- Member Since 13th Aug, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 12th, 2022
Sarcastic Brony
Give me one reason Celestia isn't best pony. Pro tip: You can't
Sarcastic Brony
Joined 13th Aug, 2012 ·
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Cliché, but I liked it.
I'd love to see one with Babs.
all right story good way to break a writers block good luck on the next chapter
Then Applebloom has a foal.
More plz
Good story, although I find it weird to imagine myself (hence the first person) with Applebloom. I mean I'm used to read foalcon ships like RD and Scoots or something. Although I cannot say I didn't like this, hell I loved it. 8 out of 10.
I'm gonna hate myself even more for doing this, but.... Faves
It was...cute.
Could use some proof-reading, edits, etc. But for a one-shot, it was sweet. I enjoyed reading it. Upvote!
E>>2846512 it doesn't matter if they're different species it kinda still is molestation..... But kind of a buzzkill for me... I've seen better!
Foalcon or not,
don't leave this a oneshot!
i.imgur.com/tfZQS.jpg
2848517
Molestia, you've DONE better. With yourself. Well, -selves.
i like to see more my be with
Hmmmm
2 things.
1: perhaps replace you with I. as constantly reading you doesn't make seance as it's a first person story.
2: please correct the accent. A applejack and applebloom where varying in there accent. Nothing to consistent with it. As for ya and ya'll please use them correctly. Ya'll is meant for addressing multiple people. Ya is for one. (that misuse really ticks me off. It's not hard to get.) but overall it wasnt bad. Just correct the accent and change it to first person and it will look better.
2852145
English wasnt my first language. So sorry if I cant get accents right.
2852873 it's alright. I can understand that not everyone knows perfect english. It's just I have a southern accent myself, so it kinda bothers me when its likes that.(mainly it feels slightly mocking.) But good story none the less.
2850611 I know I'm ashamed......... LUNA!!!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!
yes do more on fillies
i am not ashamed
It's good.
Alright, i didn't read this yet, but before I do:
img1.ak.crunchyroll.com/i/spire4/b5c077c065c4b1d25a8ef822b995ac581323215117_full.jpg
UNLOCK POWER INHIBITORS! MAN MODE, ACTIVATE!
All right, let's do this!
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1a10786hX1r6oot6.gif
Don't think that that will slip past me, I see what you did there.
2852145 This story is a second person story.
First person: I, me, my, mine
Second person: You, You're, Your
I don't see how it wouldn't make sense.
Thumbs down mate...I can't like something like this...
Very well done I enjoyed it :) jeep up the good work
Have to admit that I wish they were all connected, or that you would do a different story where they are all connected. It'd be pretty interesting to see the main guy be with all the CMC. I can't really think of any story that does that. There was Hotsauce and his fic from a couple of years back, but he just stopped updating.
2906269
Alright.. Could have just left your thumbs down, didn't really need to know that you thumbed it down because you didn't like it. That could have easily been assumed from the former.
Alright, this is what I am talking about. Just don't make him sad or get kicked out of Equestria and you will have earned that favorite I did far in advance
Your doing a very good job!
And not just making the character's mindless perv's is actually a plus. For now anyway. Might have to make one or two of those if you decide to go after other fillies.
I say Diamond Tiara would be a good start on that type of character.
really good one but am waiting for sweetie belle and is there go to be a babs seed one sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/p480x480/62584_501916573176300_776015339_n.jpg
*gets sent to HELL*
2910069
I may do Babs, the problem I really face with her is the accent. If I can get more practice with that then it will be all the more enjoyable for everyone.
Looking for front door? Click hear to find front door now!
Oh god why did I read this, I am going to burn for this!
On a side note, the clop is very well done and the pacing was great. Can't wait for the next chapter... I think...
i.imgur.com/tfZQS.jpg
nuff said
I wish these were all the same guy it would have been funny as hell is that was the case.
babs: Ponyville! Ey my cuzin lives on up there, Ya know'er ? Names Applebloom.
Me: Yeah, I fucked her last week.
And I love how Babs just goes with some stranger to his hotel room. I mean, its not like he's gonna- oh wait, he did.
Proper nouns like "Manehattan" need to be capitalized every single time. It's "Revels" and not "Reveals". "I met a cousin of Appleblooms" should be "I met a cousin of Apple Bloom's" with an apostrophe; her name is also two words, not one. "Nopony" is one word when used in place of "Nobody." "It's" only needs an apostrophe when it's a contraction of "It is" and not when it's the possessive form. Several sentences seem to have a random word or two missing. "Move passed" should be "Move past." There's probably other mistakes, but these are the ones that stick out to me.
loved it, the story made my heart melt.
2992533
Thanks for the help. Combed threw it some more and the quality should be better now.
Sweetie Belle should be next.
3013727 This.
I wanted to like this, but I can't -- too many errors. Bad grammar, poor punctuation, lack of capitalization, using the word "threw" when it should be "through", repeatedly referring to her parents as just one parent, and so on. Please consider working with a proofreader for your future stories.
So many fillies, and so little soul left.
Well, lets continue riding this filly fuck coaster to hell. I call shotgun!
3115526 What's a soul? I think I lack one
Im not a religion person but if hell exists...I know my fate when i die
3179267
Line starts behind me buddy.
I can't read dis no more, for gods sake THIS IS A STORY WERE U SCREW A BABY HORSE!!! I QUIT!!!
clipartist.info/FAVS/2011/October/COLOURINGBOOK.ORG/fap_meme_black_white_line_art_coloring_book_colouring-555px.png
images.wikia.com/simpsonsff/es/images/9/96/CharlieWaters.jpg
2906269 hey bro I like how you gave a thumbs up to YOUR OWN COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
NOOB
Not complaining; but, I like how the receptionist assumes that a filly is a human's daughter.
this was amusing, that i will read it more than once