An End and a Beginning
A few Days Later
The ward at Ponyville General smelt heavily of disinfectant, driving home just how vulnerable Scott was right now. With the creature and its power removed, the powerful stallion had become emaciated to the point of being almost skeletal. He'd been brought in immediately after the Elements of Harmony had banished Anarchy, and stabilised quickly by the medical staff.
Princess Luna was by the stallion's bedside, as was Nurse Redheart. The former was running her glowing horn over Scott’s body, while the latter was looking over a clipboard of test results. Waiting anxiously by the door was the Apple family. Applejack, had a bandage around her middle and was supporting Big Macintosh, who had bandages wrapped around his own body in addition to a cast on his foreleg. Granny Smith stood by them with an ice pack on her head, while Revier and Apple Bloom sat by their hooves, eyes fixated on Scott.
The room was deathly silent, only broken by the hum of hospital machinery and stellar magic.
“The creature is truly gone,” Luna finally stated.
“Although it took just about every drop of his innate magic, not to mention anything else it had its grubby claws into,” muttered Redheart.
“Will he die?” asked Reiver, flatly.
“No,” replied the nursemare. “But he will take a long time to recover.”
“From what we have seen,” explained Luna. “Your father and the creature Anarchy had almost become one entity. Had they been joined any longer, the pair would have been truly indistinguishable. It seemed that he survived because there was just enough of him left as an individual.”
“A scan shows brain activity, but he’s effectively in a coma,” continued Nurse Redheart, flipping through the papers on her clipboard. “We believe it was the mental trauma of the separation, coupled with his weakened state, and physical injuries from the fight, that caused his current state. External stimuli have failed to wake him, I’m afraid we don’t know if he will wake up at all.”
The revelation meant little to Reiver. He had been visiting his father the last few days, although for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Maybe he just wanted to make sure that it was all over.
In the meantime, life was moving on, the farm was being rebuilt at a record pace thanks to Twilight and her friends helping out while Big Mac and Applejack recovered. Burned fields were ploughed and replanted, toppled trees cleared and the wood stored, they had even managed, somehow, to persuade Applejack to only take on light duties, as she stubbornly refused to rest.
Reiver stepped forward to the bed, Apple Bloom sticking by his side as he took a moment to examine the emaciated body of one he had feared and fought most of his life.
"Can he hear me?”
“We don’t know,” replied Redheart. “But if there's anything you need to say to him, then go ahead.”
The colt took a deep breath, glancing at Apple Bloom as she laid a reassuring hoof on his shoulder, before turning back to his father.
"Scott, I hope you can hear this, because it’s been a long time coming. You’re not my father, you’ve been the worst example of a human being I’ve ever met. You ruined Mum’s life, you tried to ruin mine, and now you’ve almost killed the first real family I’ve ever had.”
He got closer to the bed and peered at his fathers sunken face, no response, not even a twitch.
“As of last night. I'm now Reiver Apple, the paperwork was rushed on account of you having been declared unsuitable as my parent."
The gaunt stallion remained unresponsive.
"Huh, thought if anything might wake you up it would have been that."
Still nothing.
"I've been given another chance,” continued Reiver. “A chance to be myself for once and not have you over my shoulder. A chance to not be alone and actually make friends and be part of a family again. Maybe you’ll recover and get another chance, but it won't be with me."
He stepped back from the bed.
"You're going to trial once you're well enough, you’ll finally have to face some consequences for your actions. I hope it makes you realise the type of person you've been."
With that Reiver, and his new sister, rejoined the waiting Apples, then along with Luna and Nurse Redheart left the motionless stallion all alone.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“I will keep you apprised of any developments in his condition, should I believe he intends to come after you again,” explained Redheart.
“Thanks Nurse,” replied Granny Smith, adjusting her ice pack. “Whoo, I shouldn’t have gotten into that fight, I’m not a young mare anymore.”
“I wouldn’t say that Granny,” countered Reiver “I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you for protecting me like that.”
“Yer welcome sonny, or is grandsonny now?” chuckled the Apple matriarch.
“Your reckless actions aside, I expect you all to keep an eye on those injuries,” admonished Redheart, “Plenty of rest for Big Mac and Applejack is to stay on light duties until the bruising has passed, and I mean it young mare.”
That last statement was coupled with a hard stare at the farmer, who could only smile nervously.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she doesn't overdo it again,” said Apple Bloom.
“And I will make doubly sure of that,” supported Reiver.
“Been family for a day and you're already turning against me,” stated Applejack in mock surprise, which got a chuckle out of the assembled ponies.
As they reached the exit, Redheart excused herself, muttering something about how this report was going to be such a headache. As they left Ponyville General, Reiver took a deep breath and sighed heavily, like a great burden was lifted from his shoulders.
"You alright partner?" asked Applejack.
"Yes," he replied. "Yes I think I am, finally."
"That's good to hear, but if y'all have anything you want to talk about I'll always be willing to listen, and so is Big Mac."
“Eeyup,” replied the stallion, smiling down at the colt.
Reiver smiled back up at them.
"Thanks Guys."
"Anytime Sugarcube, come along now, let's get back home."
“In that case, I shall depart as well,” spoke Princess Luna. “My sister will need a full account of these events and their implications, especially now Discord has a student of his own.”
Bedlam had thankfully survived his encounter with Anarchy, but he’d been severely injured. His first letter had surprised everypony when a paper swan flew into the farmhouse and unfolded itself on Reivers breakfast. Since then, Bedlam had been keeping them apprised of his recovery, especially since it was apparently the first time a draconequus had ever been hurt to such a degree.
With a final farewell the Lunar Princess, ignited her horn and disappeared in a flash of starlight.
The Apples began making their way back to Sweet Apple Acres. Thankfully the day was pleasant, cool but not cold and the sun was shining down on the rebuilding work going on around Ponyville. Cleanup had been swift and most of the debris was already loaded up for disposal or reclamation.
“So,” said Apple Bloom, turning to Reiver. “Looking forward to School?”
Despite recent events, Cheeilee had concluded Reiver was at a level where he could begin school in the fall, giving them the news not long after Scotts defeat.
Reiver moaned at his sister's question.
“Really thought I had escaped that particular hell years ago. It’s never easy being constantly alone at school, although Cheerilee has been a big help with my maths. I’ve always been terrible with numbers.”
“That's because she’s a great teacher,” cheerfully replied the filly. “And you’ll have me, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo with you in class so you won’t be alone.”
"Huh, I guess not," he mused, a small smile splitting his features. “How do you feel sharing a class with your new big brother?”
"I actually think we’re the same age," she rebuffed, gently cuffing him with her hoof.
"Technically, I'm older than you," he countered.
"Not in pony years," she teased back.
The pair laughed as they bantered back and forth Sweet Apple Acres soon coming into view.
Scaffolding was plainly visible around the house and barn, along with Twilight directing her friends and several construction ponies from a wide table.
"Fluttershy, make sure those saplings are taken to the orchards and planted, Rainbow Dash, lift those timbers to the roof and Pinkie Pie, put down the jackhammer!"
The pink pony in question was bouncing towards the approaching Apples on the out of control piece of equipment. Applejack quickly responded by whipping out her lasso and yanking the pink pony off before the runaway tool crashed into a tree.
Twilight sighed.
"Sorry about that."
"Yeah, that thing got all shaky and I lost control," apologised Pinkie Pie.
"It's alright sugarcube,” comforted Applejack, wincing as her bruises flared from the action. “Although I think y'all might be better with another job."
Pinkie's mane deflated a bit, then sprang up as she was hit with inspiration.
"That's right! Everypony will be hungry and thirsty, I need to make some snacks!"
And she was off like a shot into the farmhouse, where the clattering of cookware followed suit.
The ponies chuckled.
"She is so random," commented Reiver.
"Eeyup," supported Big Mac.
"How were things at the hospital?" asked Twilight.
"They were, ok," stated Reiver. "I don't know if he heard anything, but I'm done with him for good."
"Best thing to do really," came a voice from above. "Should have done it sooner."
They looked up to see its owner, a heavily bandaged Bedlam, floating uneasily next to Discord.
"I tried to keep him in bed," explained the Spirit of Chaos. "But he insisted on seeing you in person at least once."
Reiver smiled.
"Glad you did," he replied. "How are you doing?"
"Getting there," responded Bedlam, wobbling a little. "I can float a bit and almost snap my fingers again. It's going to be a while though."
"Indeed," replied another Discord, dressed like a doctor. "Which is why you must return to bed post-haste. Lovely seeing you all."
"Get well soon Bedlam," waved Reiver, as the spirits of chaos vanished with a pop.
"Those two will be nothing but trouble," muttered Twilight.
"Fluttershy will keep them from misbehaving Twi," observed Applejack. "She's practically got Discord wrapped around her hoof, Bedlam won’t be…too much of a problem."
“Famous last words,” muttered Apple Bloom, elicting a giggle from Reiver.
They headed towards the farmhouse, where Reiver and Apple Bloom split from the group when he caught sight of the remaining Cutie Mark Crusaders, with power tools.
"Reiver!" they cheered, galloping over to greet him.
"Hi girls," he greeted.
"How was the hospital?"
Their faces fell a little, as he explained he'd cut ties with his father.
"Good riddance if you ask me," commented Scootaloo.
"Yeah, that guy was the worst," supported Sweetie Belle.
"I'll probably have to testify at his trial eventually," said Reiver. "But for now, we don't have to worry about him."
"I know, look what he did to the farm!" pointed out Apple Bloom, indicating the scaffold around the house and barn.
"Speaking of that, what were you three doing with those power tools?" queried Reiver.
"Trying for our Construction Cutie Marks!" cheered Sweetie Belle, passing him a hard hat.
"Yeah, Applejack says we can work on the barn doors," supported Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom chuckled as Reiver looked at them warily, the crusaders with power tools was a worrying combination.
"Don't worry, we're not going to be careless,” she soothed, placing a hard hat on Reivers head. “This is our home, and the girls know how important it is, besides, Big Mac will be supervising."
Reiver looked at them again, before sighing in resignation.
"Just don't destroy my room please."
"But, you don’t live in the barn?"
"In my experience, you'll find a way, somehow."
"You heard him girls, careful as a mouse in a cornfield," supported Apple Bloom, plonking on her own hard hat.
Reiver smiled as they chatted about what a construction cutie mark would look like, what their next crusade will be or what happened at school today. It made him feel at ease, seeing his new friends, his new family working together to rebuild what Scott had almost destroyed. Nothing would phase them, or him, as he made use of this second chance.
And he would make the best use of it, as he straightened his hard hat to follow the girls he began whistling a tune as he walked towards his new life, happy.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- my_little_medic · 55k words · 800 29 · 15k views
- Gunther the Green · 99k words · 1,420 58 · 23k views
- tom117z · 113k words · 966 36 · 14k views
- Seeking Dusk · 73k words · 416 17 · 7.9k views
- Autum Breeze · 128k words · 1,905 146 · 33k views
- PingSquirrel · 114k words · 1,363 44 · 17k views
- TornadoBlitz · 42k words · 1,405 97 · 23k views
- Gambit Prawn · 347k words · 1,001 115 · 23k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
668 users online
894,378 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Welp, on one hand I hate to see it go, but on the other, time for a binge read! All in all, I really enjoyed this, 10/10.
Mark it completed if this is done.
Hopefully his father will see the light and come to regret all he could have had but for his selfish pride.
Itnwould be a fine end but would love a sequel
It's nice to see the ending finally dude, even if it feels like it was slightly incomplete, but I guess it covered all that was needed, great job dude. This had been a story that I loved for a very long time and I am happy to say that I am proud of having done the cover art for the story. I wish you well dude on your future projects.
Honestly, I think this is a very satisfying conclusion. Well done.
Oh dear gods
I’m sure Scott’s lawyer could argue that the evil entity that was purged was the cause of his rampage, and due to past precedent of forgiving criminals who have done far worse, such as Discord and Starlight, that he could be reformed.
But I doubt that’s the kind of story you want to write.
This was a solid conclusion, and for reference, the bang was the fight. This chapter just needed to wrap up the main plot, indicate where the characters will go from here, and leave the reader with a strong concluding line, all of which it did well. I won't lie and say it's the greatest thing ever, but it was a good story overall. Considering you went in with no plan, that's a particularly impressive accomplishment because unplanned stories almost always collapse under their own weight and wind up abandoned.
As for the path forward, you could certainly revise this story and/or write some post-story content, but in all honesty I think you're better off leaving it be. The conclusion leaves no need for a sequel so you'd just be forcing it unless there's some other story you really want to tell, and you'll grow more if you take the lessons learned from this forward into a new fic you can plan properly instead of getting locked in a rewrite death spiral. That said, if you really don't want to leave these characters behind, the best compromise might be a series of loosely connected post-story one-shots which can largely stand on their own and don't need to worry about major plots.
P.S. This story is currently marked as incomplete, so you should probably fix that.
Solid ending. Is this the final chapter? It still is tagged as incomplete.
A surprisingly smooth transition from battle aftermath to story ending. You'd be surprised by how many stories out there (MLP or not) have endings that are either a bit rough, stilted, abrupt, or (in at least two cases I've seen) so poorly half-assed when the rest of the story was amazingly done that it makes you question just how it could've happened.
And with how this story actually does end, I can already hear them singing "Raise This Barn" while they get to work.
Congratulations on finishing the story. It was a good ending.
It is always nice to have a story reach its ending. This was a nice ending and in think even if he were to ever regain consciousness Allen would be in his own personal hell because he will be almost completely an invalid. It makes me wonder what type of Cutie Mark Revier will get.
You’ve accomplished the most difficult part of any writing project: getting all the way to the end. As hard and long a road as it was, you’ve done what not-enough fan fiction writers can claim. No matter what, no one will ever be able to take that accomplishment away from you. Remember that, brother! Well done. /)
Good story! Is there going to be an epilogue?
Also hope to see more Bedlam
11574603
For sure, and after 10 years no less! That's a remarkable feat for any author, and on here it's almost unheard of.
i like this chapter i brings every thing to a amazing ending.
11447426
Mc does have a part time job that they like and pays the bills. Dad just didn't like because it wasn't an important job like his job. One where you become someone important. And even if you have to spend time away from family for work do your best to connect whenever you get the chance.
Woo, ten years... TEN YEARS. I'm glad I was able to follow this from start to finish. And extra points for a nice bow on the end there. It's been said better so I'll just add my own happy thoughts here with a little regret on endings. Putting on the rose-tinted glasses as I remember the "good ol' times"...
Pobre Scott, el tipo se mata trabajando para la familia, pero tiene un hijo desagradecido y debilucho, la historia de Arthur es lo que esperarías de un victimista, ambigüedad pura, culpando al padre de destruir su mundo perfecto, mientras olvida quien los mantiene con su esfuerzo solo para quejarse de que no estuvo presente en su familia, y en los inconvenientes de una vida dura más para su padre que para ellos, cada vez que veo este tipo de historias, siento desprecio por estos protagonistas que tienen el privilegio de lloriquear por pendejadas de este estilo, sin ponerse en el lugar de su padre, Arthur de hecho es un blandengue fracasado, espero que el autor no se halla auto insertado, por que es de vergüenza ajena
11649494
Already read both of these lmao
11574193
If I were Scott, I’d better call Saul.
I almost didn't leave a comment at the end of this story, because the ending was just kind of mid to me - really after the Bedlam & Anarchy showdown, followed by Big Mac being allowed to go all Rock Lee, everything after it just felt kind of...there. Don't get me wrong, the mane six all contributing their own skills to the fight was a cool touch - I laughed when Rarity literally embroidered the guy to the ground, that was a nice touch. That being said, the story isn't about Bedlam, the mane six, or even Big Mac (even if he is an awesome big brother/ father figure). No, the real problem I have, is that we spend this entire story getting to know Reiver, caring about him, and then when we get to the climax, he spends most of the last three chapters 'off screen', only acting as a support character in the final-final confrontation with a very warped version of his father, that's all but gone by that point. I don't know, maybe if there was a moment where his words actually had Scott realize his humanity and struggle against Anarchy, before being blasted by the Elements of Harmony? As it stands now, I hope Scott never wakes up, it would be kinder that way. He's not a villain I love to hate, I just hate him. He's kind of an unrepentant piece of trash.
If I can offer any constructive criticism to a potential rewrite, I'd say that the inclusion of new draconequus hurt the story in the manner they were presented - they drew away the climax from the MC, onto them, which makes sense given what they are. That said, this story was principally about Reiver fitting into a new world, and I think schoolyard bullies are more his speed than apocalyptic spirits of chaos. We were on the cusp of not only him getting his proverbial hooves under him, with a second childhood, but the princesses learning of his presence. I hope this doesn't come across as too rambling, but I was left struggling HOW to respond to the ending of this story in a constructive manner. I really wanted to give you more than, "It was good."