TechnicolorShortie
Joined 27th Jan, 2013 ·
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Can I get a "DAMN SON/GIRL!! TOO GOOD!!"
Can I also get a "Vanilla" tag?
If this is what I think it is, then
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5187714304/hF6118377/
Ohhh....gotta love it when you catch those stories like this one that just got uploaded today!
Let's dive in!
OK i'm not gonna lie, i loved reading this.
Very good grammer on that note.
4.8/5 it felt like something was
missing, not sure what though.
Also I think I might start fallowing you.
P.S. I have no idea why I'm reading clop sense I'm not even in a clopping mood... Make that 5/5 for
me reading clop out of a clop mood.
Edit: Wait? Sweeeet first comment. Didn't even realize i had it.
THEY COULD USE SOME TENTACALES HAHAHAHAHA
That was pretty good, I like that it went on for a bit afterwards and dispelled that feeling of wrongness.
Now when can we expect the AnnonxBabs fic you will inevitably be writing to close the CMC loop?
3481064 >sendyshyzilla no just no
3481779 WAT IS WRONG. I LIKE THAT KIND OF ACTION. AFTER THAT I TAKE THEIR SOUL HAHAHAHAHA
Oh god yes.
Nice story! Serious kudos for writing a story in second person! Nice job.
3481064
I agree, the lack of tentacles is disturbing.
3483647
I'M GLAD YOU AGREE WITH ME
3481835 Hmm... *Slaps Slenderman*
*Everyone gawks at me*
"What?"
This was a very good fic. It deserves a moustache for being awesome. so here you go
nice to see a sweet story :)
this was too damned good to leave hanging, I saw the title, I was hooked as I knew what it meant right away. for such good work you have scored ten hearts
3484501 tentacles in this would seem to overrated, I side with you on this
3484090 *stares silently at SLENDER-MAN, shakes head side to side in disapproval, then smacks SLENDER-MAN in the back of the head*
*everyone stares in surprise*
What, he deserved it.
slender man, nice but no.
as for the story, I would have ask for them to slowly, torturously break me then annihilate me
Ehh... Well I didn't expect this...
Me likes
(not the clop though, I'm not into that, but the story itself was great)
3490836WHY YOU LITTLE.....I WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS AND....*cough* *cough*...oh my throat...i'm getting to old.....
3492747 I FEAR NO ONE, NOT EVEN YOU SLENDER-MAN. IT IS YOU WHOM SHALL FEAR ME. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Wow....this was a pretty touching story and a damn good read.
3492747
Fail
Ok, the ONLY thing I did not care for is the use of the name "Anon". To me, using "Anon" shows that the writer does not care to make the effort to give the human a real name.
This story is better than that, and the character deserves a better name.
Beyond that, I really enjoyed this fic.
Definitely going into my favourites
3494618REALLY YOUR GOING WITH THE WHOLE YOU SHALL FEAR ME....PLEASE DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PONIES AND PEOPLE HAVE SAID THAT CLICHE......A LOT.......AND I DON'T FEAR YOU IF YOU KILL ME THATS THAT.....BUT i WILL ALWAYS BE HERE
3507050 Can't you ever take a joke.
3507054HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO....I MEAN REALLY COME UP WITH A BETTER ONE
3507077 I know my jokes are crappy okay, I just couldn't think of anything better.
3507238YOU KNOW WHAT....SORRY OK I APOLOGIZE
3507581 no I wasn't offended, the funny thing is when I admit that my jokes are crappy I make a joke of it in it's entirety. so I enjoy saying that my jokes are crappy when I don't get a laugh out of the attempt of the original joke. I make fun of my bad sense of humor.
3507591MMMMMMM.....YOUR ONE OF A KIND......*teleports away*
3507673 we're all unique in our own way, although some don't see it that way.
I was not expecting this story to have this much heart, honestly. Have well-deserved thumbs up
3480438 I second this, but only after reading it.
i liked it, it had a good story ^_^
I read this not sure of what to expect. Some clop sure but not something as good as this,!! (No offence!!
)
.
It had high quality grammar and the story and character building of AB was really well done. I skipped the clop as I'm off to a mates house but I will read it later
Basically, one of the best short romance stories I have read. Possibly THE BEST!!
The reactions of the Apple family had me dying
! Granny Smith truly had the best response to them being together.
muy bueno de verdad.... me gusto la historia , porque es facil de leer, gracias
two words: Meh Gusta.
um.......I don't know what to say about this
good....I think?
I am the absolute worst. Bottom of the barrel. I can't believe I actually made such a mistake, not just in the beginning, but for 8 WHOLE WEEKS.
I am so sorry. I forgot to add my editor as a credit for the story. Without her, this would never have been finished.
I don't know if she'll ever forgive me, but... God, I feel like such a worm...
Not only did I not think about it when posting, but I forgot for 8 weeks that it had more than every reason to be on there.
I'm also sorry I've not been around as much. After dealing with getting it all out there, I've just been so tired of putting the proverbial pen to paper. So much has happened in this past 8 weeks, and nothing I've written in that time has been on the subject of pony fanfiction. I'm... burned out for now, I guess. Much as I never wanted to say it, I can't sugar coat that fact.
The only positive note to this right now is this: I've read the comments, feedback, and criticisms posted here, and I'm eternally grateful for all of it. Without a reader, a writer is nobody. If you've had any care for me whatsoever, probably not now considering this gigantic set of problems, I want you to know that it would never have gone anywhere close to as far as it has without all of you. Most I can't answer for other than simply taking a small bow and hoping it was truly worth your time to comment.
For the criticisms, should there come a day when my passion for storytelling lights anew, I will most certainly be returning here to take note of the things I've been generously given. All critique is worth looking into, even with fanfiction regarding colorful ponies from a show for little girls. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right.
3783195 ...would you like a jelly baby?
I'm guessing this is humanized?
3961190 nope!
As for the story, it was fucking adorable.
aww that was such a sweet story
it was amazing
Hey what sweet read.
It gets a
4 outta 5.
>second person
if you're writing a second person story, don't give the character a name. The point of a second person story is it's you. Naming the character takes away that immersion, because the reader keeps seeing the other characters call them by a name that isn't theirs.
>character is called Anon
My name isn't Anon, author.
Also, it's lazy. If you're going to give your character a name, give them a real name.
So what you're saying is........
She's my Apple Pie
A cool drink of juice
What a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet Apple Pie!