There Goes the Neighborhood

by Prak


When Life Gives You Lemons, You Can't Make Lemonade Because It Stole Your Sugar

Chapter 2

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Can’t Make Lemonade Because It Stole Your Sugar

It had all been going so well.

Space had been found for nearly all of the Canterlot refugees. Enough food had been secured to feed everypony in town. All of Equestria was being informed about the disaster, and aid would arrive soon. Nearly every box on Twilight’s checklist had a mark in it.

Then the howling started.

Suddenly, ponies were running and screaming, moving in every possible direction with no sense of logic or order to it at all. The half of them from Canterlot, she could understand—most had never heard a timberwolf before—but the Ponyville natives should all have known that wolves rarely left the Everfree Forest and never came into town.

Twilight’s cries for order were being ignored completely, lost among the din. I guess Princess Luna was right about me needing to learn the royal Canterlot voice. It sure would be useful now.

Is she the Princess of the Night or the Princess of I-Told-You-So? Twilight thought as Luna landed next to her, smirking arrogantly, and gave a wink. With an air of complete confidence, she threw her head back and belted out an anti-climactic royal Canterlot squawk.

As Luna slowly lowered her head and blood pumped into her cheeks, Twilight’s mouth hung agape. Her right eye tightened into a squint as the brow above it twitched. Locks of her mane redirected themselves skywards, launching upwards like spring-loaded flowers grasping at the sunlight. Awkward silence descended over them, and even the cacophony surrounding the two princesses had completely stopped reaching their ears. It was like being in a soundproof bubble made of disbelief and shame, penetrated only by an occasional panicked pony who would immediately stop screaming, bow respectfully, trot back outside the bubble, and pick up where they had left off.

Be still!

The bubble was shattered by Celestia’s shout. Upon her command, issued from the top of the town hall, everypony in town instantly stopped and fell into a deep, quivering bow, much like they had on the Nightmare Night when Luna had given the same command. Twilight went halfway down to the ground before catching herself, and even Luna reflexively bent her knees a bit.

With a single flap of her large wings, Celestia crossed the square and landed roughly in front of her sister and protégé. “Luna. Twilight. A timberwolf has emerged from the forest and is approaching the town. We must intercept it.”

“A timberwolf coming into town?” Twilight asked. “I’ve never seen that happen before.”

As Celestia took a step toward the howling shape in the distance, Twilight jumped forward to stop her. “Wait, Princess Celestia. I can return it to the forest easily enough. You’re needed here more than I am right now.”

After exchanging a brief, knowing glance with Luna, Celestia said, “Thank you, Twilight, but it isn’t that simple. This timberwolf has expanded its hunting grounds to Ponyville. Even if you return it to the forest, it may attack again.”

“Then you mean…”

“It must be destroyed,” Celestia said.

Luna displayed her agreement with a slow nod.

“I see,” Twilight said. “In that case, I guess I’ll stay out of your way, but I still want to go with you.”

Celestia nodded. “Of course. We must hurry, though. It will reach Ponyville at any moment.”

On their way out of town, Twilight noticed that the other ponies in town, including Applejack and Rarity—both surrounded by the groups they would be sheltering—had not risen from their prostrate positions. If not for the sound of their chattering teeth, she might have wondered if they were even alive.

Wow… I’m glad Luna was the one who got shunned and turned into a nightmare, Twilight thought. If it was Celestia, she probably would have won without a fight.

The buildings rushed by as they galloped through the town, finally coming to a halt at the edge of a field as the ravenous timberwolf ran across it. Twilight conjured a scroll and quill as the others stepped forward to challenge the beast.

The quill flashed across the paper as Celestia’s mane erupted, transforming from a soft solar breeze into a wild solar flare. From its depths, a broadsword emerged, glowing white from the heat. Luna, meanwhile, pulled a weapon of her own from her starry mane. It was much smaller than her sister’s sword with a darkened narrow blade, but Twilight’s gaze was mostly focused on a mysterious blue gleam along its edge. The fate of anything struck by the broadsword was obvious, so her notes reflected that the mysterious nature of the rapier made it seem far more threatening.

The timberwolf slowed to a walk as the princesses calmly approached it. The moment it stopped, the alicorns made their move, Celestia’s blade striking downward in a slashing motion as Luna’s stabbed forward.

The timberwolf performed a clumsy half-pirouette to dodge the broadsword and quickly sucked in its wooden gut to let the rapier slide by. As it stood on one hind leg in an awkward pose, the stunned princesses withdrew their weapons to their own sides. The wolf slowly lowered itself to all fours and took a few steps back.

“I think it knows it’s beaten. We should just let it go now,” Twilight said as she furiously scribbled.

Ignoring Twilight’s pleas for mercy, Celestia leapt forth into the fray with a furious battle cry. With a sickly squeak, Luna charged forth. Their swords cut an intricate path through the air, and although the wolf dodged every strike, they continued pushing it back and getting closer with every attack.

Finally, it stumbled, and the alicorns moved in for the kill. As both swords flashed down to strike its head, the timberwolf’s mouth opened so wide that its jaw fell to the ground, and it shouted in a shrill voice. “Waaaaaaiiiit!”

Both swords stopped centimeters short of their mark. Celestia’s was close enough to singe the wood of its neck. Suddenly, they heard the sound of a zipper, and the timberwolf collapsed to the ground in a flat heap. In its place stood a winded and panicked pink earth pony.

* * * * *

“Thanks, Twilight,” Pinkie said as her friend poured some water on a smoking patch of fur. “I thought I was a goner for a minute there. You have no idea how hard it is to talk in one of those things. I was like 'Mmmph' and 'Mrrrmmm,' and nopony could hear me, so I had to break off the handle that controls the mouth with my teeth, but pony teeth aren't good for cutting like a wolf's teeth, so I had to—”

Twilight and Celestia tried to tune out her rant, their ears flipping down and pressing hard against their skulls in an effort to keep her influence from infecting their brains. Luna had slightly more presence of mind and shoved a royal hoof into Pinkie's mouth. After a moment, she made the mistake of withdrawing it.

“Wow, I’ve had hooves in my mouth before, but that’s the first time I’ve ever had a silver shoe in there. It tastes pretty funny, kinda like a cupcake if you replaced all the flour with silver and instead of icing you put some silver sprinkles—”

Three hooves went into her mouth at once.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” Princess Celestia said, “we have some questions we need answered, so please refrain from talking about our shoes for now.” Receiving a nod in response, all three hooves withdrew.

“So Pinkie, I guess the obvious place to start would be what you were doing dressed up like a timberwolf,” Twilight said.

“Oh, that’s an easy one! I ran into some timberwolves on my way back from dropping the parasprites off in the forest and after running from them for a while, I thought to myself, ‘Why run when I can make friends?’ But then I realized that timberwolves don’t like ponies all that much, so I thought if they thought I was a timberwolf too, we could all be happy timberwolf friends together. So that’s why I put on the costume!”

Celestia unwisely decided to question her further. “May I ask why you were carrying a timberwolf costume around in the first place?”

“Of course, but I wasn’t carrying it. I have costumes like that stashed all over Ponyville in case of timberwolf emergencies or Nightmare Night costume shortage emergencies.”

“But you weren’t in Ponyville.”

“Well, duh. That's when you need them the most!”

After a pregnant pause, Twilight glanced over to her mentor and found her eyes to be vacant, staring unblinkingly into the distance. Luna's were the same. “Okay then. I think I’ll just take Pinkie into town and let you—”

Try to put your minds back together, she finished mentally.

“Erm, let you sort everything out in peace,” she finished verbally.

As Twilight walked away with her friend, she glanced back at the senior figures of Equestrian royalty, both sitting on their haunches with their ears twitching, but otherwise unmoving. After turning back toward town, she heard the dull thump of a pony’s body hitting the ground.

While she hurried to catch up with Pinkie, an old cautionary tale of misused magic came to her mind.

* * * * *

Second Sight enjoyed a good life in Canterlot. With her talent for temporal scrying, she had earned a reputation as one of the city’s foremost seers and quite likely its only authentic one. Still, she had never been called before the princess to give a reading, as many of her peers had been.

The indignity weighed heavily upon her mind as the passing months became years. Eventually, it became unbearable, and she decided to ask why she had never been called upon. Her petition was received, and she soon stood before the glory of the princess.

“Little pony,” said the princess, “why do you feel I have wronged you?”

“Your majesty, ruler of Equestria and the heavens beyond its sky, I beseech you. Tell me why you will not call upon me as you do the other seers?”

“Second Sight, I do know of you and your talent, but I do not truly wish to know what the future holds. I have not called upon you, because you alone would be capable of seeing the truth of me, which no mortal can comprehend.”

“I do not understand, your majesty,” she wailed.

The princess was sympathetic and wrapped a comforting wing around her. “Little pony, return now to your home, and know that you are special in my eyes,” she said. Unbeknownst to the princess, a single feather of down fell from her wing and caught in Second Sight’s tail.

Though she returned home, Second Sight was not satisfied with the answer she had been given. Even if the princess did not want to know her own future, she still wanted to perform the reading. Focusing on the feather she found in her tail, she gazed into the distant future.

Nopony knows what she saw, for when her neighbors came to answer her scream, all they found was a white feather atop a pile of ashes.

Young Unicorn, remember the tale of Second Sight, and never forget that delving into mysteries which are beyond your comprehension only leads to tragedy.

* * * * *

Pinkie’s voice drew Twilight back to the present. “Ooh, look Twilight, a new pony! Two new ponies! No, three! Four! Three hundred and twenty-two!”

Twilight's eye gave an involuntary twitch as Pinkie figured out the exact number of ponies that had been stranded in Ponyville after only seeing a fraction of them.


So I can see thirty-three of them right now, Pinkie mused. No new pegasi in town, so there’s probably not any staying at any of the cloud houses either. Gotta account for that in the sampling and adjust the population table. Margin of error is five. And that was two—no, three—neck twitches. There should definitely be…

“Three hundred and twenty-two!”

Pinkie hummed quietly to herself as she decided the best way to celebrate the arrival of so many new potential friends. There’s no way to do it at Sugarcube Corner. Town Hall might be big enough, but the punch bowl would get too crowded. Aha! I know!

“A block party!”

“Huh?” Twilight replied.

“This many new ponies calls for a block party, Twilight. Now I just need to pick the right place to set everything up.”

“Pinkie, I’m really not sure that—”

“Be quiet for a minute. I’m trying to aim.”

Though she raised an eyebrow at the party cannon that had suddenly appeared in front of Pinkie, Twilight did shut up and let her work.

That won’t do. Too many unicorn horns there. All the streamers would get hung on them. How about over here? No, that won’t work. Ponies will need extra walking space in the market. Maybe over by the barber shop? Nope, there’s a quartet singing there. Huh… I’m pretty sure that’s Flim and Flam singing lead and baritone. Oh well, as long as they’re not causing Applejack any trouble, it’s fine.

With a growl, Pinkie shoved the party cannon away.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“I can’t set up a party anywhere. There’s just too many ponies in the way,” Pinkie said, sighing.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be able to set something up once things calm down a bit.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Twilight. I’ll just try to be patient.”


“Discord! What the hay did you do to my house?”

“Hm? Do you not like it, Dashie?” the draconequus said innocently.

“Of course not! Change it back,” Rainbow yelled, her exhaustion having vanished in an instant. She was pretty sure what she was feeling was a surge of adrenaline, but she might also have picked up a sugar high just from being in the presence of so much cotton candy.

To her surprise, he huffed and said, “Oh, fine.” One snap of a talon later, her house was back to normal. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep the chocolate waterfall, though?”

If the collision of clouds made sounds, the slam of the front door would have been loud enough to make Discord’s horns spin.


Feeling cheated out of a perfectly good gag, Discord spun his horns anyway. Regardless, teasing Rainbow Dash was as fun as he had hoped, and with her wild temper, he could amuse himself for days. All he had to do was avoid crossing any of the lines that would draw the princesses’ attention.


Despite hurrying home after the meeting, the castle fauna had already beaten Fluttershy there. The caretaker was unloading their crates and cages from a large cart, but it wasn’t the same stallion that she had seen a couple of years ago at that disastrous gala. He was a fairly young pegasus, large with a sleek, aerodynamic build and a cutie mark of a red bird standing atop a cloud.

“Oh my,” she said. “I had no idea you would be here so soon.”

“Was I too fast?” he asked with a voice that was as soft and gentle as a summer breeze in a meadow. “I’m terribly sorry about that. I came straight here as soon as Princess Twilight gave me the directions.”

His soulful blue eyes locked onto hers apologetically, his head slightly declined in shame for his unintentional transgression. Despite the embarrassing blood rushing to her cheeks, she maintained the eye contact.

“Oh, no sir. It’s quite all right. Thank you for bringing them,” she said, forcing herself not to mumble.

“It’s my pleasure. I love these little guys too much to just leave them in Canterlot.”

A stray cloud that had been sheltering them from the sun’s rays blew past them and the midday sun shone down on him directly. His cerulean coat shimmered in the light like waves on a perfect sea, and his yellow mane shone like gold. Her reply caught in her throat as she stared at his radiant form.

“Are you okay, Miss Fluttershy?”

She shook her head to reboot her brain and said, “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m sure I’ll come to love them just as much as you, mister…?”

“Freefeather.” The name brought images to her mind of birds migrating in huge, beautiful flocks.

“That’s a wonderful name. So will you be here often to check on them, Mr. Freefeather?”

“I’m afraid not. Princess Celestia asked for pegasi to head to Cloudsdale.”

“Well then, will you be returning to pick them up when it’s time for them to go home?”

“I’m sure I will. Thank you again for your kindness. I know taking in all these animals is a huge imposition.”

“Oh, it really isn’t much trouble at all. I love taking care of animals."

Freefeather gave a soft chuckle at that. She didn’t know what was funny, but his laughter sounded like beautiful holiday bells to her ears. Shaking his head, he told her, “I wish my wife was more like you. She doesn’t even…”

He kept talking for a little while longer, but Fluttershy didn’t hear a single word of it. Around her, shadows grew longer and animals prodded impatiently at her legs. Eventually, she noticed that the stallion had left.

“Ponyfeathers.”


I know I’ve seen her before.

Blueblood was certain she had never shared his bed. Even if he was too drunk to realize what a hayseed she was, he would still never do that with an earth pony. Seeing the mare at a society function was extremely unlikely. The most likely possibility was that she was somepony’s servant. He almost wished he had bothered to listen to her name when she introduced herself.

In any case, she didn’t seem overly thrilled by his presence. That was nothing new, though. His lessers often had delusions about their own importance, and when faced with a pony who truly mattered, they tended to be resentful. As long as she stayed quiet, he wouldn’t bother telling her employer about her poor attitude.

Wherever she was taking him—and by extension, the other nine ponies around him—it was far from the center of town. The other ponies were a mixed bunch. While five were proper unicorns, three of the others were earth ponies, obviously servants in his aunt’s employ. He would never stoop to employing their kind. The last was a beige pegasus mare with a sky blue mane and a broken wing. Pathetic, he thought. She's too useless to even get out of everypony else’s way like Aunt Celestia ordered those featherbrains to do.

As they topped a small hill, a forest came into view. Everywhere he looked, there were trees, rows and rows of them as far as the eye could see. The madmare had led them straight to the borders of the Everfree Forest!

“What are you thinking?” he yelled, startling all the others and bringing the group to a blessed halt. “Don’t you realize where you’re taking us, you foalish simpleton?”

The orange mare spun around to face him, causing him to recoil. It wasn’t that he was afraid of her, though. He simply didn’t want dust from her mane to sully his pristine coat.

“What in tarnation are you talking about? This is exactly where Princess Celestia told me to bring y’all.”

“As if I am to believe my aunt would ever banish her own nephew to the Everfree,” he huffed.

She snickered. He glared. She chuckled. He narrowed his eyes. She guffawed.

“Enough of this foolishness!” he barked. “I demand you take us to someplace civilized.”

A middle-aged gray unicorn stepped forward to speak while the obviously deranged dirt pony comported herself. “My lord, if I may?”

Blueblood nodded. At least the stallion showed proper respect.

The stallion continued, “I do not believe this is a forest, my lord. It appears to be an orchard. She is probably leading us to the plantation’s manor house.”

At that, the mare rolled over on her back, kicking her legs madly into the air and laughing harder than before. Clearly, the very idea of dignity was a foreign concept to her. She had probably found his accent humorous. In the prince’s experience, which he was thankful he had little to none of, such yokels couldn’t properly comprehend civilized speaking patterns.

After she finally picked herself up off the ground and dusted herself off a little, she continued leading them to what would hopefully be a manor of sufficient size to serve his needs. Of course, with the orange lunatic trailing a cloud of dirt behind her now, Blueblood moved to the back of the group, using the bodies of the others to shield his royal personage from the diseases in it.

After a couple more minutes of walking down the disgustingly dirty dirt road, they finally passed the fence and entered the orchard. The filthy servant mare—whose master was now certain to hear of her ill behavior—stopped on the other side of the arch.

“Welcome, y’all, to Sweet Apple Acres!”


Rainbow Dash’s well-earned nap was rudely interrupted as a tortoise zigged when it should have zagged, collided with her chest, and knocked the breath out of her. As she gasped for air, her pet affectionately nuzzled against her fur, oblivious to the murder in her eyes.

With a long groan, she sat up and pushed herself off the bed.

“Darn it, Tank! What are you doing flying around in my bedroom?”

As she moved, Tank took to the air again and flew out the window, breaking a picture frame and knocking over a stack of Daring Do novels on his way out. “I swear,” she said to no one in particular, “if he didn’t need that thing to walk on clouds, I’d never let him wear it inside.”

“I wonder what time it is,” she said, glancing instinctively at a blank spot on her wall where a clock once hung. The clock itself resided in a nearby trash can, sporting smashed glass and a large indentation in the shape of a tortoise shell. Groaning dramatically again, she walked to her window to check the sun’s position.

The sun was slipping further on its downward course, and the length of the shadow cast from her neighbor’s house said it was about four o’clock in the afternoon. She turned to walk back to her bed, intent on trying to sleep for another half hour.

Wait a minute. I don’t have any neighbors! There shouldn’t be another cloud house on this side of Ponyville.

She rushed back to the window to confirm a suspicion. Not only was there a house next to hers, but it was an exact mirror image made from cotton candy instead of clouds. Chocolate milk cascaded from it like her own home’s rainbows, vanishing before reaching the ground. Pinkie Pie had solved that problem with a pogo stick, taking a large slurp of it with every bounce.

Back at her altitude, Discord stepped into view, wearing a neon-green feathered robe and holding a book.

“Hello again, neighbor!” he shouted. “It’s a lovely day today, and I suppose I have you to thank for it.”

She would have slammed the curtains shut, but the book in his paw caught her attention. She stared in silence for a few seconds.

“Oh, you probably haven’t seen this yet. I borrowed Celestia’s advance copy of Daring Do and the Crimson Coffin.

Her eyes opened slightly wider than they were ever meant to as desire for the book collided against her disdain for the draconequus. Discord, of course, noticed.

“If you want to read it after I’m done, I’d be happy to pass it on to you, seeing as I’m such a good neighbor.”

Desire scored a knockout blow as disdain was momentarily distracted.

“You mean it? Hay yeah, I want to read it!”

“I just know you’ll love it,” he said. “It’s easily the best one yet. I never would have predicted that it was Ahuizotl’s mother in the coffin.”


The setup was flawless. The delivery, impeccable. The payoff, better than he ever dared to dream. The look on Rainbow Dash’s face cycled between confusion, rage, sorrow, shame—probably at being fooled—and finally settled on something cold and focused. He had expected screaming, but what he got was much better.

“You realize this means war, right?”

Maintaining his innocent expression, Discord gave a confused shrug and walked away from the window, but the instant he was out of sight, his lips curled upwards in a grin that threatened to bisect his face.

My dear Rainbow Dash, I wouldn’t have it any other way.


“You must be joking,” one of the unicorns said after a long moment of disbelieving silence.

“Nope. I ain’t joking at all,” Applejack replied. She could already see that Princess Celestia was right about this bunch. They really were too spoiled for their own good, so if the princess wanted to teach them a lesson, she’d be happy to help. “This here is the farmhouse. As you can see, it ain’t no fancy mansion like y’all were talking about.”

“You honestly expect us to sleep inside this… this hovel?” Blueblood said.

“Nuh uh. We’ve only got the one guest room, and it’s only right that the injured one sleeps there.” The wounded pegasus blanched at being singled out, but said nothing; not that it mattered, because Blueblood would have just shouted over her.

“Then where do you expect the rest of us to sleep?” he yelled.

“There,” Applejack said simply, pointing at the barn near the house. Two of the unicorns fainted, and even the earth ponies scowled at the thought. The pegasus stared at her hooves. “Don’t you worry none about room. We’ve got plenty of space in there for y’all, and we’ve got plenty of hay bales and extra sheets to sleep on. We even moved all the animals out to the fields.”

Blueblood stamped a hoof on the ground. “I refuse to accept this. My aunt Celestia promised me a place with adequate ventilation. I can smell that… that thing from here!”

“Huh. I guess that must be why the princess asked me to keep the barn doors open.”

As Blueblood stood in place with his jaw flapping noiselessly, Applejack spotted two of her family members coming out of the barn. The large red stallion cantered across the yard while the yellow filly galloped beside him, both coming to a stop next to her.

“Y’all, I’d like to introduce you to my family. This here is my brother, McIntosh, but everypony calls him Big Mac. The little one is my sister, Apple Bloom.”

“Howdy, y’all,” Apple Bloom said. “Applejack, we finished fixing up the barn, so can I go to Scootaloo’s house now?”

“Sure thing, sugarcube, but you be on your best behavior.”

“You got it, sis!”

As Apple Bloom galloped away, Applejack returned her attention to her guests. “You’ll be glad to hear that Apple Bloom is spending the next few days with a friend. Since they’re both fillies, they can share a room easy enough. That gives us an extra room to work with. It ain’t really proper to give anypony who ain’t injured special treatment, so I’ll be having y’all take turns sleeping in the extra room.

“Now then, Granny Smith has been working on some vittles to tide y’all over ‘til supper, seein' as you ain’t had nothing to eat all day.”

The promise of food instantly shattered their will to continue arguing. As she and Mac walked toward the house, the others fell in behind them with crestfallen, but famished faces.


“Soup’s on, young’uns!” the ancient dirt pony barked.

Of course, her idea of soup was nothing of the sort. Soup was meant to be liquid, not a fried hunk of bread, presumably wrapped around apples. It looked revolting. The ponies at the table who actually mattered—that is to say, the unicorns—all blanched at the sight of the ‘fritters’ she placed in front of them before hobbling away to join her family members on the other side of the room.

On the other hoof, it was food, no matter how dreadful it looked, and he didn’t seem likely to get anything better. After seeing one of the other unicorns chance a nibble, Blueblood magically lifted his own apple fritter and took a hesitant bite to quell the protests from his empty stomach. The taste was much like he expected: greasy, like common carnival fare.

Carnival fare… no. It couldn’t be. The taste was exactly the same as he remembered, and he was sure it would take just as many glasses of champagne to get rid of it. It was no wonder the orange mare with the hat looked familiar.

“You!” he screeched, pointing a shaky hoof at the devil who had just attempted to poison his royal palate for a second time.

“Come again?” she said. Her beady eyes narrowed and focused on him.

“You’re the one from the gala! The one selling the poisoned apples!”

The other ponies immediately stopped eating. A hunk of apple fell from the mouth of an earth pony, proving that even the ones from Canterlot carried uncouthness as a genetic trait.

“Now wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute! Y’all might not have liked my food, but calling it poison is just plain rude.”

While the mare and the crone she called Granny were only staring at the prince, her brother had stepped forward. He leaned in threateningly, but no dirt pony, no matter how large and powerful, could be allowed to intimidate royalty. No matter how easily those enormous hooves could drive his horn into his skull like a railroad spike…

“Calling that filth food is rude,” Blueblood said, keeping a wary eye on the red thug.

“I like it.”

All eyes turned to the pegasus, who had resumed eating. Noticing the silence, she paused again and looked up. “What? It tastes good.”

Her ridiculous logic seemed to be enough for the other hornless oafs at the table, who all dug into their snacks immediately. The unicorns, to their credit, at least waited to make sure none of their lessers keeled over before continuing to eat.

Blueblood’s refusal to follow their example lasted only as long as his stomach was quiet. Having been teased by the single bite he swallowed earlier, it betrayed him with a loud rumble. With a long sigh, he picked up the fritter again and started nibbling around the edges.

Oh well. What’s one more indignity?


“Come on out, little friend.”

The brown rabbit hopped out of the little cage and scampered off to the part of the yard where its fellow castle fauna had gathered. Ever since the first bird cage opened, Fluttershy’s new guests had been isolating themselves. To make matters worse, her own animals were being just as reluctant to approach their new housemates.

All the cages and crates had been opened now. Birds were perched in segregated trees, staring at their counterparts. Squirrels, rabbits, dogs and cats, wallabies, raccoons, and even the butterflies were keeping their distance. It was like watching two nervous, awkward armies facing off on a field of battle.

“Don’t you want to make some new friends?” she said as she took a few slow steps toward the newcomers. They responded by shuffling backwards.

Just what I was afraid of…

With her ears drooping and tail dragging on the ground, the pegasus turned around and began walking toward her old friends.

No! she thought suddenly. I’m not giving up. Even if they don’t like me, those animals need a place to stay and somepony to take care of them. Twilight trusted me with this, so I won’t let her down.

Rising back up to her usual posture of only slightly slouching, she turned around again to face the critters she knew were destined to be her friends by the end of the day.

“I know you all must be hungry after a long day of traveling. It’s time now for everyone to eat.” That got their attention. Almost all of them perked up at that announcement.

“How about we start with all the birdies. Wait right here while I get some nice seeds for you.” A chorus of beautiful chirrups was all the answer she needed to hear.

The fastest way to earn an animal’s trust is to feed it. This has to work. It just has to.

The shed with the food was locked, as usual, so it took her a few minutes to properly grip the key in her teeth and line it up to the padlock. Her own little friends knew to expect the delay, but the castle fauna wouldn’t, so she tried to hurry, which inevitably slowed her down. Some things just shouldn’t be rushed, and gripping a tiny metal key in your mouth while trying to line it up with an equally tiny hole was one of them.

When she finally came back with a bag of bird seed on her back, the situation seemed pretty much the same as before, but her own animals were much more defensively postured while the others seemed more confident.

She trotted past them, giving the newcomers a wide berth, before spreading some seed on a stump for the larger birds and adding food to the feeders hanging from the trees for the smaller ones.

None of the animals immediately moved for the food. Their eyes were all locked on one another, waiting to see what would happen, forcing Fluttershy to take the initiative again.

Looking to her own birds, she said, “Now let’s let the birdies from the castle eat first. They’ve had a very long day, and I’m sure they’re very hungry. There’s plenty of food for everyone.”

After a few awkward moments, a blue jay nervously flitted from the tree and landed on one of the feeders. When Fluttershy’s critters made no move, the rest of the castle birds slowly moved toward the food.

“You see? We’re all friends here, and we all respect one another. We’ll give you all the space you want while you eat,” Fluttershy said, confident that she had broken ground. With her step a little livelier, she went back into the house to get some greens, totally oblivious to the danger building behind her.


He knew that look. The yellow bird pony was sad, and he just couldn’t allow it to continue. The white rabbit she had dubbed Angel Bunny was apprehensive of such a large group of new creatures, of course, but the bird pony was too preoccupied to realize what the problem was.

One new animal at the cottage was fine. Two was acceptable. Three got a little iffy, but bringing in a bunch of them at once—especially ones that knew each other—was an invitation for trouble. They didn’t integrate. They didn’t want to make new friends because they didn’t need to. They already had plenty.

Still, someone needed to break the ice, and for the sake of his bird pony, Angel decided to be the one to do it. She had just left the scene, going to get the food she had promised the birds. That was good. She would only get in the way.

After taking a deep breath, he hopped forward. He moved slowly, but openly, not making any defensive moves. In the center of the space between the two groups, he came to a stop and sat down, waiting for the move to be answered.

Soon enough, the brown rabbit that had been in the last cage moved forward. It was a clever move. None of the others had been paying attention to her, so she probably wasn’t very popular where she came from. This bold action would elevate her to a position of respect, possibly even leadership.

As the brown rabbit came to a stop in front of him, Angel slowly stood up again and approached his fellow bunny. Neither made any aggressive moves as they closed the remaining distance until they were close enough to touch one another, both standing at their full two-legged height.

Then the brown one stomped on his foot.

Stunned by the attack, he lifted his throbbing foot and immediately lost his balance. He collapsed to the ground as the brown intruder smugly hopped back to her friends, all of whom looked at her with admiration as she stood amongst them. When they looked at him, their eyes held only mockery.

The white rabbit limped back to its friends, all of whom were now aware of the stakes. There could be no peace. The invaders had to be subjugated or driven out, and perhaps most importantly, the kind-hearted bird pony couldn’t find out about it.


‘Good food makes good moods,’ Applejack’s mother would say. While she was confident she could get along with the earth ponies staying on her farm and she particularly liked the pegasus, she also knew that Blueblood was going to be trouble. She had been prepared for it. What she hadn’t been prepared for was the other unicorns falling in line with him so readily. With any luck, a good home-cooked meal would win them over, and that called for the best apples.

By the time she reached her destination at the outskirts of the orchard, the sun was dipping low in its arc, casting an orange glow over the trees. An old wooden fence stood nearby, serving as their only protection from any dangerous monsters that might step out of the darkness of the Everfree Forest beyond. Behind her, three ponies came to a stop.

“Okay y’all,” she said to her volunteers, two of the earth ponies—a mare and a stallion—and the pegasus, who had introduced themselves as Touching Prose, Hammer Spark, and Cirrus Edge. “Here’s the plan. The apples out here are the biggest and sweetest we grow, but being so close to the forest, we gotta buck ‘em before it starts getting dark.

“Now since we’re short on time, I’ll be doing all the bucking. Your job is to get all the apples into the baskets once I knock ‘em down. Remember to keep your eyes on everypony else, and don’t wander off.”

Applejack turned her back to one of the trees and rooted her forelegs securely, ready to knock down the ripe fruit at any moment, but she hesitated. Cirrus noticed and asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing to worry about, sugarcube. I just realized that I’ve never actually bucked these trees before. Big Mac always does it while I set the baskets and watch the forest.”

“So why didn’t you bring him along?”

“And leave that no-account prince without somepony to watch him? Nuh uh.”

“And why did you ask me to come?”

Applejack finally bucked the tree, sending a shower of apples tumbling onto the soft grass. The other three ponies started picking them up, grabbing the stems in their teeth, while she moved on to the next tree to get the rest of what Granny Smith needed for supper.

“I just reckoned that you wouldn’t want to be cooped up in there with all those fancy-schmancy snobs any more than you have to be. I know they’re giving you a hard time about that wing.”

“True enough. Still, I don’t think giving me special treatment just because I’m hurt is going to help. I should be sleeping in the barn with the rest of them.”

“No way, no how, and I ain’t hearing any more talk about it.”

* * * * *

As the group passed the point where the fence started moving away from the forest, Applejack let out a long sigh and allowed her muscles to relax. To their left, the orchard looked the same as it did from any direction, but the scenery on the right was filling up with green hills instead of dark woods.

The bushel she carried hardly weighed her down, but with her muscles so taut, it had been bouncing more than normal and was making her back sore. Bringing up the rear, Hammer Spark was perfectly at home with his burden. “Compared to the stuff I carry at work, this is a breeze,” he had said. Of course, she knew his back would be just as sore if he had ever seen the things that lived in that Princess-forsaken forest.

They hadn’t walked far from the forest when they heard shouting from the other side of a small hill. The sounds were indistinct, but they were clearly pony voices, and they sounded angry. “Y’all wait here”—Applejack put down her apple basket—“and I’ll be right back after I see what’s going on.”

After taking a few steps back to get a running start, she leapt over the fence and continued galloping toward the source of the noise. Beyond the rise, twelve unicorns were gathered around a fallen tree, levitating saws and slowly stripping the timber of its branches. Two of Princess Celestia’s royal guards stood nearby, stoically guarding several more trees that had already been stripped bare. As she approached the guards, the raised voices of a dozen angry ponies assaulted her ears.

“Watch it! You almost hit me with that thing.”

“Don’t turn it yet!”

“I’m already cutting that one!”

“How about we all stop yelling?”

“How about you not yell at us about the yelling?”

“Do I have leaves in my mane? Somepony, get them out before they leave a stain!”

“Excuse me,” Applejack said to the guards as she approached, “but what’s going on over here? Y’all are making a heck of a ruckus.”

“Sorry for the disturbance, ma’am,” one of the guards stiffly replied. “As soon as these ponies have finished gathering their materials, we’ll be heading back to town. It shouldn’t take much longer.”

“Well, it’s far enough from the house that nopony should hear it, so I guess it doesn’t really matter none, but I’m a mite curious. Why do they need so many trees?”

“They’re building a boutique for their boss,” the other guard said.

“A boutique, huh? I don’t reckon it’ll get much business. Don’t they know we already have one of them in Ponyville?”

“Yes ma’am, but they say Ms. Satin intends to put that other store out of business.”


Another hour together, another crusade, another pint of tree sap to wash out of their manes. Things were going as well as could be expected for the trio of precocious fillies collectively known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Their latest scheme had ended in failure, much the same as all their previous attempts to find their cutie marks.

“Hey, Scootaloo, is the bathtub in your house big enough for all three of us to wash off together?” Sweetie Belle asked, brushing a sticky lock of mulberry hair away from her eye.

“Yeah, if you consider the backyard to be a bathtub,” Scootaloo said, glancing back momentarily at the wagon she was pulling behind her scooter.

“What do you mean by that?” Apple Bloom asked, paying no mind to Sweetie’s sputtering as she pulled the offending lock free from her hoof with her teeth, only to find it stuck to her muzzle.

“My mom won’t let us in the house until we wash most of this off with the hose.”

“Oh yeah,” Sweetie Belle said. “I forgot that your mom’s such a neat fr—”

“What the hay is going on over there?” Apple Bloom interrupted.

The road ahead was completely blocked. Ponies were lined up from one side of the street to the other, offering no passage for the fillies. Scootaloo came to a halt at the back of the throng and dismounted along with her fellow crusaders.

“Excuse me,” Apple Bloom said, poking the leg of a light green mare, “but what’s going on over here?”

Lyra Heartstrings turned around to face them. “Hi, girls! The princesses are about to lower the sun and raise the moon, and they decided to let everypony in town watch.”

“Ooh! Can we watch too?” Sweetie asked while hopping in place, trying to catch a glimpse of the alicorns, but barely even reaching the height of Lyra’s flank.

“The crowd’s pretty thick, but I’ll do my best.” Lyra turned around and nudged the stallion ahead of her. “Hey, there’s some foals back here wanting to watch. Can you help get them to the front?”

The stallion obliged, as did the ponies ahead of him. Progress to the front was slow, but steady as ponies made way for them, being careful not to touch their sap-covered coats and manes. Finally, they emerged into the front row, occupied completely by fillies and colts, and sat down to wait for the show to start.

The doors to the town hall opened and four ponies stepped out. They immediately recognized the three princesses, but the fourth was an older brown stallion wearing a suit coat whom they had never seen. A notepad and quill hovered in front of him, suspended by Princess Luna’s magic rather than his own. As they came to a stop in the center of the square, surrounded on all sides, but given ample room to move, the quill began scratching across the paper.

“Citizens of Ponyville and Canterlot,” he yelled, “as we begin this first night together, may we all remember the spirit of harmony that binds us.”

Princess Celestia spoke next after the quill’s movement stopped and the stallion fell silent. “Just as the sun and moon work together to preserve the balance of nature, we shall all work together in the face of this adversity to create a brighter future.” Her voice was much louder than the other had been, despite her conversational tone.

The bringers of day and night stepped forward and stood side by side, facing in opposite directions. Their horns both ignited and the sun slipped beyond one horizon, immediately replaced by the moon on the other.

As the glow faded from their horns, the ponies applauded, shaking the square with the force of their stomping hooves. With their display completed, Princesses Celestia and Twilight Sparkle teleported away, leaving Princess Luna in the square with her assistant.


“Princess, should we not be leaving also?”

‘No,’ Luna wrote in response. ‘Our My work is not complete until the stars have been arranged.’

“Of course, your majesty. Please take as long as you need.”

‘I shall do so, with or without thy consent.’

“My apologies. I meant no offense.”

Of course he meant no offense, she thought. That is never their intent, but it never stops them from sticking their twice bedamned hooves in their mouths regardless.

The crowd was already dispersing as she began placing the brightest stars, which remained constant every night for the sake of navigation. Once that was finished, the rest of the sky was a blank canvas waiting to be filled, but she did not immediately begin. Instead, she looked again at the departing crowd. Most were already gone, and none were staying to watch her artistry.

Perhaps I should just leave the sky barren tonight. Nopony is likely to notice anyway. As soon as the thought ran through her mind, she shook her head to clear it out. She had been down that road before, and it only ended in tears, loneliness, and red-hot rainbows.

As she was bringing her head back up to the sky, she spotted several small shapes, still sitting and watching her from the shadowed area between two street lamps. One of them looked familiar, but she needed a closer look in better light to be sure. Luna raised her hoof and beckoned to the three foals.

As she thought, one of them was little Scootaloo. A small smile played across her lips as the pegasus filly bounded over to her energetically, although her friends were more hesitant.

“Hi, Princess Luna!”

As the notepad in her telekinetic field moved to respond, her assistant tried to move along with it. Where did Tia find this foalish butler anyway? He has no common sense at all, and his voice is much too soft to properly address our subjects. Truly, he is the worst possible choice to fill the role.

The quill scratched out her reply to the filly. ‘Hello, Scootaloo. It is a pleasure to finally meet you outside of your dreams.’

“Huh? Why are you writing instead of talking?”

For the ninety-seventh time that day since she started counting, she pointed a hoof to her throat.

“You mean you can’t speak?” the little white unicorn said. A nod was given in reply.

“That’s awful,” said the third one, an earth pony with a cute ribbon in her hair.

“Indeed it is, children,” the butler said, rudely injecting himself into the conversation, “but if you will excuse us, the princess still has a matter that requires her attention, so please return to your domiciles.”

“Our what?” the yellow filly with the bow asked.

“Your homes. Houses. Places of residence,” he explained. The glare he was unknowingly receiving from the princess intensified with every syllable.

Scootaloo frowned at him. “What are you, a dictionary?"

Luna clenched her jaw tightly to keep from laughing out loud, but as the brown unicorn stammered indignantly, a muffled snicker slipped through. When it seemed he had finally found words to reply, she put a hoof out in front of him to cut him off.

The quill sprang to life again. ‘How would you like to help me design tonight’s night sky?’

“Would we ever!”

“We’d love to!”

“And maybe we’ll get our cutie marks in sky designing!”

Cutie Mark Crusaders sky designers! Yay!” they shouted in unison.

As Luna’s windswept mane returned to its usual shape, she became dimly aware that her jaw was hanging open. The butler had been knocked off his hooves by the concussive force of their cheer. As he got back to his hooves, the princess closed her mouth and turned her lips up into a smile as an idea came to mind. The smile quickly became a grin as the idea gave way to a plan.

The quill ran across the paper once more, and one final note floated back to her assistant.

'Thy services will no longer be required.'