I wish these were all the same guy it would have been funny as hell is that was the case.

babs: Ponyville! Ey my cuzin lives on up there, Ya know'er ? Names Applebloom.

Me: Yeah, I fucked her last week.

And I love how Babs just goes with some stranger to his hotel room. I mean, its not like he's gonna- oh wait, he did.

Proper nouns like "Manehattan" need to be capitalized every single time. It's "Revels" and not "Reveals". "I met a cousin of Appleblooms" should be "I met a cousin of Apple Bloom's" with an apostrophe; her name is also two words, not one. "Nopony" is one word when used in place of "Nobody." "It's" only needs an apostrophe when it's a contraction of "It is" and not when it's the possessive form. Several sentences seem to have a random word or two missing. "Move passed" should be "Move past." There's probably other mistakes, but these are the ones that stick out to me.

loved it, the story made my heart melt.

2992533
Thanks for the help. Combed threw it some more and the quality should be better now.

Sweetie Belle should be next.

3013727 This.

I wanted to like this, but I can't -- too many errors. Bad grammar, poor punctuation, lack of capitalization, using the word "threw" when it should be "through", repeatedly referring to her parents as just one parent, and so on. Please consider working with a proofreader for your future stories.

So many fillies, and so little soul left.

Well, lets continue riding this filly fuck coaster to hell. I call shotgun!

3115526 What's a soul? I think I lack one

3179267
Line starts behind me buddy.

I can't read dis no more, for gods sake THIS IS A STORY WERE U SCREW A BABY HORSE!!! I QUIT!!!

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Not complaining; but, I like how the receptionist assumes that a filly is a human's daughter.

Who's gonna be the 4th filly that gets defiled? The waiting is killing me.

3302922 Please be Sweetie Belle! Please be Sweetie Belle! Please be Sweetie Belle!

A guy can can only hope

“I get what you mean.” You add. “I too have felt that loneliness before.”
/quote]

'I've' sounds less awkward than 'I too have.'

...i kinda feel like a grammar nazi right now.

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too late.

we are all going to pony hell

2990088 you sir...must not moustache.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“I want to rememba what love feels like.”

Three fillies, three "instant love" plots, but worst of all, three "painful deflorations", when hymens hardly ever hurt when popped, if they're popped at all.
This just got too repetitive for my tastes, and what 3102195 mentioned, plus the overusage of "as" (which, by the way, is to ONLY be used in place of "while" or "since") hurts it even more.

4273828 whelp that songs ruined for me thanks

You fall onto your ass in total bliss as you just try to take in the afterglow of what you just went threw.

I've seen you use this word multiple times throughout this chapter. While the spelling itself is correct, you used the wrong word. The word you're thinking of is 'through'. 'Threw' is one of the words used for the past-tense of 'throw' with the other being 'thrown'.
Ex: "I threw it in the trash." "It was thrown away last week."

This Twilight Sparkle moment brought to you by WorldWalker128.

4240487
At least we'll see plenty of Ponies there, as opposed to Human Hell.

I loved this chapter it was sweet.I can't wait to see if you want.

Uhhhhhhh uhhhhhhh uhhhhhhh :derp:

5168121
Seeker Jeff he he en my re wh ki if c3 who icey or3 1o it's 3l8 ice hid to luc free wi of he ei TV g3 ti nhc ft TC vu if free ev my ha ah now ro j1 epis nude new no icnx guns nek kids fnf in a home with a great dog 😉 😜 and they are very nice to be there with them came to the one true and I dont have a lot to say that you are you going first to be honest about what is the salary you want more than the average price for a long 😉 and I would love you and your wife for a long time I think you will have to go back and forth to work on this and then you can I have one for the next one and then you will have a phone with me on my computer so you don't need me anymore or if I stay on my computer for the next two weeks or not so I'll have a better of the time to do it is currently on my computer so that you can I have one for the next one large and a little more of the same color and the 6th of each month and I will to be able of the village of Continent to get steven and the rest is the only other than a good night to go on the ground and I was late in 6th and didn't know what to expect from you to get me in on a trip and then you can I have one for the next few weeks or a week to go over it and get back to you with some ideas on what you want to finish this week or if I need money for the next two months and have found a few things that you might be interested to see you later on Alton I think its just the same thing I have to do it for you to be rude or f about me being in love you and I don't know how you want me in this world and you don't want me in your only life I can you get me with a friend and you are you going first for me to be rude or not knowing you were put in a way for you and I don't know you to be rude or even a bit upset because you have to put in the pussy for a long time I have to wait until the end up to a job I will to get me a new one for my phone got the wrong address for my little dog and it is currently on my way home for a little pony fan of my new home for a long time now and it was very good to have been there is a monster and I dont. Jesus, it seems that if you put some random Bible excerpt in the translator 9 or 10 times you get some love story written on meth