Secret of My Excess
I certainly hadn’t expected to be back in Ponyville so soon. That was all right. I had unfinished business.
I got off the couch and stepped on something, twisting my ankle and falling to the floor.
“What’s wrong with you?” asked Twilight. She was eating breakfast.
I mumbled something under my breath and got up. I had tripped on the ugly piece of Basalt. Figures that it would be here.
“Nothing’s wrong at all,” I said. “I went home last night.”
“What do you mean? You visited Earth?” her voice was skeptical.
“When I went to sleep here, I woke up in my own bed. My roommate yelled at me for being a drunk and then I went back to sleep. Here I am again.”
“Some dream.”
“You’re right. I’m dreaming.”
“I think you’re dreaming the so-called ‘real world’.”
“Then how do you explain this?” I showed her the rock.
“It’s a rock.”
“Yes, but it was there in the real world. There was a crypic message on the note that came with it. ‘Enjoy the multiverse, sucker!’ It must have given me this strange dream.”
“Anyway,” I said, changing the subject. “I’m going to go jump off a cliff now. The falling sensation in a dream isn’t unusual.”
“Are you serious? No Valiant, I can’t let you do that.”
“You want to take away my free will? You and I are going to have a serious talk about unalienable rights when I get back, missy.” I headed for the door. Twilight beaned me with the rock.
“Ouch!” I rubbed the back of my head. “What did you do that for?”
“It hurt, didn’t it?”
I nodded.
“How are you feeling pain if this is a dream?”
“I’ve given up trying to explain.”
“But you’ve refused to accept that maybe this isn’t a dream?”
“Right.”
“You’ve given no thought to other alternatives?”
“No.” Well, maybe a little bit.
“And for some reason you think you’re dreaming because of this ordinary-looking rock?”
“Hey now, what did he ever do to you? You don’t have to hurt his feelings by calling him ordinary.”
She stared at me. I shrugged. “Sorry, just a joke. I guess there’s only room for one pet rock in town.”
“At least Tom is useful. The other day, I saw him holding down some balloons for Pinkie’s party.”
“Whatever. I’m going to go be awesome now, or something.”
I left the library tree. Despite my boast, I was not actually capable of being awesome on command. Luckily, a situation soon presented itself.
I ran into Lyra and Bon-Bon. A lot of ponies around town suspected them of being lovers, but I knew the truth.
Lyra pretended to have terrible scoliosis, which is why she could often be seen slumping on a park bench. She would tell anyone who asked that it was the only way she could get comfortable with her poor, crooked spine. The fraudulent medical insurance money was laundered through Bon-Bon’s candy shop. They also did contract killings.
Remembering that I had asked them for a favor, I said, “You got the stuff?”
“You got the bits?” Bon-Bon shot back.
“Right here.” I handed over a small pouch. Lyra gave me a crate, which she had been lugging around with her for some reason. Luckily I had showed up to take it off her hooves.
“I knew I was lugging that crate around for some reason,” she said. “Luckily you showed up to take it off my hooves.”
“My thoughts exactly. Anyway, I’ll see you later, ladies.”
I awkwardly carried the box back to the library. Twilight was studying, so I could basically do anything short of dropping a drum set down the stairs and it wouldn’t faze her.
The box contained a small metal tank and some tubing. I could have acquired these things without resorting to Lyra and Bon-Bon, but I wanted it kept secret. I might as well have the only one in town.
I slowly assembled the pieces. Spike walked in. “Hey Valiant. What are you doing?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“It’s not for my birthday is it?”
“When’s your birthday?”
“Next week.”
“Maybe. Just maybe.”
Later that day I went over to Sweet Apple Acres to get some fresh produce. Big Macintosh helped me out. After that, I stopped by Sugarcube Corner to get some baking supplies from Pinkie. I got the device set up outside the library and built a fire.
The next couple of days in Ponyville went slowly. I figured I had a week or two before I would wake up again, so I just sort of chilled out.
Twilight had been working hard studying something for several days, and finally came to me about it.
“Why are you tormenting me with this rock!?” she demanded.
“Sorry, what?”
“It’s an ordinary, ugly lump of Basalt like you said. Except something’s wrong with it.”
“You say that like it’s my fault.”
“I can’t figure out why it’s different, but something irks me about it.”
“It’s probably just a macguffin.”
“A what?”
“Don’t you know your fiction plot devices? A macguffin is a thing that by itself isn’t important, but causes the plot to move forward.”
Twilight considered that. “Go on.”
“We could probably just throw the rock away right now. As long as we’re talking about what it could mean, we don’t need it anymore.”
Twilight glanced at the stone where it lay on the table. “All right. What does it mean?”
“No clue.”
“That’s not helpful at all!”
“Just because I know what it is doesn’t mean I know what to do about it. Anyway, do you know why I saw Spike wearing a pimp hat earlier?”
“Somepony must have given it to him. It’s his birthday.”
“Oh, is he getting the traditional Pinkie party?”
“That’s already happened.”
“I’ll have to find him later, then.” I went outside, with Twilight following curiously. The parts that Lyra and Bon-Bon had gotten me had created something that no resident of Equestria had ever seen before.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” she said. “What’s that?”
“It’s called a still.”
“It’s still what?”
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just say parties around here are going to be at least 40% cooler from now on.”
The grain Big Mac had given me, combined with yeast I had gotten from Pinkie had transformed into ethanol. I didn’t know how pure it was, but we could worry about that later.
I went inside to get a couple of glasses. I figured there was no time like the present to sample the product.
Twilight watched nervously as I took a sip. It was like fire, and didn’t have much flavor. I gagged. It was higher proof than I had expected.
Spike walked up just then, carrying a load of swag.
“Where did you get all that stuff?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“Um, they were gifts.”
“Hey birthday boy. I’ve got something for you.” I stopped. “Wait, how old are you?”
“Dragon years or pony years?”
“Or human years,” I mused. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. This isn’t illegal here.” I filled a glass and handed it to him.
“What is it?”
“Moonshine.”
“I didn’t know this stuff came in liquid form.” He gulped it like it was water and held out the glass. “Can I have more?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” We still didn’t know how potent the stuff was.
“Please?”
Twilight said, “Spike, it could be dangerous. Just wait until we figure it out, okay?”
“All right.” He went inside.
“Spike’s been kind of…grabby lately. I don’t know why he’s being so greedy.”
I shrugged. “Maybe he’s going through a phase.”
Later that day, Twilight showed me something that she’d been working on. The ugly rock was now encased in a small electronic device with blinking lights.
“It’s a relativity condenser,” she said.
“That’s weird. You never struck me as a Beatles fan.”
“No, I don’t like insects, especially not after the parasprite incident.”
“So what does it do?”
“I’ve added some extra functionality and modified the specifications a little. Hopefully, it will monitor the rock and tell us more about it.”
We watched for a few seconds.
“It’s not doing anything,” I said. “It’s a rock.”
She threw up her hooves. “Look, I know there’s something strange about it, I just can’t figure out what! I’m doing everything I can to find the answer.”
Suddenly, the damaged robot that looked like Twilight burst out of the closet where I had been keeping it. It had mostly been skinned at this point, and the resemblance was not great. I didn’t know how it had become active, but we suddenly had a serious problem.
“Run!”
Twilight and I slammed open the door of the library. Spike was passed out next to the still. That’s where greed gets you, little guy, I thought.
We didn’t go very far before realizing that the robot wasn’t chasing. It had taken a different course and gone into the Everfree Forest.
“What,” Twilight said between gasps for breath, “was that?”
“I’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
Back at the library, Twilight was taking notes. “So you just found this thing in the forest? Do you know why it was pony shaped?”
“Nope. No idea on the purple scraps of stuff hanging off the frame, either. When the whole Discord thing happened, I just kind of forgot about it. Until now, anyway.” I was getting good at this lying thing.
“A robot from the future,” Twilight mused. “I think I’m going to have to write a letter to the princess about this.”
“All right with me. I’m going to go make sure Spike is okay.” I went out. Spike was still breathing, so I figured he was fine. I sat down next to his comatose body to think.
Something was clearly amiss here. That wasn’t the closet that I had hid the robot in. Furthermore, how had it activated? The processor had been broken.
Now that I thought about it, I had gotten a brief glimpse at the back of the robot’s head and it had looked undamaged. Not like it had been repaired, like it had never been smashed in the first place.
While I was mulling it over, Applejack came walking up. “Hello there, Valiant. Nice day, isn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
“Well, I’m off to the market. I hope you have a good day.”
“You too.” She walked away.
I turned back to the robot problem. Why were things different? Suddenly I realized that Applejack's accent was missing. This couldn't be the same Equestria I remembered.
“Oh my God, I’m in a parallel universe!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.038 seconds
Total duration
872 users online
433,927 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNN!
wait... wat?
PLOT TWIST!
AND THEN EVERYTHING WAS 60% MORE COMPLICATED AND 20% MORE CONFUSING
Wait... What? A parallel universe?
4.bp.blogspot.com/-MmpeFD8_ydY/ThDKpYcsf5I/AAAAAAAAH80/EKfBxmh6xBs/s1600/What+Is+This+I+Don't+Even+2.jpg
This is the second most confusing thing I ever read.
364608
Really? I've got to read this other story. What's it called?
364659 It's a book series called "The Circle". I don't remember the authors name unfortunately, but there was 4 books in it, each named after a colour: Black, White, Red and Green. I am pretty sure that isn't the order they're in though.
Well shit, this is gonna be interesting.
what a twist!
haha, anyways,
364659
Ted Dekker is a genius. A complete copy.
365778
(facepalm) Silly me. I just now realized that I've read a couple of his books before.
365778>>366500 The circle trilogy is a good read, but the ending made me want to destroy something as it's one of the oldest and most contrived plot holders in christian fiction. I mean seriously, amazing series, and you stick me with that crap ending?!
brain...shutting...down...1110010010101010001010010101000101010101000101010101001011001110001010101001010101010
364692
I know this comment is old, but it would be awsome if they were written to be read in any order.
550571 That would have been awesome, but so difficult to have done right.
427993 Good sir, you are makeing no sense. Your statement translates out to äª)QURÎ*�
419292
Ted Dekker is about as sane as totallynotabrony. Every time I finished a book in the Circle, I would think, "his man needs to be locked in an insane asylum."
I mean srsly:
Black: OK, odd.
White: Strange, but I've read stranger.
Red: This is freaking weird.
Green: dafuq did I just read??
I guess you could say it just got real
The only way this could get more confusing is if you met youself and referred to each other as "I" or "me" just to mess with people
419292 sounds like mass effect 3
Can it be that valiant built that roboter and sent it back into the past?
"brain.exe has stopped working."
Reboot? Y / N
...
N
loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/the-beetles-beatles-t-shirt-alex-solis-threadless-art.gif
my night just got better
Tis fucked...
parallel universes? can he be something else in them? like a diamond dog, pegasus or unicorn?
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
The crack is strong with this one.
8195561 By design.