Twilight's Truth
Twilight yawned as she descended the stairs to the library floor. After a long night of research and study, she felt the pleasant exhaustion of progress. Her research into the Everfree Forest and the strange weather they had been experiencing lately was finally bearing fruit. She just needed to write up her findings, and then she could give her full report to Princess Celestia.
Her analysis of the readings she had taken indicated there was definitely a correlation between the massive build-up of wild magic currently taking place within the Everfree forest and the unusually cold weather that Ponyville was experiencing. As there was nothing to indicate anything within the forest was the cause, it backed up her suspicions that an outside force was responsible.
It was some nights ago that she had her breakthrough. While staring at the stars through her window, she realised that several were out of their normal alignment. After confirming this with her star charts and penning a short letter to Princess Luna (Spike had not been pleased about that), she now knew that the planets were shifting into a rare alignment. With such events known to affect magical locations and artefacts in sometimes extreme ways, she believed that the wild magic build-up and strange weather were the result of this occurrence.
She was curious to see if previous events had similar effects on Equestria’s weather and was going to go back over her journals and books to give her some idea how to prepare for what was to come. Her instruments showed that the ambient magic was still increasing, and that, if this continued, they might end up with a Storm of Magic on their hooves.
Yawning again, she made her way into the kitchen and fired up the percolator, rewarding herself minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee that she sipped gratefully. Returning to the library, she prepared to start work for the day. She needed to order some new books, and a few older ones had to be sent off for repair. This inevitably meant a mountain of paperwork, but she was nothing if not efficient, having already sorted the various forms into the appropriate piles. Overall, she predicted it would take about ten minutes to have them completed, after which she could get back to examining the artefacts recovered from the forest. She was especially keen to try and communicate with Siri once again.
Passing by a line of bookshelves, she gave them a cursory glance, only to completely stop in her tracks. The middle shelves closest to her were coated in thick, black ooze that was running down from about halfway up one of the library’s larger bookcases. It coated everything underneath right down to the floor.
As Twilight looked in dawning horror at the mess of ruined books, she spied the source of the ooze and immediately recognised it as the teleportation manual she had put away a few days earlier. Using her magic to extract it from the shelf with a disgusting squelch, she stared as the black liquid seeped out from between its pages, splatting on the floor in thick globules. Examining the book up close, she tentatively sniffed it for any sort of aroma and immediately recognised the familiar smell.
“Ink?” she questioned, before doing the only thing that came to mind.
“SPIKE!”
In seconds, the young drake stumbled out the bedroom and down the stairs, still wrapped in his blanket. He might have untangled himself given more time, but he had heard that yell often enough to know what it meant. Twilight was about to have one of her ‘little moments.’
“I’m here, Twilight. Are we out of parchment and quills again?”
“No, but have you seen this?” she replied, indicating the book.
Finally extricating himself from the blankets, Spike looked up at the book, his eyes widening in surprise. His gaze was then drawn up the shelf to where the ink was oozing down to the floor.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” replied Twilight. “I came downstairs after a long night of research to discover this book was leaking ink down the shelves. At least a dozen others have got to be ruined by this; we have to find out what happened. Was this somepony’s idea of a prank? Some kind of joke? Because if it is then It’s. Not. Funny!”
Spike swallowed nervously. Twilight was liable to go into full freak out mode at the sight of so much destroyed knowledge. He had to choose his next words carefully.
“Twilight,” he replied, “we can worry about whether this is somepony’s idea of a joke later. Right now, we need to clean this up before it permanently marks the shelves and ruins any more books.”
The idea of more ruined books was enough to make Twilight pause. Raising a hoof to her chest, she took a deep breath, stretching it out as she exhaled. Spike recognised it as the calming technique that Princess Cadance had taught her.
“You feeling better?” he asked nervously.
“A little,” she replied. “Sorry, Spike. I know I can overreact to situations like this sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” he replied sceptically.
“Okay, maybe more than that,” she said sheepishly.
“Just, think before you act, okay?” said Spike.
Reassuring Spike that was exactly what she would do, Twilight gingerly pulled the book open with her magic to look for signs of a prank, maybe an ink pouch or some kind of spell that had made the text run. Unfortunately, there was nothing inside the ruined pages, and even her detection spell turned up nothing that suggested foul play.
She thought back to see if she could remember anything relevant from the last few days that might indicate what had happened. She remembered that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been leaving the library the same day she found the book on the floor. While she liked to think they were well behaved fillies, she was also aware of the amount of accidental trouble they got into with their ‘crusading.’ Perhaps this book was the result of one such crusade.
“Spike, what were the Cutie Mark Crusaders doing here the other day?”
“They were doing some research.They wanted to get Time Travel Cutie Marks this time,” replied Spike. He had retrieved a mop and bucket as well as a variety of cleaning supplies while Twilight was examining the book.
“Time Travel?” she repeated nervously.
“Yeah, they wanted to look up things they might see.”
“Spike, do you think this could be a side effect?” she suggested, gesturing at the black mess. “What if they managed to break the fabric of reality? This could be the beginning of something catastrophic! What if the walls start to melt as time fold inwards and we are all dragged into a dark oblivion!” She waved her hooves wildly in panic.
“TWILIGHT!” snapped Spike. “You of all ponies should know they can’t actually time travel without Star Swirl's spell. I suppose they could do something like enlist Discord, but he’s currently off surfing in the Gallopagos.”
“…really?”
“Yes, Fluttershy mentioned it yesterday when she returned a book on grooming.”
While Spike set about cleaning up the ink, Twilight was forced to concede his point. As much trouble as Applebloom and her friends could get into at times, even they couldn’t do something like time travel without Star Swirl’s coveted spell or help from the Spirit of Chaos.
With her mind at ease for the moment, she began using her magic to encase the ink-stained books in bubbles so she could pull them free without creating any more mess. With the two of them working together, it only took a few minutes to clean the shelves and dispose of the ruined books. Once that was done, Twilight went upstairs to collect the forms she needed to order replacement books. Meanwhile, Spike was left to put away the cleaning supplies. He had just finished stacking them neatly when her voice called down to him.
“Spike, have you seen the wooden box from the crash site?”
“Isn’t it with the rest of the artefacts?” he replied, heading upstairs.
“No, it’s not.”
As he entered Twilight’s room, Spike’s gaze moved over to the nearby table, where Twilight had the artefacts all laid out neatly so she could properly observe and catalogue them according to her own system. He could see the book, Siri, the coins and the bottle of plant extract. But the box was nowhere to be found.
“I thought I had it with the other artefacts,” she said. “Could you please help me see if it fell out somewhere?”
She started levitating the furniture with her magic as she searched for the wayward artefact, with Spike checking among her books and other equipment. However, what started as a slow and methodical search grew increasingly frantic as it expanded from Twilight’s room to the library floor and even the basement.
“It’s not here! What if somepony opens it? We don’t know what’s inside!”
“TWILIGHT!” snapped Spike for the second time that morning. “Calm down! We don’t want another ‘Smarty Pants’ incident!”
The mere mention of the infamous moment forced its way through the haze of panic. Twilight took a calming breath.
“Okay, if the box is not here,” she said, “where is the last place we saw it?”
She thought back. When she had initially secured the artefacts in her room she had not been paying full attention, as her research into the Everfree Forest was taking up much of her time. In fact, the last time she could say for certain she had seen the box was when they had been at Sweet Apple Acres.
“I must have left it at Applejack’s when she asked us to look after Reiver.”
“That was days ago,” replied Spike. “Wouldn’t she have found it by now?”
“Maybe not. Between Reiver and the sudden frost, she’s probably rushed off her hooves. Even with her family lending a hoof, she might not have noticed something that small. I’m going to head over and take a look. If it is there, let’s hope Apple Bloom didn’t find it first.”
Preparing a teleport spell, Twilight stepped into a clear part of the library, and disappeared with a flash of lavender light.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Reiver was working through some exercises for Cheerilee when he heard raised voices from downstairs. Curious, he slipped quietly into the corridor and snuck to the top of the staircase. He immediately recognised the voices of Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, the latter trying to calm her friend.
“Twilight, I swear I’ve not found anything since y’all were here last.”
“Are you sure? It’s only a small wooden box; you might have picked it up and forgotten about it.”
“I thought we would have more time,” Reiver muttered.
“You and me both, mate,” replied Bedlam as he appeared along the opposite wall. “So, what are we gonna do?”
“I said I would explain on my terms when she found out,” sighed Reiver. “I’m not quite sure how to do this.”
“Well, if you need me, I’m going to hide until this blows over.”
“What?! You said we were in this together!”
“I know, but that was before I realised I have a secret pocket dimension. See ya!”
With that, he vanished in a swirl of colour, leaving Reiver alone and angrily cursing the strange creature. As he listened to the back and forth between the two ponies downstairs, his mind raced through as many excuses as he could think of.
“I could always lie. Tell her I didn’t know what it was, that might work… No. I’ve put this off as long as possible and I can’t do it any longer.”
His ears pricked at the sound of hoofsteps as Applejack’s voice faded. She had probably gone into the kitchen. If he was going to make a move, it would have to be now.
Taking a deep breath, he descended to the living room. Twilight was seated at the coffee table, doing a breathing exercise. He had to get her away from Applejack, somewhere they wouldn’t be disturbed.
“Twilight?” he said, faking a yawn. “What’s going on? I heard voices.”
“Reiver?” she replied, surprised at his sudden appearance. “I’m sorry, did we wake you?”
“Is that Reiver?” asked Applejack from the kitchen.
“Yeah Applejack, it’s me.”
“Sorry we disturbed you. I’m just making some drinks; y’all want anything?”
“No thanks,” he replied.
“So, what were you yelling about?” he asked Twilight.
“I’ve lost something,” she told him. “I think I left it here when I came over with Spike.”
“Huh…” he said, pretending to think.
“You might have seen it,” she continued. “It’s a small wooden box-”
“-with symbols and funny writing on it?” he finished.
“You’ve seen it? Do you know where it is?!”
“It’s upstairs-” Reiver didn’t even have time to finish as Twilight bolted up the staircase.
“-in my room…”
“I take it you found what she was after?” asked Applejack as she returned with a tray of drinks.
“Uh, yeah. She kinda ran off before I could finish speaking.”
“You better get after her. She sometimes gets a mite obsessed over things like this.”
“I noticed.”
Ascending the stairs, Reiver hoped that he hadn’t just sent Twilight into a full-on freak out. Reaching the top, he found her wildly pulling towels out of the linen cupboard with her magic.
“Uh, Twilight?” he said cautiously. “It’s not in there. If you come to my room, I’ll get it for you.”
Anxious to retrieve what could possibly be a dangerous artefact, Twilight followed him into his room. She noticed the workbooks from Cheerilee laid out on the floor, along with several sheets of paper. They showed his shaky hoofwriting had started to improve.
The door clicked shut behind her, and she turned to face the colt. He had sat down in front of it, and she noticed that he was taking deep breaths, as if to keep himself in a state of calm.
“Reiver?” she asked, her anxiety over the missing box briefly forgotten. “Are you alright?”
“…No,” he replied quietly. “I’m scared, Twilight.”
“Scared? Why?”
“Because you’re the most powerful unicorn in existence, and I don’t know how you’re going to react when I tell you this.”
He produced the wooden box from his jacket pocket.
“You didn’t lose it, Twilight. I stole it from you.”
“What?” she exclaimed. “Why? You have no idea what this is! It could be dangerous! Why on Equestria would you steal it?”
“It’s all I’ve got left of my mum!”
Her mind screeched to a halt.
“She gave this to me the day before she died,” he continued. “I should have known something was wrong; she never parted from this thing under any circumstances. I should have said something, suspected something. But I didn’t…I could have saved her… if I had known.”
He blinked away his tears and took a deep breath.
“I lost it…while I was in the forest. When I got a glimpse of it that day you were over, I had to have it back. The writing is not some kind of curse or spell. It’s a language called Latin and it means ‘Virtue Alone Ennobles.’”
Twilight was silent as the gears of her mind started to turn. Reiver had just claimed the box was his. More than that in fact, that it was the last memento he had of his mother. But she had found it inside the wrecked vehicle. Its contents were alien to her and Equestria as a whole. From the signs at the crash site, she had estimated it to have been abandoned for at least a month, as vegetation was starting to reclaim the area around it.
She recalled when she saw the state of Reiver’s body during his collapse. Nurse Redheart had her fill out a report for his file, and she had estimated he must have been living rough for at least one month to reach that state of malnourishment. Reiver had also never fully stated where he was originally from. She had thought it was because he was a runaway who didn’t want to go back to his neglectful father, but now…
Reiver had been sitting quietly while she thought, watching as she made the connections. It was clear he had her interest. However, there was still that element of doubt in her mind that had to be overcome. He just had to think of how to do it.
Thankfully, she did it for him. Twilight knew that wild magic saturated everything at the crash site. The vehicle, artefacts and even the clearing had all absorbed it to some degree. If Reiver had been present, then he would show signs of it as well. Lighting her horn, she cast a detection spell.
At the sight of Twilight’s horn igniting, Reiver braced himself for the worst- only to be surprised when nothing happened, at least visibly. To Twilight, the box and Reiver both glowed with wild magic, the colt even more so than she had expected.
“You…” she said, finally seeing him for what he really was. “You were in that vehicle?”
“Yes. It’s called a car, and I was driving it.”
“How? You’re barely older than Apple Bloom.”
“Something happened to me when I arrived,” he replied. “I don’t know what it was. But the last thing I remember is hitting a tree and then waking up like this.”
“But… why hide?”
“Would you have believed a colt if he ran up to you and said he was an alien from another world?” he replied.
“…probably,” she said with a blush, to which Reiver raised a sceptical eyebrow.
“So, why are you telling me this now?”
“I knew you would notice that the box was gone, which meant I could use any search you undertook to take you somewhere private and tell you the truth on my own terms. If you found out some other way, then it could lead to all sorts of complications that would end with you hooking me up to some machine in your basement.”
“I would never do that,” she protested. Reiver gave her a suspicious look, knowing full well she had said machine in her basement.
“At least, not for long…” she relented. “So… how did you get to Equestria?”
“I… honestly don’t know,” he said, sighing. “I was caught in some kind of storm. It literally sucked my car off the road and into the sky. I remember falling and tumbling over and over in this weird rainbow of colours before slamming into that blasted tree.”
Twilight dearly wished she had her notepad and quill. Here she was, actually talking to a real live alien from another world. The opportunity to learn so much had her listening to Reiver with rapt attention.
“Twilight, I want to offer you a deal,” he continued. “I will answer any and all questions about the objects you have from my car and about my world. In return, you must keep the truth about me secret from everypony. Even Princess Celestia. Please, I don’t want to become some freak in a lab or hospital for ponies to poke and prod.” He shuddered a little at the last part. “You saved my life, Twilight. I trust you. Please don’t make me regret it.”
Twilight thought for a moment. The idea of learning about an alien world had her tingling with excitement, but keeping it from Princess Celestia made her pause. Something like this was groundbreaking and deserved her attention. But Reiver had been slow to trust anypony up until his collapse, and if she told anypony, there was a great risk of breaking that trust. She remembered the state he had been in when they had first met. If he ran off again, there was the possibility that something serious could happen to him, something he might not survive.
Then there was Applejack. She had been so afraid for his life she had galloped across Ponyville in the middle of the night to get help. She had insisted to Nurse Redheart that she be the one to take care of him. Big Macintosh had told Twilight that she was always asking about how Reiver was doing when she was in the fields, and how she wished she could spend more time getting to know him after their first conversation. It was obvious that she cared for Reiver like her own kin.
Finally, there was also her own involvement. She had helped when he was sick and continued to look after him when Applejack requested it. The colt was rapidly becoming part of their lives, and she found herself caring about him and his fate. If keeping him safe meant she had to keep him a secret from her mentor, then so be it.
“Alright,” she replied. “I’ll keep your secret. But you have to answer me one thing. Does Applejack know about you?”
“No… just the Cutie Mark Crusaders-”
“What?!” she exclaimed. “How could those girls know?”
“Apple Bloom found out by accident,” he protested. “I could only get her to be quiet if I brought the other Crusaders on board. But getting back on topic… do we have a deal?”
“Fine,” muttered Twilight, clearly sore that the Crusaders knew the truth before she did.
“Thank you,” he replied.
“Just don’t tell them anything else before me.”
“Can do,” he said with a smile.
“Good. Now how about you join Applejack and me for some drinks. Then you can tell me how to properly operate Siri.”
Reiver smiled in amusement as Twilight left. If she thought Siri was impressive, he would definitely 'wow' her with the other apps he had installed.
“Well, that went well.” Bedlam’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“Sometimes I wonder if you just show up for key events in my life,” he sighed.
“Listen… thanks for not mentioning me.”
“She will have to know about you eventually,” he replied. “But you never crossed my mind during the conversation. In hindsight, it might have made my story seem outlandish.”
“Yeah, because being an alien from another world in a fairy tale land of cartoon horses and magical princesses wasn’t that strange to begin with.”
Reiver just laughed.
“This is Ponyville,” he said. “For them, this is classed as normal.”
With that, he headed after Twilight.
“Wish I could apologise for what I did just now,” muttered Bedlam. “There was a reason why I didn’t cross your mind.”
As the strange creature spoke, he was unaware that his eyes were glowing bright yellow- the same yellow that Reiver’s had been right before his collapse.
“After all, a little insurance is always worth it.”
I want to thank my editors Feo Takahari and Cantankerous who had me going over this chapter with a fine toothed comb. Some areas were revised and re-written and I apologise if it appears to cut off but this was how I had it planned and I think you have all waited long enough for this. As always, enjoy, comment, give any constructive criticisms that you have. 
Next Chapter: Lets talk Earth.
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Is...is it back?
He finally told somepony? RealityCheck will be pleased.
That could have gone worse. The reveal was in private, he kept her from frazzling out completely, and there wasn't much damage control to run.
Bedlam's agenda, though, is a mite concerning. From what we have seen, he doesn't have to hide from Twilight if he's already shown himself to the Terrible Trio. What is he hiding?
Well, I hope Bedlam isn't evil
Reiver has returned!
Yay!
I honestly forgot what this story was about, but after reading three to five words in the description, it all came back to me. LOL glad to see this back!
Also...
If it's the same speaker, then it should stay in one line.
Putting it on another line/paragraph usually means it's another character talking already, but in that quote it was still the same speaker, which is kinda confusing at times and makes me reread it again just to make sense of the scene. :/
All in all, great chapter~
6041869
While you are technically correct, it's not an uncommon practice to separate out part of the dialogue like that in order to give it emphasis, and make it stand out on its own. Especially if you're also emphasizing a pause between the two parts. It's generally accepted as an exception to the rule.
looking forward to more
stayclassy
Well that's what happens when forces beyond our knowledge piggyback ride your body as a vessel.
I don't recall getting sent this chapter...
I wonder when Pinkie Pie will have her spotlight in the story. She still has to throw Reiver a "Welcome to Ponyville" Party!
I saw the update in my feed, and didn't recognize the story.
Then i re-read the summary page, and suddenly said out loud, "Oooh, this is the story with Bedlam!"
I enjoyed reading this latest chapter.
You miss spelled Artifact 3 times in this chapter just to let you know.
great chapter again, hope for more development next time
6041220 Indeed I am. "Couldn't spit it out" is a terrible trope.
Though his reveal sorta needs a touch more drama. A dramatic pause. A gasp. "No, that's impossible!" and a clap of lightning, Dun dun DUNNN.... or something, right before Twilight acquiesces.
She's pretty fast to totally believe him, all told...though I suspect a hair of skepticism and plans to try and persuade him to reveal everything to Celestia, eventually. But at least she isn't carrying a twenty ton Idiot Ball like in "Oh to be Old Again." The protagonist in that one told her and the mane six everything, presented evidence INCLUDING detailed records of their lives from the show, and Dimwit Spadoinkle completely rejected it and spun an explanation twenty times as ridiculous out of whole cloth (involving an imaginary foal-molesting cult of magical superspies) rather than believe him or even investigate his claims. THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING TWILIGHT SPARKLE STUPID.
I figured that this chapter would be one of the most difficult to write. But you managed to pull the reveal off very well.
I have so much love for this story it hurts.
Yay, back on track! Now let's hope it won't be months until the next chapter
But then again, don't force it.
So, Twilight knows. Let's see her nerdgasming over all the tech she found
6041303 He's basically not even one-year-old with rapidly increasing power. He don't have any moral compass. Bedlam already tried to take over Reiver's body by brute force, but it caused bad consequences, so he was quieted for some time. Now he found out that he can manipulate others for his own agenda without any consequences, and we don't know how things will escalate from that. He badly need a Morality Pet to hammer into his head what's good and what's bad, or he won't end up well.
First of all- its awesome to see this update.
Second- now to reread the whole thing again so I can remember what's happening. curse you tiny attention span!
that was fun.
Why did this have to update only three days after I finished watching Gravity Falls? Part of me is associating Bedlam with Bill Cipher! >_<
I often find this in other stories. If it's one piece of criticism I can give, it would be often I can't always tell who is speaking. Or If I can, I feel left out, like the pony speaking isn't really doing anything. There's nothing wrong with a character, in a story, speaking with just quotes and nothing else. But do it too much and the story can seem a tad bare I guess?
Anyway, still looking forward to more. And didn't expect that ending
6042817 British spelling. It tripped me up as well. (Though it's still less confusing than editing for a Canadian.)
oh
6046493
wow
I'm worried about how this story will manage to hold my attention going forward. It seems to me the major conflict of the story which has been what's kept me interested so far was just unceremoniously resolved. The remaining plot threads need to step up to show me what else the story has to offer now that my original reason for taking interest in it is gone.
Edit: I suppose it is nice that the plot did advance, which is what I had been complaining about for the last few chapters.
Still love this story!
6047991 Did you notice at the end though? Bedlam is starting to manipulate Reiver. It seems there might be some conflict between bedlam and Reiver in the future. I know that if something was messing with my head I would want that shit out fast.
And who knows there might be something in my head messing with me right now, making me type things I don't potato clostrophobe tarantula, Hairless freckles smorgasbord petunia Glasgow glass cow baby shotgun seppuku M-m-mayonnaise soot pimple liset humdinger-didly-do-dah....french fries want to..... 
I want you to know that this story took precedence over the two hours of free time I have in the day.
Shame on you for ensnaring me with this tale.
More please!
Okay, I finally got five minutes to read and reply to you guys. Overall I am touched at the reception this chapter and the story recives, especially as I've never really done anything like this before.
6041180 Yes, yes it is!
6041303 What indeed...
6041621 6041676 Yay!
6042372 Likewise
6042637 Sorry dude,
I dropped the ball on this one. I hope your aren't too mad at me.
6042689 One Pinkie Pie chapter coming up, but you may have to wait a bit first.
6042740 Thanks dude!
6042944 I had a great deal of help with this one and a few of the conversations went through several re-writes until we were all satisfied.
6043135 She's going to be in heaven over what Reiver has to say.
6043196 No he wont MUHAHAHAHAHA!
6043600 You may be closer than you think with that idea.
6047991 I ask that you stay with the story as we still have some conflict in that only four ponies know about Reivers true nature, Theres also Bedlams growing powers and the unconscious pony in the hospital to consider.
6054927 More to come, hopefully a bit quicker this time.
6053732 Conflict will be coming I assure you sir, Bedlam has one secret that even he isnt aware of...yet.
6055142 wait what
6055142
Oooooohh...
Moar please c:
Oh please please please! Another chapter soon. I just got done and I want to know how this ends!!! I love hearing AJ be maternal, she is the best after all!
Will Reiver stay and become an Apple?
Will his "father" reappear?
I hope he isn't but is Bedlam evil?
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!
6055142 Nah, man. It happens more than you would think. I ain't mad.
6061076
Bedlam isn't evil...
...yet
6070389 that's good.
I do hope you're continuing this. It has its rough points, but it's been thoroughly engaging.
6135876 I am continuing this, writing is just a bit difficult around work and coursework.
Alright, fine! I'll put your story in my tracking list! Happy now?! Now back to the reading...
I already want Bedlam gone. If he has power over Reiver to affect his thought process and prevent ideas popping up, that right there is going to cause a fight in the future. What is bedlam hiding? Is he going to turn into a maniac obsessed with taking over the world, or is going to try to take over both Equestria and the human world where he will be recognized as a living being with vast amounts of power? How are we going to beat him if he can control our minds?! *gasp!* Illuminati confirmed!!!
... What the fuck am I saying? Just keep writing!
Ok, so how I feel about this whole story. I like how you didnt make main character instantly friend with Main6. Instead they have to earn his trust. You are taking your time with story/character development. Its slow for my taste but still better than story being rushed. Cant wait for more.
6294024 Thanks very much. I know its a bit slow, but friendships arent always a case of 'Hi, lets be friends', 'Okay'.
6294042 friendship is complicated. the few friends i have (by choice) have been injured by me in some way or another. this was before they were my friends. i make friends by hurting them.
I hope he doesn´t need to go back to save Equestria or something like that, I hoped for him to stay there in the end.
This, and that he had to tell someone about himself had to happen in this story sooner or later I guess, and at this point it isn´t as bad as it could have been anymore, so good job I guess.
Kittens.
8662909
mittens
Wait, what part mentioned that he wasn't a pony to Twilight?