• Published 18th Sep 2013
  • 7,346 Views, 84 Comments

A Final Choice. - overlord-flinx



Twilight Sparkle offers to Sunset Shimmer "a final choice".

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The Final Choice.

The crystal mirror, gateway to the infinite possibilities of what may or may not rippled like clouded water as Twilight's hoof touched against it. The surface of the once solid glass wavered and splashing nonexistent water against the darkly lit room. From the small hole Twilight's hoof made against the reflective surface, expanding light shimmered from around her hoof and beat against the dark walls and against Twilight's eyes. Once the light touched her face, Twilight took her hoof back, momentarily remembering the sensation of fingers. If she had those fingers again, she would clench them once more and harden her resolve. Once more, she placed her hoof against the surface of the mirror. Only, this time, her hoof met against another hoof pushing hers back.

Twilight's eyes softened, her hoof planted against the crystalline floor, and she looked into the mirror; seeing not her own reflection anymore, but instead the reflection of Sunset Shimmer as her pony-self looking right back at Twilight with just as soft a look in her eyes. Twilight lowered her head, worlds of thoughts swirling within her head. And as Sunset Shimmer did the same, they both could see plain that either one of them had much to say.

When finally Twilight did speak, she was quiet in her approach, "Hello, Sunset Shimmer."

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle... It's been awhile," there were no words to be said to avoid what may be said as their meeting went on now; their eyes locked in a match of sorrow and grief.

"Yeah. It -uh... It really has. About two years..." Twilight laughed halfheartedly, trying to cut against what tension there could be.

Sunset Shimmer's muzzle turned to a smirk and she scoffed once at Twilight. "Eight-hundred and nineteen days... But who's counting, honestly?"

For that moment, they shared in a laugh. It was small, short, and perhaps forced on both sides... But it was a moment. "Sunset... There's something I've really been thinking about over these two years..." A moment that withered and died so that the purpose of meeting could grow. "But, it's something I will only say and offer once to you... Not because I'm 'feeling generous', or because I'm 'doing this as a reward' for you. I'm only doing this once because..."

Sunset Shimmer looked up to Twilight and saw she was holding on her words, paralyzed to admit what she had inside. So, Sunset opened her mouth and finished Twilight's thought for the both of them: "Because you yourself wouldn't want it offered to you a second time, would you?"

A simple nod came from Twilight as she collected herself and returned to looking at the reflection of Sunset Shimmer with purpose. "Right. Over these two years, I've learned a lot about you. About me... About a lot of things. But, I still have one question for you... Sunset Shimmer... Are you sorry?"

Sunset did not hesitate a moment to answer. The answer itself already clear to her after these thirty moons. "No... I'm not sorry for what I did..." Twilight sighed and looked down at the floor, only to look back up when Sunset Shimmer spoke once again, "I do, however, regret the choices I made and the horrible things I planned on doing. Not even for a second will I be sorry for what I did... But I wish I didn't do them. I wish..."

It was Twilight's turn to put words to Sunset's words as the other mare stalled on herself. "You wish you had known another way. Or, at the very most... Waited."

"Waited... Right. Waiting would've really worked out for me..." Sunset Shimmer spoke, malice burning against her words, "But... I've had a lot of time to 'wait' these past thirty moons... And I learned something from that time," she fixed herself and looked to Twilight Sparkle, "I learned humility from being stripped of power, a plan, and any way of plotting to power. For two years, I was completely humbled down to a human. Unlike the years before, people knew who I was and watched me for it... I didn't have anything above them any more. Because of all of that -all that time as just a human- I learned patience. How, with great power -the power every unicorn is born with- you can't speed through it and make it the best. You need to wait and have harmony with yourself... Harmony I never had inside me..."

"Until now," Twilight added, "Sunset, you've been away from home -your real home- for a really long time... And, while you were twisted with anger and bile when we first met, these past two years seem to have done wonders for you. That's why I came here... I want to offer you something."

"What would that be? A place in Canterlot again?" Sunset Shimmer, for the first time in their second meeting, gave a spiteful hiss and glare to Twilight.

However, that spite melted from her face when she saw something move from behind Twilight. Sunset's eyes narrowed, disbelief thumping against her heart and mind as Twilight's wings came out from behind her; one wing holding at the plume of its tip a shinning object against the dark backdrop around Twilight herself. It was an easy call to recognize with the golden wire frame and single purple gem as the head piece of the crown. Twilight's wing stretched out, not a moment's pause had as she offered out to Sunset Shimmer the Element of Magic. "Take this... And everything that goes with it."

Out before Sunset Shimmer was everything she ever wanted. The honor of the Elements, the promise of princess-hood, the greatest powers in all the worlds, and most of all: her final goal. Beyond her control, her eyes clenched tight and she started to shake her head. "If you take this now, you can be my student. And, someday, like Princess Celestia did to me, you'll be given princess-hood too. I would only give this to you, Sunset, because... Celestia, how different are we?" All the while Twilight spoke, small tears welled against her eyes and the crown against her wing shuddered.

"I could have been you. I could've grown up angry and selfish for more and more until it drove me to do what you did. My only difference is that I had my brother... I had Spike... and now, I have friends. Because of them, they kept me in harmony with myself. I know how painful it is to fail and understand why you did; but now having no power to change that. Celestia saw in me what she saw in you... Promise. It scared me when I thought about it. But if you had been in that school that day when that rainboom struck, maybe you would be here and I wouldn't. Maybe you would be wearing the crown and I would be behind the mirror. So... Maybe... You can have the second chance you always wanted... And the second chance I would have been begging for in your position."

"Twilight Sparkle..." broken, crackling, and now without restraint, Sunset Shimmer sobbed against herself and put her head firm against the floor, "I've only dreamed of hearing someone offering me a second chance. And here you are, giving me everything I've always wanted. But... I can't accept it. I won't accept it..." as best she could, Sunset Shimmer looked at Twilight Sparkle in her blurred, tear-filled vision, "That crown belongs to the ponies who earned it... It belongs to Equestria. And..." Twilight Sparkled watched silently as Sunset Shimmer's vision in the mirror turned back to a dull, flat reflection of Twilight herself, "...I can't go to a world that isn't my home."

Left alone against the dark crystal walls once more, Twilight dawned the Element of Magic upon her own head as small tears streamed down her face. "I know, Sunset... But, I thought I'd at least let you know I forgave you..."


"Our roles could have just as easily been reversed."

"...Or..."

"If things had been just a little bit better..."

"We could have been the best of friends."

Comments ( 52 )

This made me cry.:fluttercry:

i'm not crying it it- OH WAHHHH!:raritycry::fluttercry::raritydespair::ajsleepy::applecry:

A soundtrack as a tribute to these two.

Very touching... :fluttercry:

Damn. Nice way to end this.

~Skeeter The Lurker

:applecry:-->:pinkiesad2:-->:fluttercry:-->:raritycry:
GOD-f:yay:king-dammit, Flinx! And that song now! Wait, I need a second...

[HSXI.exe needs to reboot.:twilightoops: Please stand by.]

Now *sniff*, I gotta say, that this was truly a emotional fic. The fact that Sunset isn't capable of forgiving herself for what she has done and planned to do is really heart wrenching, especially considering the s:eeyup:t she's been through: got extremely frustrated, dropped studies, got trapped in an alien world for (how many years), had to endure highschool, got heartbroken and her ultimate plan of revenge and world domination was stopped by the worst plot device that has been used in the history of this show. Yeah, she became an Alpha B:pinkiegasp:ch and was pronounced Ball Princess three times in a row, but was she happy at any moment? :unsuresweetie:

I see Sunset Shimmer as a "tragic villain": She went through some hardships (that might not be as bad as some may think:ajbemused:) that ultimately molded her to what she is, and she still couldn't achieve what she most wanted with what she's got; and not only that, but she also loses every little bit of respect that she had in the same day:fluttershyouch:. That is a tragedy, and you managed to portray that pain perfectly in this fic. All the pain, the shame and the suffering is all weighting down on her conciousness, feeling that if she forsake that guilt and got over it might as well be sign that she didn't learn a thing. That... is powerful.

I could go on and on about what I can compliment about this fic, but I think this comment is too long already, so I'll leave it like this. Kudos, sir. Have a moustache :moustache: (X5).

-HSXI May the Power protect you.

My feels, they have been hit..... a lot....... :raritydespair:

Beautifully done.^^

3225808 ... If you hadn't linked that, I was going to. Bloody BRILLIANT game, with bloody BRILLIANTER music...

:moustache:I must say, I actually felt something. Not necessarily sadness, but more of a closure.

SHL

*Manly tears through my face* Celestia, that ending... Beautiful, sir, beautiful

I had this tune in my head while reading this.

It was a good story, congratulations.

A good end. Good, as in appropriate. Also, did you credit the artist of your cover art anywhere? That would be great if you did.

3227583 Thank you for reminding me.

I'm getting a Naruto- Gaara vibe from Twilight and Sunset

:fluttercry: That was beautifull and a brilliant closure from her start over the movie to your finish.

Err Mah Gerrd, dem feels :raritydespair::raritycry::fluttershbad:

Especially since I just finished watching EqG :twilightsmile:

I like it. but I don't get it. Not completely. I mean I kinda do know what's going on, but I don't. I guess that was kinda the point.

I am currently bracing for a dozen downvotes instead of an explanation.

But I don't even really need an explanation. I have my guesses.
I'm not utterly confused like when I was reading the fic which shall not be named, because it has no relevance and shall not be compared to this one.

That was a what the heck is gong on confused, this is an I'm not completely sure I understand confused.

But regardless. this is beautiful, and you should be proud.

OH WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT

HOW THE HECK COULD I BE SO STUPID!?

I had downloaded this, and read it, but there must have been a download malfunction, because I only got the prologue. I came to the website to review it... and um... just realized there was a second chappy. so um... yeah. Itmakessomuchsensenowandifeellikeanidiot

Um... well.. my last point still stands... this is beautiful, and you should be proud.

I enjoyed your oneshot, despite my dislike of the character that is Sunset.

Feels...
Pretty good for a one shot.

...I'm depressed:ajsleepy:

:fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair: MAH FEEEEEELS D; Oh, and one thing, the pony tags are 'Sunset Shimmer' and 'Twilight Sparkle.' It should be "Twilicorn" :twilightsheepish:

3252431 I refuse to use that tag... It's childish...

That hit me in the feels. Everything you proposed about Sunset and Twilight's relationship, the roles they play, it all makes perfect sense. I agree with you on all of them. And this chapter between them, the whole conversation was so powerful, especially by the time we got to the end. Great job. Loved it. :pinkiesad2::raritystarry::heart:

Wow, that was pretty good. I enjoy that one a lot.

I like the style of dialogue at the beginning. That was a very unique way to write. The instant you see it, you're drawn into it because it catches your eye and you're thinking 'Holy cow, what's going on? Gotta read more!' That was a very, very good strategy and a very awesome way to start your story.

The premise is pretty unique if I say so I'm sure other fics have done this, but I liked how it was done here. I liked how Twilight and Sunset compared each other. I thought that was pretty nice. The way they finish each other's sentence said to me that they really, truly understood one another. I felt like the two did have a strong connection to one another.

The ending threw me for a loop. I thought Sunset was going to take it. Then that ending so threw me off. But not in a bad way. It was still effective. It was still good because I was invested and I wanted it to work out, but sometimes that doesn't happen and that's so cool how it didn't work out how I planned.

A really, really good fic. The descriptions were great, the dialogue was good, the premise was good.

I loved it and I can't wait to read more from you. Take care. :pinkiehappy:

I hate you. You almost made me shed tears. But I love you for that as well. You take my like and fav.

I'm currently typing out this comment while sitting in a inflatable raft in my room. Because thats how many manly tears I've shed!!!:raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

Welp! Time for a review!!!

Style:
The first chapters double talk style was, admittedly, jarring at first. At first glance it was confusing on who was talking and how to exactly read it. That said once you get the hang of it or figure out how exactly to read it it is a very good set up for this story. With both Twilight and Sunset talking at the same time about how they need to see each other and confess something it hooks you in rather quickly. Beyond that everything else was written just perfectly. From descriptions to how the atmosphere between the two was built up with small pauses in the middle of speech . . . it makes my heart pound wondering just what was going to happen.

Characters:
While Twilight is an easy character to peg down sometimes, Sunset Shimmer is a pony that is a bit harder to do. Some see her as a megalomaniac who just wanted power. Other write her as a proud, egotistical pony. This rendition is the tragic villain type which, in all honesty, I really enjoyed. You explained quite well how Sunset herself, something I like seeing, came to the conclusion of what she has done wrong and what her weaknesses are; you could have very easily copped out and had Twilight explain it to her. On another part the characterization of Twilight and how she sees so many similarities between herself and Sunset Shimmer, down to the point she admits they could very well have traded places given a few changes in their lives, is also very believable. The fact these two are so similar in canon adds to this.

Plot:
This is kind of hard to peg down. Is this a story of redemption? No, not really. Sunset Shimmer isn't trying to redeem herself. Is it a story of atonement? Again, no, because Sunset isn't atoning for her crimes. If anything I believe this is a story about "closure" and "regret". Both characters regret choices they have made in their lives and are seeking closure towards the other. Sunset wishes to let Twilight Sparkle know that she has changed; while Twilight wishes to gain closure with Sunset Shimmer by giving her the second chance she wanted. I honestly did not think Sunset was going to take the second chance, given that it would be very phoned in, but I will not deny that I was still rooting for her to accept it. So when Sunset doesn't accept the offer and fades away back into the mirror it really tugged on my heartstrings. Sometimes I would suggest making a story longer or shorter to add build-up for certain things, but this clocked in at just the write amount of words.

My only concern is "why" Sunset didn't accept Twilight's offer. The explanation, "That crown belongs to the ponies who earned it... It belongs to Equestria. And...I can't go to a world that isn't my home" just doesn't add up. To me at least. Why isn't Equestria her home anymore? I'd say this really detracts from the story seeing as it doesn't give a plausible reason for Sunset to deny Twilight's offer, but the story was just written well enough that I'm not going to be too broken up about it.

Left alone against the dark crystal walls once more, Twilight dawned the Element of Magic upon her own head as small tears streamed down her face. "I know, Sunset... But, I thought I'd at least let you know I forgave you..."

This ending . . . this ending . . . if this was a picture I'd have cried.

Style: C+
Characters: A+
Plot: B+
TOTAL POINTS: A-

4346071

My only concern is "why" Sunset didn't accept Twilight's offer. The explanation, "That crown belongs to the ponies who earned it... It belongs to Equestria. And...I can't go to a world that isn't my home" just doesn't add up. To me at least. Why isn't Equestria her home anymore? I'd say this really detracts from the story seeing as it doesn't give a plausible reason for Sunset to deny Twilight's offer, but the story was just written well enough that I'm not going to be too broken up about it.

Well let me explain if you'll let me. You see, to Sunset, returning to Equestria would mean starting over in a world that isn't her's anymore. She's been gone from it, no one remembers her except the Mane 6 and Celestia. However, in the human world, everyone knows her. Leaving that world would be running from something she CAN make right. As the story tells, Twilight and her are very much alike. After the clouds of anger fade from Sunset's eyes, all that remains is a problem she made.

A problem that she CAN change and make right. If she were to accept the crown -accept Equestria- she would shut the door on an entire world again with only her anger being what they'd remember her by; again. Granted I didn't put that all together in the story as you may guess; but that's the fun of my stories like this. Interruption. Seeing what you think is there even if no one else can see it.

4346312 Well I came to the conclusion that the human world is where Sunset believes she belongs now, that there isn't a place in Equestria really for her even though Twilight offered her to become her student. So I suppose I got the gist of it. :twilightsmile:

Meh its ok. I wasn't really moved by this story.

Im not sure if i really understand what just happened, there isnt enough info for me to really put the pieces together.

This was really interesting. I feel like it was too short, but I still enjoyed the story.

Most of all, I liked the unique things you did with the dialogue structure.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Well, for all the first half really strings the reader along, I like where this goes. That said, this half doesn't feel as polished. There's a lot of really weird turns of phrase in both the narrative and the dialogue.

Twilight lowered her head, worlds of thoughts swirling within her head.

I learned humility from being stripped of power, a plan, and any way of plotting to power.

but now having no power to change that

Stuff like that. You did a good job building up to the emotional climax, though, so you get an upvote from me. :)

6255038 Ah well. Live and learn.

6482044 No-no-no-no. We don't say that around here. There are no bad ships; just bad ways of building and reasoning one. Love can exist anywhere and from anything. Anyone can be shipped with anyone else as long as you can reason it out.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6482044
how dare you, sir D:

I listened to Emogak's reading, it was wonderful. This story is terrific, great job!

I can understand Sunset's refusal. Twilight shouldn't (and IMO never would, even if it would be impossible now anyway, given she no longer has the Element) just give her the crown (or promise her Alicornhood, which I don't think she has any direct control over anyway). Instead I have to think Twilight would offer to give her a home and be her mentor (if she wanted) in Equestria (much like she did with Starlight) and that at least Sunset might be able to accept.

Sigh, sad story just to be sad I guess? *shrug* Well off to find something happy to wash this away with.

7750694 If that's how you read it and decided to take away from it, that's fine. Glad you read it.

7752888
Sorry if my comment came off as especially negative or anything. I thought your story was well written (the alternating thoughts being an interesting mechanic) it just doesn't do much more me emotionally. I couldn't relate because I personally couldn't feel for where the characters were coming from (I would have tried harder in Twilight's shoes and I don't personally see what Sunset got out of this exchange really), nor match it with the show sensibilities (how Twilight acted here vs how she dealt with Starlight), and from a fandom perspective I hope for happier endings. Regardless of my own personal tastes, I do appreciate that you took the time to write this and share it with us. Thank you.

7752993 You have a fine point, of course. This story was written before the second movie, of course. A time before Sunset Shimmer's character was left fairly ambiguous at the end of her first appearance. The whole point and message of the story isn't exactly a takeaway or greater meaning, or really an offer. The idea of the story is more or less "it's the thought that counts" or "it's the gesture that matters". Can Twilight give princesshood to someone? Can Sunset start a new life in Equestria again? Maybe, maybe not. That all remains to be seen or reflected on. But what does matter is giving someone the small notion that all is forgive; that the past is indeed in the past by making a grand, giant motion. A motion that may or may not even be achievable. And they both know that in some way.

But the point is that you showed if you could give it all to someone, you would; because you don't feel any bad blood anymore. It's a hard concept to grasp. And I admit I may not be able to convey it as well as I try to. But, more or less, it's what I wanted to show. lol.

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