6613290 While technically correct, "doctrix" is simply no longer used in common parlance. (While I do cling to some traditional elements of grammar and vocabulary, I try to avoid the ones that will generate confusion.)

6607842
King Minos of Crete (AKA the guy with the Labyrinth and the Minotaur). The person who has Saint Peter's job in Hell is King Minos of Crete, both in Greek mythology and Dante's Inferno.

Well this seemed like an odd way to end this, but regardless I am quite pleased I do wonder if Daring got the chance to get A.K. back, I reread the whole thing just in case, but I'm a bit in the mystery here. Well, I can think about it for another time. Your writing touch of yours has yet to tarnish yet

Spy: Indubitably, let us celebrate this completion!

Demoman: I got the booze right here!

Spy: Just don't let Fluttershy drink it or I'm going to stab your back...

Fluttershy: What?

Oh dear... Oh speaking of this being completed, did you start reading the Pony POV Series Kkat? If so, how is it so far?

I guess we'll never know what happened to daring do in the end...

Only the remorseful one would find the key? Well that certainly isn't Jua, probably isn't anyone directly serving the Caesar either from what Jua said.

So at the end we finally learn the meaning of Underhill's riddle. Certainly sounds descriptive of him. Sort of makes me wonder what happened to her fellow students as the years went on... Not to mention what happened to Goldentongue? Still, I suppose Daring Do beat out Mr. Underhill, her stories are still popular in Equestria even in the Wasteland.

Great short story Kkat.

Well, that was pretty good. Now I regret not reading this when it was being released in blog form. I agree the ending feels a little incomplete, but then, this is meant to be an origin story--a prequel to the Daring Do series. Really, it does what it needs to do, and it does it well. What we're left with is a satisfying account of Daring Do's beginnings, as well as explanations of things like Ahuizotl and Daring's pen name.

It's entirely up to you, of course, but this only makes me crave more stories from you.

You will not hear from me again. I’m retiring. For real this time.

Even the best adventurers need a break after a while.

All I can really say is I enjoyed this short story from start to finish just like the first time I read it. I look forward to more of your work, whether it's a blog or story.

This was a real nice dual-story.

That first paragraph from the epilogue excerpt, though...that was some deep stuff. Taking on the mantle of A.K. Yearling just so she wouldn't be forgotten.

After reading it the thing that I liked the most in this story was the analyses of the Zebra culture and the comparisons with the Equestrian (occidental?) one in the start of the pads and we find stuffs about what we learned about the Zebra culture in the Daring's adventure.

It was a great story (I'm maybe wrong, but I liked it a lot anyway). Thank you.

Awesome story by the awesome Kkat.

Are there going to be more of those stories from the blogs? I remember there was something aboit crystal empire, and several more. But reading it from phone was troublesome, and trying to find the later trough the massive amount of posts was a bit difficult. So I never really finishwd reading any of those stories.

Question, if A. K. Yearling was... forgotten, erased from history. How is it that Daring remembered her, even after she was completely erased? Until next time,
-Sphinx

Ps. Sphinxes are not that bad... not very good either, but still!

6630130 That makes a lot of sense. I say we roll with it.

6635273 Enjoy! (And no, that is actually supposed to be "on". )

I never expected the chance to read another Kkat fanfic ever again. I certainly didn't expect it might be something like this.

That was great! Not exactly a standard story, much less a traditional format I suppose, but great nonetheless. It's not supposed to read as a story, though. That much is clear just from the words "incomplete" and "blog." And yet it's very much complete, very much a whole and self-contained work. It's meant to be a "found footage" piece of fiction, isn't it? And what's more, it's three stories and not just two!

First off (just to get this out of the way) I am ECSTATIC (in all caps!) that you returned to Fallout Equestria. I just finished rereading the books last night for the first time in years. Has it really been years? Good Gawd... Anyway, I spent part of the night discussing the post-Littlepip Wasteland and how the ending to the fanfiction seemed to me the most subtly grimmest, saddest, and darkest ending possible. To clarify: the New Canterlot Republic, and its rivals, appear as though they are being set up to repeat the mistakes of the past. Or so last night's theory went.

And then this story is revealed like a Christmas present come early. And the first thing it does is show us a glimpse of an NCR that is already doing exactly that. They're not even repeating the mistakes of old Equestria so much as repeating the mistakes of the Enclave; a fine line to draw there, but the distinction is important. And heartbreaking. And you better believe this particular reader has been nodding like a bobblehead (be Referential!) throughout each chapter since.

And what thrilling chapters they were! I'll drop the token criticism of "too many parentheses" now so we can move on (and use some more of my own to show solidarity with your choice of style). My second criticism, however, is that the very beginning of the first pad fails to hook. Sure, we're already hooked by that point due to the allure of mystery that Old Daring's narration hints at, but that's not a strong hook. And when you segue in to her narrating about the particularities of her education in Baltimare, that drags. Thankfully it doesn't drag far, but it took me several attempts to drag my eye back to that paragraph and finish reading it. For most fanfics, and indeed most stories in general, I'd have closed the book there. At least temporarily. Maybe made some coffee and returned in an hour. The only reason I didn't do that here is because of the promises made in the Forward and in Old Daring's opening narration. I'm very, very glad there was just enough hook there to propel me through what I believe to be this story's only glaring weak point.

That's not to say it doesn't have other weak points. All stories do to one extent or another. Here, yours seem to be light fare. But I was too excited to really slow down and use the Editor's Fine-Toothed Comb. The mistakes I remember are the occasional typo, the rare droopy participle, and one that was not actually a mistake: your use of "on" rather than "off" when describing Daring's first glimpse of A.K. Yearling. While certainly intentional, and actually quite clever, it unfortunately pulls at the back of the reader's shirt collar. Yes, it's quickly clarified in the next few paragraphs that the "on" is supposed to be there, but my eyes still jerked back and forth trying to make sense of it before I was able to continue. And I was only able to continue after I wrote it off as a typo, only to stumble into the real explanation shortly after and immediately reread the passage again. It hurts more than it helps. What it hurts specifically, I think, is pacing. But it is gorgeous wordplay.

Now... Now about the pacing.

It was excellent. And you've certainly stepped up your game since FO:E. Your sentences are punchier, flowing swifter to the point, and often chain together like Street Fighter combos. Nearly every paragraph links interestingly into the next. But it's in the pacing (that pacing!) department that you've really improved. The differences here are smaller than the differences elsewhere, but they make more of an effect. They have a wider ripple. To use boxing parlance, your footwork has tightened up, the vectors of your punches ratcheted up a few percents in efficiency, and a more difficult opponent is defeated head on. How is a novelette more challenging than a five-novel fullblown epic, you might ask? Well... I can't say that it is to everyone, but that's how it is in my experience and that's how the authors I "know" have described it. The shorter a story is, the harder and faster you have to work to tell a great story with fewer tools than a longer story might have.

The Forward hooked me hard with the promise of FO:E, and to be honest that's probably what actually kept me going through that rough beginning to the first chapter. But by the time the griffons and NCR make themselves known again, I had... well, I'd actually forgotten about them. By then I was totally enraptured by Daring Do and her dual-story. But when the Wasteland presses its nose back in, it's not a rude interruption. It's a guiding hand (hoof? talon? talon) and a great breather in the middle of a breakneck-speed adventure. I suspect you banked on that, so kudos there. That said, it did raise uncomfortable, niggling little questions such as: Why not just cut Old Daring's narration there? What could she possibly say after her "hello to Cerberus" one-liner? And Am I missing an important piece of the puzzle here by reading on? Should I reread this passage or at least come back to it at the end of the chapter? Is it a hole cut deliberately from the story, or a hole made into the story? If that makes any sense. I guess the former hole would be something the reader can fill in on their own with clues, while the latter hole is just an excuse to bypass a frivolous scene.

Moving on, this story really does pick up fast. What seemed at first a boring dinner scene ("how could this be Daring Do?") swiftly took on an air of the creepy supernatural. It was the supernatural element of this story that thrilled me the most. The mythology and nomenclature you've woven here are enormous boons to the story. They give it lifeblood, and they're never over-explained. And the action was top shelf. I'm thrilled to see you have more than one flavor of violence with which to write your fight scenes. The style of Indiana Jones bleeds through with every attack, every use of the environment. And best of all, they're short! Uncluttered fight scenes are the best, the briefer the better, and I really, really wish I could write them. Anyway, it makes Daring Do feel more real than she ever did to me in the show. And it's clear you read them books, mmhmm. Actually, it's clear you've read a lot of books. So much Latin! And again, that nomenclature!

Finally though: plot holes. I only noticed one, thankfully, and it might not actually be a plot hole. Might. It was that Daring somehow heard Goldentongue speak through the door, even though the spirit of silence deletes all sound around them. This one's not so bad, because with a little mental gymnastics we can assume that it doesn't actually delete sound, but rather makes it inaudible to those standing beside the spirit. But still. It feels like something you missed in the editing. Mental gymnastics never feel natural.

Finally finally, I'm really disappointed you didn't use Ahuitzotl. His coming promised a sudden, epic climax that would set up the bitter enmity to follow. Instead... He runs off. And he does so "offscreen," his flight mentioned after the fact. Should you have made them fight? Well, I wish you had, but that's a wish. At the very least I wish you'd had them lock eyes from across the battlefield, but again... just a wish. It appears you instead wanted Ahuitzotl to not even notice his future arch-enemy the first time they meet, perhaps to make him loom larger, and blah blah blah you get the point. We're disappointed, but it's not important. This is, after all, a prequel.

Still. He appears out of hell, we all go "oh my god holy [expletive of your choice]," and then... Ahuitzotl runs off with the MacGuffin, which Daring needs but doesn't get to challenge him for. It does work, because it explains clearly why Daring hates this villain for the rest of her life, but it's hampered.

Your writing is fun to read. It's packed with thought and planning. If you found it in yourself to post more of it...

Thumbs up. Recommending to friends.

Professor Underhill and Packer dropped what they were discussion to attend

shouldn't that be 'discussing'?

Well that was enjoyable to read getting around to. I find it very.. interesting how two new stories now relate to the Zebras and their homeland. Funny.

6651284 Thank you. (And I fixed those errors you pointed out. )

6652053
You're so very welcome my pleasure.

I will be policing the comments section, deleting and blocking any rudeness, hostility, hate-speech or trolling.

There's so many comments of Fo:E and this already that it seems impossible.

Are you a wizard? I wouldn't be surprised.

6677412

But Doctrix and Doctrices are cool words. I use them for their coolness. I Doctrix likes being called Doctrix.

I've gone through the story twice now, but I haven't been able to figure out a physical description of Underhill. From all the running he does in the attack, I think it's fair to assume he's probably not a Pegasus. We don't see him do any magic, and Underhill sounds like an Earth Pony name. Would it be fair to assume he is an Earth Pony?

6692928 Yes.

6586264

>Adventure story
>Kkat
>Daring Do

Indeed

Well, I just got around to actually reading the original Fallout: Equestria and am no longer in question as to why it spawned a whole sub fandom amongst the Brony-dom. Having enjoyed FO:E so much I seeked out some more from the wasteland and read through as much of FO:E Project Horizons as is on FIMFiction and am looking to start Heroes or Pink Eyes. However, before I could endeavor to do that I returned to see that the illustrious Kkat has another story....... about Daring Do..............
I agree with others that this story's hook is a bit weak and the unconventional style was ,,,,,, interesting, but I found this very entertaining. Then again it's Daring Do adventuring (and spying) in the Zebra home land in both the prewar era as well as during the war. I liked pretty much everything about this, what you did with A.K. Yearling and her legacy was tear jerking, the action scenes were well written (maybe better that in FO:E), and to round it all out you have Daring pull a full RD and we never learn what happens to her
I can't really give a competent review of this (I'm a bit of a scrub still) and am to awe struck to do anything more than blabber. I really would just like to gush and give praise about a wonderful Daring Do tale from a fantastic author.

Perhaps my favourite aspect of your stories is the incredible depth of your worldbuilding. The use of seemingly insignificant elements of the show, along with some very interesting pieces of headcanon such as the various spirits, help immensely with building immersion in the story. There is one point where it felt a little exposition heavy: the start of the Third Mission Report.

But before you make a cough into your hoof that sounds suspiciously like “Celestia”, let me remind you that Celestia’s power is not supreme. She’s been overpowered before. Remember Chrysalis? And her control over the sun has been successfully contested. Remember Nightmare Moon? Endless night?

Spirits can be very powerful. Observe Discord. Powerful spirits, especially if they work in tandem, can be truly godlike. There is a reason that the Elements of Harmony, fueled by the Spirits of Harmony, working together under the direction of those whose virtues resonate with Spirits of Harmony, are the single most powerful magical force in our world.

It doesn't feel expressly out of place within the context of Daring Do explaining this to the military, but it does read a bit too much like an info-dump.

The action is certainly exciting. The excerpts of the pads do a good job of maintaining a thriller-esque atmosphere as one would expect from a Daring Do novel. There is definitely a more mature undertone than one would typically expect however, which does a good way of showing how Daring Do--and the world in general--has changed and moved away from the comparatively idyllic show.

The mysterious aspect of the story was a little bit hit or miss for me. There were some really satisfying ones, like the sphinx's riddles and Goldentongue's bargain, but there were others that just left me confused, such as Mhalifu and his connection to Ahuizotl (and, by extension, Ahuizotl's connections to zebras in general). It's understandable, since the pads are only fragments of a larger story, but it seems like an important detail (particularly within the context of this being a story within the Daring Do series where Ahuizotl is a prime antagonist) that is simply missing from the story.

The fragmentation of the story (between the mission report and the pad more so than within the pads themselves) was an interesting stylistic choice. It's a little bit disorienting at first, but it does a good job of moving the story forward without dragging it down with less important details and it's easy to see how the two stories are ultimately related. That said, breaking the story into two pieces, one of which also being fragmented, did have some drawbacks. The characters didn't really come to life, save Daring Do. Bluebell and Fleetwing, for instance, are almost more forgettable than A.K. Yearling. I don't really learn anything significant about them, though I suppose Bluebell is a decent foil to Daring Do (leading to that delightful moment where Daring declared that she would henceforth work alone). Even Jua, who is the prime antagonist of the mission reports, isn't developed in a significant manner which is somewhat disappointing. As a result, moments that probably should have been 'WHAM moments' (for lack of a better term), were instead only interesting revelations.

Regardless, I found this story to be quite enjoyable when I seriously took to reading it. I'm not going to pretend I was able to notice all the subtext in the story as I read it, and the parts that I did miss are probably what's bothering me, but the things I did notice were pleasantly surprising. I especially liked the various epiphanies we gain while reading the story (which while I believe could perhaps have been done better, were certainly not done badly at all).

I also found one more typo:
Seventh Mission Report

“No, your Empress’ will not win fight when her secrets are exposed to light.”

win 'the' fight

Kkat

All right, guns up, let's go. LEEROOOOOOOY JENKINS!

6817860 hype already at 9001

Oh damn! Another fic by Kkat. Looks like my list of "Read Later" expands even more. Goddammit, Kkat! Why do you gotta write such hyped fics, mostl ikely going ot be good, none the less!?

Well... looks like there's thing to do...
pre05.deviantart.net/5006/th/pre/i/2016/040/9/f/it_s_time_to_start__by_mr_pugington-d9r637h.png

6817860 I didn't pack my mountain Dew or Doritos, though!

Hmm... Game on Kkat

Wow read this is 2 days would've been one but I had work the next day, awesome story!!!

This story doesn't exist.

7311988 The story is still here. Check to make sure your "Mature" filter didn't get switched on.

so it all started from this story

Ooooh. This is gonna be a good read!

Why this did not appear in my notifications is beyond me.

Again,another brilliant read ^_^

That was a fantastic short story!

7722386
Do you think a possessive fits in the context of that sentence?

So, what happened to Daring Do? Did the megaspells get her?

I... I... How did I miss this? I've been reading this fic since you first posted it! how on earth did I miss this chapter for two years?! I honestly thought you hadn't updated it! I didn't even get an alert...

I hate myself right now... but damn Kkat, damn fine work once more on this story! I loved it start to finish, it was quite the read.
Ahh Daring... one can only wonder what became of her...

6940042
Nice

The Amulet of Atonement is safe, locked away in a very special magical chest – a virtue chest, whose spiritual key is infused into another object, and will only be revealed when someone with the right dominant virtue brings the key's host-object to the chest. Jua was closer than she ever knew to finding where the Amulet was hidden, but that wouldn't have helped. Remember: only the remorseful one shall find the key.

Any chance this might get cleared up or has it been and I just missed it?
Only ask that because it has gotten me intrigued and a little inspired. Also I'm slightly confused on how the keys work and also the whole remorseful thing, mostly because of the whole zebra see things a bit differently and I'm not sure if that applies to that. Not sure if I'm over thinking this or what. Probably doesn't help that it's 20 after 5 in the morning right now while typing this.

8527600

8527659
You know... I've always wondered... Now, Ponies do claim to have made the elements, or at least can exclusively use them. Now we see that six ponies did make the elements themselves, and the two sisters plucked them from the tree later on.

They don't seem to be pony designed though. Ponies have a decided more philosophical bend on matters, thus such a very specific set of Virtue to even utilize the elements. And I do think they are pony by nature, since they are used to stop, turn things back as they were, but never to do actual harm. It can be traumatic, yes, but the person are usually to far gone by then.

The design though... is oddly human. more specifically, Lemurian. The Lemurian, paranoid clutch of clowns obessed with taking as little risk in almost anything. Look at the elements: six locks that had to be turned at the same time the users all have to be in agreement and again you need a specific person for their use. And look at Sunset and the high school: if an element is separated, it can activate each element needed all by itself if the right individual is present.

Such a pity one certain somebody didn't take note before things were fucked beyond all repair. Or, well, heaven forbid, she had some sort of, mmm, let me make a wild theory, if she had a massively funded magical means that could amplify their hoodoo by leaps and bounds, and from there, think to themselves "well, fuck my life! Looks like I'll have to stuff my lady balls on and get into fray and actually do something that I must heart breakingly abandon my own sense of right and wrong and personal sins! Oh wait, the big fucking thing I has stuffed in my junk drawer! Yeah, I can just adjust the big fucking thing to a certain group, say, zebra, and set it so they render them incapacitated! My heavens, what a miracle! I'm the matron and in the end the credit taker for an end to war entirely forever! Yay!"

8527659
Oh ok now I see and understand
Thanks

8561311
I hear ya

What a thrilling and exciting tale. :D You should just write Daring Do stories, like, forever. This is exactly what I want to see out of them.

8527600
Remember Twilight's Kingdom, the keys given to each Element Bearer? This seems to be a similar item

8654906
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesar_(title)

Really happy to have finally read this fic =D. It works really well as both a Daring Do and a FoE story, and the world-building interweaves really well with show canon. Great work!

Back when I read this, I enjoyed it but didn't even give it a like when I finished. But the story is really quite awesome, especially the origin story. The AK/Daring idea is great and I still remember many scenes from it, unlike many other stories which I liked. I'll have to reread it sometime to see if I ever read the story or only the original blogposts.