Look Before You Sleep
“What are ya doin’ up there?” shouted Applejack.
“I’m climbing this tree, what does it look like?”
“That ain’t really helpin’!”
“I thought you said we were supposed to get the broken limbs down?”
“Ah can get ‘em with my rope. You get down from there before you get struck by lightning!”
I grumbled and slid out of the tree. I wasn’t worried, but Appjack could be convincing when she wanted to be.
“How does a pony even get in a tree?” Applejack muttered.
Rarity came up, and began an argument about something or other. I think she was concerned that we were making the trees ugly. Applejack told her off. “The weather ponies accidentally skipped a scheduled sprinkle last week, so we need a double doozy of a downpour to make up for it.”
I chuckled at her alliteration. Just then, the raindrops began to fall. I decided to go back to the library.
On my way out of the park, I spotted a single dead branch high up on one of the trees. Applejack was still busy with Rarity, so I figured it shouldn’t be a problem to just climb up and get it.
It was quick work to shinny up the three. I couldn’t believe the ponies didn’t know how to climb. Perhaps I should open a rock climbing tower. I grabbed the limb and broke it off. There was a sudden prickle in the air, and I felt my mane stand on end.
I awoke beneath a pile of blankets on the couch in the library. Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were looking at me. I was soaking wet, and so were Applejack and Rarity.
I started to get up, but Twilight’s hoof held me down. “Don’t try to move, you’re hurt.”
I frowned. Everything felt all right. “What happened?”
“You got struck by lightning and then fell out of a tree.” Twilight shook her head. “What were you even doing in a tree?”
“I was doing my job. Where were you?”
“This isn’t about me. You need to rest.”
“I feel fine.” I started to get up again. This time, Applejack added her weight to keep me down.
“Listen sugarcube, ah’ve never seen anything like that before. You should be dead.”
“If I die in a dream, do I wake up?”
Twilight facehoofed. “Ugh, this is getting nowhere. Look Valiant, if you don’t calm down, we might have to sedate you.”
I sighed. “Fine. But I don’t feel that there’s anything wrong with me.”
“Lightning is a funny thing. Symptoms could show up at a later time.”
“So let them. I’m good to go now. Put me in, coach.”
“The work’s all done,” said Applejack. “No thanks to Rarity.”
“I’m standing right here,” she said grumpily.
“So, is being inside a tree the best place to wait out a lightning storm?” I asked.
“I’ve got a magical lighting rod,” said Twilight.
“We are most grateful for your invitation,” said Rarity.
“Thank ya kindly for yer hospitality,” added Applejack.
“Well, you're welcome to stay if need be. Spike is away in Canterlot on royal business. I'm home all alone tonight. I know! You two should totally sleep over! We'll have a slumber party! I've always wanted one of those.”
Twilight pulled out a book titled Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask
“I’ll just be leaving,” I said. A glare from Twilight made me stop.
The three of them began doing girly things. I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling and trying to ignore the giggling.
I honestly didn’t feel bad at all. Well of course I wouldn’t, it was a dream. Trapping me in a sleepover was a hell of a thing for my mind to do, though.
“This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever!” said Twilight. “Yay!”
“Yay,” replied Applejack and Rarity, rather flatly. I had noticed that they had been unpleasant to each other all day. Perhaps a little more trouble would cause Twilight to cancel the party. I could only hope.
The book indicated that they should tell ghost stories. Twilight began. “I've got one! This story is called The Legend of the Headless Horse. It was a dark and stormy night, just like this one. And three ponies were having a slumber party, just like this one...”
What am I, a lump on the couch? I swear, the instant they go to sleep, I’m sneaking out.
After the ghost stories, it was time for s’mores. I didn’t get one.
After that, they played truth or dare. None took my dare to put a sock in it. Applejack and Rarity seemed to playing to win.
Twilight seemed sad that she wasn’t included in their game. She suggested that they move on to pillow fighting. Applejack was happy to oblige, and promptly nailed Rarity, who retaliated in kind.
I watched them cavort around the room. They were certainly naked enough, but not human enough for my tastes. After getting hit hard several times, Twilight suggested that they get some sleep.
At last. I waited until the lights were off and they were all upstairs before I started to move. Unfortunately, I hadn’t counted on my legs being asleep from the long time spent under the pile of blankets. Fortunately, a fight broke out just as I hit the floor.
“Girls, it says right here that the number one thing you're supposed to do at a slumber party is have fun, and thanks to you two I can't check that off!”
“I've been tryin' my darndest to get along.”
“No, it is I who've been trying my best.”
“I hope you're happy, both of you. You've ruined my very first slumber party. The makeover, the s'mores, Truth or Dare, the pillow fight... I mean, is there anything else that could possibly go wrong?”
Just then, lightning smoked a tree right next door. A large piece of it came crashing in through the window.
I got my hooves under me and trotted upstairs. Applejack was arguing with Rarity, and Twilight was searching franticly in the slumber party book for information on how to deal with tree removal.
“Rarity, for pony's sake, stop sweatin' the small stuff and help me get rid of this thing!”
“I’m cleaning up this mess some pony made. Who was that again? Oh, right, that's you.”
They continued to argue. I quietly grabbed the tree and dragged it over the edge of the balcony and down onto the floor. I didn’t think it would go back out the window, so I headed for the door.
I got it outside, and paused to think about where to take it. Deciding to just leave it lay, I turned to go back inside. There was a sudden prickle in the air, and I felt my mane stand on end.
I woke up facedown in the mud. The rain had stopped and the sun was rising. The front door opened, and the three ponies came out, talking and laughing. They apparently had resolved their differences.
“See? We could have been having fun like this all along.”
“If only some pony hadn't been so persnickety.”
“Well, maybe she wouldn't have been if some pony else hadn't been so sloppy.”
“Ah’m sorry for being such a pain in the patootie.”
“Oh, no, I'm sure I was much worse.”
They giggled.
I’m sure their conversation was about a normal slumber party, but if I wanted to I could add some innuendo to it. Such a thing was easier to imagine since I had been out cold next to a broken tree at the time.
Twilight saw them off and turned to me. “What are you doing out here?”
“Got struck by lightning again while I was taking the tree out.”
She looked me up and down. “I’m not sure if you’re lying or just the luckiest pony I’ve ever met. Because it’s you, I could believe either one.”
“Kind of rude, don’t you think? Calling me a liar to my face.”
“Do you mind?”
“Not really.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what it is about you. You’re an enigma, Valiant. As hard as I try, I can’t figure you out, and I can’t stop trying. I don’t know why your mind is so interesting.”
I shrugged. “Just my electric personality.”
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“Just my electric personality.”
Oh Celestia! You made me CHUCKLE
Not that its not normal or anything.
292925
I'm going to try to set up one punchline in every episode. I figure 1,000 words per lol is a fair trade.
293019
To be honest,
since lol is like 101, you should give us one lol / 100 words, thus finishing the 100 words with another 1, thus creating 101 aka lol.
Anteh sense, how much I love it, and I know you do too.
But now, I shall say good night and...
I need a way to force myself to go sleep. I've been updating the front page for 5 minutes hoping for updates, and every time I say "I will update just ONCE more" to myself.
SLEEP ME, SLEEP.
Now, back to real life, I'm going to shut up and leave you alone.
he survived a lightning strike to the body twice?!
good job
looks like valiant...
*puts on glasses*
has quite the rod.
YEEEAAAAHHHHHH
get it? lightning rod? he got struck by lightning twice?
anybody?
nobody?
okay...
“Just my electric personality.”
Haha... very punny
294773
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3643-WUT.png
"just my electric personality"
farm3.staticflickr.com/2662/3925156670_a5dc6dba0b.jpg
293019 farm5.staticflickr.com/4074/4814014643_b2e1da67c5.jpg
592790 I don't know what it is about that pic, but when I scrolled down to see it I nearly spat out my drink because I was laughing so hard.
Puns for the record book.
"Just my electric personality."
I know this chapter is old, but I can't ignore a problem I've seen.
Every character is OOC when it comes to him. It's like, what's the point of this story? Nothing is changing even though he's there, and all the characters completely ignore him, making them all jerks (seriously, they didn't notice he left, or that they didn't even ask him if he wanted something, or ask if he knew ghost stories, or anything?).
I mean, I guess it's funny, but all the jokes he makes are kind of ruined by the fact that no one ever reacts to him! Oh well, hopefully it gets better further on.
1652210 It's like the universe is making them ignore him, to keep things canon.
It was quick work to shimmy up the three.
“I’m not sure if you’re lying or just the unluckiest pony I've ever met. Because it’s you, I could believe either one.”
..Unless being struck by lightning twice in one day counts as being lucky...
But Valiant is there...
2134499
Think the point is getting struck by lightning is unlucky but surviving it isn't
I shrugged. “Just my electric personality.”
*Shout at the horizon*
This one made it very clear that Valiant is just the audience taking a close-up look. He doesn't make any actual changes. Only serves to add a snarky comment, no actual interaction with the ponies. After all, a lightning victim gets ingored for a slumber party, and he doesn't even get involved or counted...
It's a good thing he occasionally works on power armor, or he'd be a complete non-entity. Sooner or later, he WILL be involved with an actual adventure and he WILL make this story something other than a plain re-telling of the episodes. Because right now, he does absolutely nothing. Except look stupid with all this dream nonsense.
2973578 Just another few chapters, I promise.
The fact that none of them even paid the slightest bit of attention when he went missing should've set off some alarm bells.
Haha!! Valiant is now one of my favorite FiMFiction characters, I'm only at chapter 9!
This guy is hilarious!
Lightning, but speaking of that rod... Shouldn't it have worked the first time? Or at least when he decided to walk out the door.
3704250 The lightning rod only protects the tree.
Oh no it's fine I didn't get one. On a completely unrelated note, which hoof is your least favorite?
There's a pony for that!
(You spelled Applejack wrong)
Did he just?
“Just my electric personality.”
I DIED!!!!! ROTFLMAO WORTHY!!!!!!!!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg
The puns are great!
I shrugged. “Just my electric personality.”
quickmeme.com/img/47/47d64a4ed4f312f7831abe6df7bb107d3c05d6887be98e0ad61672e3c6e772fd.jpg
I think the Mane 6 are terrible friends in this fic. At least they are to Valiant. Poor Valy! He needs a hug!
*Lenny intensifies.*
(pained sigh)
7508957 what a shocking pun.
That was shockingly bad....
That's just plain rude.
*Deadpan expression* Really.
9780854
Dang, the lightning didn't fry the part of his brain in charge of puns. Third time's the charm.
10996506
Shocker: third strike doesn't hurt him either.
Meh, S'mores are overrated. Just eat the chocolate.
I, too, sometimes feel the same way about cars.
11204581
I'm fine just eating the marshmallow, we'd get along great!