Vinyl lives a rough lifestyle, and it grates on more than just her health. When Octavia comes looking for her, Vinyl flees out of shame.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 34 )

Interesting. I will have to look at this later; I have another fic I am catching up on right now.

EDIT: Okay, I thought this would be about Octavia and Vinyl. But then I see Lyra there. Colour me intrigued, I AM READING TO SEE HOW SHE ENDS UP IN THIS STORY!

Lyra seems a bit out-of-nowhere, but I guess that works. I like the pervading uneasiness between Vinyl and, well, everything.

I feel like I read something like this before, so you don't get the "most original thing I ever read"-price. But It was executed well and I quite liked "Somepony had to poke the mysteries of the universe. Aggressively."-Lyra in this story.

This is really interesting and kind of hits a spot that I and friends have delt with. (I'm kinda on the Octavia side, if you must know.)

I did love Lyra in this. She comes off as the weird, but somewhat knowing mentor: she's been there, sort of done that, and has come out a better pony.

Great job! :raritywink:

Well Cyne, I really liked this story. It really was a Slice of Life. I liked it because it didn't force resolution on the characters. Nothing felt shoehorned or unnatural. The first part of the story reminded me a lot of the book Iron Dragon's Daughter by Michael Swanwick. If you haven't read it, it's definitely worth a read. Lyra was well written and Octavia was very present in the story, even though she barely had any actual presence, if you see what I mean. Definitely getting my thumbs up for it!

I didn't see any real fleeing in there. And that whole scene with Lyra and going back seems like it's a dream, not an actual event. Nicely written, but it feels like it's a missing a good chunk of something.

The Canterlot street beneath her hooves swam, and the world refused to come into focus. So the DJ shut her eyes, and imagined that the she couldn’t feel the earth spinning underneath her through space.

Another town, I've left behind
Another drink, completely blind
Another hotel, I can't find...

The blazing fire in those beautiful—

It is not a proper party until someone sets fire to an emu...


I feel like I read something like this before,

This seems to be a pretty common MLP fiction trope.

Overall, I enjoyed this little Slice-of-Life.

I heard the guy who wrote this story has anal sex with knighty for money.

Just sayin'. :moustache:

wow. i am very impressed, vinyl and tavi are my favorite couple and this is a very excellent way to describe what obstacles they'd have to face and overcome together, and so many feels :fluttercry: but overall very well done. :pinkiehappy:

Fuck me... How the hell did I miss this?

Beautiful, man, simply beautiful.

Not only was it well written (as usual), but I could connect really well with them. Seen something similar to that.

Again. Beautiful.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Not a lot of people try to make slice of life stories, they're just damn hard to do. This was well done though, beautiful work.

Just… wow.

Amazing. In every way.

Very, very good. This needs to go into my favorites. However I spotted a couple mistakes and I feel it's my duty to point them out:

“Oh, I know. Sorry. It’s actually kind of a nervous habit. I laugh to easily, you know.”

I guess you meant "too easily".

The sun was beginning it’s slow climb up from the dark beyond the horizon

"its slow climb"
Maybe there was another wrong "it's" somewhere but at the moment I can't remember... oh well, I still did something to help I guess :twilightsheepish:
And have some fitting songs I listened to while reading :twilightsmile:

It was a good read. The feelings are too deep, I don't know what they are or what they are called.

2872997 Called shame, hon.

Least, that's what I scrawled on my plannin' doc.

True, there is shame and I know that feeling very well. The feelings I was talking about are the ones where some random stranger shares your life with you for no reason in the hopes to make you better even though you are beyond hopeless. Also the part about a roommate who would go to hell and back just to make sure your sorry ass is safe and then when you apologize all she can say is "it's ok."

Maybe it's just me, but I can't see anyone coming after me like that. Granted I don't go to wild parties and do drugs and whatnot, but my mind just can't fathom a relationship that is that strong.
Most of my relationships are either professional or just acquaintance level and the few friends I do have are almost always busy and they are drifting away for the third or fourth time. Maybe it sounds like I'm being a bitch, but I personally cannot understand the feels presented in this story.

2873344 That's sad, my friend.

I was thinking a lot of myself.

I have, as the line from "A Streetcar Named Desire" goes, always depended on the kindness of strangers. It is a galling sort of thing to be torn out of your iniquity and sat down to see it in the light of day. It's happened to me several times, and it is the worst thing. In the end, the failing of this story is that I tried to convey that and found I really just... didn't want to. At all. I couldn't. I shied away. It's an awful thing to be yanked out of the dark, a good and necessary thing, but so awful.

2864705 she is a bit, isn't she?

2865421 I have seen and been both of them
And heh, thank you.

2865708 hooray!

2865865 She fled the show at Rockland. And also in a more metaphorical sense, was running from the fact that she's being self-destructive.

Yes, well... I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You are right when you say that is the worst feeling... it leaves scars that are not easily forgotten.

I don't want to leave it on that note, but right now I am too tired to think of something worthwhile to say. I guess we should just try to find the silver lining in the clouds, until they part and show the sun.

Yes, well... I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You are right when you say that is the worst feeling... it leaves scars that are not easily forgotten.

I don't want to leave it on that note, but right now I am too tired to think of something worthwhile to say. I guess we should just try to find the silver lining in the clouds, until they part and show the sun.

2873511 That we could. The world always moves on!

Thank you for readin', by the way.

What you have here is a really sweet story. The characters are great, Vinyl in particular. You narrated her confused, conflicting thoughts very well. This story easily could have devolved into something very hammy, in the hands of someone less talented, but it never once went down that road. You dealt with some serious subjects and you did it in a very mature way.

But despite all that, there's something missing. I don't know. This doesn't quite have the emotional impact it could have. Maybe you didn't go far enough. Maybe you didn't deal with the story in as direct and open a way as you should have. I really don't know. It's still good as is, but it feels like it could have been something really special.

I really enjoyed this and hope you continue with it despite the complete tag

2890725 You're feeling me losing the story.

I began well, didn't I? But then life threw me a curveball that hit me in the face... and suddenly the emotions I had wanted to bring to the fore were too fresh. So I shied away.

...Anyways, great story.

2908382 oh god I knew someone was gonna question that

Can't say i really liked this one.
Not sure if it started out too depressing, or not depressing enough, but either way the feel of the story ended not hitting the target for me.
Also, Lyra seems out of place, also, always hated the "stranger comes out of nowhere and gives you a life changing epiphany" thing, seems so contrived, and i hate other people intruding in my business, even when they might be helpful in doing so.

2890725 It's because it tails out at the end without a resolution. Which, by the way, I really love. It really is the perfect ending, because it leaves the emphasis on her thoughts and the potential for her to make a change on her own. I like the variety of threads in there, her different desires and interests (Lyra's cute, but Octavia is Octvia, and partying is partying). I think drawing a more conclusive end would have spoiled the tension and mystery, or would have demanded a longer tale.

This really is a great short story, a great study of Vinyl's character, which is only enhanced by Lyra's oddness. I don't know if you purposefully pulled on some fanon/headcanon strings there, but I LOVE her role and how she acts in a way that's almost show-canon, as opposed to the grittier reality you've portrayed. It's odd, but she's odd and together the oddness is oddly great. Little touches.

This story is one of the ones that gets me a bit excited- the writing flows so nicely and little touches of storytelling keep popping out almost as afterthoughts, intrusive but not disruptive.

2865302 I bet it's University Days. That one was in my head as I read this story-- all I could think was, "I wish Cyne had gotten the idea to write this before UD came to be!" so it could have been stretched out. I like UD as it is, I like it a whole lot, but part of that is because of the intense familiarity of the basic storyline- it's similar to a raft of serial stories, GNIPs and comics I've read that it was interesting for it's variations and the characters. It was fun and sweet!

But this... if UD had been written with characters developed the way Cyne does, it would have been a gangbuster of a suspense/adventure/love story. Emotionally, it would have been a hell of a ride.

I think I'm going to go re-read Cyne's story again.

I like this. Most likely, Vinyl won't change because of these events. But maybe she will, or maybe she will in the future. There's no sudden magic fix, but it isn't bleak either. It feels like Vinyl has a choice, and she may also have the strength to change her life.

Login or register to comment