After a lot of procrastinating and planning, Twilight Sparkle ends up asking out Rainbow Dash.
My first TwiDash fic!
Twilight Sparkle is best pony, OctaScratch is OTP. Thanks for checking out my stories and/or profile!
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i love it and i can't wait for more chapters of this story to come out
Hey This isn't too bad! Keep up the good work!
very nice! i feel you got the characters down pat for the most part. i felt that rainbow would have (playfully) teased twi a little more for how odd she was acting, but other than that i loved it!
You have very nice start here, looking for some more of this
Suck it Skeeter. Now that that's done, time to read.
Suck it Skeeter!
And you're off the line and entering turn 1 at the front of the pack of cars
Great start, lets see what happens next
damn it cliff hanger!
Ok, this has my interest. Nice steady start to a good one.
Smooth move in Spike's part.
3083054>>3083206
Comments #5 and #6... I am dissapoint. Also... It's "Skeeter", not "skeeter".
At least get the name right.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3083475 We did get the name right, what coffee are you drinking?
Also, I was busy with work, so I had a valid reason I missed comment #1. So... Suck it Skeeter!
3083480
...
Clever girl.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3083482
So... that's 2 for Tim and Vert, 0 for Skeets
3083489
If you keep track of how many I got before you, it's at least x100.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Huzza more Twidash! More good Twidash, at that. Really want to see where you're gonna take this.
I keep on checking back, waiting for a new chapter! I can't wait much longer! Oh and where the heck are the Luna emoticons?
hahahaha excellent love it so far and cant wait for more chapters
HALLELUJAH
Awesome, definitely a great start. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!!
3084212
I only just finished this one last night (and by last night I mean at 12:20-ish this morning), so I probably won't get around to another chapter for a few days at least. I blame uni work broniesaustralia.com.au/images/smilies/pony/drink.jpg
To everyone else who has favourited/liked/commented expressing enjoyment, thank you! I wasn't expecting this to be nearly this popular!
For some reason this reminded me of.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlyXNRrsk4A
Spaces between paragraphs would be appreciated. Otherwise, awesome story and can't wait for more.
3085232 well that's great! i have a LOT of time on my hands so i can wait
My only criticism is that there isn't any more yet
Anyway, yay TwiDash!
Great start!! MOAR
This is real good. Great balance of neurotic Twilight/nervousness while still reaching the only reasonable conclusion without an obnoxiously dragged out cowardice period.
I have one thing to say... MORE PLEASE!!
cant wait to see whats next!
don't worry twi
You just womand up bit the bullet
Which is the best way to go about it
Oh, Twilight. Didn't you know? RAINBOW DASH IS MINE!!!
JK, go for it, Twi
I'm okay with this. Keep it up!
Alrighty. Decent lead-in. I am really sick of the "Twilight is so socially inept that she doesn't know what she's feeling" angle. It stinks a little too much of "Twilight is a brilliant moron" to me, but otherwise I bought it. We'll see how it goes.
Aahhhhhh, flustered Twilight is realllly cute. Please keep up the good work, really lovin' it!
GO FOR THE MARE .TWILIGHT!!!!
What?
Me: NOTHING
damn first chapter cliff hangers
Great beginning. I had a brief, strange hope that you'd show us the flow chart.
...
What? I'm a sucker for flow charts.
Magical twinkies
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=mp9Fhs2f8_Q]
3096855 Wtf...
I would have killed spike if i was twi >.> Awesome story spectrum cant wait for next Chapter^^
I wonder why most insist on having Fluttershy as the 'councilor' for love advice.
It's effective, yes, but done a lot.
Anyway, love how you ended this. But is it truly over? Or just for now?
And don;t be so hard on yourself. You'll learn how to do it soon enough.
~Skeeter The Lurker
ok, i gotta be honest about this. when i first read that ending, i thought you were joking. then i read the authors comment, and went back to the main page to see if it really was complete. it was. and that saddens me a whole lot, cause this be much longer, and a VERY good story. in other words, i'd suggest making either a sequel, or continuing this story, cause it has so much potential!
meh
3121025
I was actually originally thinking of having Rainbow go to all of her friends for advice to do, but then I decided that it would get repetitive and it would basically be padding out the story, so I decided to just settle on Fluttershy.
3121105
Nah, I don't think I'd be that good at dragging out something like this. I was actually originally going to just do this as a one-shot, but then I decided that Rainbow would probably need time to think over Twi's offer. Plus it gave me an excuse to end the first chapter on a cliffhanger. In addition, the reason I pretty much ended up doing this was because I wanted to write a scene with Twilight being jittery and nervous about asking somepony out, and since I've accomplished that, I see no need to drag this out meaninglessly.
Thanks for the kind comments!
3121427
Makes sense. And it works.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Wait... What?
That's it?
Wat.
Uh... wut. I mean.... wat. I don't.... huh?
Seriously? That's it? Dude... I mean... really? As true as it is you've done what you apparently wanted to do, you can't just end a story like that out of the blue. With the beginning I was getting myself ready for an actual Twidash STORY that didn't end after the "yes". I mean... great story/chapter but... Seriously? That's IT?
Wat
Seriously... There's hardly a story here. It's a good first fic, but keep in mind that plot is a pretty important piece of a story; if the only conflict is that Rainbow doesn't know how to respond, maybe there are other forces out there that sway her judgement? Perhaps there are situations that occur while they date that make Rainbow question her decision?
I'm sorry if this comes off as rude--I don't mean to be--but this isn't a story, my friend. It's the beginning of one.
... It's over...?
Oh well. A good read nonetheless. Thank you for giving me some new TwiDash to enjoy, even if it was ephemeral.
3121427 It's probably a good thing that you didn't go with the whole "asking everyone" thing. That whole thing is old and tired...
I really enjoyed this one! There isn't enough short & simple twidash lately. I especially enjoyed the super-nervous and flustered Twilight!
I see these comments are full of "that's it??" But don't let all that get to you, you did a great job! Though if you do plan to continue it or do more twidash, I'd recommend avoiding the other old and tired trope of throwing in a bunch of conflict that gets between them and yadda yadda yadda. You've got a lot of room for cute flustered Book Nerd stuff that doesn't get explored that much~
WE THE PEOPLE DEMAND MOAR!!!!!!!