A Dream

by totallynotabrony

Winter Wrap-Up

“What the…snow?”

“That’s right,” said Twilight. “It's Winter Wrap Up day!”

“Winter only lasts one day here?”

“Why shouldn’t it? We control the weather.”

I shrugged. “I suppose I’d rather have warm weather.”

“Great. The first day of spring is tomorrow, so every pony in Ponyville needs to clean up winter. Spike! Help me get ready!”

“Clean up winter? Who cleans up winter? Don't they just use magic to change the seasons like they do in Canterlot?” Spike rolled over to go back to bed.

“Ponyville was started by Earth ponies, so for hundreds of years they've never used magic to clean up winter. It's traditional.”

“Wait, so you just let winter happen, and then go to all the hard work of cleaning it up?”

She looked at me strangely. “I thought you earth ponies liked hard work?”

“You’ve known me for how long? I didn’t invent a robot to do my work for me for no reason.”

“But you went to all that work to do it.”

Darn it. Outwitted at my own game. Just for that, I told Twilight that I wouldn’t be participating in the cleanup. “Surely they won’t miss me.”

“You’re just going to sit around while everypony else does all the hard work?”

“Well, when you put it that way…my answer is still yes.”

She left in a huff, carrying Spike, who appeared to be still asleep. I sat down in front of the fire and cracked open another Daring Do book.

In a few minutes, a couple of stallions stopped by looking for Twilight. One of them was “Big” Macintosh Apple, Applejack’s brother. The other was Caramel, who sometimes worked with the Apples.

They were looking for Twilight for some reason. I told them that she had left early. Big Mac shrugged and went out without a word. Caramel walked after him, saying something about planting.

I noticed a small package on the floor. I didn’t know where it had come from, maybe one of the ponies had dropped it. It contained grass seeds.

Twilight and Spike came in along with the smell of skunk.

“Hibernation accident,” Spike explained. He grabbed a large bath tub.

“What have you got there?” Twilight asked me.

“Grass seeds."

“Oh, a wheatgrass smoothie sounds so good right now.”

“You don’t have a blender and you certainly don’t have an icemaker in this tree.”

She sighed. “Bring me a mortar and pestle, I’ll handle it.”

I helped Spike fetch the tomato juice to get the stink off Twilight. After that, I retreated to the furthest corner of the library. That smell was really something else.

I heard the two of them arguing about something. Spike apparently wanted Twilight to use magic to help the winter cleanup. For some reason, she was still against the idea.

When she was cleaned up, Twilight and Spike left. The smell still lingered a little. I decided to go outside.

A lot of the snow had been cleared, but there was still signs of winter everywhere. I started the fire in the PEX boiler and sat there warming my hooves. Across the street, I saw Twilight talking to a crowd of ponies about something. It looked like they’d put her in charge.

I decided to go for a little drive, or with the PEX I guess it would be a walk, to see how things were going. Ponies were pushing snow, planting seeds, making bird nests. Everything was looking almost clean. I stopped at the edge of a stream.

I watched a group of weather ponies form a flying V formation and penetrate the cloud bank, carrying most of the weather with them. I hadn’t expected the wind they caused to be so gusty. The PEX rattled a little and as I got it balanced, the stream bank gave way, tumbling me into the water.

The runoff from melting snow had increased the flow of the stream quite a bit. I rolled over and over inside the open cockpit of the machine, occasionally able to grab half a breath. The fire had to be out by now, and power would go soon. There was nothing to grab onto and no reference points to tell which way was up.

The ride suddenly smoothed out, but the water came flooding in. I kicked loose of the controls and swam to the surface. I was in the middle of the lake.

Looking down through the water, I couldn’t see the bottom. I began swimming to shore. When I pulled myself out on dry land, I was in a killer mood.

“I am going to find out who did this,” I muttered. “I will do bad things to them and break their possessions.” That was the general gist, anyway. The actual words were so horrifically violent that I don’t remember them.

Fluttershy did not seem to be at fault. After all, the animals had nothing to do with flash floods. Applejack was tending the fields. Rarity was making nests.

Pinkie had cut the ice on the lake. Rainbow had let the charge that blew away the clouds. Twilight had organized everything. Yes, those three would pay.

I walked back towards town. Everything was pretty much clean by now. The sun was shining and the birds were singing—

“No, can’t get distracted from vengeance mission.” I looked around, hoping to see one of the ponies I was looking for.

“Howdy,” said Applejack, walking up. “We’re gonna have a party to celebrate spring getting’ here early. The whole town’s gonna be there.”

“Good. The perfect place for…revenge.”

She looked at me. “Is this about that robot? Why don’t ya just build a new one?”

I thought about it for a moment. “It sure would make the slaughtering of my enemies easier.”

“Sugarcube, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, but could you keep it to yerself? Ponies already think you’re crazy enough.”

A fair point. I decided to just hate in silence. That is, until I could get the replacement for PEX up and running.

“Thank you very much, my dear Applejack. You’d better run along and play with your friends now. It might be the last time you get the chance.” I began to chuckle, and let it escalate into a full fledged crazy-laugh.

“Somethin’ ain’t right with that pony,” muttered Applejack as she walked away.

That evening at the library, Twilight didn’t notice me staring at her. I didn’t know what I would say if she caught me. Probably something creepy that she would just write off as mental illness. The benefit of being considered crazy is that nobody ever expects you to go more crazy. Oh, this was going to be good.

It was too bad that I woke up the next morning with some kind of paralyzing illness.

Comments

[Firebirdbtops]

Let me get this straight. Now he is ill. He still believes this is in his head. So now he thinks he is ill in his head? I do believe voicing this will cause anyone to instantly agree with him.

[Doobie]

bahaha, i like homicidal valiant.

[Disguised]

Never laughed for soo long before.

[totallynotabrony]

456919
Stick around. I'm told that it gets better in later chapters.

[Moon_Dew]

457037 It gets better!?

[Sparlight_Twikle]

“That’s right,” said Twilight. “It's Winter Wrap Up day!”
“Winter only lasts one day here?”
“Why shouldn’t it? We control the weather.”

And with this, you, sir, have won me over.

[Knighthawker]

Wait a minite... in the song. Dash says "three months of winter coolness and awesome holidays". Three months. Not one day.

[onsholo]

go oh brave BATTLE BRUVA Valiant and unleash you righteous wrath upon those heretical poneis

[Nova Nexus]

657051 It only took a guy who worked in Black Mesa to figure out a simple time continuity error. Great job by the way, the rest of us missed it apparently.

[Hoppa_21]

He could have actually helped in the winter-wrap-up with a flamethrower. It would have been a good test run for his robot.

Oh, and he could have used Spike as said flamethrower. I mean, just build a place for him and then in a team up sort of way clear the snow!

[Darkwhip]

As much as I'd like him to realize this is reality, the fiction couldn't be called a dream of he realizes he's not in one

[Hypnos]

Yes, yes, let the hate flow through you

[TheArcticWolf]

457037
Impossible! I don't believe you.