it matter? I didn’t really go that far, anyway. They caught me in no time. Usually they are no match for me (fastest pegasus alive, remember?) but I didn’t really feel like flying. I still don’t. Didn’t feel right, I guess.
Applejack was a really good sport, though, because she didn’t talk or cry or anything. She just hugged me, and then she said they were there for me, and I had to get away. From Ponyville, from the park, from the letter… I just had to go.
Twilight wanted to at least pack a couple things, but Applejack said no, we go to Canterlot, and we go now. That was good.
Mom wasn’t here when we arrived. I don’t know, I guess I was expecting her to be waiting for me at the train station, and I was nervous about that. But she’s not here. I felt kind of relieved.
I don’t really want to write the next part.
I lied to you. I guess I didn’t think it was that much of a deal, but, I don’t know. “Hey, Dad! Do you know how much lame your daughter is? THIS MUCH!” Sure. That’s not something I’d like to write.
I lied when I said they were wasting the room. It’s not true. I’ve used the pillows. I’ve been staying at this room for a couple days, because when we came to Canterlot Twilight said we couldn’t all fit in her house, and I didn’t want to see her parents anyway.
So we came here. This is my room. And there are no seventeen pillows anymore, because I tore them apart, just like the letter I guess. And I kicked the walls, and I broke the chairs. I yelled at the windows and slammed the door, and I don’t even know why I did that.
It was stupid, I know. I need to apologize for it.
But it felt nice, you know? Just, breaking everything in sight. And then seeing how it stays like that. It’s like, you get a little bit of control back. You're there, and those things are there, and then bam everything is ruined, and you feel cool because finally you’re getting it back, you’re being you again, and everything feels like it can be fixed.
But then you stop, I guess. I stopped. And then you’re left with a lot of broken stuff, and the rush goes away, and you feel dumb. I broke the room, and I don’t know why I did it, so I just stare at it and feel like a stupid crybaby.
Rainbow Dash, you’re being lame.
And getting lamer. This is embarrassing. I just
I came out after the second day, took a shower, and
It would have been nicer if I had been like my friends, you know? Like, they never lost control. That’s what I wanted to write before, when I stopped.
They were in control. That’s what I didn’t want to write. And I don’t know where it came from, by the way. In control.
I don’t know, it was just bad. Like, this is not cool, but why are they so collected when I’m like this? I don’t see Pinkie breaking any room. Twilight is not losing her mind. They are just looking sad, but they’re sad at me. It’s different.
This is not cool at all.
Why even bother. I already hit rock bottom. Admitting it won’t make it worse.
I yelled at you.
I got out of this stupid room, after Celestia knows how many days of doing nothing but screaming at ponies and breaking stuff, and the first thing I do is walk to you and yell at your face. I don’t even remember what I said. It wasn’t pretty, though, because Fluttershy tried to drag me away but I just pushed her away and kept yelling. Yelling, yelling, yelling.
Rainbow’s cool points are negative now, and going even lower.
So yeah. Go there, scream at you, feel like a jerk afterwards. That was it.
I’m sorry, I guess. I gotta apologize for all that. I gotta apologize for a lot of stuff once I get out of here, and apologizing to you first sounds like the best option. The least uncool, I guess?
I’m sorry I yelled at your face. I don’t know what went through me.
No that’s a lie. I know what went. It’s just
It was, like, I hadn’t really got it yet, you know? Sure I’d got the letter, and I’d break the room and everything. So I was, like, conscious about it, right?
But then I saw you and it was real. You were lying there, and I’ve heard ponies said it makes you look like you’re sleeping, but you aren’t sleeping, and I could tell.
You’re dead.
Bam, gone. Kaput. Dad no more.
I don’t know. Didn’t feel right. Didn’t feel right at all, you see, because, well. Why are you dead, in the first place?
See I think that’s what irked me. Because this is not how it’s supposed to go, right? You’re supposed to get very old, and see how far I go, and then be all “Good job, Dash!” and I’d be “Yeah, I’m awesome!” and Mom would be “That’s my girl!” and then we would all be cool and everything would be nice.
But instead I get a stupid letter that says sorry, Dash, that’s not going to happen. And it uses this stupid talk that I hate and it’s all “condolences” and “great loss” and “hard times” and no, that’s not right, because at least you should tell me. You’re supposed to be predictable, okay? You’ve always been. Always read you like an open book.
Not even Mom could tell this time. Great surprise, they say, big accident. I don’t buy that.
That’s just not how it goes. Maybe that’s why I broke the room. Maybe that’s why I kicked the walls. I got uncool. You made me uncool, because you died, and what I’m supposed to do now?
This blows.
I didn’t want to think about it. Still don’t. But I go there, and you’re there, and you’re dead. And you don’t have those lame wrinkles around your eyes, and you’re pale, and someone braided your hair. Your hair was always a mess.
Wrinkles, messy hair, predictable. You were so uncool. You were a dork all your life, and now you’re dead, and that’s so lame, and that’s so pathetic, and I’m pathetic too and the room is a mess and I don’t know what to do, because this is all your fault.
Because you died.
It still feels weird to write that down.
Your funeral hasn’t even been yet. There was nopony there, you know? It was this big, stupid room, full of nice portraits and old tapestry and huge windows, and I wanted to break it all down. Break you too, even, I guess. What’s the big deal? You’re already dead. It can’t do much worse.
This is all your fault.
You just let me down, Dad, and
I don’t
I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize for yelling and I ended up yelling at you again. That’s messed up. I’m really sorry.
And I mean it. Not like I didn’t mean it before, but you know how this goes. Like, really mean it. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.
At least I didn’t cry. I’m sure I didn’t. I never cry, you know? Like, never-ever. You know that for sure, huh? Betcha you can’t name one single time where I cried as a kid. Well, I guess I did when I was very very tiny but that doesn’t count.
I’m sure Mom cried, though. I don’t know, I haven’t seen her yet. How messed up is that? She’s not arrived. But she cried, I’m sure. She cries all the time. She even cried when I came to Ponyville, right? You just went there and did that thing where your wrinkles get all wrinkly.
And I hugged her and you were all dorky and called her a crybaby, and then patted me on the head and said that yeah you got it Dash, go kick some butt.
But who cares? You’re dead.
And I was yelling at you when Princess Celestia came in. That was the worst part. You know how she is, always cool and collected and wisey and stuff. She never loses it.
I hate this. I hate admitting this. This is why they trapped me in this room. I saw Celestia, and she saw you and said something. And she sounded like the letter, right? Great loss. Condolences. Yaddah yaddah.
So I yelled at her.
And hey, this one did feel nice, and I’ve hit my head against the wall a lot because of it, because I like Celestia, and that wasn’t fair.
I yelled at her, and I was glad she was there because that meant I could yell. She’s alive, you see. She’s been there for, like, forever. And she won’t ever go, and that’s awesome, but it doesn’t feel okay because that’s not how it should be. There’s her, and then there’s Mom, and then there’s you, and why is only one who can’t die in there? Why is she so special?
“You’re nothing,” I said, or something like that. “You have done nothing to me. He did more than you, but now he’s dead and you’re not, Princess, and that’s not fair.”
I said that to the Princess. And I said worse things. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Dad. I shouldn’t have said that. But I wanted her to be dead, and I wanted you to be alive, and I said that, word for word. “I hope you die,” I said.
Then she talked, and it was like reading the stupid letter again. My greatest condolences, I know it’s a big loss, I am so sorry.
I lost it.
A guard tried to stop me, but yeah. I’m really sorry. That wasn’t cool. I tried to kick the princess, and suddenly everypony was screaming, and there were guards, and Applejack was really yelling at me, and Fluttershy was… I don’t know what she was doing.
They stopped me, and here I am.
They got me in this room, and they locked the door, and the window is locked too and I can’t break it. I know it because I tried.
I didn’t know what I was doing. I don’t know what I’m doing now either. I’m dumb. I don’t want to keep writing. This is useless. This is just
F
I don’t
This
Dad, I want to say that
I don’t have time they just opened the door I don’t want to get out of here I’m sorry. There are no guards, it’s just my friends, but they are looking at me, and they're going to get the letter, and I haven’t finished. I’ve told them so, but they’re still coming here.
They’re standing right next to me. I don’t want to stop writing. I’m sorry. I lied. I lied, this is not useless, please don’t let this end. If I’m writing I’m not breaking anything, or sulking, or trying to attack the Princess. I’m talking to you, and I gotta do that, because otherwise I’ll mess things up again. I don’t want that.
Twilight says I need to rest. I don’t want to rest. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.
I lied. I lied all the time. You are not lame, you were never lame, you’re the most awesome pony I’ve ever known. You were predictable in a good way, and those wrinkles were awesome, and you always knew what to say even when you didn’t.
You were amazing.
You were amazing, and you never let me down. I don’t know why I yelled at you, this is not your fault at all. It’s my fault.
I let you down. You wouldn’t have reacted like this if you’d got the letter. You would have been cool, and maybe a little bit of a dork, but in that cool way of yours. You would have said “Well, Dash will kick some butt wherever she goes!” and that’s it.
But you are not the one who got the letter, because it was me, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say to Mom.
I cried, too. I wanted to play it cool, but it was stupid. I am stupid. I cried all the time. I think I started crying when I read the letter, but I don’t remember. I’ve cried in this room. I did it when nopony was around because I didn’t want them to see.
I didn’t want you to know, either, but now I don’t want you to go, and even though I’m crying and everypony is seeing it, I don’t even care.
You are dead.
I’m crying because you are dead and that’s not right, and I tried to attack the Princess and I’m not trapped in this room anymore but the room is still broken, and I yelled at the girls. I want to tell them I’m sorry. I want to say that I didn’t mean to, even if I did, and that you are dead and I’m sorry I broke the room, and that I don’t know what to say to Mom, and that I’ll let her down too.
But if I do that I’ll drop the pen and they’ll take the letter from me. I don’t want that. At least like this I’m talking to you, even if this is dumb because you’re not going to see it. And I want to apologize. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I let you down. I should be the one that’s dead, because you would have been cooler.
You can’t go, because what’s left without you? Mom is left, but I can’t deal with that, because she will cry and I’m supposed to be the one that doesn’t cry. When did you ever cry? Never, that’s when. And yet here I am, and I’m bawling like a stupid, dumb baby.
But now you’re gone, and that’s it, and the Princess is still here, and Mom is still here, and I need to face both. But I don’t want to.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went away, and I’m sorry I did what I did, and I don’t know what to do from now on.
Tomorrow is your funeral.
Mom will come tomorrow. We can’t have the funeral until she’s here, but she can’t fly all the way to Canterlot, because she’s not feeling well. So I’ll see her tomorrow. I’ll be waiting at the station because I know I wanted her to be there when I arrived. She’ll want me to be there.
She’ll want you, too, but you are dead.
Tomorrow I’m supposed to say goodbye to you. I am sorry I disappointed you. Gotta be more awesome. I need to make you proud. I don’t think I will, but I need to try.
But I don’t want to try, either. I don’t want to be more awesome. I want to stay in this room and not get out.
You would probably yell at me if I did that, but I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry I’m a failure. You died and I can’t do anything. Mom will cry, too. I’ll try not to cry with her.
I don’t want you to go. But you went away anyway. I let you down.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I will never yell at you again. I will never do that, I promise. Please, believe me. I’m sorry. Please, don’t be dead.
Please don’t be dead.
Please.
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Then don't.
This was a nice little read here.
Well that's unfortunate.
If not crying is crying, then what about crying? Awesome story, I cried. (I just lied)
MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD.
Good? Good. Let's move on, then, to the symbiotic sycophancy.
To the tune of 'The Raven'.
Writing on a letter bleary, eyes are red and hoof is weary
Rainbow writes a missive rather messier than before
And her father's deeply sleeping just the thought sends her to weeping
As denial just keeps on creeping, creeping to this letter's fore.
"Just a letter," Rainbow Dash muttered, "And AJ's made me write some more"
"Only this... just to that dork."
So succinctly in this chamber, that her friends had sought to cage her
As she wreaked a wrathful rager upon Princess, guards and more.
Eagerly she sought her father but this letter loomed o'er her larger
And she hoped the guards wouldn't charge her - for more pillows from the store -
For the plush and pricey pillows that cost a motza from the store -
Ripped and torn and thrown at the door.
But the silken sad uncertain rustling of that quill pen scritching numbly
thrilled her - filled her with an inner calm the pony had never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of her heart, she spoke weakly bleating
'Tis my friends entreating lately at this chamber's door-
Some great friends entreating entrance at my chamber's door; -
Leave me alone, this I implore.
Then you see her resolve no longer bore the hesitation growing stronger,
"Dad" she pleaded, "Please don't be dead, don't die on me anymore";
Yes you were a big dork, but please don't go popping your cork
Because now I feel I might hork, and I don't have cool points left to store
And Dad I really need you - Here she pleaded once, final, more; -
Silence here, and nothing more.
5626249
This has more literary value than the entire goddamn story, you asshole.
5626269
I can't help but agree.
Nice poem.
Quoth the pegasus "Nevermore."
Also
could have been:
And Dad I really need you - She pleaded finally, once more; -
Wow...
LIES!
Came here expecting funnies. Got feels instead. I don't regret it.
A couple of weeks ago my grandfather died and I totally suppressed everything because my mom and grandma were inconsolable and someone had to be the adult. I kept just pushing it down and pushing it down. He'd been "dying" since I was seven and I'm 28, so I thought it would never happen...
But it did... and now it's real for me... It's real for me because of ponies. I feel as lame as Rainbow Dash did, sitting at my desk, asking my computer to fix it.
Thank you, Aragon. Seriously... I needed this, even if it hurts.
Feels hit me hard.
When it started on a bit of a cheerful note, I decided I'd read it out loud for the fun of it. Then it started getting sad, but I kept reading. I don't regret that though, because that makes the story that much better. It even got to a point where my voice sounded as if I was sobbing, and I didn't realize it until the point where the Mane Six were going into the room. It takes a lot for a story to make me sad, but you somehow nailed it.
Congrats.
Holy crap. I could not help but chuckle ruefully at the familiarity of this. It reminded me of when my mom died (which happened four months ago, on Halloween, no less). How I could not cry. Partially from shock but mostly from already having mourned her death years ago when she chose her horrible boyfriend over her family. ...Over me. The anger I felt with her for dying and with myself for not feeling sad. I was not sad she died, nor was I happy. I was angry. Angry she left me alone. Angry that the only parent I ever knew I would never see again. Angry at the holidays that followed and her birthday. And I cannot help but chuckle ruefully at the concept of being angry at intangible ideas.
But we must just KBO.
And here come the waterworks. It's five a.m.! It's too early for feels!
5626169
oi39.tinypic.com/25rdz4n.jpg
Goddammit, Aragon...
I have seen many people die. I came to accept it as the inevitable consequence of mortality around the age of 8. Grief, if I feel it now, is very transient.
But I must ask one thing: Are we certain Dash is this emotionally incapable of dealing with death?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3nrsjtfLm1r9oud5.gif
(reads the title)
Well don't then.
(reads the story)
Well tough shit. Write more, it's good stuff.
Gah! Why doesn't this have a sad tag!?
That almost made me cry. Wow. It's good and sad.
*Possibly butthurting joke alert*
I'm so sorry, Rainbow Dash. But, well, everyone has to die sometime, right? I mean, if everyone lived forever we'd all be dead from the exponential growth of the pony population causing there to be a lack of resources. So technically, it's for the greater good, right?
Positive thinking!
5629577 For once, I'm with Alondro. She's a wannabe soldier, and even Equestria has its share of foes. She's certainly not a sociopath, but if she handles death this badly, she might not be cut out for the military life.
Not at all what I was expecting. No regrets. In fact, I'm thankful. This was really good. Exemplary, even. Such an emotional side is rarely explored with Rainbow Dash, yet you did so with great pacing and wonderful development. She just breaks. What better way to show it?
This is going up in my personal Display Case. Also, since I'm not yet, I'll start following you. Keep being awesome.
All I can say is the clichéd line:
Dem feels.
Nice story, but I am gonna be that guy and say it: I expected the room was a closet.
5626194 If
not crying = crying
then
crying = not crying
if
you = crying = not crying
and you lied then
you = not crying = crying.
you = cried erytme
A few lingering typos; however, given that RD was writing, they didn't really matter. In fact, given the emotional power of this piece, buck 'em and a bag of chips. This was exceptional, powerful, and just straight up great.
5629577
5631413
Well, this is a fanfiction. Are we sure Fluttershy and Pinkie are in a homosexual relationship? This is just me developing one approach to death. Dash felt natural for me, and getting angry instead of crying all over everypony looked more in-character. We've never seen her cope with death, so hell if I know, this is but an interpretation.
It's about opinions, though, I get that. So maybe you have a point? Dunno.
5631629 Well, yes, in a trio with Rarity, but that's only one universe of many. In another, Pinkie is with Twilight, and Fluttershy with Rarity, but that has little to do with Rainbow Dash's issues with throw pillows.
I'm not a fan of sad stories, but this was nice. Upvoted, but not favorited.
This was an interesting read, I must admit. I like how you approached the situation, and you certainly kept it close to what it seems like RD would do.
... I'd probably be sadder, but I never knew my old man. Left when I was young, died before I grew up enough to meet him on my own.
Maybe some day I'll write him a letter, too.
A real nice deep look into Rainbow Dash's personality.
Well written and... yes it managed to make me swallow a few times.
Liked and faved.
gifbin.com/bin/032010/1269259657_omg_cat.gif
I don't even know how I did not see this coming, all the clues were there !
I was reading a story nice story where Dashie's writing a letter to his Papa, and in just one second, I'm falling into depression, calling my dad to tell him that I love him, and reading lots of Rainbow Dad happy fanfics to get better...
Really good story, but it definitly deserves the 'sad' tag.
Well done, Aragon. Ignore anyone who said otherwise, this was perfectly done. Disagreements aren't focusing on what matters.
Sad tag needed technically... but maybe you didn't want SPOILER? I'd put the tag though.
5632186
5632060
5630366
Hmm. I don't particularly like the "sad" tag, as I consider it pretty artificial -- you're telling the readers to be sad at the story, rather than letting them feel whatever they want. It's not a genre per se, it's like an order. The sadness of a story is pretty subjective; I'm sure at least one guy read this and thought it was just a character study and nothing more
Plus, I didn't write the story to be particularly sad or depressing, so I genuinally thought Slice of Life actually fitted better.
Not like I haven't used the "sad" tag before, of course, but that's still a reason. Aside from that, I didn't want to spoiler, as one of you guessed. Although I don't know how clear the hints actually are. I was going for a "slow realization" theme here.
Sorry if it was an unpleasant surprise or something.
5629577
What this man said. Also, this reads more like a voice recording than a letter. That might have been a better choice.
Overall, I do like the intensity of the emotions at work, but some of the stuff that happens borders on ridiculous. So Celestia apparently has no idea how to deal with ponies who must come to terms with mortality despite having lived among them for millennia (and probably having lost friends left and right)? Her ignorance goes to the point that she almost gets punched in the face?
Uhh, no...
I get that RD loves to act without thinking, but this takes things a step too far. Maybe not even the hitting part, but the implication that Celestia was clueless about RD's emotions, which ended up getting them both in trouble.
On the other hand, if Celestia were to volunteer as RD's "punching bag"... now that would have been powerful...
Neat fic overall, but it doesn't quite punch in the gut, let alone the groin. I think it hit me in the shoulder instead. I feel it, but not strong enough...
5629577
Right, you immediately start with "My own, personal, subjective sense of this topic is, admittedly warped" and then finish with "and therefore someone not sharing my own, personal, subjective view of this topic is wrong" as if it were an objective, definitive statement of fact.
I gave myself whiplash reading those two sentences next to each other like that. You'll receive a bill from my chiropractor shortly.
5632235
Actually discussed this with Aragon myself -- oh, no, I'm not here for him, obviously I'm just checkin' up on how my poem is doin' -- and he established fairly early on that the character voice was important, yes, but that writing this in a "lettery" way would make it harder to read, a sacrifice he wasn't willing to make.
There is the truth that a speech 'scaffolding' for the story might account for this: though, of course, a letter is how this story works, and a voice recording or even talking to herself would have required a different tone yet again.
The point is more that it's meant to be definitively Dash as a narrator first, a letter second. Which this does accomplish.
The key words you're looking for here? Unreliable narrator.
We have no idea what Celestia actually said. Rainbow assures us it was dumb platitudes, but there might have been a kernel of wisdom to it that Celestia, who has seen generations rise and fall at her hooves, delivered in earnest that Rainbow simply wasn't ready to hear yet. At this stage, she's still firmly in denial. Were it said to Twilight, or even Rarity, it's incredibly likely it would have resulted in a far, far more amenable reaction.
However, it was not said to Rarity or Twilight. It was said to Rainbow at a time she was completely unwilling to hear it. This does not reflect on Celestia herself, at all: It reflects on Rainbow's emotional state and how she confronts this situation. Celestia has a philisophical bent to her. Rainbow just wants to break stuff.
In fact, Celestia was probably trying to help Rainbow with the wrong problem entirely. Celestia was offering consolation to help Rainbow with her grief. Rainbow hadn't started to grieve yet: She was still processing the loss. To an outside observer, this can be notably difficult to distinguish and Dash herself certainly wasn't aiming for clarity.
An impasse. A misunderstanding. A breach in communication. Not a character being done poor justice.
From Aragon himself:
Your interpretation is completely valid, but not a fault of the author's. Emotional impact is, much like comedy, purely subjective.
What's far more important is the question: Was Rainbow Dash herself done justice?
I find it hard to argue that she wasn't.
thank you for writing this
I know you didn't place a Sad tag on purpose and left the final interpretation entirely up to the reader, but...
I still cried.
A lot.
I'm still crying a bit even as I write this comment.
Because Dashie is angry. She's angry at Princess Celestia, angry at the rest of the Mane Six, angry at her Mom, angry with her Dad...
And angry with herself.
Loss, especially of a parent or somepony very close to us, isn't easy. Ever.
Believe me, I know.
So...thank you, Aragorn.
5631629
Because I doubt we'll ever see real "death" portrayed in the series, it's all speculation, really. Sombra is literally the only character we've ever seen "killed" (if you count him as a character, and if you don't count sending Tirek to hell). There's no real point to saying what is or isn't appropriate as a character reaction in this instance simply because canon hasn't established it yet. The only thing we can say for certain is that Applejack seems to have come to terms with the loss of her parents (?), and we can guess that she was too young at the time to really know what it meant, as she seemed to get over their deaths relatively quickly. Kids seem to be able to recover from the blow quicker, however, because they don't have the same perception of mortality or death.
Rainbow Dash, we can assume, would deal with loss in a less mature, more "masculine" manner. She'd rather be angry than sad, deny reality instead of come to terms with it, and lash out at those trying to help her instead of seeking solace and comfort. To her, not being able to handle it alone would be a sign of weakness, and as we all know, Rainbow Dash is anything but weak. She is a mare that doesn't cry, and hates it when something makes her feel emotional. She wasn't prepared for this to happen, and when it did it shook her to the very core.
So, personally, I think you captured it well for her. It would be a similar situation if she got rejected from the Wonderbolts (which I thought this was, at first). She would be confused at first, wondering how it could possibly be that she, the best young flier in all of Equestria could possibly be rejected; it'd have to be some kind of mistake. Then she'd be angry and destructive, doing anything she could to just keep the torment of disappointment at bay. She'd snap at those wishing to give her comfort. And then would come the inconsolable grief, the bargaining, the acknowledgement that, yes, this did indeed happen. And she'd be devastated for a long time after because of just how hard it hit her.
Begs the question: How would Pinkie Pie deal with loss? Would she try to laugh it off for as long as she could? Or Rarity? Would she be the most mature, and simply come to accept fate all the sooner? Would she be the quickest to bounce back? Fluttershy, I imagine, could cope quite well. She has to deal with the loss of animal friends on a near-daily basis, simply by virtue of what she is. Is the most frail of the Six the most prepared for loss?
Well, anyway, wonderful story. I'm glad I read it, and I'm glad you wrote it the way you did. The "letter-writing" concept was a stroke of genius. The only thing that could have possibly made it more convincing would have been if you could have somehow included teardrops on the page towards the bottom of the fic. A few jpegs perhaps. Just something to make it more convincing that she's finally broken down and knows it's all real, it's all happening, and she wasn't ready for it.
Well done.
Happy writing!
-TUC
5631552
You are a Frick-Frackin genius.
If I had read this story a couple years ago. I would've ended up sad but it wouldn't have resonated as well.
Then someone close to you dies and shit is never the same.
It wasn't like I blind to death. Three people I knew died before my grandmother but it was something I felt sorrowful about, had a moment of silence and left it at that. But then my grandmother dies and everything in the world just fucking changed like that.
I know what Rainbow Dash went through here. I didn't lash out but I did feel ashamed because there was shit I could've said to her or things I could've done before she passed and I didn't get the chance to.
What a fantastic use of vernacular! Holy cow. Your use of half-finished thoughts builds up tension really well to the final resolution. I love how you do this--it makes Dash's anger so much more real. Plus it's totally in-character of her to have trouble articulating herself in this way. Even though the ending line wasn't really unexpected, you set it up in a way that still gave it a ton of punch power. Congratulations dude, this is a really well-crafted story.
Wow, that was way different from your usual stuff. It was really good too. What inspired you to make something so different ? Just a need to try something new, or is this influenced by reality? Either way, you freaking pwned it.
I honestly didn't expect the guy who came up with "Captain Steel DickPuncher" to make something so deep, but you more than pulled it off. See, this is why people don't believe you when you say you're stupid.
5632288
No, because that would be bending the story to your will. I mean, I might as well not believe anything she said, except there is no indication that Rainbow Dash is mentally unstable or whatever. She seems to remember what happened just fine, and the events seem pretty clear: "Celestia said something, RD tried to punch her for it..."
As far as personality goes, Rainbow Dash is no special snowflake. I honestly can't imagine how Princess Celestia, with all of her time among ponies, wouldn't have met hundreds just like her already and wouldn't know what to say -- and especially what not to say -- to avoid letting things escalate to such a level.
Also, refer back to my earlier comment: if Celestia offers to be a "punching bag," this works just fine.
This is the same guy that wrote "Born On A Rock Farm." A story that compelled me to write a side story to it. A story that, among other things, dealt with death and pain. In fact, there's a chapter in it that forms an interesting parallel with the scene mentioned above: "mortal meets immortal."
In this case, however, I feel as though a huge opportunity to hit really hard with "da feels" had been missed, and instead we get RD trying to punch (kick?) Celestia in the face. I don't think I can stress that enough...
I'm not saying the author should pander to my wishes, but compared to fics like BOARF, this story feels... well, disappointing...
Finally, the function of the tags is completely irrelevant. It doesn't change the fact that the story itself tackles a popular tearjerker subject and tries very hard to make me empathize with how horrible RD feels.
To be fair, I myself am guilty of a similar thing, so...
wait, is there a mirror and a table in this room, if there are those two items i know how she can get out.
5633002 You're misunderstanding the term unreliable narrator. It's not necessarily a mentally unstable narrator, but potentially also one with either a faulty memory of events, which she has given her admittance to not remembering tearing up the letter, or one who is biased to the nature of events, as every narrator is.
Rainbows version of events and Celestia's are bound to be significantly different, just by nature of it being two different individuals.
As for Rainbow not being a special little snowflake, the problem is that while Celestia might have experience dealing with ponies in these kinds of circumstances, each individual is different. What might work for one, might be the thing that sets off another, even if they're almost identical. Then again, she may have said everything right, and in all the right ways, and Rainbow just heard the same platitudes.