Chapter 3
That’s Not a Cloud With a Silver Lining. It’s a Flock of Incontinent Pigeons.
As the light from Twilight’s teleportation spell faded, the sights and sounds of the bustling town square had been replaced by the warm lighting and relative tranquility of the Golden Oak Library. “I’ll go let the guards know we’re here, so you just make yourself at home,” Twilight said as she trotted to the door.
Celestia nodded and looked around the room. On the other side of the main floor, a pile of cushions had been squeezed between two bookshelves. She levitated a few to the center of the room and settled down on a couple of them. A twinge shot through her hooves as her golden shoes pinched her fetlocks, so she pulled them off and set them on the table in the center of the room. She then levitated the golden torc from her frame and set it around the neck of the wooden bust in the center. After laying her her half-eaten crown in front of her shoes, she finally managed to fold her legs properly and settle onto the cushions.
The low vantage point offered a completely different view of the library than she had seen on her previous visits, when she was looking down at everypony and everything. For example, she had never spotted the excessively stylized depiction of her own cutie mark painted on the ceiling above the table.
They think your real mark isn’t good enough, a tiny voice in the back of her mind whispered. If her brain were a city, that part would be the place on the other side of the railroad tracks parents told their foals to avoid. It was where shady thoughts went when they were down on their luck, fell in with bad crowds, and made a career of robbing the local liquor and macramé store every Tuesday.
Her dark thoughts were dispelled when movement at the top of the stairs caught her eye. Spike glanced down and locked his surprised eyes with her own. After hardly a moment of staring, he sprinted down the stairs and skidded to a halt in front of her. Without making a sound, he glanced cautiously at the windows, then at the front door, and even up the stairs just to be absolutely certain. Finally, satisfied that no one was watching, he leapt upward and wrapped his arms around the neck of the mare who had raised him for the first few years of his life.
Celestia chuckled softly as she returned the hug, but it only lasted a moment before the door opened and Spike hastily freed himself from her grasp. Twilight walked back in and sat down on another cushion before breaking the pleasant silence.
“Spike, would you make us some tea, please?”
“Sure! Be right back.”
“So… Celestia?” Twilight began as Spike scampered off to the kitchen, obviously not content to let her enjoy a bit of much-needed quiet.
“Yes, Twilight?” With practiced ease, she reattached her mask, filtering out every trace of the turmoil roiling beneath it. Nothing but a flawless illusion of serenity and endless patience slipped out into the world.
“I was thinking that since there’s no paperwork for Luna to handle, we should invite her to join us at court tomorrow.”
“Actually, that was already my intention,” Celestia said, swearing inwardly as she accidentally let a wry smirk slip through her defenses. Of course, with that day being one of the worst of her long life, small mercies like Twilight overlooking it were completely off the table.
“Wait a minute. You’re not planning on playing some kind of prank on her, are you?”
With Twilight’s disapproving glare fixed on her, Celestia’s options were limited. After a small sigh, she opted to tell a half-truth.
“Twilight, you’ve undoubtedly noticed that my sister tends to be very loud. She doesn’t understand that the royal Canterlot voice is a relic of a bygone era. Even though you managed to convince her to speak normally in social situations or on a one-to-one basis, she still uses it when addressing large groups. I want to show her that it isn’t necessary to deafen everypony around her, and by having that stallion speak in her place, I’m hoping she’ll come to see that speaking conversationally is more effective.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Twilight said, oblivious to her mentor’s less-than-altruistic motive of personal amusement.
“Now then, we have a few hours of free time, barring any unexpected emergencies. I wonder if this library has any books I have yet to read.”
Twilight began a rambling monologue about the library’s selections, but Celestia tuned it out with practiced ease as she levitated a few books off the shelves to look for something of interest. Several passed in front of her with no reaction, but her somber expression immediately gave way to a grin as a particularly appropriate one caught her eye. Celestia held the book in front of her protégé’s muzzle, bringing an abrupt end to her tirade as she read the title.
Slumber 101
“Excellent work, ladies,” Rarity said brightly as she took in the sight of her rearranged inspiration room. The various fabrics and implements which were normally scattered around the room had been neatly packed into drawers and onto shelves. The dress forms were stacked in a corner to free up as much space as possible. In the middle of the room, six new sleeping bags were laid out, each one colored differently to reflect the coat of the pony who would soon occupy it and adorned with a new pillow that matched their mane.
Silver Thread was holding a silver pillow in her magic, admiring the way the fabric shimmered as it caught the light in ways her own mane required a hundred bits’ worth of hair care products to achieve. Her sister was likewise holding her own pale yellow pillow above her silver sleeping bag.
As she walked in a circle around the pair to inspect the work, Rarity stopped for a moment to stare at the twins’ complementary cutie marks. The yellow-coated mare’s was a spool of silver string with one end curling away freely. It would have looked complete on its own if her sister were not standing next to her. Silver Needle’s mark was of the same silver thread, curling across her flank and slipping through the eye of a needle. Being nearly the same color as her fur, the mark only showed clearly because it was outlined in yellow.
Cotton Weave stared thoughtfully at her plain-looking tan sleeping bag, which didn’t match well with her pink and sky blue pillow, though that had more to do with the pattern than the colors. Next to her, Chiffon had crawled into the peach-colored bag and was snuggling into her two-tone teal pillow.
Glitter Lace and Spindle stood apart from the rest of the group, eying the relative plainness of their bedding. Both had light brown coats and, therefore, brown sleeping bags. Glitter’s pillow was a darker brown, whereas Spindle’s was gray and made from a stronger fabric to protect it from her horn’s unusually sharp point.
“Well, ladies,” Rarity said after yawning softly, “it’s been a busy day, and I think we could all use our beauty sleep. I know the sleeping arrangements could be better, but I think this is a good start until we can move some actual beds in here.”
Her head instinctively swiveled to face Cotton Weave, expecting the talkative mare to be the first to respond. It was Chiffon, however, who replied most quickly from within her sleeping bag. Her voice was soft and breathy—much like Fluttershy’s, but with more confident articulation—as she said, “Miss Rarity, thank you so much for taking us all into your lovely home. I know we must be a huge imposition.”
“Nonsense, darling. Please, think nothing of it,” Rarity said as she looked down at the smallest mare of the group. “It really is no trouble at all, and I’m actually thinking of it as an opportunity.”
“How so?” Cotton asked.
“As you may have noticed, many of the ponies who arrived today are quite wealthy, and since they didn’t have time to pack, they won’t have anything to wear. For a fashion-conscious society pony, that simply will not do, and since this is the only boutique in Ponyville, they’ll be lining up outside the door. If we all work hard to keep the supply in line with demand, we should be raking in the bits all week!”
“I assume we’ll all be paid for our work,” Glitter Lace said, her eyes narrowed in suspicion and locked firmly onto her host.
“But of course. We’ll be splitting all the profits perfectly evenly, assuming everypony is interested in pitching in.”
Glitter nodded tersely, and her grimace returned to her default expression of indifference. The Silver twins also nodded. Cotton Weave’s grinning face bounced up and down at a speed that would give Pinkie Pie a run for her money. Chiffon hummed her affirmation, and Spindle replied with, “Sounds good.”
“Wonderful! Now, we’re going to have a big day tomorrow, so I think we should all get to bed.”
“But Mommy, I don’t wanna go to bed yet,” Glitter said, adding an eye roll to her sarcastic whining for good measure.
Rarity’s eyebrows twitched and her lips curled into a strained smile. “Well, I’m certainly not trying to force anypony to do anything. I, however, need my beauty sleep. Good night, ladies.”
She turned toward the door and had started to magically open it when Glitter spoke up again. “Great idea. You sure could use it.”
Rarity narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath as she spun around, but her angry tirade died before passing her lips as Glitter slumped over and fell onto her sleeping bag. Spindle loomed over the unconscious form, smirking as the gray glow faded from her horn.
“I guess she was more tired than she let on,” she said to her host with a wink.
“Er… right. Well, good night again, ladies. Breakfast will be at eight-thirty.”
“I hate to say this, Tank. I mean, I really hate to say this, but his house is pretty awesome.”
It was like having a huge Hearth’s Warming light next door. As soon as the sun set, Discord’s cotton candy mansion had begun to glow, casting a soft pink light over the entire area. The chocolate milk waterfalls glistened in the artificial light as though diamonds had been mixed into them.
“You know,” Rainbow Dash said to her pet tortoise as she stepped away from her kitchen window, “it may be flashy, but that’s still way too normal for Discord. He’s up to something.”
Tank stopped chewing on his piece of lettuce and looked up at her. “What? I’m serious. He’s never like this. That house should be exploding every few seconds or bouncing around and licking everypony.”
She turned back to the window. The slow crunching noises resumed a few seconds later.
“Wait a minute. Something’s happening,” Rainbow whispered after several minutes of staring in silence. Discord’s front door opened, and he stepped out onto the front porch. After doing a few simple stretches, he looked directly at Rainbow.
“Hey, neighbor! I’m going over to Fluttershy’s for a while. Would you mind watching the place while I’m gone?” He didn’t even wait for an answer before flying away, snaking through the air in the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage. Within seconds, he had disappeared into the night sky.
“Tank, I’m getting an awesome idea.”
The tortoise turned his attention away from his dessert of gardenia petals and blinked at her. In the two minutes that took, her plan had fully formed.
“Remember when I told you about Discord ripping pages out of Twilight’s books so she couldn’t use that reforming spell on him? I’m gonna pay him back for that by tearing out the ending of the one he’s reading.”
Tank stared directly into Rainbow’s eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, I know the book belongs to Princess Celestia, but I think she’d be on my side here. And it’s not like I’m gonna eat the pages. I’ll just hide them somewhere and have Twilight fix it later with her magic.”
Her pet’s attention returned to the small pile of flower petals.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll be careful. Wish me luck!”
A streak of rainbow colors lingered in the air between the two mansions for a moment, barely visible in the strong pink glow. Dash had flown directly into Discord’s bedroom, which was a mirror image of her own, except made from sticky fluorescent material. She hovered above the floor as she looked around for her target.
Princess Celestia’s advance copy of Daring Do and the Crimson Coffin was on the nightstand next to the bed. Rainbow picked the book up cautiously, avoiding contact with the cotton candy surface beneath it.
“Okay, this looks like the big fight scene,” she muttered to herself. “Now I need to find just the right spot to… Wait a minute. This can’t be right!”
Pages whipped past her face in a flurry, and she soon found herself at the midway point, where Discord had been when he spoiled the twist. The passage was easy to find, but the moment she finished reading it, the page stood up, folded itself into an origami tongue, and blew a raspberry at her. Rainbow’s lips quivered, and her brow furrowed above eyes that had narrowed to slits. With a grunt, she flung the book back toward the stand and flew out the window.
When Rainbow entered her own bedroom, her pet was already there, bouncing off the walls in ways that would make parents think twice before applying the phrase to their own kids. He landed as she slowly floated to the center of the room, her eyes downcast and ears drooping.
“You were right, Tank." She sighed as she hovered above her bed. “He got me again.”
The tortoise was unmoved.
“It turns out he was lying about Ahuizotl’s mother being in the coffin. It was really Daring’s long-lost grandfather.”
Dash folded her wings in and dropped onto the bed. Her legs were splayed, and her face was buried in the sheets, muffling her voice as she said, “He knew exactly what I was gonna do. He had the whole thing planned out, and I was stupid enough to fall for it!”
A hoof struck the bed, sending a puff of cloudy material into the air. Her head raised to look Tank in the eyes. “I’m not gonna take this lying down. First thing tomorrow, I’m going on the offensive. That freak’s gonna learn what happens when you prank the best prankster in Ponyville.”
“And that’s why I said it was a bad idea to use a sunbeam to roast them.”
Celestia gave a long sigh as Spike swept away the charred remnants of what had recently been a bag of marshmallows. The scorch mark on the wood was a more difficult matter to remove, but it was nothing a small throw rug—perhaps matching the one covering the burned spot left by Twilight’s ascension—couldn’t cover up.
Twilight should have trusted you, the unwelcome voice in the ghetto of her mind whispered. If she hadn’t planted a seed of doubt, that spell would have worked perfectly.
“Yes, Twilight. You were correct. Perhaps we should try something different now that s’mores are no longer an option.”
“I know just the thing, actually.” She lifted the book again and held it directly in front of Celestia’s face.
“A pillow fight? Do you have enough pillows for that?” The book lowered and Celestia said, “Oh,” as the sight of a grinning Twilight levitating more than a dozen pillows and cushions came into view. Spike was in the process of taking cover under a table when the attack began.
A loud knock rang through the cottage. Fluttershy stood up from her sofa and opened the door. “Discord, how wonderful to see you! Please come in.”
“Good evening, Fluttershy,” Discord said as he wriggled through the pony-sized doorway.
“Please make yourself comfortable while I get us some tea.” She trotted into the kitchen, stepping carefully past a group of squirrels, a beaver, two sparrows, and Angel Bunny, who was nursing a sore foot for some reason.
“I couldn’t help but notice that it’s more crowded in here than usual.” Discord's raised voice carried from the den.
“Yes, it is,” she yelled back, nearly reaching a normal conversational volume. “I’ll tell you about it in a minute.”
A few minutes later, the two were sipping their tea as Fluttershy finished relating the day’s events, minus the embarrassing bit with Freefeather. Discord was leaning back in the sofa while she sat on a cushion by a small table.
“Sounds like a lot of trouble,” said Discord.
“Well, I don’t think it will be easy"—Fluttershy dropped a sugar cube into her tea—"but once the animals start to trust each other, it shouldn’t be too bad.”
“Assuming they do, of course.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry. We’re making very good progress.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
The two sat in silence for a few minutes. Fluttershy spent the time casually sipping her tea and giggling at the way Discord guzzled his, yet never seemed to run out of liquid in the cup. Behind her back, one of Fluttershy’s pets repeatedly flew through the door of its birdhouse, but found itself back on the outside every time.
“You do remember where the bathroom is, right?”
Discord chuckled and answered, “Not to worry. I can wait until I get home, and my new place has all the amenities you could ask for.”
“Where is that?”
“Right next to Rainbow Dash’s house.”
Fluttershy set her cup down and closed her eyes. After a couple of deep breaths, she opened them again and made eye contact. “Discord, what were you thinking? You know perfectly well that you and Rainbow don’t get along.”
“Oh, lighten up. I’m just having a bit of harmless fun with her. I’m not hurting anypony, and I really want to see if she’s as good a prankster as I’ve heard.”
“And what have you done to her?”
“Not much, really. I made a copy of her house, although more in line with my tastes, and put it next to hers.” Discord formed a miniature version of his new abode above his paw to show it off and then stuffed it into his mouth. While still chewing, he said, “Then I pretended to spoil the big twist in the new Daring Do book.”
Fluttershy leapt up onto her hooves. “That’s terrible!”
“Actually, I think it was pretty clever. I didn’t tell her what’s actually in the book, you see, so there’s no harm done.”
“I… suppose not,” said Fluttershy.
“Besides, I’m pretty sure she’ll try to get even with me by taking the book while I’m gone. She’ll spend all night reading it so she can spoil the ending for me.”
“And you’re just going to let her do it?”
“Of course not. I’ll just do something like make my ears disappear when she tries to tell me.”
“That would work, I suppose,” she said, giggling, “but are you sure that she’ll try to get even with you? She might just laugh the whole thing off when she sees that you didn’t really spoil it.”
“I thought about that… so I left a surprise for her in the middle of the book,” Discord said with a wry grin. When Fluttershy’s ears fell and her eyes began to narrow, he quickly added, “It’s nothing to worry about. Just another harmless little prank to get her into the spirit of the game.”
“I guess it’s okay as long as nopony really gets their feelings hurt. Just promise me one thing, Discord.”
“One thing in particular? Or does it count if I promise to eat my weight in chocolate sprinkles?”
Fluttershy leaned in close to Discord and gave him a concentrated dose of her innocent, doe-eyed expression while cradling his paw in her hooves. “I want you to promise that you won’t drag anypony else into it or do anything that’s really mean to Rainbow Dash.”
“Very well, Fluttershy. You have my word.”
‘Nay, children,’ the quill spelled out. ‘Thou is pronounced like how.’
“Thou?” said Sweetie Belle, correctly. Luna nodded.
“Okay. Let’s try it again, Crusaders,” Scootaloo said.
“How art thou this fine evening?” they yelled in unison. The trio of voices carried across the small lake in front of them and through the empty field beyond.
‘Excellent. Now we shall try a new one,’ Luna’s writing announced, followed by another sentence for them to say.
“Greetings to the fair villager,” the trio bellowed.
Luna shook her head at them as they turned to her, causing the smiles to fall from their faces. Once more holding the notepad in front of them, she wrote, ‘The word I wrote is thee, not the. It is another word meaning you, and it is pronounced with a long ‘e’, like tree or bee.’
“Wait a second,” Apple Bloom said. “You already said ‘thou’ means the the same thing as ‘you’. Why do you need so many ways to say the same thing?”
‘You need not concern yourself with that right now. All I require is that you be able to speak the words as I write them. Please try it again.’
“Greetings to thee, fair villager!”
‘Very good. For your reward, I will place a constellation in the sky depicting anything you like.’
The time for waiting was over.
After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the demon had left, slithering through the air in a mad mockery of nature. The bird pony had immediately doused the lights and gone up to her nest, leaving Angel free to gather his team and plan the attack.
Outside the bird pony’s cave, the intruders had established a hive. The largest among them were arranged at the outside to prevent their weaker comrades from being picked off. Porcupines and raccoons paced around the perimeter for security, while several nightingales stood guard in the trees. An owl flew overhead in a circle, vigilant against any attempt to catch them off guard.
Angel described it to his fellow animals in the form of a diorama built entirely from fruits and vegetables taken from the bird pony’s supply. Of course, that meant they would have to be returned, so Angel stomped on a squirrel’s tail as it tried to swipe a snack.
Despite its protections, the enemy encampment still had several exploitable weaknesses. First, the owl on watch changed frequently. If they could replace it with one of their own owls, Angel’s team could negate the enemy’s surveillance advantage and claim it for their own.
The nightingales were a good choice to watch the trees. Their loud songs would awaken the enemy if they spotted Angel’s unit. However, if they could be surprised, they lacked the size and strength to fight back.
Unfortunately, while the raccoons could be subdued, the porcupines would be nearly impossible to restrain, so the element of surprise would not last long. Assuming everything went according to plan, they would only have a window of a few seconds to grab their primary target, the brown rabbit sleeping in the center.
That was not much of a problem, all things considered. The real issue was keeping the invading force from making enough noise to wake the bird pony.
“It would seem we are at an impasse,” Celestia said to the pony hiding within a fortress of carefully arranged bookshelves.
“Indeed we are,” Twilight replied. Her single cushion hovered rigidly in front of her as she poked her head out to assess the situation.
Celestia had stripped the books from all the shelves and piled them neatly in a semi-circle, completely concealing her from view. To attack her would be to attack the books, and even in war, some sacrifices were just too great. Besides, a direct attack would be suicide when the opponent had all but one of the pillows.
Celestia’s horn appeared from the side of the wall, slowly easing outward until her muzzle, and finally one of her eyes, became visible. As they made eye contact, she said, “I propose that we conclude this in the open, with only one pillow apiece. The first one to be hit will be the loser. Do you accept?”
“That’s fine,” Twilight said.
The two stepped out into the open and moved to the center of the room. The cushion Celestia chose was larger than Twilight’s, perfect for defense, but too floppy to be reliably swung or hurled.
“Interesting choice, Celestia.”
“I believe it suits my purposes nicely. I see you have chosen to use a more balanced weapon.”
“I didn’t have a choice. It was the only one I had,” Twilight said with a grin, erasing Celestia’s own smile.
“I was unaware the balance was tilted so far in my own favor. Had I known…”
“Yep, I’d have been helpless if you attacked. Shall we begin?”
“Yes,” Celestia replied. “The game is on.” She crouched slightly to conceal as much of her body as possible behind the cushion and adopted a defensive posture.
That cushion is way too large to beat it in close combat. I’ll have to attack from a distance, but that will leave me unarmed against her counter-attack. I’ll only get one shot at this. The forts are blocking my movement at the sides, but maybe if I—
Twilight’s tactical planning was interrupted by a soft thump as a small cushion bounced off the back of her head and rolled off her withers. Glancing back up, she saw that Celestia had lowered her cushion to the floor and was settling down on top of it, a toothy grin plastered across her muzzle.
“You said one cushion apiece,” said Twilight, scowling at her beaming mentor.
“And I only used one,” Spike said from behind her.
She tried to respond as the dragon calmly walked past her, but could only stammer and watch as he sat down next to Celestia.
“So, Twilight,” Celestia said with a palpable aura of smugness, “what shall we do next?”
As Carousel Boutique’s front door closed and Rarity breathed in the cool night air, the constant giggling from her inspiration room was finally muted, bringing a merciful end to its relentless assault on her ears. Sighing deeply, she looked up at her bedroom window. Her cat was still up there, staring at Rarity and pawing at the glass.
“I’m terribly sorry, Opal,” Rarity yelled, “but I need you to stand guard in there. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
Her pace was leisurely as she walked toward the outskirts of the town, paying a brief glance to each of the various houses and shops along the way. Despite the late hour, quite a few homes still had lights on although the businesses had already shut down.
Her route carried her through Ponyville’s most affluent neighborhood, where only the wealthiest and most well-connected of refugees had been taken in. The home of Filthy Rich and his family was the largest in town, but he had only provided rooms for two of his personal friends, Jet Set and Upper Crust.
The streets soon gave way to open expanses of grass. The light of Princess Luna’s moon cast a soft glow across the ground, but the environment was dimmer than usual due to the relative lack of stars in the night sky.
The voices of a familiar trio of fillies carried across the field from a distant pond, shouting greetings to “fair villagers” for some reason or other. Their small figures were visible in the distance, accompanied by a much larger one with a mane flecked with twinkling lights.
Much closer, however, was the sound of construction. Over two dozen ponies were working together to build a new structure. Half of them were Ponyville natives, but the rest consisted of Canterlot ponies and a pair of royal guards. The operation was being overseen by none other than Silk Satin.
“… and hurry your lousy flanks up with the framing on the south wall,” she barked as Rarity approached. “And somepony go and drive those brats by the pond away! I can hardly hear myself think over the racket they’re making.”
“I don’t think that’s a terribly good idea, Ms. Satin,” Rarity said. “You see, Princess Luna is over there with them.”
The light gray unicorn turned her head to investigate the new voice and narrowed her eyes as she noted the identity of her visitor. Her face contorted into an expression that Rarity had last seen in her own reflection after stepping on a slug. “Oh, it’s you."
“I’m terribly sorry if I’m disturbing you. I was simply out for a stroll and happened across this little project. Might I ask what you’re building?”
“If you must know, it’s a boutique.”
“Ah. I suppose I should have gathered as much. When do you expect to have it open?”
“Work will begin tomorrow. I expect to be open for business the next day.”
“I see. Well then, if you need any help getting started, I would be happy to provide whatever supplies you need. At cost, I might add, and I don’t mind waiting until your store becomes profitable to be reimbursed.”
“Not necessary. Everything I need will arrive from my Cloudsdale branch in the morning.”
“That’s lovely to hear. I think I’ll be going now though, as it’s quite obvious that I’m in your way at the moment. I must say that it’s going to be interesting having some competition in town for a change.”
“That won’t be a concern to you for very long,” Satin said with a smirk.
“Really? Pardon me if this is out of line, but this seems to be a bit much for a temporary location.”
The building itself was more than twice the size of Carousel Boutique, its design squared and angular in comparison to the circular motif of Rarity’s shop. The site was aglow with more than a dozen magical auras, each handling a different aspect of the construction, all with expert precision.
“Darling, whoever said anything about it being temporary?” Silk Satin said, her smirk spreading into a mirthless grin. “Your shop is the one that will be going out of business.”
Rarity narrowed her eyes and matched the glare from her new rival. “Ms. Satin, I had hoped that your attitude was simply the product of stress, but I’m starting to think you have some kind of grudge against me.”
“My dear, whatever would make you think such a thing?”
Silence fell over the entire construction site. The glow of magic faded as the unicorns joined the earth ponies in staring at the stand-off between the two fashionistas.
“Very well then, Silk Satin. If it’s a war you want, that’s exactly what you’ll get.”
“Don’t make me laugh. This won’t be a war. It’ll be a slaughter. I have a whole staff at my disposal.”
“Perhaps you haven’t heard, but I have quite a few seamstresses staying with me now.”
Satin laughed in her face. “Do you know what your little rabble has in common? I fired them all. Every one of my workers is worth ten of yours, and I have twice as many. You and your pack of rejects will be out on the streets in no time.”
“We’ll see about that soon enough. I’ll leave you alone for tonight so you can finish building your shop. Once the sun rises, though… It—” Rarity said.
“Is—” Silk Satin continued, pressing her muzzle close enough to Rarity’s for their breath to reach one another’s nostrils.
“On!” they finished in unison.
Pinkie Pie trudged into her bedroom. Her mane hung limp and lifeless as cruel words rang in her ears.
“Pinkie, you’re just getting in everypony’s way,” Mrs. Cake had said.
“Take those streamers down! We’re not having any parties here until everything is back to normal,” Mr. Cake had said.
The three bakers from Canterlot—who would all be sleeping downstairs—had not argued at all. It was as if they didn’t even want a party, though maybe they really just didn’t want to argue.
She sat down at the end of her bed and idly ran a hoof around one of the balloons engraved there. After tracing the entire outline of her cutie mark, she sighed deeply and sank to the floor. She turned her head toward the alligator in the corner and said, “Do you have any ideas?”
Gummy blinked at her.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
As she turned away from her pet, Pinkie spotted a dark lump underneath the bed. She reached under and grabbed it, her hoof clacking against its surface, and pulled the bag of rocks into the open.
She studied the stones carefully for a moment before standing up and pulling a stool from her closet. With great care, she stacked the rocks atop the stool before sitting in front of it.
“Hi, Rocky. It’s been a long time."
“Yeah, Pinkie, it has been,” she replied to herself, speaking in a deeper voice with a Manehattan accent. “So, did you finally give up on your loser pony friends and decide to hang out with me?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Sorry, Rocky, but I still love my friends more than anything. They’re not the problem.”
“So why are you talking to me instead of one of them?”
“Well, they’re all busy with important stuff, so I shouldn’t bother them.”
Rocky would have shrugged if he were not a pile of rocks. “Okay, that’s fair. What can I do for you?”
“Oh, Rocky, I just don’t know what to do. Everypony in town is in such a bad mood, and I can’t do anything to help.”
“Have you tried throwing a huge party?”
“Of course I did, but nopony seems to want one.”
In Pinkie’s imagination, Rocky rubbed one of his appendage rocks against his chin rock. “So let me get this straight. The ponies need a party, and you want to throw a party for ‘em, but they don’t want a party?”
Pinkie nodded at the pile of rocks.
“Seems pretty simple to me, Pinkie. If they don’t want you to cheer ‘em up, you need to make ‘em want it.”
For the first time in hours, she smiled. “You’re right, Rocky. The ponies are miserable, but they’re just not miserable enough.”
“Hey, wait a minute. That ain’t what I—” She stopped speaking in Rocky’s voice as she kicked the stool over.
“Thanks, Rocky. I know just what to do now.”
The giggling in the inspiration room stopped as the door slammed open. The five conscious seamstresses turned to stare at their host in the doorway as Glitter Lace stirred in her sleeping bag.
“Were we making too much noise? We’re so sorry, Miss Rarity. We really didn’t mean to. I promise we’ll—”
“Stop,” Rarity said sharply, bringing Cotton Weave’s rambling apology to a close. “Glitter, wake up!”
“What the hay is your problem, Miss Priss?” Glitter groaned. “Can’t you see ponies are trying to sleep in here?”
“Actually, you’re the only one sleeping,” Silver Needle said.
“What? Why would I be the only one sleeping?” Glitter asked through a yawn. “Wait a minute. Spindle!”
Spindle grinned sheepishly at her. “Sorry, GL. You didn’t give me much choice.”
“Enough of that,” Rarity interrupted. “This is important.”
As soon as all six mares were sitting and giving her their full attention, she continued. “I just had a conversation with our shared acquaintance, Silk Satin.”
“Uh oh,” the Silver sisters said.
“‘Uh oh’ indeed. I understand she’s not too fond of any of us, and I want to know why.”
“Ooh! Ooh! I know!” The twins and Spindle lunged at Cotton in a desperate attempt to stop the impending noise pollution before it could start, but she bounced out of the way. “You see, it all started a couple of years ago when Spindle and me were working in her shop, and let me tell you, that place was swanky, and when I say swanky, I really mean snooty, but Silky was nice back then, and then something happened, but nopony knows what made her turn all bit—”
Four of the others finally managed to restrain her and clamp their hooves over her muzzle.
“Yeah, that mostly covers it,” said Glitter, flopping back onto her bedding while the others subdued Cotton. “I never knew her before she turned into a crabapple, though. Would you believe she actually fired me over one slightly crooked hem?”
“It does seem a bit rash,” Rarity said.
“And girl, does she ever have it out for you. This one time, I saw her fire somepony for bringing in a magazine with your name on the cover. I know I have a pretty bad temper, but even I’ve never had a meltdown like that.”
“And do any of you know why she hates me so much?”
“Nope,” Spindle said while disentangling herself from Cotton Weave’s limp legs. While Rarity’s attention was focused on Glitter Lace, Cotton had fallen into a deep sleep and was already snoring softly. “All we know is that whatever happened between the two of you changed her. She turned mean and bitter, and we got fired before long just because Cotton talked too much, and I tried to stick up for her.”
Rarity rubbed her chin with a hoof and hummed thoughtfully. “I see. I wish I knew what I could have done to offend her, but I’ve never met her before today. Still, none of that really matters now.”
“Is she leaving?” Silver Needle asked.
“Actually, she intends to stay… and drive me out of business.”
Chiffon gasped as the others scowled or shook their heads. Glitter clenched her teeth together so hard that Rarity's own teeth were wracked by sympathy pains.
“Ladies, we have no choice in the matter. I suggest you get some sleep now, because in the morning, we’re going to war.”
“I can’t believe we didn’t get our cutie marks for designing those constellations,” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, I thought you’d definitely get yours for that awesome parasprite you made," Sweetie said.
“That wasn’t a parasprite! That was Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark!”
Apple Bloom cocked her head. “Was it? I thought it was a penguin."
“And what was yours supposed to be, huh?" Scootaloo asked. "Let me guess. An apple?”
“Or maybe an apple tree?” Sweetie Belle chimed in.
“Of course not. Can’t y’all recognize a dog when you see one? It was Winona.”
Scootaloo let out a long sigh as the trio continued down Ponyville’s darkened streets, followed closely by Princess Luna. “I guess none of us are gonna get our cutie marks for designing constellations after all. Especially Sweetie Belle. Did you see what hers looked like?”
“Yeah, it reminded me of Diamond Tiara’s cutie mark.”
“No kidding. If she sees it, she’ll think Princess Luna likes her or something. We’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Thanks a lot for that, Sweetie.”
“Um… girls,” Sweetie said softly as she stared intently at her hooves. “It was supposed to look like that.”
The other crusaders stopped and turned to face their friend, but with her head lowered, Sweetie Belle failed to see it in time, and the three fillies fell down in a heap.
Pulling herself free of the tangle of limbs, Scootaloo said, “What in Tartarus were you thinking? Are you trying to make things harder for us?”
“It’s your fault, Scoots! You’re the one who took my paper and gave it to Princess Luna before I could put a line through it.”
The entire group fell silent as a song reached their ears, coming from the front of the building they were walking beside.
The three fillies poked their heads around the corner and saw four ponies singing in front of the barber shop. The two with the off-yellow coats were immediately recognizable as Flim and Flam. The other two unicorns did not have the same colors—one was gray with a sandy blonde mane and tail, while the other was blue-coated and adorned by purple—but they all wore similar striped vests and boater hats.
Flim had the lead part of the peppy song as the chorus began. “There’ll be a day,” he sang.
The other three followed with, “when the night is falling.”
“Naughty little foals,” Flim continued.
“She will come a’calling,” the rest of the quartet answered.
“You can run and hide!”
“But there’s no use in stalling.”
“You’ll be gobbled up,” Flim, Flam, and their blue companion sang in unison.
The gray one finished the chorus in a rumbling bass, “When old Nightmare Moon comes down.”
Flim looked their way and grinned as he took a breath to start the next verse, but his face fell as Luna emerged behind them. Instead of lyrics, only a combination of huhs, buhs, muhs, and guhs escaped his lips.
He whipped his head toward his fellow singers only to find them already bowing deeply, but though his knees quivered, he remained standing, eyes wide with panic. Flam helped him in the traditional way one brother aids another in such circumstances.
He kicked Flim’s legs out from under him.
The four prone ponies only lifted their heads to look at her when they heard the clink of a bit falling into their tip jar. The princess and her entourage were already walking away, but they could all hear it when the bass singer said, “I think we should skip that song from now on.”
* * * * *
“Scootaloo! Where have you been, young filly? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
“Jeez, mom, calm down,” said Scootaloo, her mother looming over her. “We’re fine. We’ve been with Princess Luna.”
“As if I’ll believe that nonsense. I’m sure a princess has better things to do than foalsit you three. Isn’t that right, Princess Luna?” A moment passed in silence before Scootaloo’s mother did a double take at the pony in her doorway.
It was well-known that Equestrians loved their royalty. Regardless of whether it is the dignified majesty of Celestia, the down-to-earth personalities of Cadance and Twilight Sparkle, or even the foreboding presence of the former Nightmare Moon, only the utmost respect was paid to alicorns in any circumstance.
Thus when Scootaloo’s mother fainted, she instinctively fell into a deep bow.
Twilight turned from her desk when she heard the door open and saw Luna standing next to the entrance, staring at the clusters of haphazardly piled books.
Most ponies would probably think that Celestia was the neater and more organized of the two royal sisters, but Twilight had learned the truth over the past weeks. She was an absolute slob.
Luna, on the other hoof, was the model of organization, which was why she tended to focus on the bureaucratic side of governance and rarely appeared in court. Therefore, it was no surprise that she was wearing a scowl from the moment she saw the library in disarray.
“Welcome back, Luna. Sorry about the mess. I’ve cleaned up a lot of it, but the reshelving will take a while.”
One conjured quill and notepad later, two-way conversation had been established.
‘Pray tell, Twilight Sparkle, what could you and my sister have done to create such havoc?’ Luna wrote.
“Nothing much,” said Twilight, shaking her head. “It was just… well… a pillow fight.”
One of Luna’s eyebrows raised, and her head cocked slightly to the side. The quill scratched across the paper again. ‘She used the books as a shield, I presume.’
“Well… yes, she did, but how did you know that?”
‘I know the way Celestia thinks. Such tactics are common for her.’
“I’m guessing there’s a story there.”
‘Perhaps another time. I plan to attend court on the morrow, so I must rest before lowering the moon. Please excuse me, and try not to stay up too late. It would be preferable for all three princesses to arrive together.’
“Right. I’ll get to sleep soon. Good night.”
Luna nodded and trotted up the stairs—where she was certain to find the agonizingly cute sight of Spike curled up under Celestia’s wing—leaving Twilight free to return her attention to the object on her desk. It had been on her mind all day, so when she spotted the book amidst a pile she was preparing to reshelve, she couldn’t resist pulling it aside.
On the cover, faded letters spelled out Cautionary Tales of Magical Misuse by Muddy Stick.
Twilight flipped the cover open and skipped over the foreword to begin reading the first fable.
Long ago, in the early days of the princesses’ rule, there lived a Unicorn named Unity Spark. Her home was in Croupton, a village upon a hill, from which the castle of the royal sisters could be seen.
Unity Spark had invented many spells which allowed each of the pony races to enjoy the advantages of the others for a short time. By her magic, Unicorns and earth ponies could be given temporary wings. Also by her magic, earth ponies and pegasi could be given the ability to lift objects without using their hooves. Lastly, her magic allowed Unicorns and pegasi to work the fields alongside their earth pony cousins without becoming exhausted.
With her spells, the villagers of Croupton prospered beyond the dreams of their forefathers. However, Unity Spark never felt properly recognized for her genius, for as great as her accomplishments were, she was a mere Unicorn living in the shadow of the princesses.
Jealousy crept into Unity Spark’s heart. Her yearning for glory turned her benevolent rulers into objects of scorn. The villagers she once served with pride had become a shackle, binding her to a land she desperately wanted to leave.
While she continued to provide her boons to her fellow villagers, she became distant and reclusive. In secret, she crafted new spells and rituals to allow her to claim what she desired.
After many years of work, Unity Spark’s efforts bore fruit. Her ritual successfully gave her the abilities of all the pony races at once. Magnificent wings with clear, colorful feathers adorned her sides, and her horn doubled in length. She stood tall, a full head above the other villagers.
She had often flown with the wings she wove from gossamer and morning dew, so it was with practiced ease that she glided toward the castle town. The ponies there greeted her with cheers, heralding the arrival of a new princess.
Soon, the rulers of the day and night left their castle to greet her.
“Fellow alicorn,” quoth the elder, “we are honored by thy presence.”
“Indeed,” quoth the younger. “Thy magnificence is beyond dispute, but tell us how thou came to possess such lovely feathers which remind us of a butterfly’s wings.”
Unity Spark lied for the first time. “Fair princess of the night, these have been mine since the day of my birth.”
“And what of thy grand stature?” asked the elder.
For the second time, Unity Spark lied. “Fair princess of the day, it has also been mine since the day of my birth.”
“The length of thy horn is most impressive,” said the younger. “Hath it always been so?”
Unity Spark lied again. “Yes, great princess.”
The elder sister spoke once more. “Then thou claimest to be a true alicorn, born to the same glory as we?”
“Yes,” answered Unity Spark.
“That is strange, for we were certain that thou were the gifted Unicorn from the village atop the hill,” said the elder.
“‘Tis true what our sister sayeth,” said the younger. “Long have we known of the greatness of the Unicorn known as Unity Spark, and long have we spoken kindly of her talents to those who have asked. Tell us, what is thy name?”
Unity Spark began to weep and flew away without answering, never to be seen again, for in her desire to be acknowledged, she had denied everything for which she had a right to be acknowledged.
Young Unicorn, remember the tale of Unity Spark, and know that when you pretend to be something you are not, you may lose all that you are.
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes passed over the story’s moral for the third time, and twin droplets fell onto the page as its relevance to her situation hit home. She closed the book and, using her magic, placed it carefully under a wing and trudged up the stairs to the crowded bedroom.
Angel’s view of the action overhead was momentarily disrupted as his over-sized green helmet slipped downward, pushing his binoculars below his eyes and smearing the green and brown paint under his eyes. In the moments it took to straighten everything, his owl had already taken the place of the enemy. Two more owls were flying away from the scene, carrying a squirming sack in their talons.
He gave a small wave to signal the next attack group. Upon his cue, squirrels leapt down upon the nightingales and clamped their beaks shut. Within seconds, they were all bound securely and tied to their branches, having not uttered a single peep.
The first two phases had been a complete success. The enemy surveillance was completely neutralized. The only obstacles remaining in his path were the patrols around the hive’s perimeter.
Signals from the owl in the sky and the squirrels in the trees revealed that some of the patrols were weaker than others. The areas with the most difficult approaches were guarded by the smallest raccoons and porcupines. Fortunately, they were on Angel’s turf, and he knew every inch of it.
The minutes it took to position his forces were tense, as all the animals wondered whether they would be detected. Being spotted before they had finished their movements would have been disastrous. However, everything continued to go according to plan.
With a deep breath and a smile so smug that even his whiskers curled upward, Angel ordered the attack. All at once, hundreds of paws—as well as talons, feet, and other assorted appendages—emerged from cover and thundered toward the invaders’ encampment. The horde knocked the sentries aside as they pressed toward the center
Then the trap sprung. The ground beneath half of Angel’s fighters burst upward, flinging them into the trees. The enemy wallabies popped out of the hidden holes after kicking their coverings and joined the fight.
Angel waved frantically at the owl to signal a full retreat, but it was too late even for that. Something collided with his side, knocking him to the ground. As he tried to get back up, a pair of feet held him down.
The brown rabbit stood triumphant atop his stomach. Two stomps left him gasping for air as she revealed the secret of her victory to him. Several lizards surrounded them, all colored the same brown as the bark of the surrounding trees. The second group of spotters had been completely undetected.
He tried once again to move, but a light hop knocked the remaining breath out of him. Wearing the same smug smile he had worn when ordering the attack, the female hare punched him in the nose.
Then she took a step backwards to aim for something a bit lower.
Prince Blueblood awoke for the third time as hay went into his nose.
“This is intolerable!” he screamed, waking all the other ponies in the barn.
“My lord? What has happened?” the gray unicorn asked.
“What is wrong is that I cannot sleep on this accursed pile of refuse!”
“In that case, would you like to sleep over here?”
“No, you buffoon. Nothing in here is fit to sleep upon,” Blueblood huffed.
“Sire, perhaps you would like to take our blankets as well?” one of the servant mares said.
“Yes, that might help.”
As the other seven ponies added their bedding to his own, Blueblood stepped out through the open door and into the moonlight. The farmhouse was completely quiet, and all the lights had been extinguished. Through its windows, he knew the three dirt ponies, the useless featherbrain, and one of the unicorn servants were sleeping peacefully.
Nothing else could be seen except apple trees in the distance and the occasional shed. Wherever Ponyville was in relation to him, it was far enough to not be seen or heard. The beginnings of a smile traced across his face as he turned around to go back inside.
“Attention, everypony,” he said. Once he was certain he had the complete attention of the entire room, he continued, “It has occurred to me that this farm is entirely isolated from the rest of the town. That means no help will be coming for anypony.”
He paused for effect, and one of the dirt ponies predictably questioned him. “My lord,” she said, “please pardon my impertinence, but I thought we weren’t expecting anyone to come here for us anyway.”
“Quite correct. The help I speak of is not for us. Rather, it is for the farmers who have imprisoned us in this filthy heap.”
“Sire, am I understanding this correctly?” the gray stallion asked. “Do you truly intend to…?”
“Yes,” Blueblood said as his smile came into full bloom. “Very soon, this wretched farm will be under my control.”