Writer. Editor. Reader. Reviewer. Gamer. Armchair mafia kingpin. Trans-dimensional yodeler. Cthulhu's unplanned 667th son. Grand High Muckymuck of the Mystic Order of the Defanged Gerbil.
Followers of Discord 2,749 stories ·3,184 members
Comedy4,739 stories ·1,292 members
Twilight's Library6,262 stories ·4,833 members
Good Grammar Directory1,980 stories ·633 members
The Princesses2,291 stories ·914 members
Comedy, Inc.2,133 stories ·389 members
The Royal Guard 265 stories ·1,294 members
When Canterlot pays the price for one of Twilight Sparkle's greatest mistakes, hundreds of refugees from the ruined city are stranded in Ponyville. Can the princesses maintain order in the overcrowded town, or will the combination of clashing cultures, Discord's antics, the machinations of a criminal mastermind, and outrageously bad luck send it spiraling into chaos?
Edited by ZealousHeretic.
Cover art by IJAB.
Page generated in 0.203 seconds
Total duration
704 users online
794,967 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh god, this is awesome.
I'd know, too.
3266503
I hope you're not saying that my favorite sprite is just another piece of the pavement...
Unless you're sticking out a bit and everyone who walks by stubs their toe on you. That would be pretty awesome.
Possibly could that be one hundred and ten cornets close at hoof?
3266636
You, good sir, have won my respect.
That respect will be instantly withdrawn if I find out you're thinking of the Broderick version though.
3266081as is your profile pic
This is packed with stuff--plot points, jokes, characterization. Lots of good ideas here. Great material, but sometimes the presentation detracts from it. Sometimes you spell out the jokes, summarize things you don't need to summarize, use long sentences where short ones would do, or "tell don't show". For example:
Cover art: You could take any number of backgrounds--Canterlot, or the show-opening scene of the mane 6--and photoshop parasprite vectors from deviantart in front of it, getting larger as they come towards the viewer. Or you could ask the artist to use this, found here:
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/006/d/b/parasprite__the_by_friendshipocalypse-d4lh9p6.jpg
It's not really what the story's about, but it's striking and clickable. At least until you get something else.
A picture of angry high-class unicorns crowded into a Ponyville bar, staring indignantly at the food, might be better. You could probably commission it for $30-$50 from a deviantart artist, depending on the artist. More ponies = more expensive.
3271313
That's some great input. I'll make a few tweaks when I'm able and be a little more careful in my editing from now on. There's really no excuse for missing some of that.
Unfortunately, I'm out of town on an overnight trip and won't be home until tomorrow night. All I have is my phone til then.
I'll definitely take your advice regarding cover art.
Hah! Really glad that you mentioned this story, it was well worth the read. Discord is probably one of my favorite characters when he is done well, and done well he was. Slightly controlled, still chaotic, and generally happy and silly. It's the perfect blend to make a really interesting character.
The Blueblood scene was priceless. I always like Celestia when people portray her as someone who is just so tired of it all. She doesn't hate people, she's just been around the block so many times it is all very bland. That and Blueblood being an entitled prick, while Celestia lives in a damn library.
I'm keeping an eye on this, it is a fun story that I think will have a lot to offer in the future.
-Lumino
3266652 There was no Broderick version. That's just a nasty rumor started by renegade Kodan aliens, disgruntled that their armada was defeated by a kid in an experimental Starfighter.
3288715 Oho. Another Robert Preston film. Nicely done.
Trombones rule
Blue blood finding out he is poor can some please find a pic about that
http://pebblenator.deviantart.com/art/Parasprite-Token-1-327229127
If you wanted to use the art (or the whole template) feel free. I'd be willing to do a free piece of cover art for you, too, with the caveat that you get about what you pay for, especially in terms of promptness.
Also, Blueblood broke? Brilliant! And I've never heard Sarcastia before.
3292595 I'd be happy to take you up on that offer. I'd be much obliged if you come up with something a bit more fitting.
... yeaaa I can see it works in Equestria
Heh, there are times where this story reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
This is really funny
nope nope nothing can go wrong 
Cutie mark crusaders and Princess Luna
This is beautiful.
Another fun chapter. You are really beating on the 'Magic is Dangerous' cautionary tale. I wonder how it will come up again in the future?
Discord/RD prank wars? Sounds like a good time to me. :D
Also, I find the way you linked Luna up with the CMC oddly appropriate. It just sort of fell into place naturally, and I cannot wait to see where that little relation goes.
I think this is the most fun I have ever had reading a scene with Blueblood in the forefront. You really just have to love to hate the guy.
All in all, another excellent chapter. I eagerly await seeing more. :D
-Lumino
3295399
Yep, the wording on that had the wrong connotation. Hopefully it works better now.
3296940
As a big fan of Douglas Adams, I'll take that as a huge compliment.
3301365 3301391
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
3301443
Don't get too comfortable with your expectations. There are still some pieces which haven't entered the board yet.
3301885
I find that a little more appropriate when applied to Fluttershy's story. Watership Down, anyone?
3301921
The other lesson ‘Never delve into mysteries which are beyond your comprehension.’ isn´t exactly appealing to me, at least.
All our modern knowledge over the world was never gained by giving up and accepting the unknown was beyond our mind´s reach.
3302021
The story is presented as a fable, and fables often have messages which are irrelevant in modern times. It is intentionally written to sound like an archaic concept.
Don't give up, Fluttershy. Maybe they're in a flexible marriage. That's an awful lot of stallion for just one mare...
How long before the whole town itself goes up in flames?
I'd say, given the length of each episode....
10 MINUTES
3302074
Accepted. By the way, are you going to give Blueblood some character development or are are you merely give him the standard "conga humilliation" to our amusement
?
3303953 I think it's for the best that I withhold that information.
Saw the title, couldn't help myself.
3305864 It should not surprise you to hear that I was wearing a combustible lemon t-shirt when I thought of that.
Oh my lord, this is brilliant. You have set a fair number of chaotic threads that it can only end in disastor. Please give me a moment to savior the chaos.
Mmmmmm... numnumnumnumnum...Ah.
Let's see what we have here.
Really, Celestia, you're inflicting Blueblood on the the Apples?
What did they do to deserve that?
Ohh... looks like Rarity may have the beginnings of a sweatshop. Free employees!
And Twilight is stuck with the Princesses as roommates. Yeah.... that's gonna grow into an argument real quick. You may like them now, Twi, but living someone is a lot more stressful in small tree versus a castle.
Expect relief not to arrive for a while. Equestria's lack of quick mass communication is a problem.
Christ, and Pinkie broke the princesses. Let's hope the Crystal Empire gets their messages soon. There are so many ticking time-bombs in Ponyville right now, it's not even funny....
Okay fine. It is funny. It is very funny!
3301365
10 minutes, 10 minutes is all the time left for Ponyville.
This... is... brilliant.
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
3379371
Thanks for the approval. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
CUTIE MARK SKY DESIGNERS
all hell breaks lose nice knowing ponyville.
This is missing about 500 upvotes. Seriously, this is fucking brilliant.
3489580
Glad you're enjoying it. I'm also glad you waited til after I had finished my revisions on the first couple of chapters to read it. I cleaned up a lot of little issues earlier in preparation for the release of the new chapter. Unless something goes terribly wrong, it will be posted tomorrow.
I was so excited when I saw a favorite had updated.
Then I remembered I had seen this chapter already, and that made me sad.
Then I decided to read it again, and that made me happy again.
Like I said earlier, what I really like about this story is how everyone seems to be important to the story. Nopony seems tacked on or a diversion, we are just seeing all the lovely chaos that is building. I think it is funny how everything is coming towards a boiling point at once. One more full day of build up left, and then everything is going to explode in pandemonium 'Best Night Ever' style.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1295_u6QAK.gif
Keep up the awesome work;
-Lumino
3492647
Oh, I wouldn't count on another full day passing before all hell breaks loose.
Wow, I love how all these substories are developing. Celestia's arc is very interesting as is Rarity's. I wonder what Silk Satin's problem is. Must be jealousy of some sort.
Blueblood is about to get his butt kicked, and, Pinkie, this is a bad idea.
Angela's first mistake? Discussing the plan on screen.
3492786
Poor Angel has clearly never heard of the Unspoken Plan Guarantee.
3492720
It surprises me (in a good way) to hear that you're finding Celestia's arc particularly interesting at this point. I've dropped a few hints about where it's heading, but nothing solid yet.
Ok
for you have the full support of every pony already in town 
there will be no mercy
Rainbow Dash your doomed
Rarity GO GO GO GO GO GO DESTROY HER
Fluttershy just do what you normally do
Applejack win the war from Blueblood
Twilight take revenge on the war of pillows
and Pinkie Pie make the new ponies miserable driving them out of town
Lastly Luna use the full power of the fully armed and operational Cutie Mark Crusaders
3493418
Don't take anything for granted. There's a lot more chaos yet to be unleashed.
i just wanna see bluebloods but whooped
Still enjoying the hell out of this.