• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Mixed greens and poison ivy salad, rocket fuel vinaigrette | Hundred-proof spirits from the fountain of wisdom | Iced Ko-Fi, scalding glances.


The simple affair of Twilight's breakfast takes a turn for the crazy as she and Pinkie Pie find out just how hard it is to open a banana.

Art by AspergerGoodness.

Now featuring a Polish Translation by the fabulous aTOM for The Polish Writers Society!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 83 )

I'd like to thank Starfall and MaskedFerret for basically making this story possible. Infinite hugs to the both of you!

I think we can all agree that this fic really is the top banana.

Well, at least now she has an answer for Trollestia's age-old question.

:trollestia: : "Progress report."
:moustache: : "Operation B.A.N.A.N.A. is a success, your Highness."
:trollestia: : "Excellent!" *evil cackle*

so you like bananas? :trollestia:

Twilight hated them... but she couldn't stop. All it had taken was one, just one of the devil fruits to get her hooked. No matter how many books were ruined, no matter how much pain and suffering she went through every time, she had to have more. There, in the darkened alley, trembling and eyes twitching from near-withdrawal, she met with her new supplier for the first time. The pony's body was rather large, with a pale pink mane and body showing between the seems of the tattered dark coat and hat.

"Soooooo," said the mystery mare in a sweet, almost familiar voice, drawing open a portion of her coat to reveal the objects of Twilight's addiction. "I got one question for you. Do you like..mmmmmm... bananas?" :trollestia:


I can really imagine Twilight going mad over something like this. You got yourself a fav and a like.

Brace yourselves, mmmmm banana jokes are coming.

EDIT: Too late.

I'd like to make a banana-joke but all the good ones are taken. :pinkiegasp:


You know, if you start at the other end of the banana, opposite the stem, it's usually easier to peel.

Alternatively, you could use a knife to cut the skin off, rather than struggle with peeling it.
Not that I've ever eaten a banana, they tend to disagree with my kind of dragon. Nor do they grow anywhere near my mountains...
But I do have claws, very sharp, good for opening things like bananas - should I ever come across one.

Great story, very funny and gave me a cheerful start to my day!

"an inferno of mild annoyance" Delightfully said :moustache: this really made me lol.
"blasted me with projectile fruit" I know that feel, filly.
"I hate bananas" It couldn't have ended more perfectly!

Loved how Pinkie Pie became obsessed with bending the banana's physical traits to her will. Apparently, that pony becomes nuts when things doesn't do as she wants them to :pinkiecrazy: Very funny story. Simple, but enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

Poor Twi'...

I told her she shoulda just stick with apples...:ajsleepy:

This was the best fanfic I've ever read. I easily saw it episode-like! Whoo! All the hugs, Dashiefaces, and Mustaches in the world for you! :rainbowkiss: :moustache: :rainbowkiss: :moustache:

This is absolutely hilarious. I half-expected Pinkie to go full-on Pinkamena on the poor banana.

Bananas are hard enough to open with hands, especially when they are either unripe, ripe or overripe. I really can't imagine how a pony would open it. A combination of magic, teeth, a knife and some careful hoofwork could work, I guess.
Well, I suppose that's why that merchant was so eager to get rid of his stock.


"So you're a ***** that doesn't like bananas?" Oh man epilogue pls.

Why didn't she use her teeth, or magic I wonder. Oh yeah, being sleepy. That ussually messes it all up. Wonder what Pinkie was doing up so early in the morning.

Great fic, silly laughs, good pinkieness, rageparkle... yeah, this is good :D

607481 Congratulations, you're the first person to get the meaning of that little snippet. Have a muffin!


1. Acquire bananas
2. Pull really super-duper hard
3. ???
4. Profit :pinkiehappy:

This was featured?!?

Well... congratulations!

Happy for you, dude!

And I lol. Well done!:pinkiehappy:

You are an mmm-beyetch, that likes mmm-bananas.

Great story, made me lol and keep loling, I nearly died of asphyxiation due to being unable to breath for long enough :rainbowderp:
Anywho I loved it, like a lot, and I would love to see more of awesomeness like this :pinkiehappy:
Maybe a sequel with Rainbow Dash who can open them perfectly using her wings but doesn't like the taste :rainbowwild:
Keep writing and making me want to keep reading! :coolphoto:


Bananas! The secret to getting featured!


I like the part where pinkie's like :pinkiehappy: and twilight's like :twilightoops: and then pinkie is still like :pinkiehappy: and now twilight's all like :facehoof: and when twilight's all like :twilightangry2: pinkie finally gets it and she's like :pinkiegasp: and then she's STILL like :pinkiehappy: 'cause it made me all like:rainbowlaugh: and :facehoof: at the same time.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! (to the tune of the first 4 notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony)

I share this because I heard the chapter title to that tune. I'm not sure if that was your intent, but that's what happened.

Also, I feel like ponies could possibly get bananas open fairly easily. Squeeze the bottom end (the end opposite the stem). This splits open the bud (or whatever you call that brown bit), providing an opening which a pony could probably expand with the edge of a hoof. Problem solved.

Handy tip: Instead of wrestling with the stem to get a Banana open, just simply pinch the bottom of it to open it. There's a reason why monkeys do it this way.

Iv'e been around here for a while and i have been to embarrassed to ask. How do you "track" a story, without favoriting? Can you?
Great story. It's not made of ponies is it? The muffin:twilightsheepish: I mean.

608937 I got it... manemedia.org/forums/images/smilies/pinkie_pwease__3_by_sirspikensons-d4qlk5q.png

This story was hilarious, outrageous, and silly, three of my favorite things. So kudos, author. Spike would have an even easier time than the average human, seeing as he can just slice the skin with his claws.

...I love bananas. :ajsmug:

Funny, with some great one-liners, but I find myself wondering where Spike got the idea that the banana needed to be peeled in the first place. Banana peels are totally edible, and neither a pony nor a dragon should have difficulty biting through it. Also, weren't there bananas on Angel's special salad from the Iron Will episode?

Fun fact: Approximately 70% of Equestria's R&D budget goes towards creating a fruit salad.


"Inferno of mild annoyance" is a great turn of phrase. :rainbowlaugh:

Wow. I never considered what kind of fruits ponies couldn't eat. lol.

You used to be able to, but now the favourite and track systems are basically one and the same.

609902 Starfall is right, with the update from ~2 months ago the "tracking" and "favorite" buttons basically fused together.

I usually still track/fav stories when they're one shots, as a compliment to the author and for easy reference may I ever want to check it out again.


I wish you could attach a sound clip to .gif files. Would make the message even better.

Very amusing fic, good for a quick read. :twilightsmile:

No, it's a banana muffin.

This is a true fact.

609721 Yet I still can't seem to get featured on this site...

609902 Yes. It's made of ponies.

Bananas? Delicious? AHHHAHAHAHAHA!:rainbowlaugh:

Sorry, but I don't understand how anyone else could like them. With me, they taste like cold liquid plastic (That's how I'd describe it) and activate my gag reflex. :ajbemused:

611868 I eat at least two every day. So... yeah.

611871 Everyones got different tastes :applejackunsure:

But mines are better :trollestia:

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