Looking On the Bright Side Only Gets You Sunburned
Chapter 4
Looking On the Bright Side Only Gets You Sunburned
Unlike Twilight, Celestia never set an alarm clock. For centuries, she had awoken at exactly the right time to prepare for the dawn. It was as instinctive to her as breathing. Her internal clock was flawless.
Unfortunately, that clock didn’t make the trip to Ponyville with her. Instead, it was Twilight’s alarm clock that woke her up.
The sudden ringing noise snapped her out of dreamland and brought her consciousness crashing back into the bedroom on the top floor of the Golden Oak Library. Having never used an alarm clock before, the experience was unfamiliar to her, so she took the only rational course of action.
She vaporized it.
Twilight moaned from beneath her sheets and reached out at the bedside table with a hoof, but touched only air where the alarm clock should have been. As Celestia stood up, Twilight was in the process of curling up and going back to sleep.
Another mumbling voice called her attention back to the bed—kindly donated by one of the local shops—she had been sleeping on. Luna was sprawled out across the other half of it. A note was attached to the headboard above her. Celestia plucked it loose and pulled it in close to her bleary eyes to read it.
Sister,
I will be attending court, so I have gone to bed early. Lower the moon for me. Thanks!
Luna
Celestia sighed and left the bedroom. Her grogginess made the stairs a challenge, but she took her time going down them and soon found the kitchen.
“Now where’s the coffee,” she said quietly as her magic opened up all the cabinets at once. Various products levitated off the shelves and passed in front of her in a parade of questionable nutrition.
“Alfalfa jerky, hay chips, chocolate-coated salt nuggets… good heavens.”
Her unhealthy snack choices notwithstanding, Twilight did have quite a few proper dietary options as well. Thoughts of breakfast would have to wait until after the sunrise, however. The most important thing at the moment was coffee, so Celestia breathed a deep sigh of relief when a white bag labeled ‘coffee beans’ floated into sight.
That just left one little problem.
“Now how do I turn this into a drink?” Celestia asked no one in particular as she pulled a bean from the bag. While she contemplated the shape and smell of the bean, her magic reached out to a mug in one of the cabinets and brought it over to the sink. It clanked loudly against the metal surface when she misjudged the distance through her bleary eyes, but was soon positioned under the tap. Once it had been filled with water, she dropped the bean into it.
“So it’s not water soluble,” she said after watching it for a minute. “Oh, of course. Coffee is served hot. That must be how the bean dissolves.”
A small spray of solar magic brought the water to an instant boil, but even then, the bean refused to transform into liquid.
Celestia’s right eye twitched and her nostrils flared as she stared at the mug. “Fine, then. I’ll just make do without you today.”
Now, let’s see how long I have until it’s time to raise the sun. The moon is near the end of its orbit and has slowed to a speed of… Oh no.
The moon had stopped completely. It had already reached the end of its orbit and was waiting to be lowered. Meanwhile, the sun was waiting to be lifted. Her eyes darted around the room in search of a clock. The one hanging above the doorway confirmed her fear.
The sunrise was almost thirty minutes late.
One little mistake, and now they’re all going to hate you for it, the particularly unpleasant part of her internal voice told her.
She hurried to the door in the quickest canter she could manage within the library and charged out onto the street. The four guards on duty stood stoically in place even as they watched their princess—not even wearing her regalia—gallop in a circle, trying to get her bearings.
Once she found the moon, which was obscured by the town’s unremarkable skyline, she hastily yanked it down, then turned the opposite way and pulled the sun into the sky much more quickly and forcefully than normal.
As the light of the sun washed over her, the bleariness faded and she emerged into a state of full alertness, which carried the side effect of allowing her to notice that her stony-faced guards were watching her make a fool of herself. Still, she saved what face she could by standing tall and walking gracefully back to the door.
“Carry on,” she said as she stepped across the threshold.
Unlike certain other ponies who shall not be named, but who all happened to be residing in a library at that particular moment, Applejack never had a hard time waking up in the morning. Her eyes opened the moment the rooster crowed, and she was out of bed within seconds. Within the next few minutes, she managed to brush her teeth, shower, and groom her mane and tail.
“Mornin’, Granny,” she said as she walked into the dining room, where a second table had been brought in to accommodate the extra guests. She immediately went to work helping Granny Smith lay out the table settings for thirteen ponies. Bic McIntosh came in from the kitchen with a tray of apple flapjacks on his back and set it in the center of the table.
“Hoo-whee, Granny, those sure smell good. I can’t wait to dig in,” Applejack said. “I’m powerful hungry this morning for some reason.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said.
“Ain’t no surprise, seein’ as breakfast is late today,” Granny Smith said.
“Huh? What do you mean? It’s the same time we always eat.”
“Nope. Look at the time.”
Applejack’s gaze shifted upwards to the clock on the wall. Just as Granny said, it was half an hour later than usual.
“Consarnit! I’m gonna have me a little talk with that rooster. He ain’t gonna get away with slacking off on the job like that.”
“Simmer down, young’un. It weren’t his fault. Look out the window and see where the sun is.”
Applejack and Mac rushed over to the nearest east-facing window. The sun was visible between the fields and the barn, barely above the horizon.
Big Mac turned away from it first and spoke to Granny. “You mean the sun was half an hour late coming up today?”
“Eeyup,” Granny Smith said.
“Well, no sense worrying over it,” Applejack said. “We’d best get breakfast squared away and get started on our chores.”
* * * * *
Thirteen ponies sat at two tables: six unicorns at one, six earth ponies and an injured pegasus at the other. At the larger table, the conversation was lively and animated. The home’s owners asked questions about life in Canterlot and readily answered questions about farm life in return. Even Cirrus, reserved though she tended to be, had kept up an active role in the discussion.
Meanwhile, on the other table, the conversation consisted of low murmurs of discontentment. Prince Blueblood was poking at his stack of pancakes, occasionally taking a bite, wincing as though he had been punched in the face, and following it with a huge gulp of water, after which he would sneer at the drink, as though even that wasn’t good enough for him. The rest of the table mostly followed suit, although a few of the unicorns clearly enjoyed the food, despite their pretenses to the contrary.
After everypony had eaten their fill—or in Blueblood’s case, the bare minimum required to stop his stomach’s growling—the Apples quickly cleared away the plates and utensils, aided by Cirrus and a yellow earth pony mare named Garden Melody.
“Now y’all,” Applejack said as she walked back into the dining room with Cirrus and Garden, leaving Granny and Mac to wash and dry the dishes, “we got a lot to get done today, so we’d best get to it. I’ve made a list of who needs to do what today.
“Garden and Hammer will be working with Big McIntosh in the fields, bucking apples. Some unicorn magic might speed things up, but that’s Mac’s call. I’ll be taking a couple more volunteers into town to help me at the market since it should be busy today. Cirrus and Prose can help Granny around the house and everypony else can work on making the barn more comfortable. Any questions?”
While Blueblood gave an indignant huff—the various forms of which seemed to account for at least a third of his vocabulary—he didn’t actually say anything. None of the others decided to speak up either, so Applejack moved on. “All right then. Let’s get to it, everypony.”
Although the summer sun had gotten a late start on its daily ascent, the temperature was climbing quickly enough to make up for it. The morning dew and light haze of fog had already burned away by the time the road to the Ponyville schoolhouse came into use.
The road was busier than usual. In addition to the usual students, dozens of Canterlot ponies—parents and foals alike—walked the dirt path, much to the annoyance of a particular trio of local fillies who had been caught in the middle of the throng.
“I feel like I’m a pebble in a rockslide,” Apple Bloom said.
“I feel like a racer in a traffic jam,” Scootaloo said.
“I feel like a quarterback getting blitzed with no receivers open.”
The other two turned toward Sweetie Belle with raised eyebrows, slowing down momentarily before the prodding from the herd behind them forced them back up to speed.
“What?” Sweetie said.
“Since when are you into hoofball?” Scootaloo asked.
“I’m not. You try being around my dad all day and see if you don’t pick up a few things.”
The horde continued to trundle slowly down the road, eventually reaching the red building just as the bell rang for the first time.
“Good morning, everypony,” a familiar voice called out. “Please come this way.”
Cheerilee was waiting under a tree, calling out to every parent and foal who approached the doorway. As one, the herd turned and steered away from the building, then came to a stop. “Students to the front, please,” Cheerilee yelled, and the fillies found themselves being shuffled forward by dozens of forceful adult hooves. Soon, they stumbled out into the relative open, amidst the fillies and colts, over half of whom they didn’t know.
Not far away, Dinky, Twist, and Featherweight had huddled together and were talking amongst themselves. Unfortunately, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle found the path to their friends blocked by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who were already in the process of making new friends of their own. Twice as unfortunately, their arrival didn’t go unnoticed.
“Oh look, it’s the blank flanks,” Diamond Tiara said snidely to a chorus of snickers as half a dozen pairs of unfamiliar eyes locked onto their unadorned hindquarters.
Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sighed and shook their heads, while Scootaloo simply rolled her eyes and said, “This is gonna be a long day.”
“You can’t be serious,” Blueblood said.
“Eeyup.”
“Is that supposed to mean that you are serious or that you aren’t?”
“Eeyup.”
With every ‘eeyup’, Blueblood could feel another facial muscle developing a twitch. As hard as it was to believe, the stoic brute’s replies were even more grating than the primitive accents his relatives delighted in using to torment the prince’s sophisticated ears.
“And why, pray tell, should I be made to do manual labor?” Blueblood asked, taking care to make sure the question couldn’t be answered with that insipid ‘eeyup’ or ‘nope’ nonsense the simpleton was so enamored of.
“You wanna eat? You gotta work. Same as all of us.”
More than a single word! It may not have been particularly glorious, but it was a victory all the same. The first of many, if his plans were successful.
Prince Blueblood scoffed at the oaf’s threat. “As if I would willingly sully my palate with that refuse.”
“Suit yourself, prince. If you don’t wanna eat, you don’t gotta work. But you also don’t get a turn sleepin’ in the house if you don’t pull your weight.”
“You bring forth a compelling argument. Allow me a moment to consider it.”
Is there anything in it for me if I subject myself to this humiliation? Blueblood wondered. The task he is asking me to perform is simple enough. Levitating bushels onto a cart should cause very little exertion. As long as I can stay in the shade for most of it, I should be able to avoid...sweating. He gave an involuntary shudder as the thought of perspiration staining the magnificent whiteness of his coat took hold.
The risk is absolutely unacceptable. I must decline. Even if it costs me my turn in the bedroom, it is simply not worth… Wait a moment. There’s an alternative. If I seduce the brute’s sister, I could share her room every night! But no, that would mean sharing my royal… self with a mere dirt pony.
The oaf coughed loudly. Wonderful. Now I’ll have to worry about catching his diseases also.
Prince Blueblood looked up to find Big Mac staring at him. “Are you done with your schemin’ yet, prince?”
“I am not scheming, you buffoon. My mind’s eye is besieged by the abhorrent image of your sister performing highly indecent acts upon a dozen stallions.”
The dirt pony’s eyes narrowed so much that, if not for his knotted brow, he might have looked asleep. “You talk about my sister like that again and I’ll buck you to the other side of the south field. And consider yourself lucky AJ ain’t here, cause she’d have already done it.”
As Blueblood processed the threat, he unexpectedly found that his lips were curling upward instead of down as inspiration took hold. Of course! How could I have been so blind to it? It’s the perfect plan.
“My dear Mister McIntosh, perhaps you are unaware that an assault upon royalty, for any reason, carries very severe penalties. Should you, or any member of your family, inflict bodily harm upon me, your property, in its entirety, will be forfeited and added to my own holdings.”
“Then I reckon we’ll just have to find other ways to keep you in line,” the dirt pony said with more than a hint of a growl present in his voice.
“Oh, there will be no need for that, my fine fellow,” Blueblood said with a friendly smile. “I will perform the task you have assigned to me without question or complaint.”
Big Mac’s threatening posture relaxed, and while his face did not return to its usual neutral expression, his eyes were wide instead of narrowed and his previously bared, gritted teeth had concealed themselves behind his lips once more.
“Come along,” Blueblood said as he trotted toward the orchard, where the other two earth ponies were waiting. “On the way, I’ll tell you about all the things I imagined your little sister doing.”
Pinkie Pie rose from her bed as the alarm clock sounded, signalling that it was once again time to join Mr. and Mrs. Cake downstairs and prepare to open the shop. The brush next to her mirror, whose ministrations were typically foiled by her gravity-defying mane, passed effortlessly through her hair for once. After a quick visit to the bathroom, she walked down the stairs to earn her pay for the day...
...only to find that there was nothing for her to do. The three extra bakers had joined the Cakes in the kitchen and were already hard at work. Every countertop had a pony in front of it, busily mixing batter, operating the oven, decorating cakes, and performing all the other tasks that typically made mornings the busiest time of day for the residents of Sugarcube Corner.
“Mrs. Cake?” As the plump mare squeezed a small cart past two of her house guests and slipped out into the dining area, Pinkie fell in alongside her.
“Yes?” Cup Cake answered without looking at Pinkie, keeping her focus on the teetering stack of tablecloths and napkins in front of her.
“What should I be doing?”
“Well, it’s a bit cramped in the kitchen, but you can help me set the tables.”
“Okay, Mrs. Cake,” Pinkie said flatly.
“Hm? Pinkie, are you feeling all—oops!” As she tried to turn her head to face Pinkie, the stack nearly toppled, but it came to her attention just in time to rescue it.
“I’m feeling just fine.”
“You just don’t sound quite like yourself today.” The haphazardly loaded cart came to a stop next to the first table.
“Thanks, but you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m glad to hear that, dear. Now, how about we—” Mrs. Cake peered around the wobbling tower of folded tablecloths and found herself looking into a pair of dull blue eyes that lacked their usual sparkle. Where there should have been frizzy curls, a flat sheet of hair fell loosely across a coat that seemed less vibrant than normal.
“Is something wrong?” Pinkie asked. Her eyes narrowed slightly.
“Um… Actually, Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake began, recoiling slightly, “I think we have enough help around the bakery today, and you can use a break. Why don’t you take today off? We’ll just consider it an extra day of paid vacation.” She put on an awkward smile even as she tried to swallow a lump in her throat.
Pinkie nodded slowly and turned to leave. Just before the front door closed behind her, she heard a scramble of hooves and Cup Cake’s hushed voice drifting back to her.
“Carrot, we have a problem.”
She smiled mirthlessly as she took her first steps into the hot morning air. “Not yet, you don’t. Just wait a little longer.”
“Just wait a little longer, Rainbow.” After muttering to herself, Rainbow Dash shifted her weight, trying again to find a comfortable position. The sugary surface of Discord’s roof had left her hooves sticky, and her fur matted and covered with chocolate milk stains. Many of her feathers were stuck together, and every time she ruffled them in an attempt to shake them loose, it only resulted in more joining the uncomfortable tangle.
He had better come back soon, she thought. If I have to wait much longer, I’ll be too sticky to even move, much less drop that on his head.
She gave the bucket at the edge an experimental nudge. The metal bottom made a slurping sound as it pulled free of the soggy surface. Its contents sloshed and a few flecks of red stained the cotton candy.
A soft thump from below caught her attention. Peering down from the rooftop, she could see Discord skipping merrily through his flower garden, staying just out of reach of the dandelions as their teeth snapped at his legs. Rainbow pulled herself back to avoid being spotted if he glanced up. He was only a few seconds away from being in range. Her hooves wrapped around the bucket and held it out over the edge as his footsteps drew nearer.
Wait for it… wait for it… and… Now!
She upended the bucket of red paint as Discord reached the door. When the satisfying sound of a huge splash came back up to her, she dropped the bucket.
The resounding clank she expected never came.
Aw, ponyfeathers. He must’ve dodged it. She poked her head over the edge to check the damage.
On the doorstep, Discord was lying in a bathtub filled with red liquid, scrubbing under his arms. The supposedly empty can hovered in the air above him like a shower head, spraying rivulets of paint onto him, which flowed off his body and into the tub. The only parts of him that actually kept the coloration were his horns, which poked awkwardly through the shower cap on his head.
“Now, Dashie,” he said through a smug grin, “it almost seems like you aren’t even trying. You’ll have to do better than that if you want to get to me.”
With a low growl, Rainbow Dash took off—her movements somewhat awkward due to the condition of her feathers—and flew back into her bedroom window. She stomped her way across the hall and into the bathroom, stepped into her shower, and turned the knob, only to grimace at what came out.
Chocolate milk.
“What a lovely morning,” Fluttershy said as she stepped outside her cottage. The bag of seed on her back prevented the sunlight from reaching her entire body, but she stood still, relishing the feel of it on her face. After a few seconds, she turned her attention to the field, where the new animals had been making themselves at home a little more than she had expected.
“Goodness. Those are some very large holes. Be careful not to dig too many of them. It could get dangerous.”
The fauna gathered around her and she could hear an impatient thumping sound as she poured the seed, but the birds did not come forward to claim their meal. “Come on, now. Don’t you want some breakfast?” Still, the birds didn’t move. They even avoided her gaze. “What’s wrong, little friends?”
The thumping grew more insistent and drew her attention to a single critter, a sour-faced brown rabbit standing at the front of the pack, stamping its foot on the ground. Fluttershy stared curiously at it, and it stared back at her. A spider monkey hanging from a tree limb let out a sudden screech, but when the rabbit turned its glance toward the simian, it fell silent.
“Oh, I understand now. You’re just like Angel Bunny, aren’t you? Okay, I’ll go and get some food for you first.” The thumping stopped, but the rabbit stayed rooted in place as she walked back inside.
On her way into the kitchen, Fluttershy noticed one of her own pets staring out the window. “Angel?”
The white rabbit turned and hopped toward her, but his movements were slow and deliberate, and his legs were spread just a little wider than normal, as though he had hurt himself somehow. “Come on, Angel. I’m just about to go and get some breakfast for your new friends, so I’ll get you something to eat also.”
A large bowl of greens was quickly thrown together as a communal trough for most of the leaf-eating animals, but two small bowls were set aside from it. Fluttershy carefully selected some of the freshest pieces of lettuce and put them neatly into the bowls, then cut a carrot into thin slices to garnish both of them. Finally, she put cucumber slices on top and put one of them in front of Angel.
“There you go,” she said as Angel started to eat. “I even gave you an extra piece of lettuce, just to let you know how special you still are to me.”
The rabbit looked up at her, his eyes welling with tears as he chewed a bite of his cucumber. Before she could say anything, he reached out and hugged the closest pony leg. Fluttershy rubbed his head gently, the shooed him back to his bowl to finish eating.
She trotted out of the cottage again with the two remaining bowls on her back. She laid the smaller one in front of the brown rabbit and watched as it poked its nose curiously at the lettuce. After a moment, it took a bite.
All at once, the birds came down and started on the seed, and the moment Fluttershy set down the larger bowl, it was swarmed by even more critters. Soon, all the food had been laid out and all the animals were eating, so she turned around to return to the cottage and feed her own pets.
Unseen by Fluttershy, the spider monkey had remained in its tree. When it tried to sneak down to get a bite of fruit after a few minutes, a stern glare from the brown rabbit sent it slinking back up into the branches.
“Rise and shine, ladies!”
A chorus of groans came from the lumpy sleeping bags and Glitter’s brown pillow was thrown at Rarity’s head. The blue aura of her own magic engulfed it and tossed it haphazardly to the side.
“I know how important a mare’s beauty sleep can be, but we have work to do. Remember, use of the bathroom is first-come, first-serve.” Even that didn’t get them to stir.
“Fine. If beating Silk Satin isn’t important to you, you can sleep all day,” Rarity said slyly.
Six mares bolted upright at the same instant. “Well, that’s going to make bathroom rights a little tricky to determine, but at least you’re all awake now. Once you’ve cleaned up, come downstairs for breakfast. Then it’s straight to work.
* * * * *
By the time the last seamstress, Chiffon, made it to the breakfast table, the food was nearly cold. Nopony seemed to mind, however. They had all rushed through breakfast and hurried into the main workroom.
“Ahem,” Rarity said as she walked in. “Ladies, I must know more about your particular talents if we are to work together effectively. Chiffon, let’s start with you.”
“Oh, me first? Well, I suppose if I had to say what I’m good at it, it would be sewing.”
Rarity nodded and moved down the row. “Glitter?”
“I can do just about anything sewing-related, but my specialty is stitching delicate fabrics.”
“And I can sew too, but I’m also good at weaving,” Cotton said quickly. “Spindle and me are great at working together because she can make super-great thread and I turn it into bolts of cloth!”
“I see. Spindle, is that right?” The mare in question was busy glaring at Cotton Weave, but took a moment to nod to Rarity before returning to it.
“And what about you girls?” Rarity said to Silver Needle and Silver Thread.
“Ooh! I know! I can tell—” Cotton’s unwelcome rambling was brought to a mercifully short end as Spindle poked her with the sharp tip of her horn. She was unconscious before her legs even buckled.
“She won’t be out for long, will she?” Rarity asked.
“Nah. That one was weak. She’ll be bouncing off the walls again in five minutes.”
“Five minutes of blessed silence,” Glitter said. “Enjoy it while you can.”
“Anyway,” Silver Needle said, “my sister and I work as a pair. We can handle just about any sewing task you put in front of us, but if you separate us, we’re useless.”
“That’s good to know. Now, to begin with, I’d like you all to take a look at this design.” Rarity levitated an illustration from a nearby table and held it in front of the others.
“Oh, wow, Miss Rarity, that’s really pretty,” Chiffon said.
“Thank you. It’s one of my newest designs. I’d like you six… um… five to make it. That will show me what you can do.”
Rarity put on her red-rimmed reading glasses and sat down at her design desk while the five mares—who soon became six again—went to work.
“Presenting their royal highnesses, Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
The two princesses strolled into the town hall. Celestia’s gait was steady and certain, her gaze fixed on the raised platform they would be sitting upon throughout the day. Twilight, however, was much less confident, slouching slightly and glancing frequently at the kneeling ponies on either side of the walkway.
Upon reaching the top of the platform, Celestia stood in front of a large white cushion with yellow trim which had been laid out for her to sit on and addressed the crowd. “All may rise,” she said, then glanced to her left at Twilight, who had suppressed her nervousness and was standing up straight—a mask, she knew, but an effective one nonetheless—in front of a smaller, though no less luxurious-looking, mulberry-colored cushion. A final navy blue one was laid at Celestia’s right side.
After their subjects stood, Celestia and Twilight sat down. “Let us begin with the day’s reports. First of all, have we received word yet from any of the other cities?”
A white pegasus in golden armor stepped forward. “Your highness, a team did return from Fillydelphia in the night.”
“Is that all?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, your majesty,” the guard said, his posture stiffening slightly.
“Very well,” Celestia said after taking a deep breath to relax herself. “Proceed with the report.”
“The mayor of Fillydelphia sends her regrets that she is unable to offer aid at this time. All available construction materials in the city have already been committed to the construction of shelters for the refugees.”
“Very well. Inform me at once as other messengers arrive.” The guard saluted and stepped back.
“Now, how many petitioners do we have today?” Celestia asked.
“Two hundred and seven so far, your majesty,” her assistant said.
“This is going to be a long day, isn’t it?” Twilight said.
Celestia looked out over the sea of colorful, yet troubled faces. “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“So bored…”
“No kiddin’, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said. “If we had known there wasn’t gonna be no class today, we never woulda come.”
“And just imagine how frustrating it must be for Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle said. “She’s the one who has to do paperwork for all the new fillies and colts.”
Scootaloo lightly punched the tree they had settled under. “They ought to just start up a new school for all the stuck-up snobs and send Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon there. Then the rest of us could at least be doing something. Even schoolwork is better than just sitting around. And it’s too hot!”
“What are you babies crying about now?”
“Oh, great. I wonder who that could be,” Scootaloo said sarcastically without looking in the direction of the voice.
“If you blank flanks can’t take a little heat, maybe you should be back in your cribs,” Diamond Tiara said. Instead of the usual pair of mocking voices laughing at them, however, there was a whole pack of them. Scootaloo looked up and saw the usual two bullies flanked by a group of six new friends.
“Do you gals hear some flies buzzin’ around?” Apple Bloom said without looking away from Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, I think I hear something too. I’m not sure what it could be though.”
“I know what it is, Sweetie,” Scootaloo said. “It’s just some unimportant commoners.”
“Excuse me?” Diamond Tiara shouted over the raised voices of her friends. “You babies are the ones who aren’t important.”
“You see, Sweetie? Bloom? Some ponies just don’t know their place,” Scootaloo said in a mockery of a Canterlot accent.
“How dare you?” one of the unfamiliar fillies said. “Don’t you know who this is?”
“Yep. That’s Diamond Tiara. The local loudmouth who thinks she’s better than she really is,” Scootaloo said. Beside her, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle leaned back against the tree and joined her in staring smugly at the would-be bullies.
Diamond Tiara, however, remained as confident as ever in her bullying skills and pressed onward. “I guess blank flanks wouldn’t know about these things, but everypony else in Equestria knows just how special I am. Princess Luna put my cutie mark in the sky last night!” She leaned in closer, smiling malevolently. “I don’t suppose she did that for your cutie marks, did she? Oh, that’s right. You losers don’t have any!”
“We may not have our cutie marks yet, but at least we have a new friend,” Scootaloo said.
“Another no-talent blank flank, no doubt.” Diamond Tiara giggled, but quickly stopped when nopony else joined her. “Only losers hang out with losers, so your new friend must be just as useless as you.” Again, she laughed, but once again, none of her friends joined in. She turned her head toward her best friend, but Silver Spoon was facing the opposite direction, crouching down low.
“What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you laughing at them?”
“I think it’s because our new friend is standing right there,” Scootaloo said smugly.
Diamond Tiara spun around and found herself facing a set of dark blue legs with silver shoes upon their hooves. She slowly looked up, straining her neck as it craned higher and higher upward, until at last, her eyes met with a narrowed pair of cyan eyes, which were staring directly down at her.
The three fillies under the tree giggled as their nemesis tripped over her own hooves in a hasty attempt to back away from Princess Luna. She rolled over a couple of times, getting dirt in her coat and mane, before finding her footing and sinking into a bow.
Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom bounded cheerily around her and stood at Luna’s side as the princess’ magic produced a note pad and quill. The fillies grinned as they read it.
Sweetie Belle stepped forward slightly. “Diamond Tiara, did you hear that Princess Luna lost her voice while she was helping all the other ponies get out of Canterlot?”
A cloud of dust erupted from Diamond’s pink coat as she nodded.
“Well, until she gets her voice back, we’re gonna be talking for her,” Apple Bloom said.
The quill scratched across the paper again and the two crusaders stepped back to join Scootaloo in reading it.
“Ready, Crusaders?” Scootaloo asked. The others nodded and all three took a deep breath together.
“Diamond Tiara, thou hast dishonored Our name with thy cruel and slanderous words,” they shouted in unison. The dust was instantly blown from Diamond’s coat and her tiara was flung from her head as she struggled to maintain her footing in the gale.
“Know that We hold thee in no high regard, and that crafting an image of thy mark amongst the stars was not Our intent, nor would We ever consider bestowing such an honor upon one so unworthy as thyself.”
As the Crusaders gasped for breath, Princess Luna snapped the note pad closed and turned around. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all fell in behind her as she walked toward Cheerilee’s registration table.
Another note was hastily scribbled and given to Sweetie Belle, who read it aloud. “I, Princess Luna of Equestria, Bringer of the Night and Guardian of Dreams, do hereby request the release of these three students into my keeping for the remainder of the day.”
Cheerilee looked back and forth between Sweetie Belle and Princess Luna several times before nodding dumbly. Luna perked an eyebrow, but wrote nothing else. As she turned to leave, Apple Bloom stayed behind a moment.
“Um… Miss Cheerilee? I know this was sudden and all, but you really oughta bow when a princess shows up, you know.”
The teacher nodded dumbly again, her mouth hanging open like a dead fish.
“Uh… well, anyway, I’m going now. See you tomorrow.” Leaving Cheerilee behind, Apple Bloom quickly caught up with the others.
“Princess Luna, that was totally awesome,” Scootaloo said excitedly as the group cleared the mass of parents. She hopped into the air and buzzed her wings to float momentarily. “Nopony has ever been able to shut Diamond Tiara up like that before.”
Sweetie Belle was more reserved. “Yeah, but I’m just worried that she might try to get back at us later.”
“Shucks, Sweetie. That’s nothing we ain’t used to dealing with already.”
“Yeah, I’m way less worried about what she might do than getting out of this crazy heat.” Scootaloo wiped her brow, then stumbled forward on three legs to keep up as she tried to shake the thick smear of sweat from her fetlock. “I know it’s summer, but this is ridiculous!”
Sweetie Belle peeled a few stray locks from her mane away from her coat. “Yeah, it does seem warmer than usual.”
Luna’s quill sprang to life again and scribbled a new message.
Indeed, the weather is most unusual, and I believe I know why. We must hurry back to the town hall so I may speak to my sister.
Twilight Sparkle sat mutely as yet another petitioner stepped forward, hardly even hearing him as he spelled out his concerns. As with all the others, Celestia answered him without hesitation, so Twilight didn’t need to do anything other than keep her eyes focused and nod on cue.
It wasn’t like they were worth listening to in the first place, of course. It was mostly just petty complaints that Celestia brushed aside without sparing them any actual thought. Her attention returned to the floor, however, when a white pegasus in golden armor stepped in.
Celestia motioned the guard forward, but Twilight’s eyes lingered on a trail of small spots on the floor in his wake. When she followed the trail back to the pony standing at attention in front of her, she found the source: sweat. The guard was dripping from head to haunches.
“Please deliver your report, Sergeant,” Celestia said.
“Your highnesses, I have returned with news from Baltimare. They stand ready to assist in whatever way they can. At present, they are preparing raw materials to assist with rebuilding the rail lines, and have promised that materials for the reconstruction of Canterlot will be contributed once the trains are fully operational again.”
“Very good, Sergeant. Did they give you a time frame?”
“Yes, your majesty. They are shipping the materials to the nearest rail station. However, the most direct line is blocked, so the train will need to be re-routed by way of Vanhoover. It will take three days for it to arrive at the destination. Factoring in the time it will take to assemble the supplies and bring them from the station to Ponyville, we should not expect to receive them for another six days.”
Celestia breathed deeply and closed her eyes. When she exhaled, it almost sounded like a sigh. However, she quickly opened her eyes again and showed no outward signs of frustration. “Thank you for your diligent efforts in bringing this information to us,” she said. “Please take the remainder of the day off to rest.”
The soldier saluted sharply, sending beads of sweat flying in every direction and causing a handful of nobles to dive behind others for cover. “Thank you, your highnesses.”
As the guard left, Celestia’s assistant called for the next petitioner, another one of the lesser nobles from Canterlot. She stepped forward and bowed deeply. “Your majesties, I come before you on behalf of myself and many others to humbly request your intervention in today’s weather.”
“What is wrong with the weather, my little pony?” Celestia asked.
“It is the heat, your majesty. We are unused to how strongly the sun shines on Ponyville, and it is making many of us ill.”
“Allow me a moment to contemplate the matter,” Celestia said calmly, but seriously. She closed her eyes in concentration and her horn glowed faintly. After a moment, she slowly opened her eyes, but something was wrong.
Even if one could see through her mask of serenity, her white coat would still have kept it concealed. Only a pony who spent a significant amount of time with her and understood her mannerisms well could have detected it. Twilight was one such pony, so she noticed when Celestia blanched.
“Thank you for bringing your concern to me,” she said smoothly. “I will speak to the mayor at once about having the weather team bring some clouds back to the town.”
“Thank you, your majesty.” The noble bowed again and left the building.
“Princess Twilight, I must go and speak with Mayor Mare. Please see to the next few petitioners on your own. I will return shortly.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide as her blood turned to ice water. “But Princess, I can’t just—”
“I have every faith in you, Twilight. Now, I really must hurry.” Celestia trotted away before Twilight could argue, leaving her in charge of the court.
“Will the next petitioner, Jet Set, please step forward?” the assistant asked. A haughty stallion with glasses, as well as a white sweater draped across his green shirt despite the heat, emerged from the crowd. He bowed in front of her, and when he rose, he wore a friendly smile, but it was tainted by the specter of his overt self-interest.
“Your majesty, I have come to request that a few of the royal servants be temporarily reassigned to the Rich manor.”
“Um… I see,” Twilight stammered. “For what reason?”
Jet Set’s smile lengthened. “Princess, taking care of refugees in such a large home is quite taxing on Filthy Rich and his family.”
“Oh. Okay. Give me a moment to think it over.” Twilight closed her eyes and focused, trying to recall anything that might give her a sense of context for Jet Set’s request and help her make a wise decision. What came to mind was one of the tales of misused magic from the book she had just rediscovered.
* * * * *
Once upon a time, in a humble farming community known as Fillydelphia, there lived a Unicorn named Canvas Vista. Her talent lay in painting, but the village had little use for her art. She could have moved to Canterlot, where her talents would be appreciated, but Canvas loved her home too much to leave it. To make ends meet, she often performed tasks meant to be done by earth ponies.
One day, Canvas was working in the fields with a local farmer, attempting to pull his plow. However, she was not strong enough to move it far.
“Thank you for trying,” said the farmer, “but you should leave that to me, for I am an earth pony and my strength is meant for such things.”
“You have so much to do. I cannot leave you to do it alone,” said Canvas.
“If you have not the strength to pull a plow, there is nothing else you can do,” said the farmer.
“Then I shall use my magic to aid me,” said Canvas. The farmer accepted her resolve and allowed her to try once more. With the aid of her magic, the plow did move, and the farmer did see the greatness and versatility of Unicorn magic.
However, Canvas Vista’s magic was a refined gift, intended for a refined purpose. When the plow struck a rock, she was unable to move past it. Though her magic was subtle and precise, it was not strong.
Even so, she continued to pull. Her muscles strained and her horn glowed brighter than ever before, yet the stone did not budge. Instead, it was her own heart that failed. Canvas Vista fell to the ground and did not move again.
Young Unicorn, remember the tale of Canvas Vista, and know that you have a special talent for a reason. If a task is not one that you are meant to do, attempting it can lead to woe.
* * * * *
As Twilight opened her eyes and prepared to give her answer, her attention was drawn to the sight of Celestia walking back in. She took her seat next to Twilight and looked appraisingly at Jet Set, who would not meet her gaze. He was still smiling, but he had started to slouch and the corners of his lips were quavering.
Celestia looked away and shook her head, sighing heavily. “Whatever this is about, the answer is no.”
“Well, this was unexpected.”
Discord and Fluttershy stared at the remnants of his cotton candy house, now reduced to an amorphous pink blob hovering tenuously above the ground. A dark cloud sat directly above it, emptying its contents onto the sugary surface, causing it to congeal, sag, and drop large, messy chunks of pink sludge onto the ground.
“I wonder why it has that bubble,” Fluttershy said, pointing to a dark bulge in the surface.
“That’s probably where the chocolate milkfall started,” Discord said as he stroked his beard.
“It looks like it’s getting bigger.”
“Yes. If the pressure keeps building, it’ll eventually—”
The bubble burst.
Discord lifted Fluttershy into the air just before the wave of chocolate milk hit, stretching his arm to keep her dry even as he was fully engulfed. As the initial surge passed and the wave spread it, it washed over the nearby yards and crashed against the walls of the houses, seeping through cracks and flowing freely through open doors and windows.
“Oh my,” Fluttershy said breathily as Discord set her down. His voice was nothing but gurgles and chocolate milk flew from his mouth with every sound he made. By the time the last of it had been expelled, it had become clear that he wasn’t talking or gargling; he was laughing.
“I never thought she’d go this far,” he said between cackles. “Not over a fake spoiler!”
“Maybe she doesn’t know it was fake.”
“She had to. I left the book lying around so she could take it.”
“Are you sure she took it?” Fluttershy asked as she hovered toward the wreckage.
Discord followed closely behind her. “Well, it wasn’t where I left it.”
“I see. Then what’s that?”
The corner of a book was sticking out of a small pile of pink debris. Discord floated over and lifted the copy of Daring Do and the Crimson Coffin free of its sticky tomb. “Oops.”
“Okay ladies, I’m done looking it over,” Rarity yelled. “Come back to the workshop”
The six seamstresses shuffled back into the room. Chiffon looked nervous, as usual, but surprisingly, Cotton did also. The other four looked perfectly calm and Rarity stared at their collaborative creative on the dress form.
“To be perfectly honest… it’s better than I could have possibly done on my own.” Cotton, Chiffon, and the seemingly nonplussed Spindle all breathed loud sighs of relief.
“The stitching is simply superb, especially on the lace, and the seams are absolutely flawless.” Rarity turned away from the dress and faced the girls. “I think it’s safe to say that Silk Satin won’t know what hit her.”
Six voices cheered, and for once, Cotton Weave accounted for less than half of the volume. After allowing a long moment for celebration, Rarity stamped her hoof a few times and called for attention.
“Enough of that now! If we want to put Satin in her place, we’ll need to work hard to get a solid lead on her before she can start producing dresses. I want to make three more just like the last one, and then we’ll move on to a new design.”
“Hey, Miss Rarity.” Spindle called out to her from across the room as she sat down at her station.
“Yes, Spindle?”
“I had finished two more spools of that thread we used for the seams, but they’re gone now. Did you move them?”
“No, I’m afraid not. It must have been one of the others.”
“Hey! All the needles are gone!” Glitter yelled.
“And so is the blue silk,” Silver Needle said.
Rarity rushed over to look for the missing materials. “What? That’s impossible,” she said as she rummaged through drawers for the needles and lifted other bolts of cloth in search of the missing one. “I was right here the whole time and nopony came in. It has to be here somewhere!”
“Maybe someone got in while your back was turned?” Spindle said.
“No, there’s a bell on the door. I’d have heard it.”
“What about the windows?” Glitter said.
“I suppose that’s possible, but anypony climbing through a window would have made a lot of noise.”
Rarity’s eyes locked on one of the windows, which was opened slightly more than the others. “Or perhaps they didn’t come in at all.”
She reached out with her magic to grab a bolt of red fabric and held it next to the window. It was opened just wide enough for the bolt to slip through.
“So somepony used magic to steal our supplies through that window?” Chiffon asked.
“That’s what it looks like,” Cotton said, frowning for the first time since Rarity had met her.
“And I think we all know who it was.”
“Yes, Glitter,” Rarity said, “and such a crime cannot be allowed to go unpunished. I’ll speak to Princess Twilight about this theft later. For now, we’ll just have to close all the windows, lock the doors, and use a different color.”
“And what are we going to use for our sewing?” Glitter asked.
“I’m sorry, but all we have left is the machines.”
“Oh, great,” Glitter said. “So we’re stuck inside on a hot day with no ventilation and we’re going to be using those loud sewing machines. I’d ask how this could get worse, but I think I’d rather just wait and be surprised.”
“Presenting her royal highness, Princess Luna.”
Luna strode into the room, quickly followed by three young fillies.
“...and entourage,” the herald quickly amended as the princess stepped onto the platform with Celestia, whose confusion was revealed only by a slight acceleration in the flow of her mane, and Twilight, who seemed to have a hoof glued to her forehead. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom stood in front of the platform, directly ahead of Luna, squirming nervously as they looked out at the curious crowd.
The scratching sound of a quill on paper rang out clearly above the silence of the rest of the room.
Sister, I have noticed an error in the sun’s orbit. It is too close.
Celestia nodded.
We will need to make adjustments in the schedule to counter it.
Again, Celestia nodded. However, she produced a quill of her own and passed a message back.
Luna, why did you bring those fillies with you? And where is your assistant?
Luna smirked and wrote a brief reply.
You’ll see.
Celestia sighed and returned to business. “We shall now hear the next petitioner.”
A name was called and a pony stepped forward. After the customary bow, he pleaded his case.
“Your majesties, I must protest the conditions we have been forced to endure today. This heat is unbearable, and even the clouds you had the pegasi bring in have not helped. In fact, the extra humidity seems to have made it even worse!”
“I understand your concerns, and I assure you that we are taking every possible measure to—” Celestia’s answer was cut short by Luna raising a hoof in front of her.
Allow me to handle this.
Celestia nodded, deferring the matter to her younger sister. Luna wrote out another note and sent it to the fillies, who took a deep breath before unleashing a merciless torrent of sound that assaulted eardrums, shattered glass, and scared the wits out of every animal within a five mile radius.
“Truly, thy dilemma doth concern Us greatly. Although Our sister’s error has caused thee great inconvenience, we shall make amends by bringing the day to an early end, half an hour before the norm. The extended night shall abate the heat, and the natural order shall be restored upon tomorrow’s sunrise.”
As the gale force died down, the ponies in the audience tentatively uncovered their ears and began to take stock of the damage to their manes and clothing.
“Luna, what was that?” Celestia asked, taking full advantage of the crowd’s (hopefully) temporary hearing loss. Beside her, Twilight still had a hoof over her face. The only difference in her pose was that her ears were turned down.
As you can see, sister, I have found suitable assistants.
“That’s debatable, but more importantly, why did you tell them that the problem with the sun was my fault?”
You didn’t do that already?
“Of course not! How can we maintain order if our subjects don’t trust us?”
Luna started to write out a reply, but a stomping hoof gave her pause. Soon, it was joined by another, then several more, and it continued until the entire town hall was filled with applause. A few comments made it across the cacophony and reached their ears.
“It’s about time somepony finally told us....”
“...wish Princess Luna had been here earlier. Maybe she could have...”
“Sunset can’t come soon enough.”
“...really makes you appreciate the night, you know?”
At least they seem to trust one of us.
Meanwhile, three disappointed fillies stared sullenly at their blank flanks.
“I guess this means we’re not Cutie Mark Crusader royal Canterlot vocalists.”
“That’s much better,” Fluttershy said as she stepped out of the stream. The last vestiges of chocolate milk and cotton candy were already out of sight, but she had stayed in the water a couple minutes longer than necessary just to make sure her hooves were completely clean.
As she expected, the fauna from the castle gardens were still milling around the field beside her house, yet none of her own animals could be seen among them. “I’m back, little friends,” she said as she approached them. For once, they didn’t shy away from her and she was able to touch them freely, even if they didn’t respond much.
“Since we’re getting to know each other so well, I think it’s time to let you make some more new friends.” Fluttershy trotted back to the cottage.
Inside, she found her own animals clustered around the windows, staring out at the other critters. “Come on now, wouldn’t you rather be outside making friends?”
There was no response, so she tried again. “Staying in here is very rude, you know. You really should try to get along with them.”
Once again, there was no response. A hoof stomped heavily on the floor, which sent out vibrations across the room, rattling the decorative plates on the walls and nearly knocking over the Discord-shaped lamp next to the sofa.
That got their attention.
All the animals slowly turned their heads to look at her, and as she gazed back at them, she felt herself falling down a familiar hole. Her mind emptied of all extraneous thoughts, bringing her goals into laser-like focus and communicating them through wide unblinking eyes.
Beneath the force of weaponized will known only as The Stare, her pets were helpless to resist doing her bidding. All together, they backed out through the door and into the yard, pressed ever further into the field as Fluttershy advanced on them, catching the newcomers in her optical assault as well when they came into sight.
At last, she blinked. The animals took stock of their surroundings, not entirely sure how they had come to be there and found themselves intermingling with their unfamiliar counterparts. Fluttershy watched hopefully for a long moment as they looked back and forth between one another.
Then the confusion faded. The opening blows were so quick that nopony will ever know which side attacked first, and it only took a matter of seconds for the entire field to erupt into all-out war.
Hissing. Screeching. Clawing. Biting. Ramming. Poking. Stomping. It all blended together into a tumultuous clamor and disappeared from sight into an expanding ball of flying grass, dirt, fur, and feathers.
Fluttershy tried to call upon her stare’s power again, but she couldn’t muster the necessary focus. Her pleas and screams went unanswered. All she could do was watch helplessly as the fracas continued.
With eyes full of tears, she turned and galloped back into her cottage. There’s only one thing left to try, she decided.
As the cacophony from the field penetrated the walls and windows, ringing through her ears unabated regardless of distance or obstruction, she hurried into her bedroom and flung the closet door open. Down at the bottom, buried carefully under a pile of other boxes, she found the one she needed. It was a sturdy wooden thing, latched securely and sealed with a padlock almost as large as the box itself.
She rushed around the room, gathering carefully concealed slips of paper from hiding places even her mice would never find. Finally, she laid them out and fit the torn papers together, revealing the lock’s combination. After the tumblers fell into place and the lock was released, she flipped the box’s lid open and found what she needed.
It was a book.
On the cover, it featured the picture of a menacing creature with the head of a bull. It was winking, smiling, and pointing a thumb into the air. Before opening it, she nervously ran a hoof across the letters at the top.
Even You Can Be Assertive by Iron Will.
I’m glad I stashed a few of these away for blowgun emergencies, Pinkie thought to herself as she took aim. One of these pellets should sting enough to put Fluttershy in a really bad mood. Then she’ll want a party for sure.
Then again, maybe I should just shoot the bag of birdseed. No. She’ll think it just tore open and clean it up or let the birds eat it off the ground. That won’t bother her much. I have to hit her directly. Sorry, Fluttershy…
With her shot lined up, Pinkie took a deep breath. At the last possible moment, however, she thought, I can’t do it, and pulled the pipe up. Instead of hitting Fluttershy, the pellet sailed through the air and struck a monkey dangling from a tree limb. As the monkey screeched, she slipped away through the brush.
I don’t really need to be mean to Fluttershy anyway. She’s nice enough that she’ll come to any party I throw. No sense causing her any trouble.
* * * * *
The difference a new hairstyle and a couple of accessories could make was amazing. Even though her colors were the same, nopony recognized Pinkie as she slipped into the throng of parents and foals outside the schoolhouse.
Her itching powder was gone in under a minute and her bottle of sulfur perfume didn’t last much longer. Even so, the number of ponies she managed to inconvenience was only a fraction of the ones milling around. Something bigger was needed.
The three walking catastrophes lazing around underneath a tree would do nicely.
Of course, something would be needed to set them off. The solution to that problem presented itself quickly enough as Diamond Tiara passed by with an entourage. She stepped out in front of them and spoke with the snootiest Canterlot accent she could manage.
“Ah, it is so nice to see a group of special young fillies like yourselves.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Diamond Tiara said cautiously. The rest muttered their own half-hearted words of gratitude.
“When I was your age, far too many of my classmates were still blank flanks.”
“We have a few in our class, actually,” Silver Spoon said.
“Ah, the fun I used to have at their expense… Those were truly good times. If I were younger, I would go and tease that group of fillies under the tree over there.”
Hook. Line. Sinker.
Diamond Tiara’s grin spread across most of her face before her untrained lips reached their limitations and would stretch no further. “We can go do it for you if you’d like,” she said.
“Oh, yes, please. I would ever so grateful if you would do that.”
Permission from an adult to be mean was a rare treasure for a bully, so they ran off to take advantage of it before Pinkie could change her mind.
Too bad Princess Luna chose that moment to show up and spoil everything.
* * * * *
It was a perfect cast.
The hook sailed smoothly through the open window and landed right on top of the box of needles. One quick jerk on the line and it came right into her waiting hooves. Another cast brought a spool of thread. Then another spool.
The last cast snagged a large bolt of blue fabric. Quite the catch, but tougher to bring in. It took some patience, but Rarity was kind enough to keep her back to the window while she slowly reeled it in across the floor. When it reached the window, she had to push it open a little more to get it out. Fortunately, it didn’t squeak, so she was able to get the silk without making a sound.
Moments later, Rarity called for the others, so her time was up. Pinkie slipped away with her haul and stashed Rarity’s belongings with her fishing pole.
It’s a shame I couldn’t get more, but that much should do. Besides, there’s plenty of time left in the day, and with Celestia helping me by making it so hot, all the ponies in town should be begging for a party by tonight.
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Wait...wait so you mean...and then... but they did... oh boy.
<SPOILERS REDACTED> I can see this catastrophe building and building, waiting for it to all come tumbling down.
No words to describe the pure joy I get from reading this story. It just keeps getting better and better, like a game of Jenga. Pretty soon that last piece will be pulled, and the destruction will be epic.
Also, I really thought Big Mac was gonna beat Blueblood into the ground for saying things about AJ like that. Blueblood may think he is right, but I doubt Celestia would let something like that fly. Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait and see. Though the idea of Blueblood thinking he was even capable of wooing AJ is the best comedy I could ever hope for.
-Lumino
-Lumino
3633598
I'm glad you're enjoying it, but a quick reminder to everyone. Mind the spoilers. They do show up on the story's main page, after all.
oh boy
Welp a fights gonna break out in 3 2 1...
We can just feel the trouble bubbling up to the surface...
MOAR!
And pinkie just lit a large number of bombs. You sir, are a genius.
I can't tell which subplot holds my interest the strongest. This can only end gloriously.
3633640
The longer it builds, the bigger the inevitable meltdown will be.
3634307
All in due time. You wouldn't want me to produce inferior work, would you?
3634436
Pinkie makes a magnificent Diabolus Ex Machina. I can assure you, her work has only just begun.
3634558
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm pretty sure the ending I have planned won't disappoint you.
3633598
Thanks for removing the spoilers, but adding spoiler tags would have been good enough. I want you guys to be able to discuss it, after all.
Let's see we have Pinkamena, CMC with the Royal Canterlot Voice, Discord and Dash in a prank war, Blueblood trying to kill himself, Celestia screwing up with the sun, Fluttershy summoning the teachings of Iron Will...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/249/968/667.jpg
3635819The quote was on his Las Vegas tour record. "For Adults Only", I think was the title (not sure).
The album was made in the mid-seventies, loaded with swearing and sex jokes. Yes, Bill used be a lot more blue before he got squeaky-clean in the eighties and beyond.
Pinkie Needs a friend
and a hug
You are one eeeevil mare, Pinkie/
Big Mac, as silent as clever
"I have no idea about these... fancy mathematics you say, pardner?"
I have the theory the Apples love to left others fall into the " dumb hick" stereotype to catch them unguarded, specially making bussines.
3820117
I'm glad you're enjoying it. I just put out a blog post earlier today about the future of this project, but I can sum it up here.
Basically, the next chapter got completely scrapped because I decided that instead of ignoring season 4 canon, I'm going to integrate it and go for a more ambitious conclusion. That requires restructuring a lot of upcoming events. I've started work on the new version, but I don't crank these chapters out very quickly, both for reasons of quality control and the sheer difficulty of juggling so many perspectives and interweaving storylines.
No one needs to worry about this story being abandoned, or anything like that. I am completely dedicated to finishing it. Hell, it's the project that means the most to me. When I find the time, I even intend to touch the whole thing up, and scrap/rewrite large chunks of it to bring the early parts of the story in line with the improvements in my writing over the past few months.
Pinkie's gotta work a bit harder, that's a couple dozen short of the New Pony Census she conducted earlier!
>>>Her muscles strained and her horn glowed brighter than ever before, yet the stone did not budge. Instead, it was her own heart that failed. Canvas Vista fell to the ground and did not move again.>>>
Pfft, scrawny artists.
I am a SCIENTIST!! I have SCIENCE to make me powerful!
*Alondro drinks the special formula which gives him immense physical strength! And causes his balls to fall off...* I SHOULDN'T HAVE PLAYED GOD!!!
Pinkie, Pinkie, don't you see this can only end in fire? ...Of course she can't, she's in straight hair town, population: CRAZY!
I think I can see the big threat. I am frightened!
And the fables hit a brand new low. Tribalism?! In a nation whose Fourth of July/Christmas equivalent has the moral, " If you are racist, evil spirits will descend from the sky and freeze us to death?"!
I retract the apology for the vulgarity to be visited upon the one who spreads such misinformation.
5679026
Yeah, that one was pretty bad. Not as bad as what's coming, though!