• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2021

Solar Solstice


E
Source

They've known each other for a long time, now, so Rainbow Dash thinks its time to share with her friends something cherished and precious: a chance to meet her beloved father. However, what they will learn on that visit will give them much to think about over the years to come.

Written especially for Memorial Day.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 172 )

May we never forget.

Concordia Invicta

I'll admit it: The bit where Rarity and Pinkie were recognizing their families' connection to Blitz made me teary-eyed a bit.

Well done.

:pinkiesad2:

:fluttershysad::heart: Excellent. Happy Memorial Day and God bless.

Poignant and very well-written. Well done.

A person who doesn't choke up reading this probably doesn't have a heart. Well done. Thanks for reminding us that today's not about shopping.

Femto #12 · May 27th, 2014 · · 89 ·

Almost broke my jaw yawning.

*Gives a Full WolfBow as I also lower my muzzle until it touches the ground*

Well Written, and Well Done.

Thank you for writing this. This is going to be one of my favourite works written here on Fimfiction, for the sheer meaning it has. :pinkiesad2: It's... I can't even put into words what this means to me; all I can say is that it struck a chord with me. A bittersweet chord, one that says "This means something amazing, something important, something...real". I'm actually tearing up as I write this. This was a beautiful piece. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :pinkiesad2:

Too many feels, well done. :twilightsmile:

I kept hoping for a little happy ending, but it's still good. It's just so sad.:raritycry::raritydespair:

iLife that this story is dedicated to veterans but now I feel like I should only be respectful while I comment on this story, however
4452580
You. I don't like you. Have a little respect.

Dang it, who put the bowl of onions on my desk? This brings back memories of my grandfather now :fluttercry:

Light humor mixed with memories aside, there is no greater honor than to sacrifice one's own life for the many, and that will always deserve a salute and a nod in my book. To all military personnel out there, past or present: Thank you for your service, and thank you for defending what we all hold dear. It may only be the Marine Corps' motto, but it applies to all servicemen and servicewomen: Semper Fidelis-- "always loyal". Happy Memorial Day everyone.

I like this.

A very nice tribute. Got me right in the (personal) feels. Thank you.

:fluttercry:
I'm glad to know that our sacrifices will never be forgotten

That was outstanding, God bless you.

For those who sacrifice their limbs and hearts to the great cause, we salute you. For those who take up the great fight, to endure against the great storm of Fate, we salute you. To those who remain in our hearts, as hero's as old of time, we remember you. We honor you for all you have done, in the name of honor, duty, and the will to carry on. Thus we honor you brave souls, all who fight, in the name of what is right.

Sorry if I got a bit poetic there, felt like it should be brought in after reading this.

Manly tears are shedding everywhere by reading stories like this.

I didn't cry,but the moment you described RD's Dad's state....my insides just froze cold...and NOW the tears are trying to start.

*brings out a golden sword with an emerald in the hilt and a diamond on the pommel sticks it into the ground and lays a dented golden helm upon it then steps back and bows* to those who sacrificed everything for our cause we salute you brave warriors for your duty and service to our great country for you are the ones who have carried us to were we are now *stands up and salutes* gone but never forgoten:moustache:

It took me about two seconds to figure out what was going on.

And then I was slightly surprised when it was a hospice instead of a grave, though it was really the same thing ultimately.

Some of the exposition in this felt very awkward. Really, the whole thing in general felt very forced and awkward for any number of reasons, from lack of suitability to the setting, to contrived circumstances, to the general non-violence of Equestria, to the prose...

Why is Rainbow Dash lying about it?

How does this work in Equestria, whose military seems to consist of the Royal Guard, who are not very good at their jobs?

How does this really fit into the world?

Indeed, how does this fit the characters? Rainbow Dash is quite happy-go-lucky, and this sort of thing doesn't really strike me as something which is at all within her character. Indeed, they're all quite happy people, and trying to make up weekly visits sounds very awkward and forced. If it was a grave fic, once a year, that's pretty easy to buy. But once a week, someone visiting someone who is horribly crippled in the hospital? I don't think any of the characters show any indications of that sort of thing at all.

You're sticking words into their mouths and trying to make a story which is profound, but it comes off as very shallow instead - the same sort of nonsense we always hear every Memorial Day, the false platitudes given soldiers.

This is a straight-up glurge-fic, and wasn't trying to be especially subtle about it.

Some specific things:

"Haven't really talked about him much, no," said Rainbow Dash, a lilt of hesitation in her voice. "But yeah, he's a totally awesome dude! One time, when he was in boot camp, he totally got the wing commander's attention because of how great his uniform and drill looked. He still has the plaque from that, too!"

That's... just really awkward. And not something that is all that awesome honestly. I understand where you're trying to go with it, trying to get her to con her friends into going with her, but... it just doesn't work.

Rarity answered, imagining a rainbow-maned stallion with much in smooth graces and fine manners.

This is quite awkwardly inserted.

"We're gonna visit my Dad!" Rainbow Dash interjected for the second time. "He's a really funny guy, Pinkie. One time, when he was a junior flyer in the Air Cavalry, he put a whoopie cushion in his lieutenant's wing-guards so it made funny noises whenever he spread his wings. It was totally hilarious!"

Yeah... bit obvious here.

"Yeah, what she said," Rainbow added, a little impressed. "He's...not really around as often as I'd like, but we try to hang out at least once a week."

Even more obvious here. And also it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, as I noted above.

Look, I know why you wrote this - the same reason we hear the same things every Memorial Day. But it is just as empty as everything else I constantly hear and see on TV on Memorial Day; almost all of it is exactly this sort of thing. And it always rings very hollow, precisely because it is so formulaic.

If you're going to do something like this, make it something which actually shows some real individuality and initiative. This story has been told innumerable times, with small variations; I didn't need to hear it again from people masquerading as ponies. Every time I hear this story, I just think:

"Man, these people are spending a whole lot of time showing their approbation for soldiers, and yet simultaneously showing that they don't really care at all, because they aren't actually spending the time to think about it, but just repeating what others have said."

Indeed, every time I hear about someone thanking someone for their "service to the country", I just kind of scoff because it is the most generic possible thing you can say to someone. It shows that you don't care at all; they say that to EVERYONE, from soldiers to senators, and will even thank people for their years of service if they're being involuntarily discharged or resigning under pressure or whatever else. It is just incredibly generic and non-specific.

It is like if someone responds to you with "ty", not even bothering to write out "thank you", let alone a specific thank you note which actually thanked the person for what they did.

It was sad but it was at the very least good for them to see the pony that they owe their lives to; either through his or his daughters actions.

What can I say, what hasn't already been said? This is one of the best stories I've read on this site. A very sad take on an otherwise very upbeat and happy character. I don't have anything deep or emotional to say, just to congratulate you on a very well written and very sad story.

I would love to say more, but I don't want to stain this page with my criticisms with a full fledged review. You have earned my favorite

Many of my family members have serverd in the army and brings tears to my eyes knowing things like this happens to the men and women of our armed forces every day and we take are lives for granite and you know what they get a good job sorry you saw a friend die now get back out there and fight more the government knows best and there just bunch of idiots who don't know the horrors of war and think you send a more advanced army and you just win but that's just the world we live in and those who are above us are better and know best well screw this we live in I just hate it

Commander Spectrum Blitz...for all the things you have done for your country, its people and your dedication to protect them... I and all the Bronies...salute you!
m.artician.com/pu/4GILXOOZANFBGJ5WDVBT2WWCH4WQBZMW.preview.jpeg

"A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers and woods, it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle."
- George William Curtis

Wow, that hit me hard in the feels. I really do thank your for reminding me, and all of us, just what this day is about. I give a salute to all those great men serving are nation.

I kind of figured the ending was going to be sad from the beginning, but I didn't think it would end like that, it really did bring tears to my eye. The pictures connecting Rainbow's father to Rarity and Pinkie were also very sad, but amazing. I also like how you showed Fluttershy trying to be brave to help her friend. It's always nice to see fics show the friendship they have, and that part at the very end was so sweet, and sad at the same time.

Edit: To the one person who has made it his/her mission to down vote every comment, Really!?! What reason could you possibly have to do something like that? It's really immature, and kind of sad. Have some respect...

I started crying the moment that the crew started noticing the articles in Blitz's room.

I've never truly cried while reading a fic before. :pinkiesad2:

Femto #35 · May 27th, 2014 · · 18 ·

4452904 You wrote a story about robots, what other reaction did you want?

So it's probably a 'no' since it was always 'Rainbows dad', but is Fluttershy related to them or is because their sibling-friends? :pinkiesad2:

Wow, I am so the wrong person for reading this story. I kind of knew where it was going, and I didn't really get much of a reaction to it, but I could tell that you put a lot of emotion and effort into producing it. So all I have to say is sorry for not connecting with it. Somehow I feel its more my failure to fail to resonate with the story, than it is yours.

From a technical standpoint, this story is has a ways to go. You need a couple of good editors to help clean this up.

Quite honestly, I think many people—myself included—enjoyed it was because we almost . . . filled in the couple of "blanks" in the story that you left out? I guess? Maybe?

Hmmm.

This isn't quite sounding how I want it to sound.

Look, I liked the story, and I have the utmost respect for all branches of the military, but the quality of this story is lacking somewhat.

4450465
4453812
Thank you for your service. Words sound hollow across the digital field, but know that I am sincere.

4455042
Just saying
You wouldn't interrupt someone in the middle of a memorials day speech would you?

Sometimes, only the body comes back from war. One way or the other, the mind never escapes from what it's seen and the places its been to.

a506 #42 · May 27th, 2014 · · 2 ·

Some people in the comments are so rude, I can't believe it. This story is obviously written as a tribute to soldiers, and you're just bashing this guy's grammar and structure? Enjoy the story for what is, a great tribute to veterans everywhere.

Thought I should mention that RDs dad's official name is Rainbow Blaze. But whatever, the story's great! And really sad too... :raritycry:

While the need for armed forces is not something I like, I hold naught but respect for those who serve in them, potentially putting their very lives on the line so that others need not do the same. I do not care for the military, but I do salute its soldiers, as well as those who lost themselves in war, be it through its horrors or through their own deaths. May those sacrifices never be truly forgotten.

4454103 You're right, I did stick to a very obvious formula, and maybe that's a mark against my creativity. Thing is, I'm not really as worried about being "original" as I am about writing well and making the characters believable.

I appreciate your criticisms about my decisions regarding story structure. However, I feel that you may have crossed the line when you suggested that I was peddling "platitudes". I don't know any veterans personally, and I don't know enough about the particular difficulties that soldiers have when they return from theatre, so I decided that I shouldn't write about something I didn't feel competent writing about.

Actually...I do know some things. I know that an Iraq war veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes. I know that many veterans have extreme difficulties adjusting to life after the military because they have no idea how to navigate the civilian world, because some of them joined the military precisely to find the structure that was lacking in their family lives. I know that there are significant controversies regarding VA and the veterans hospitals and how they fail to meet the needs of veterans. I know that even decades after the fact many surviving WW2 veterans still refuse to talk about their experiences...and I know this especially because we've had vets over during Remembrance Day (which is what we have in Canada for Veteran's Day).

I could have written a story about any of those experiences, but I decided not to because I figured it was too much for me at the time. I wanted to focus on the personal experiences of those in the "home front", as it were, because that's where most of us are coming from. I would rather produce a competently written, but conventional, story than something bold, unique, but flawed. Maybe next year I will have enough writing experience (and more research on veterans) to do something to your satisfaction.

To conclude: I am sorry that my story only managed to annoy you, but I appreciate that you tried to lay out your criticisms properly. The thing is, though, that before you go around telling us that we don't really care, please understand that many of us, in fact, do, but that this is the best we - the best I - can do given the limitations of personal experience.

Hope you had a good Memorial Day.

This story hit the feels. :fluttercry:

wow, just wow. I know what it's like to see someone you care about go and you hope that they come back. My dad is retired from the military and all he did was keep saying he was sorry for not being there for my sister and me. We understand the sacrifice and we are proud and thankful of him. Thanks for this wonderful story dedicated to the men and women serving our country. :eeyup: :ajsleepy:

4455929

As a soldier I wanted to personally thank you for this story. I'm not really the emotional type but this definitely got to me. You sir have my utmost respect as a writer and a person. Have a fav, and cheers mate. :twilightsmile:

The five people that disliked this have no soul.

Login or register to comment